Junior Rasmussen
Wedding invitation wording can be a tricky task, especially if you're navigating a delicate situation, such as divorced or deceased parents, or the couple is hosting the wedding themselves. The good news is that the rules of wedding invitation etiquette are not that complicated and are there to serve as a guideline. The most important rule is to create a beautiful invitation that represents you, your love, and the big day while communicating vital details about the wedding.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Host Line | Names of the hosts of the event (traditionally the bride's parents) |
| Attendance Request | Request to attend, e.g. "pleasure of your company" |
| Names | Names of the couple |
| Date and Time | Date and time, traditionally spelled out in full |
| Location | Name and address of venue |
| Reception Details | "Reception to follow" or separate reception card with details |
| Dress Code | Optional, but helpful, e.g. "black-tie" |
What You'll Learn
Honouring a deceased parent
Wedding Invitations
When it comes to wedding invitations, there are a few ways to honour a deceased parent. One option is to include their name on the invitation, indicating that they are being remembered and honoured. For example, "Julia French, daughter of Mr. Adam French and the late Iris French, requests the honour of your presence at her wedding..." Another idea is to use a quote or poem that reminds you of your parent, either on the invitation itself or as part of the design.
Wedding Speeches
Incorporating memories of a deceased parent into a wedding speech is a popular choice. Here are some ideas to consider:
- Read a memorial poem, either one you have written yourself or a classic piece of poetry.
- Offer a toast to your loved one, perhaps with their favourite drink.
- Read a letter from your loved one or write a letter to them, expressing what their love meant to you and why you want them to be part of your wedding day.
- Hold a moment of silence to quietly reflect and honour their memory.
- Say a prayer or share a meaningful quote, song lyrics or a quote from a TV show.
Wedding Ceremony
The wedding ceremony provides an opportunity to include symbolic gestures to honour a deceased parent. Here are some suggestions:
- Leave a chair open at the front to represent their presence and their memory.
- Include a memorial candle lighting ritual, either as part of a unity candle tradition or by lighting a separate candle to represent your loved one.
- Write a message in the wedding program, such as a simple "In Loving Memory" tribute or a symbolic quote.
- Carry a memento with you, such as their cufflinks, handkerchief or an heirloom necklace.
- Speak to the officiant about including quotes, passages or other tributes to honour your loved one during the ceremony.
Wedding Reception
The reception is a great time to incorporate more personal touches to honour a deceased parent. Here are some ideas:
- Play their favourite song to start the party and keep their memory close.
- If you've lost a parent, consider dancing with a trusted loved one, such as an uncle, sibling or your mother, instead of the traditional parent-child dance.
- Create a commemorative presentation with slide shows, videos and memories of your loved one. Include photos, family photos and special moments you shared.
- Display family photos and heirlooms, such as using a late grandparent's desk to display flowers and framed photos.
- Play a special song that holds meaning, such as a song you used to sing together.
- Give wedding favours in their honour, such as cigars with a sign saying, "Take a cigar for Jim!"
These suggestions can help you feel the presence of a deceased parent on your wedding day and include them in a meaningful way.
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Divorced parents
Wedding Invitation Wording for Divorced Parents
If your parents are divorced, you may be unsure how to word your wedding invitations. Here are some guidelines and examples to help you navigate this delicate situation:
Etiquette Rules for Divorced Parents
- According to traditional etiquette, divorced parents' names should never appear on the same line, even if they are both unmarried.
- The mother's name is usually listed first, unless she is not contributing financially to the wedding, in which case the father's name goes first.
- It is acceptable to include step-parents, but traditionally, only the parents' names appear on the invitation.
Invitation Wording Examples
Both parents are divorced:
If you want to include both of your divorced parents on the invitation, list them on separate lines, without using "and" to connect their names. Here's an example:
> Dr. Vance and Elizabeth Gregory
> Mr. James Abner
> Lydia Abner
> Mr. Harold and Jane Hyland
> invite you to the wedding of their children Amy Abner and Charles Hyland
> 01.06.18 | 4 p.m.
> Our Lady Queen of Angels Catholic Church
> Newport, California
> Reception immediately after
Bride's parents are divorced:
If only the bride's parents are divorced, you can use similar wording, listing each parent on a separate line. Here's an example:
> Ms. Sarah Smith
> Mr. John Smith
> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter
> Michael Alan Timmons
Groom's parents are divorced:
Similarly, if only the groom's parents are divorced, you can list them separately:
> Mr. and Mrs. Yuval Brash
> Request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their son
> Andrew Isaac
> Saturday, the twenty-first of May
> Two thousand twenty-two
> At half after six o'clock
> Old Westbury Golf and Country Club
> Old Westbury, New York
> Black tie
Including step-parents:
If you want to include a step-parent, list them together with their spouse on the same line, followed by the other biological parent on a separate line. For example:
> Brandon and Amber Radcliffe
> request the honor of your presence
> at the marriage of Brandon’s daughter
> on Saturday, the tenth of November
> two thousand twenty-seven
> at two o'clock in the afternoon
> To add the bride's mother, or the groom's parents:
> Brandon and Amber Radcliffe
> along with Reyna Marie
> and John and Patricia Smith
> request the honor of your presence
> at the marriage of their children
> on Saturday, the tenth of November
> two thousand twenty-seven
> at two o'clock in the afternoon
Other Considerations
If one or both of your parents are deceased, you can still include their names as a way to honour them. For example:
> "Lauren Martinez, daughter of Marta Martinez and the late Robert Martinez..."
If you prefer not to mention your parents' names at all, you can simply write:
> "Together with their families, [bride's name] and [groom's name] request the pleasure of your company..."
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No children
When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, it's important to be tactful and gentle, especially when it comes to specifying that children are not invited to the event. Here are some tips and suggestions for how to communicate this on your wedding invitations:
Double Envelopes
Use double envelopes to indicate who is invited. This means you'll have an outer envelope addressed to the parents and an inner envelope addressed to all invited guests in the household. For example, the outer envelope can be addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith," while the inner envelope can be addressed using the first names of all invited guests, such as "John and Sarah."
Single Envelope
If you prefer to use a single envelope, address it only to the parents, such as "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith." You can even include their first names, like "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Sarah Smith." When using a single envelope, it's important to use formal names and addresses rather than informal ones.
RSVP Card
Another option is to add a line on your RSVP card that indicates the number of seats reserved for each household. For example, "Kindly reply by the twenty-third of May. We have reserved _ seat(s) in your honor."
Wedding Website
Creating a wedding website is an excellent way to communicate that your wedding is an adults-only affair. Include a website card with your invitation suite so that guests can refer to it for more detailed information about the event.
Addressing Envelopes
When addressing envelopes, be mindful of who you want to invite. If you're sending formal invitations with both an outer and inner envelope, list only the names of the invited adult guests on both envelopes. If using outer envelopes only, again, list only the names of the invited adults. You can also specify the invited guests on the response card.
Wording Suggestions
- "We request the pleasure of your company at our adults-only wedding."
- "You are cordially invited to our adult-only celebration."
- "Join us for an adults-only evening of dinner and dancing."
- "Kindly reply by [date]. We have reserved _ seat(s) in your honor."
Remember, it's important to be considerate and tactful when communicating that children are not invited to your wedding. Avoid using phrases like "no children" or "adults-only" directly on the invitation or response card, as this can come across as rude. Instead, use the suggestions above to gently convey your wishes.
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Couple hosting
If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, the host line can be omitted from the invitation. However, there are other ways to format the invitation to reflect this. Here are some examples of wording for wedding invitations where the couple is hosting:
Formal Wording
The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of
Michael Alan Timmons
&
Avery June Smith
Saturday, the eleventh of June, two thousand and twenty-three, at twelve o'clock in the afternoon
Arctic Club Hotel
700 Third Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Reception to follow
Informal Wording
Talia Flores and Stephen Byrne invite you to a celebration of their love and commitment
June 11, 2024, 12:00 pm
Arctic Club Hotel
700 Third Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Dinner and dancing to follow
Hybrid Wording
Talia Camila Flores & Stephen Anthony Byrne request the honour of your company at the celebration of their union
Saturday, the eleventh of June, two thousand and twenty-three, at twelve o'clock in the afternoon
Arctic Club Hotel
700 Third Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Reception to follow
Creative Wording
Good food, good drinks, good friends
Jack Smith & Mason Kim
Request you celebrate with them as they get hitched
Saturday, August 17, 2024, at 4:30 in the afternoon
[venue name and address]
Party to follow
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Both parents hosting
If both parents are hosting the wedding, the invitation should include the names of both sets of parents. The bride's parents' names are listed first, followed by the groom's parents' names. Here are some examples of how to word the invitation:
Formal Wording
If you're going for a formal feel, you can use the full names of the hosts and spell out the date and time. Here's an example:
> Mr. and Mrs. Aaron Wong and Mr. and Mrs. Adam Hollis request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children Olivia Rose and John Michael on Saturday, the seventeenth of August two thousand twenty-four at half after four in the afternoon at [venue name and address]. Reception to follow.
Informal Wording
For a more informal invitation, you can use first names and write out the date and time numerically. Here's an example:
> Aaron and Alisha Wong, together with Adam and Beatrice Hollis, invite you to share in the joy of their children's wedding, Olivia Rose and John Michael, on Saturday, August 17, 2024, at 4:30 p.m. at [venue name and address]. Dinner and dancing to follow.
Honoring Deceased Parents
If you want to honour a deceased parent, you can include their name alongside the couple's name. Here's an example:
> Mr. and Mrs. Aaron Wong, and the late Mrs. Beatrice Hollis, request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children Olivia Rose and John Michael...
Divorced Parents
If the bride or groom has divorced parents, list the mother's name first, followed by the father's name on a separate line. Here's an example:
> Ms. Sarah Smith and Mr. John Smith, together with Mr. and Mrs. Adam Hollis, request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children Olivia Rose and John Michael...
Creative Wording
Feel free to get creative with your invitation wording while still including the essential information. Here's an example:
> Kenzie and Jennifer Smith and Mark and Sally Reyes can't wait to celebrate with you at the marriage of their children Olivia Rose and John Michael. Join us on the dance floor on Saturday, August 17, 2024, at 4:30 p.m. at [venue name and address]. Merriment to follow!
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Frequently asked questions
The standard format includes the host line, attendance request, the couple's names, date and time, location, and reception details.
In this case, you can omit the host line or start with a warm introduction, such as "Together with full hearts" or "With hearts full of love and joy."
If the parents are divorced, list their names separately on different lines without using "and" to connect them. For example: "Ms. Sarah Smith / Mr. John Smith."
You can include the deceased parent's name alongside the couple's names. For example: "Lauren Martinez, daughter of Marta Martinez and the late Robert Martinez."
Traditionally, the bride's name precedes the groom's name. For same-sex couples, you can list the names alphabetically or based on what sounds better.
