Junior Rasmussen
Wedding speeches are a key part of a wedding reception, giving guests an insight into the couple and their relationship. There are various opinions on when the wedding speeches should happen. Some people believe that they should be done during dinner, while others think they should be done after the meal. The traditional order of wedding speeches usually starts with the father of the bride, followed by the groom's family, the maid of honour, and the best man. However, couples can choose to switch up the order based on their preferences.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Ideal time for wedding speeches | During dinner, after the main course |
| Who should give a speech | Parents/parent figures, wedding party members, best friends, close relatives, or anyone else the couple chooses |
| Speech order | Father of the bride, groom's family, maid of honour, best man |
| Speech length | Under five minutes, closer to three minutes if possible |
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What You'll Learn
Wedding speech order
Wedding speeches are a key part of a wedding reception. They are a chance for the hosts and the happy couple to speak to their guests and thank them for attending. The length and timing of a speech can affect the overall celebration. For instance, you don't want to place the speeches at the end of the evening, giving your best man or maid of honour a chance to drink a little too much!
There is a specific order for traditional wedding speeches, but you can always change it to suit your specific situation. The traditional order is as follows: first, the father of the bride, who usually starts by welcoming and thanking guests, and may share an anecdote about the bride and offer some words of wisdom for the couple. Next, the groom's family will speak. Then, the maid of honour, and finally, the best man.
Some people may not feel comfortable with public speaking, so you could skip the traditional parent speeches and ask someone else to speak, like the brother or sister of the bride or groom. You could also have multiple speeches throughout the day, with some at the rehearsal dinner, the wedding reception, and during the ceremony.
There are a few options for when to schedule the speeches. Some people prefer to get them done first so that the speakers can relax and enjoy the rest of the evening stress-free. However, others feel that it works better to do them after the meal, as guests are often hungry and may prefer not to be sitting and listening to speeches on an empty stomach. Doing the speeches after the meal also means that the catering team has a bit more time to prepare.
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When to give a speech
There are a few different options for when to give a wedding speech, and ultimately, it is up to the couple to decide what works best for their specific situation. Here are some common options for when to give a speech:
During Dinner
Some people choose to have speeches during dinner. This can be a good time as guests are already gathered and seated, and it can cut down on the amount of time they are left sitting at the tables. It is also a good opportunity for the catering team and staff to arrange things after the meal. However, some photographers and caterers may prefer to avoid speeches during dinner, as they may not get to eat if they are served much later than the wedding party and parents.
After Dinner
Another option is to have the speeches after dinner. This can be a good way to transition from the meal to the dancing and festivities and allow speech-givers to relax and enjoy the rest of the night. However, having speeches after dinner can also leave people in their seats for a long time, and some may be eager to get to the dancing.
Before Dinner
Some couples choose to get the formalities out of the way and have the speeches before dinner. This can be a good option to kick off the reception and set the tone for the rest of the evening. However, this may mean that guests are left waiting to eat, which can be inconvenient, especially if dinner is delayed.
During Cocktail Hour
If you are having a more casual celebration without a seated dinner, having speeches during cocktail hour can be a good way to capture your guests' attention. This allows guests to arrive, get a drink, and grab some hors d'oeuvres before the speeches begin.
Rehearsal Dinner
Speeches are also traditionally given at the rehearsal dinner, which tends to be a more intimate gathering with fewer people in attendance. These toasts can be longer and more involved, serving as a welcome and an introduction to the wedding celebration.
Traditional Order of Speeches
The traditional order of wedding speeches typically includes the parents of the bride, followed by the parents of the groom, the maid of honour, and the best man. However, this order can vary depending on personal preferences and family dynamics. For example, the father of the bride often gives the first speech, but this can also be done by the mother of the bride or another family member.
Remember, these are just guidelines, and you can choose to adjust the timing and order of the speeches to suit your preferences and the flow of your wedding celebration.
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Who gives a speech
While wedding speech traditions exist, they are not rules that couples must follow. The people who give a speech at a wedding are usually the parents of the couple, the wedding party, best friends, or close relatives. Ultimately, you can ask whoever you want to give a speech if it will be meaningful to you.
The father of the bride is typically the first speaker in a traditional wedding speech order. The father of the bride usually welcomes and thanks the guests for coming, shares an anecdote about the bride, and offers some words of wisdom for the couple. The mother of the bride may also give a speech along with or in place of the father of the bride.
Following the father of the bride, the groom's family may speak next in a traditional wedding. The maid of honour, who is usually second to last, gives a speech after the parents of the bride and groom. The best man is traditionally the last speaker.
However, couples may choose to switch up the order depending on their preferences. For example, the best man may go first, or you may skip the traditional parent speeches in favour of someone else, like the brother of the bride or sister of the groom.
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Speech content
The content of a wedding speech should be heartfelt and convey genuine happiness for the couple. It is important to remember that this is a toast, not a roast—save any questionable stories for the bachelor party! A good wedding speech should include an introduction, a short anecdote or story, and conclude by raising a glass to the newlyweds.
The father of the bride's speech is often one of the most special moments of the day and is usually the first speech in a traditional wedding. It typically starts with welcoming guests and thanking them for coming, followed by a heartfelt anecdote about the bride and some words of wisdom for the couple. The mother of the bride may also give a speech, either alongside or in place of the father of the bride.
The groom's family may speak next, followed by the maid of honour and the best man. The maid of honour's speech is often a sweet moment, remembered by the bride forever. The best man's speech usually gets a lot of attention and is an opportunity for some lighthearted stories about the groom.
The newlyweds may also choose to speak, sharing their favourite memories of each other and thanking their guests for attending. It is important to keep the speeches short and sweet, with a simple template, to ensure the day flows smoothly and guests remain engaged.
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Speech length
When it comes to wedding speeches, it's important to keep in mind that shorter is usually better. As a guideline, it's best to keep wedding speeches under five minutes, and closer to three minutes if possible. Even if you have a lot to say, three minutes can feel like a long time to hold your guests' attention. A short and sweet speech that evokes emotion and conveys happiness for the couple is often more impactful than a lengthy one.
If you're the one giving the speech, consider using a simple template to help you stay within the desired time frame. Start by introducing yourself and sharing how you know the couple, followed by a brief anecdote or story, and conclude by raising a glass to the newlyweds. This structure will help you create a concise and effective speech that your audience will appreciate.
While it's essential to be mindful of the length, don't stress too much about sticking to an exact time. The most important thing is to speak from the heart and share your well-wishes for the happy couple. Remember, the couple and guests will appreciate your words, no matter how long or short your speech may be.
Additionally, the number of speeches can impact the overall timeline. If you have multiple speakers, consider asking each person to aim for a shorter duration to avoid the speech portion of the reception feeling too drawn out. This will help maintain the flow of the celebration and ensure your guests remain engaged and entertained.
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Frequently asked questions
Wedding speeches are traditionally given after the meal. However, some couples opt to have them during dinner or before the meal.
The father of the bride usually gives the first speech, followed by the groom's family, the maid of honour, and the best man.
The traditional order is the father of the bride, the groom's parents, the bride's parents, the maid of honour, and the best man. However, this can vary depending on the couple's preferences.
Wedding speeches should be kept short and sweet, ideally under five minutes, and closer to three minutes if possible.
A wedding speech should be heartfelt and include anecdotes, a welcome message, and words of wisdom for the couple. It is also an opportunity for the hosts and couple to thank their guests for attending.
