Deborah Chan
Wedding vows are a special part of a wedding ceremony and vary depending on the couple's culture and religion. While the Bible does not mention wedding vows, they are believed to have originated from the Book of Common Prayer, written in 1549 by Thomas Cranmer, Archbishop of Canterbury. Cranmer translated the Sarum Rite, a medieval Latin liturgical form, into English, creating the traditional wedding vows used today. The Sarum Rite dates back to the 11th century and was the Latin liturgical form used in the English Church for centuries. Over time, wedding vows have evolved, with couples now often choosing to write their own unique vows or combine them with traditional ones.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Language | English, Hebrew, Latin |
| Religious Context | Christian, Jewish |
| Culture | Western, Korean |
| Sources of Inspiration | The Bible, The Book of Common Prayer, Sarum Rite, York Rituals, Song of Solomon |
| Key Phrases | "To have and to hold", "For better, for worse", "For richer, for poorer", "In sickness and in health", "Till death do us part" |
| Declaration of Intent | "I do", "I will" |
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What You'll Learn
The Book of Common Prayer
Wedding vows, or at least the traditional Westernised version, are believed to have originated from The Book of Common Prayer, authored by Thomas Cranmer, Archbishop of Canterbury. The book was commissioned by King Edward VI (1537-1553) to instruct clergy and members of the Anglican Church in the correct manner of worship.
The first edition of The Book of Common Prayer was published in 1549, based on earlier Latin texts, such as the Sarum and York Rituals of the medieval period. Cranmer translated these medieval Catholic customs into English, making the text more accessible to the general public. The Sarum rite is considered the source of the wedding vows used today.
> "I [Name] take thee [Name] to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us depart, according to God's holy ordinance: And thereto I plight thee my troth."
The phrase "till death us depart" was later changed to "till death us do part" in the 1662 version of the prayer book due to changes in the usage of the word "depart." The 1552 edition also included prayers and blessings for the wedding ceremony, such as:
> "O God of Abraham, God of Isaac, God of Jacob, bless these thy servants, and sow the seed of eternal life in their minds, that whatsoever in thy holy word they shall profitably learn, they may in deed fulfil the same. Look, O Lord, mercifully upon them from heaven, and bless them. And as thou didst send thy blessing upon Abraham and Sarah to their great comfort; so vouchsafe to send thy blessing upon these thy servants, that they obeying thy will, and always being in safety under thy protection, may abide in thy love unto their lives' end, through Jesus Christ, our Lord."
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Sarum Rite
The wedding vows practised in most English-speaking countries can be traced back to the Sarum Rite of medieval England. The Sarum Rite, or the Salisbury Rite, refers to the liturgical practice developed and documented by Bishop Osmund of Salisbury towards the end of the 11th century. The first part of the Sarum Rite vows was given in Latin, but priests were instructed to say the vows "in linguam materna", or in the "mother tongue" of those present.
The Sarum Rite was the Latin liturgical form used in the English Church for centuries. The oldest wedding vows can be found in the manuals of the dioceses of Salisbury (Sarum) and York, which date back to the medieval church. The Sarum Rite was also all about the "brideprice", a betrothal pledge gift or payment, which was brought along to the ceremony.
The Sarum wedding vows encouraged:
> For better or worse. For richer or poorer. In sickness and health. For as long as you [...]
The first English prayer book of 1549, also known as the Book of Common Prayer, included wedding vows that mostly correspond to those of the Sarum Rite. The original wedding vows, as printed in the Book of Common Prayer, are:
> I, [name], take thee, [name], to be my wedded [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part [...]
The Sarum Rite also included prayers for the priest to use when consecrating the newly married couple's marriage bed.
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Catholic medieval rites
The wedding vows practised in most English-speaking countries can be traced back to the Sarum Rite of medieval England, which was a missal containing the services, lessons, chants, and hymns used at Salisbury Cathedral. The Sarum Rite was developed after the Norman Conquest in 1078, and it was popular throughout southern England.
The first part of the Sarum Rite was given in Latin, but it was instructed to be said by the priest "in linguam materna", meaning in the "mother tongue" of those present. The Sarum Rite was originally performed as follows:
> I N. take the, N. to my wedded wif to have and to holde fro this day forward for bettere for wers for richere for pouerer: in sykenesse and in hele tyl dethe us departe if holy churche it woll ordeyne and therto y plight the my trouthe. I N. take the, N. to my wedded housbond to have and to holde fro this day forwarde for better for wors: for richer for pouerer: in sykenesse and in hele: to be bonere and buxum in bedde and atte borde till deth us departhe if holy churche it woll ordeyne and therto I plight the my trouthe.
In the betrothal ritual, the fiancée agreed to be "buxum [obedient or compliant] to hym", while in the marriage ceremony, she promised to be "bonoure and buxum [agreeable and compliant], in bed and at borde". The vow of the wife, in the Sarum Rite of the Catholic Church, reads as follows:
> N. Vis habere hunc uirum in sponsum et illi obedire et servire et eum diligere et honorare ac custodire sanum et infirmum sicut sponsa debet sponsum, etc. ... Ich .N. take the .N. to my weddyd housbonde to hau and to holden fro this day forward, for bettere, for wers, for richere for porere, in seknesse and in helthe to be boneyre and buxsum in bedde and at borde, tyl deth us departe, zif holi cherc
The Sarum Rite was formalised in the decree Tametsi, issued in 1563 during the Council of Trent, which required the parish priest to be one of the witnesses to a marriage.
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Cultural and religious variations
Wedding vows are a chance for couples to acknowledge their heritage and cultural background while celebrating the new journey they are stepping into. Couples may choose to honour their religion by incorporating traditional vows from their faith or culture.
Religious Variations
Catholic
In a Catholic wedding mass, couples generally stick to the traditional format and recite the vows that have been passed down for generations:
> I, [name], take you, [name], for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part. I, [name], take you, [name], to be my husband/wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honour you all the days of my life.
Episcopal
Episcopal wedding vows are taken from the Episcopal Church's Book of Common Prayer. They are as follows:
> [Name], wilt thou have this woman/man to be thy wedded wife/husband to live together after God's ordinance in the Holy Estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love her/him? Comfort her/him, honour and keep her/him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others keep thee only unto her/him as long as you both shall live? In the name of God, I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death/till death do us part.
Protestant
Traditional Protestant vows are often used in TV shows and movies. They are as follows:
> In the name of God, I, [name], take you, [name], to be my [husband/wife], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death.
Pagan and Wiccan
Pagan and Wiccan wedding vows do not contain references to God. Instead, they may contain references to entities like Mother Earth or Father Sky. An example of Pagan vows is as follows:
> I promise to love thee wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love again. I shall not seek to change thee in any way. I shall respect thee, thy beliefs, thy people, and thy ways as I respect myself.
Jewish
A traditional Jewish ceremony does not include spoken wedding vows. Instead, the key moments of the marriage union include the ring exchange and the Seven Blessings (Sheva B'rachot) customarily represent the marriage contract.
Muslim
Muslim wedding ceremonies, or nikkah, do not traditionally include vows. Instead, the imam or cleric will provide a short sermon and marital blessing before the newlyweds offer their consent. If Muslim brides and grooms opt to include a vow exchange, it typically follows the recitation below:
> I, [name], offer you myself in marriage in accordance with the instructions of the Holy Quran and the Holy Prophet, peace and blessing be upon him.
Buddhist
Buddhist weddings offer couples the option of speaking their vows to one another or reading them silently. While some Buddhist weddings are officiated by a monk, others are led by a friend or officiant.
Cultural Variations
Wedding vows may vary depending on the cultural background of the couple. Couples from different cultural backgrounds may want to craft blended wedding vows that include elements from both upbringings.
For example, in a traditional Greek Orthodox wedding, the vows are as follows:
> I, [name], take you, [name], as my wedded wife/husband and I promise you love, honour and respect; to be faithful to you, and not to forsake you until death do us part. So help me God, one in the Holy Trinity and all the Saints.
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Historical evolution
The history of wedding vows is a complex one, with influences from various sources, including religion, culture, and legal traditions. While the exact origins of the words spoken during wedding ceremonies are difficult to trace, we can identify some key moments and influences in their evolution.
Ancient Times to Medieval Period
In ancient times, marriage was a simple agreement between families or tribes, often for the purpose of creating peaceful relationships and mutual obligations. These early marriages were likely devoid of the intricate ceremonies and vows we see today.
The roots of wedding vows as we know them today can be traced back to medieval times, with influences from Catholic and Christian traditions. The Sarum Rite, a Latin liturgical form used in the English Church, is believed to be the source of the wedding vows used in many modern Western weddings. The Sarum Rite dates back to the 11th century and was later translated into English by Thomas Cranmer, Archbishop of Canterbury, in the first edition of the Book of Common Prayer, published in 1549.
16th Century Onwards
The Book of Common Prayer introduced a Protestant service in English, with vows that closely resemble those used today: "I [Name] take thee [Name] to be my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part." This template has been adapted and modified over time, with the final phrase evolving from "'until death us depart" to "until death do us part."
Over time, the specific words and structure of wedding vows have been influenced by various religious and cultural traditions. The inclusion of the word ""obey" in the bride's vows, for example, has been removed or made optional in many traditions. Today, wedding vows vary significantly across different cultures and religions, with some couples opting to write their own unique vows.
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Frequently asked questions
Wedding vows vary depending on the couple's culture and religion. The wedding vows practised in most English-speaking countries derive from the Sarum Rite of medieval England.
The Sarum Rite was the Latin liturgical form used in the English Church for centuries. The first part of the vows was given in Latin, but the priest would then translate them into the "mother tongue" of those present. The Sarum Rite wedding vows are the origin of the famous phrase to have and to hold.
The Book of Common Prayer, first published in 1549, contains the wedding vows used in many traditional Christian wedding ceremonies. The Book of Common Prayer was written by Thomas Cranmer, Archbishop of Canterbury, and translates medieval Catholic customs from the Sarum Rite into English.
At traditional Korean weddings, brides and grooms wear hanboks (Korean dresses designed specifically for the ceremony) and seal their vows with a bow and sip of wine. At Jewish weddings, couples often exchange rings and recite a saying from the Song of Solomon, "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine".
Many couples choose to write their own vows, rendering them unique and more meaningful to the couple.
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