Wedding Guest List Woes: More Guests, Less Space

Deciding on the number of guests to invite to a wedding can be a tricky affair. There are many factors to consider, from budget and venue capacity to family dynamics and plus-ones. While some couples opt for an intimate elopement or micro-wedding with only a few guests, others dream of a grand celebration with all their friends, family, and acquaintances. Deciding on the guest list can be a source of conflict, with the couple, their parents, and in-laws all having different preferences and expectations. It is essential to set a clear criteria for guest invitations and be mindful of the costs and logistics involved in accommodating a larger group.

Budgeting for extra guests

Understand the Impact of Guest Count:

The number of guests you invite significantly impacts your budget. Each additional guest means more expenses for food, drinks, stationery, favours, and rentals. Consider the per-head cost when deciding on the guest list, as a larger guest count will quickly drive up costs.

Prioritize Your Spending:

Not all aspects of a wedding are equally important to every couple. Identify your must-haves and allocate funds accordingly. For instance, if having a live band is a priority, you may need to cut back on expenses elsewhere, such as opting for simpler decorations or choosing a less expensive venue.

Be Flexible with Your Venue:

The venue is typically one of the largest expenses in a wedding budget. If you want to accommodate more guests, consider choosing a venue that offers more space without a significant price increase. Look for venues that provide flexible packages or those that don't enforce strict minimums.

Research Catering Options:

Catering is another significant expense, usually costing around 29% of the average wedding budget. When planning for extra guests, research catering options that offer a good value without sacrificing quality. Consider buffet-style dining or family-style platters, which can be more cost-effective than plated meals.

Allocate a Buffer:

It is always a good idea to have a buffer in your budget to account for unexpected costs. Set aside around 5-15% of your total budget for unforeseen expenses, such as last-minute rentals or additional décor. This buffer will give you peace of mind and help you accommodate extra guests without straining your finances.

Consider DIY Options:

If you're crafty, consider creating some wedding elements yourself. DIY projects can help you save money and add a personal touch to your big day. For example, you could design and print your own invitations or create your own centrepieces and decorations. Just be sure to give yourself enough time to complete these projects without added stress.

Be Mindful of Hidden Costs:

When budgeting for extra guests, don't forget to account for hidden costs that may arise. These can include things like postage for invitations and thank-you cards, transportation for guests, and gratuities for vendors. Build these costs into your budget to avoid unpleasant surprises.

Planning a wedding with extra guests doesn't have to break the bank. By being mindful of costs, prioritizing your spending, and getting creative, you can accommodate your desired guest list while staying within a realistic budget.

Venue capacity

When deciding on your guest list, one of the first things to consider is your venue. The venue's capacity will determine the maximum number of guests you can invite. It's important to remember that your venue should not only accommodate your guests comfortably but also allow for a smooth flow of activities. Here are some tips to consider regarding venue capacity:

• Determine your venue's capacity: Before finalising your guest list, find out the maximum capacity of your venue. This information is crucial in understanding how many people the space can comfortably hold. Remember to consider not just the size of the venue but also the layout and any necessary space for activities, entertainment, and catering.
• Consider your budget: The cost of the venue and catering are significant factors in determining your guest list. A larger venue and increased catering costs for a more substantial guest list can quickly add up. Therefore, it's essential to set a clear budget and stick to it.
• Understand the dynamics: Think about the dynamics of your guest list. For example, if you are inviting many families with children, ensure that your venue has the capacity and amenities to accommodate them. Similarly, if you plan to have a dance floor, ensure that there is enough space for your guests to move around comfortably.
• Be mindful of fire regulations: When considering venue capacity, always abide by the local fire regulations and safety guidelines. These regulations will outline the maximum number of people allowed in the space to ensure a safe environment for your guests.
• Discuss with your venue coordinator: If you're unsure about the venue's capacity or how to best utilise the space, speak to your venue coordinator. They will have experience in managing events and will be able to guide you in making the most of the venue while adhering to safety regulations.
• Consider a venue change: If your guest list exceeds the capacity of your dream venue, consider alternative options. You could look for a larger venue that suits your style or even think about an outdoor wedding if the weather permits. Changing venues can be a tough decision, but it may be necessary to accommodate all your desired guests.

Remember, the venue capacity is a crucial aspect of your wedding planning. It will significantly influence the overall atmosphere and enjoyment of your special day, so it's essential to choose a venue that can comfortably accommodate your guest list.

Deciding on a fair split between families

Be Open and Honest

It's important to communicate your concerns with your partner and be open to finding a solution together. If you're worried about feeling like a stranger at your own wedding because of a lopsided guest list, express that. It's also a good idea to loop your parents into the conversation early on and show them your plan, allowing them to air any concerns respectfully.

Consider Financial Contributions

If everyone is contributing equally, or the couple is footing the entire bill, it's generally considered fair for everyone to invite a similar number of guests. If one family is paying for the majority of the wedding, they should have more influence over the guest list. However, this doesn't mean they get to take over – it's still the couple's day. If the couple is accepting money from others, those contributing get to have a say in how the money is spent and who attends.

Make a Rough Count ASAP

Deciding on a guest count early on is important as it will help you determine your budget and select a venue. It can also help you avoid serious conflict during wedding preparations.

Be Picky

Remember, weddings are expensive, and every guest adds to the cost. Instead of stressing about dividing your guest list perfectly in half, focus on inviting the people who mean the most to you. It's more important that both partners feel comfortable with the guest list and overall number of guests.

Treat Both Families Equally

Even if you're not close with your extended family, it's a good idea to treat both families equally. For example, if you invite one aunt, consider including all aunts and uncles. This can help keep tensions at bay.

Set Rules

If there is a significant difference in guest lists, consider setting up "rules" that make sense for both partners. For example, a rule could be that all guests have met both partners and know them well, or that you only invite people that one of you has a close relationship with. This ensures that everyone invited is a big part of your life.

Be Flexible

There's no hard and fast rule that says you have to divide the guest list equally. Ask both sets of parents for their ideal guest list, then discuss it as a couple. If one set of parents only has 35 people they want to invite and the other has 50, and that works for your budget, then send out those invites.

Focus on Happy Memories

Remember, your wedding day is about celebrating your love and merging two families. Focus on making happy memories no matter who is invited, and put all differences aside during any wedding festivities.

Plus-ones for single guests

Deciding on a guest list for your wedding can be a tricky task, especially when it comes to plus-ones for single guests. Here are some tips and guidelines to help you navigate this aspect of your wedding planning:

Who Gets a Plus-One?

Firstly, it's important to note that not every guest needs to be offered a plus-one. Traditionally, plus-ones are offered to guests who are married, engaged, or cohabiting. It is also common to offer plus-ones to members of the bridal party, as a token of appreciation for their time and support. If your budget and venue capacity allow, you may want to consider offering plus-ones to single guests who won't know many other attendees, especially those travelling from out of town.

Who Doesn't Get a Plus-One?

Single guests who will know other guests and feel comfortable attending alone may not need a plus-one. If a guest is casually dating or has a new partner every few months, a plus-one is not necessary. You can decide later if you want to allow a plus-one when sending out invitations, in case they are in a serious relationship by then.

Invitation Wording

When addressing invitations, be clear about whether a plus-one is offered. For single guests with a plus-one, the envelope can be addressed to "Mr. James R. Smith and guest". For unmarried couples living together, address both names on the outer and inner envelope. If they live separately, each person should receive their own invitation, with the other's name included inside. If you are unsure of the relationship status, use "and guest" or "invited guest" to keep it open.

Practical Considerations

When offering plus-ones, be mindful of the additional costs that may be incurred, such as food, drinks, and venue setup fees. It is important to track plus-ones accurately to stay within your budget. Ask for the name of the plus-one on the RSVP to help with seating arrangements and to avoid surprises on the day.

Dealing with Guest Requests

Be prepared for guests to ask about bringing a plus-one, even if they haven't been offered one. Have a kind and consistent response ready, such as explaining your budget restrictions. You can also suggest that you will check with your planner or venue to see what is allowed, giving you time to discuss it with your partner.

Seating Arrangements

When creating a seating plan, be mindful of the dynamics between couples and single guests. Avoid seating singles next to couples, as this can be awkward. Instead, place them between friendly, outgoing couples to create a communal feel and help them meet people.

Remember, there are no hard and fast rules, and every wedding is unique. Use your discretion and consider your budget and venue capacity when deciding on plus-ones for single guests.

Dealing with B-list guests

Creating a B-list for your wedding is a tricky business. It can be a great way to include more people in your special day, but it needs to be handled sensitively. Here are some tips for dealing with B-list guests:

Make B-List Decisions Early

If you think you will need an A-list and a B-list, decide this as soon as possible. This will give you time to work out who is on each list and how you will handle the invitations and RSVPs.

Organise Intentionally

Create a priority order for your B-list. Put those who are important to you but didn't quite make the A-list at the top, and those who are more distant at the bottom. That way, if you only have a few spaces, you can invite the people at the top of the list.

Make a Separate List for Family and Close Friends

To avoid any awkwardness, consider making a separate B-list for family and close friends. That way, if they compare notes and realise they were on the B-list, it's less likely to cause offence.

Send Invitations Early

Traditionally, invitations are sent out 6-8 weeks before the wedding, with an RSVP deadline of around 3 weeks. However, if you are sending B-list invites, you will need to send your A-list invites earlier, around 12 weeks in advance. That way, you will have time to send B-list invites before the RSVP deadline.

Have Two Sets of RSVP Cards

To make the process smoother, have two sets of RSVP cards with different deadlines. The first set, for the A-list, should have an RSVP deadline of around 8 weeks before the wedding. The second set, for the B-list, should have a deadline of around 3 weeks before, which is still within traditional etiquette.

Mail B-List Invites Together

Choose a deadline date for adding B-list guests and mail all the invitations on the same day. This will help you keep track and ensure invites arrive in a timely manner.

Be Honest

If a guest finds out they were on your B-list, it's best to be honest. Explain that you had a restricted guest list and needed to stagger the invitations. Most people will understand the challenges of wedding planning and will be happy to celebrate with you.

Frequently asked questions