Addressing Wedding Invites: Maiden Names And Modern Solutions

When addressing wedding invitations, it's important to get the names of the invitees right. This can be tricky when it comes to married women who have kept their maiden names. The traditional format for a married couple with the same last name is Mr. and Mrs. [husband's first name] [shared last name], but this doesn't work when the spouses have different surnames. The contemporary format for this situation is to write out both names in full, with Ms. instead of Mrs.: Mr. [husband's first name] [husband's last name] and Ms. [wife's first name] [wife's last name]. It's also possible to use Mrs. instead of Ms. if the woman prefers this.

Formal vs. Informal Addressing

When addressing wedding invitations, it's important to consider the formality of the event and the preferences of the couple being invited. Here are some tips on formal versus informal addressing:

Formal Addressing:

• Formal addressing is typically used for more traditional or upscale weddings.
• It involves using full names and titles (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Dr., etc.).
• For a married couple with the same last name, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". If the couple prefers the wife's name to be included, it can be "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren".
• For a married couple with different last names, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez".
• Formal addressing uses a more traditional format, such as spelling out everything without abbreviations and using British spellings (e.g., "favour" instead of "favor").

Informal Addressing:

• Informal addressing is suitable for casual or less formal weddings.
• It can involve using first names only or a combination of first and last names without titles.
• For a married couple, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Thomas and Michelle Warren".
• Informal addressing allows for more flexibility in formatting and wording, such as using abbreviations and modern layouts.

General Guidelines:

• When in doubt, it is better to use "Ms." for a married woman who kept her maiden name, as "Mrs." traditionally denotes a connection to her husband's name.
• Always consider the couple's preferences and use their chosen titles and names.
• If you are unsure about their preferences, it is best to ask or default to more modern and inclusive options.
• The inner envelope is more informal and can omit certain elements, such as titles or last names.
• For unmarried couples living together, use separate lines without the conjoining "and", as the "and" signifies marriage.

Alphabetical Order

When addressing wedding invitations, it is important to consider alphabetical order, especially when inviting unmarried couples or same-gender couples who live together. In these instances, the names should be written on two separate lines without the conjunction "and", with the person closest to the invitee listed first. If you know the couple equally well, it is best to list their names alphabetically by their last name.

For example, if you are inviting an unmarried couple, Ben Clarke and Sophie Westbourne, and you are closer to Sophie, the invitation could be addressed to:

> Ms. Sophie Westbourne

> Mr. Benjamin Clarke

However, if you know them both equally well, alphabetical order would be used, and the invitation would be addressed to:

> Mr. Benjamin Clarke

> Ms. Sophie Westbourne

The same alphabetical order principle applies to married couples with different last names. Their names should be written on the same line, joined by "and", with the names listed alphabetically. For example, if you are inviting a married couple, Rebecca Booth and Linda Harris, the invitation could be addressed to:

> Ms. R. Booth and Ms. L. Harris

If the names are too long to fit on one line, it is acceptable to write them on two separate lines, joined by "and".

Titles: Ms., Miss, Mrs

When addressing wedding invitations, it is important to use titles and names correctly, especially when a woman has chosen to keep her maiden name. Here is a guide to help you navigate the sometimes tricky world of titles and names on wedding invitations.

Ms.

The title "Ms." is generally used for single women over 18 and married women who have chosen to keep their maiden name. When addressing a married couple with different last names, the correct format is "Ms. [wife's full name] and Mr. [husband's full name]". It is best to keep both names on one line if possible, but if it is too long, it is acceptable to write each name on a separate line, joining them with "and".

For example:

> Ms. Valerie Warrington and Mr. Brian Freeman

Miss

"Miss" is the traditional title for unmarried women under the age of 18. However, in contemporary usage, it is becoming less common to use this title, and Ms. is often used for all women, regardless of their marital status.

Mrs.

"Mrs." is the traditional title for married women who have taken their husband's last name. However, when a woman keeps her maiden name, the use of "Mrs." can become confusing and is generally not recommended. In such cases, "Ms." is the more appropriate title.

Asking the Woman's Preference

Ultimately, the best course of action is to ask the woman in question how she prefers to be addressed. Every woman has her own preference, and respecting that preference is essential. Some women may prefer "Mrs." even if they have kept their maiden name, while others may find that offensive and prefer "Ms." It is always best to ask and use the title that makes the individual feel comfortable and respected.

Contemporary vs. Traditional Addressing

It is worth noting that addressing styles can also vary between traditional and contemporary styles. Traditional styles often use titles and full names, while contemporary styles may use only first names or a combination of first names and last names. Alphabetical order is often used for couples with different last names in contemporary addressing.

For example:

> Traditional: Mr. and Mrs. James Smith

> Contemporary: James and Charlotte

In conclusion, when addressing wedding invitations to women who have kept their maiden names, it is generally best to use the title "Ms." followed by their full name. However, always consider asking the individual's preference and respecting their choice of title and name format.

Married Couple, Different Last Names

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with different last names, the outer envelope should include both of their names, with the woman's name listed first. The woman should be addressed as "Ms." followed by her first and last name, while the man should be addressed as "Mr." followed by his first and last name. Here is an example:

Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez

612 Maple Lane

Fairhope, Alabama 36000

If the combined names are too long to fit on one line, it is acceptable to list each name on a separate line, using "and" to conjoin them. Here is an example:

Ms. Maria Stevens

And

Mr. David Estevez

612 Maple Lane

Fairhope, Alabama 36000

For the inner envelope, you can simply use their first names:

Maria and David

If you are inviting children along with the married couple, you can include their names on the second line of the inner envelope:

Maria and David

Anders and Sue

Alternatively, if the woman has chosen to hyphenate her last name, she can be addressed as either "Ms." or "Mrs.". Here is an example:

Mr. Brian Freeman and Mrs. Valerie Warrington-Freeman

612 Maple Lane

Fairhope, Alabama 36000

Again, if the names are too long to fit on one line, you can separate them onto two lines, using "and" to conjoin them.

It is worth noting that some women may prefer to be addressed as "Mrs." even if they have kept their maiden name. If you are unsure, it is best to check with the woman in question or default to "Ms.".

Unmarried Couple, Same Address

When addressing an invitation to an unmarried couple living at the same address, there are a few guidelines to follow. Firstly, avoid using a conjoining "and" between their names, as this typically signifies marriage. Instead, write their names independently on two separate lines. The woman's name can be written first, as is standard for social correspondence, or you can list the person you are closest to first.

Outer envelope: "Mr. Stanley Kim

Ms. Amanda Rhee"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Kim and Ms. Rhee" or "Stanley and Amanda"

Frequently asked questions