Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Timing Expectations For Guests

when to expect a wedding invitation

Wedding invitations are an important part of wedding planning. They are often one of the first things your guests will see and touch, and they convey critical information about the event. The timing of sending out wedding invitations is crucial, as it is traditionally done six to eight weeks before the wedding. This gives guests enough time to clear their schedules and make travel arrangements if needed.

Save-the-date cards can be sent earlier, usually four to ten months before, or even up to a year in advance for destination weddings. The invitation suite may include additional details such as attire suggestions, a map to the event location, accommodation options, and information about wedding-related activities.

The invitation itself should include the full names of the couple, the hosts, the time, date, month, year, and address of the wedding, and an RSVP request. The invitation should also indicate how guests should RSVP, whether through a separate RSVP card, online, or by phone or email.

Characteristics Values
When to send Invitations should be sent to guests six to eight weeks in advance of the wedding. For destination weddings, invitations should be sent three months in advance. Save-the-date cards can be sent up to a year in advance.
RSVP deadline The deadline for guests to RSVP should be at least two to four weeks before the wedding.
What to include The full names of the couple, the full names of the hosts, the time, date, month, and year of the wedding, the address of the venue, and an RSVP request.
How to word it Formal phrasing is appropriate for traditional and religious weddings. Casual phrasing is suitable for less formal weddings.
Extras Enclosure cards can include a map to the venue, accommodation details, and the dress code. RSVP cards should include a deadline, a stamped envelope, and instructions for how to respond.

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When to send wedding invitations

The timing of sending out wedding invitations is an important aspect of wedding planning. It is essential to strike a balance between sending the invites too early and too late. Here is a comprehensive guide to help you navigate this aspect of your wedding planning:

Standard Timeline for Sending Wedding Invitations

The standard timeline for sending wedding invitations is six to eight weeks before the wedding. This timeframe allows your guests enough time to clear their schedules and make any necessary arrangements, such as travel and accommodation plans. It also enables you to receive RSVPs sooner, helping you finalise the guest list and make seating charts before the wedding crunch.

Destination Weddings and Holidays

If you're planning a destination wedding, it is advisable to send the invitations earlier, around nine to twelve weeks in advance. This gives international guests ample time to make travel arrangements and accommodations. Similarly, if your wedding falls around a major holiday, consider sending invitations earlier than the standard timeline to accommodate your guests' planning needs.

Save-the-Dates

Sending Save-the-Dates is a crucial step in the process. These are typically sent out four to six months before the wedding, giving your guests a heads-up to mark their calendars and make any necessary arrangements. If your wedding falls on a holiday weekend or is a destination wedding, sending Save-the-Dates six to twelve months in advance is highly recommended.

Requesting RSVPs

When sending out your wedding invitations, it is standard to request RSVPs from your guests. The ideal deadline for RSVPs is one month before the wedding. This provides you and your vendors with ample time to make the necessary preparations. It is also a good idea to give yourself a buffer for any stragglers who may not respond by the deadline.

Ordering and Mailing Logistics

To ensure timely delivery, it is recommended to order your wedding invitations four to nine months before the wedding. This allows you to account for any delays and gives you time for embellishments and calligraphy. As for mailing, aim to send them out six to eight weeks before the wedding for local weddings and three months in advance for destination weddings.

Flexibility and Personal Circumstances

While these guidelines provide a general framework, it is important to consider your unique circumstances. For instance, if a large proportion of your guest list lives abroad or requires extensive travel, you may opt to send the invitations twelve weeks before the wedding.

Additionally, if you are concerned about giving your guests enough notice, particularly for taking time off work or making travel plans, you may consider sending the invitations earlier than the standard timeline. However, it is essential to find a balance, as sending them too early may cause your wedding to slip your guests' minds as the day approaches.

In conclusion, the timing of sending out wedding invitations is a crucial aspect of wedding planning. By following these guidelines and considering your unique circumstances, you can ensure that your guests have enough notice and that you receive timely RSVPs to finalise your wedding preparations.

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RSVP deadline

The RSVP deadline is an important aspect of wedding planning, helping you finalise the guest list and share the final count with your caterer and other vendors. Here are some key points to consider when setting the RSVP deadline:

Timing:

It is recommended to set the RSVP deadline for around three to four weeks before the wedding. This gives you enough time to chase any late responses and finalise the details with your caterer and venue. The caterer usually requires the final headcount one to two weeks before the wedding, and you'll need a buffer to contact any guests who haven't responded.

Communicating the deadline:

Be sure to include the RSVP deadline clearly on your invitations and wedding website. This ensures guests are aware of the date and can plan accordingly.

Following up:

If your RSVP deadline has passed and you're still waiting on responses, it's advisable to wait about a week before sending follow-ups. You can also send a friendly reminder to guests a week before the deadline to reduce the number of late responses.

Mailing responses:

If your guests are sending physical RSVP cards, remind them to post their responses about a week before the deadline to ensure they arrive on time.

Planning ahead:

When setting the RSVP deadline, consider the time you'll need to organise the final guest list, create a seating chart, and finalise other details that depend on the guest count, such as table settings, rentals, and food and drink quantities.

Sending invitations:

The timing of sending invitations is crucial. It's recommended to mail them six to eight weeks before the wedding, or three months ahead for destination weddings. This gives guests enough time to decide and make travel arrangements without leaving so much time that they forget to respond.

In summary, setting an RSVP deadline of around three to four weeks before the wedding gives you a good buffer to chase any late responses and finalise details with your vendors. Communicate the deadline clearly and send reminders to maximise timely responses.

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Who to invite

Deciding who to invite to your wedding is one of the first big tasks you'll encounter when planning your big day. The number of people you invite will impact your venue selection, wedding style, and, most importantly, your budget. The more guests you invite, the more you'll likely spend, so it's not a decision to be taken lightly.

Immediate Family Members

This includes your and your partner's parents, siblings, and grandparents. Your siblings' spouses and children should also be included in this group. If you have stepparents, step-siblings, or half-siblings, they are also part of your immediate family.

Wedding Party Members

Your wedding party, including the maid of honour, best man, bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls, ring bearers, and others, should be at the top of your guest list.

Close Friends and Chosen Family

Your closest friends and chosen family are also on the must-invite list. These loved ones may be included in your wedding party.

Close Family

Once you've added your VIPs to the list, move on to close family, such as aunts, uncles, and first cousins. Depending on the number of relatives and your desired wedding size, you may invite all or some of these relatives.

Family Friends

Family friends are people who watched you grow up, and if you're still in touch with them, they may receive an invitation.

School Friends

School friends, whether from high school or college, can be a joyful and nostalgic addition to your guest list.

Parents' Friends

Different from family friends, these are people who are friends with your parents but whom you may not know well. If your parents are contributing financially to your wedding, they may want to add these people to the guest list.

Plus-Ones

Anyone in a serious relationship (engaged, married, living together, or dating for over a year) should be invited with a plus-one, whether you know their partner well or not.

Children

Whether or not to invite children is a tricky subject. It's your choice, but we recommend making a rule and sticking to it—no exceptions. Yes, you are allowed to only invite children who are in the wedding party and not others.

Other Considerations

  • Acquaintances: Social media contacts, former colleagues, and neighbours you don't know well don't usually make the guest list, unless you're having a huge, no-holds-barred wedding.
  • Coworkers: You don't have to invite coworkers unless you consider them friends and hang out with them outside of work.
  • Exes: Unless you and your partner are both friends with your exes, and your past relationships are water under the bridge, it's best not to invite them.
  • People from your past: If a friend invited you to their wedding years ago and you're no longer close, you don't have to reciprocate.

Remember, your wedding day is about celebrating your love with the people who bring you joy and excitement. So, focus on inviting those who are closest to you and creating a memorable event that reflects your style and personality.

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What to include

The contents of your wedding invitation suite will depend on your wedding style and the amount of information you want to give your guests. Here is a list of what to include in your wedding invitations:

The Host Line

The host line is where the name(s) of the event host(s) appear. The hosts are usually the people paying for the wedding. Depending on who is hosting, the wording will vary slightly. It could be one set of parents, both sets of parents, the couple and their parents, or just the couple.

The Request Line

The request line is where you invite your guests to join your wedding celebration. Traditionally, couples use formal wording to denote a formal, religious ceremony, whereas wedding invitations for modern celebrations tend to use more casual language.

Couple's Names

Make sure your names are front and centre. For heterosexual couples, the bride's name traditionally comes before the groom's. For same-sex couples, the wording of the host line may dictate whose name comes first. If you are hosting yourselves, it's up to you to decide whose name is first.

Date, Time, and Location

Don't make your guests guess! Include everything they need to show up at the right place at the right time. Include the date, start time, and location of the ceremony.

Number of Guests

Some couples allow guests to bring a plus one, while others prefer to keep their ceremonies more intimate. Only write the name of the guest on the envelope to subtly convey that the invitation is only for them. You can also specify if the wedding allows children.

Reception Details

The party line comes at the end of the invitation and notifies guests of what's scheduled to follow the wedding ceremony. Your wedding reception card wording should let your guests know what type of festivities to expect, whether it's dinner and dancing, a light luncheon, or cocktails and canapes.

Enclosure Cards

Once you have your bases covered on your invitation, feel free to include enclosure cards (detail cards) with more information about the event. Your cards could include reception details, RSVP information, or anything else that wouldn't fit on the invitation.

RSVP Cards

RSVP cards are great for getting an accurate headcount for your big day. Make sure to include a reply-by date that occurs at least three weeks before the wedding. On the RSVP card, include specific instructions about the number of guests they're allowed to bring and how they should respond.

Details Card

If you run out of space on your invitation but need to mention details about accommodations, directions, or attire, a details card is the perfect place for overflow.

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How to address the envelopes

When it comes to addressing wedding invitation envelopes, there are a few things to keep in mind to ensure they are both accurate and respectful. Here are some guidelines to help you:

Formality

The formality of your wedding will influence the style of addressing. For a formal wedding, opt for a traditional and elegant addressing style. For a casual wedding, a more relaxed approach is suitable.

Use appropriate titles and honorifics for your guests, such as Mr., Mrs., Ms., Miss, Master, and Dr. When addressing married couples, the traditional way is to use "Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's first name] [Last name]". However, today's acceptable etiquette is to use both first names and last names or both last names. For example, "Mr. John and Mrs. Susan Smith". If the wife has chosen to keep her maiden name, you can use "Ms.". If the couple has different last names, you can address them as "Mr. [Guest's first name] [Guest's last name] and Ms. [Guest's first name] [Guest's last name]".

Names

Use the full names of your guests, spelling out their first names (e.g., William instead of Bill). Avoid using nicknames unless the guest has always used that nickname (e.g., Frank instead of Francis). If the children are under 18, they can be included with "and family" or by listing their names. If the children are over 18, they should receive their own invitation.

Plus ones

If you are inviting a single guest with a plus one, address the envelope to the guest and "and guest". If you know the name of the plus one, include their name instead of "and guest".

Address format

Write out all words in the address, such as Street, Avenue, etc. Abbreviate titles like Mr., Mrs., Ms., and Jr. Write out professional titles like Doctor or Professor. For house numbers under twenty, spell them out. The return address should be written on the back flap.

Timing

Send your invitations 2-3 months before your wedding. If your wedding is a destination wedding or during a holiday, send them 3 months in advance.

Frequently asked questions

Wedding invitations are typically sent out 6-8 weeks before the wedding. For destination weddings, invitations should be sent out 3 months in advance. Save-the-date cards are usually sent 6-8 months before the wedding, or even up to a year in advance.

Wedding invitations should include the full names of the couple, the hosts (if different), the time, date, month, and year of the wedding, and the full address of the venue. Other details such as dress code, a map, and accommodation information are often included in the invitation suite, which may include additional cards.

Wedding invitations typically include a host line, a request line, the couple's names, the date, time, and location of the ceremony, and a reception line.

The wording of a wedding invitation can vary depending on the formality of the event. Formal phrasing includes "request the honour of your presence", while more casual language such as "invite you to join" or "please join us to celebrate" is also common.

It is important to address the envelopes correctly, using full names and social titles. The return address should be included on the back flap, and postage should be included on response cards. It is also a good idea to order extra invitations in case of any mistakes or last-minute additions to the guest list.

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