Wedding Envelope Etiquette: What To Write And How To Format

There are a lot of things to consider when addressing wedding invitation envelopes, from the guests' titles and surnames to the number of envelopes used. The outer envelope is what is stamped and addressed, while the inner envelope only has the names of the invitees and contains the invitation inside. Traditionally, the outer envelope is formal, with the recipient's full name and title, while the inner envelope is more informal, with just the first name or title and last name.

When addressing a married couple with the same last name, it is traditional to write out the man's full name with Mr. and Mrs. included, but you can also include both first names. For couples with different last names, simply write out their full names with their respective titles. The same format applies to same-sex couples. For unmarried couples, list both names on one or two lines, with the appropriate titles, starting with the person you are closest to.

When addressing a single person, use the proper prefix (Mr., Ms., or Mx.) with their full name. For a single person with a plus one, include the name of the guest or and guest if you don't know their name. For a family with children, list the parents' names on the outer envelope and the children's names on the inner envelope. Children under 18 can be addressed as Miss for girls and Mr. for boys over 16.

It is proper etiquette to address guests with distinguished titles, such as doctors, lawyers, judges, or military personnel, by their title on the invitation envelope. If both guests have special titles, list their names alphabetically or with the higher-ranking title first.

Married couples with the same last name

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with the same last name, there are a few etiquette rules to follow. Here are some detailed guidelines to ensure your envelopes are correctly addressed:

Outer Envelope:

For a heterosexual couple, the traditional way to address the outer envelope is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For example: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". If you are inviting a same-sex couple, either name can go first.

If the couple is sensitive to modern gender norms and would prefer the wife's name to be included, you can address the envelope as: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren".

Inner Envelope:

For the inner envelope, you have a few options. You can use "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the couple's shared last name or first names. For example: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle".

If the wife's name was included on the outer envelope, you can simply use their first names for the inner envelope: "Thomas and Michelle".

Format and Titles:

When addressing the envelopes, it is recommended to write out the names in full, avoiding any abbreviations or initials. For a formal wedding, using appropriate titles (Mr., Mrs., Ms.) is always a good idea.

If the couple has children under the age of 18, they can be listed on a separate line below the parents' names, without titles or last names. For example: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren, Emma, James, and Stephen".

Contemporary Style:

While the above guidelines are traditional, you may prefer to use a more contemporary style. For a less formal approach, you could address the couple by their first names only, both on the outer and inner envelopes. For example: "Thomas and Michelle".

If you are close to the couple and know their preferences, you can also omit the titles and use their full names: "Thomas Warren and Michelle Warren".

Remember, the key is to be consistent and follow the same style for all your wedding invitations. Happy addressing!

Married couples with different last names

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with different last names, there are a few etiquette rules to keep in mind. Firstly, it is recommended to use the appropriate social titles such as Mr, Mrs, Ms, etc. The names of the couple should be written in full on the outer envelope, while only the given names are used on the inner envelope.

For a heterosexual married couple with different last names, the outer envelope should list their names on the same line, with the woman's name first. If their combined names are too long to fit on one line, you can list them separately. Here are some examples:

Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

If the couple is sensitive about the woman's name being left out or lumped in with her husband, you can include her first and last name as well:

Outer envelope: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

If the married couple is same-sex, either name can go first. For example:

Outer envelope: "Mr. Brian Jones and Mr. Ethan Miller"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Jones and Mr. Miller" or "Brian and Ethan"

When addressing a married couple with different last names, it is also important to consider the level of formality you wish to convey. A traditional or formal wedding invitation would use titles and full names, while a contemporary or casual wedding invitation might use only first names.

Traditional: "Mrs. Emma Johnson & Mr. Michael Brown"

Contemporary: "Emma Johnson & Michael Brown"

Single people

When addressing a wedding invitation envelope to a single person, it is important to use their preferred title. If you are unsure, it is best to leave out the title altogether. For invitations that include a plus-one, it is best to include the name of the guest, if you have that information. If you are unsure of the name of the plus-one, "and Guest" will suffice.

Example 1: Without a Plus-One

On the outer envelope: Ms. Ali Johnson

On the inner envelope: Ms. Johnson

Example 2: With a Plus-One

On the outer envelope: Mx. Sam Li

On the inner envelope: Sam Li and Guest

Example 3: Single Person with a Title

On the outer envelope: Doctor Jessica Nichols

On the inner envelope: Dr. Nichols

Example 4: Male Guest

On the outer envelope: Mr. Benjamin Clarke

On the inner envelope: Mr. Clarke or Benjamin

Example 5: Female Guest Under 18

On the outer envelope: Miss Sophie Westbourne or Sophie Westbourne

On the inner envelope: Sophie

Example 6: Female Guest Over 18

On the outer envelope: Ms. Sophie Westbourne

On the inner envelope: Ms. Westbourne or Sophie

Unmarried couples

When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, there are a few different options to consider. Firstly, it is important to use the appropriate titles and full names (given and surnames) on the envelope, while only using given names on the invitation itself. The traditional way to address an envelope to an unmarried couple is to write their names independently on two lines, leaving out the word "and". For example:

Mr. R. Stuart Holden

Ms. Kara Morgan

However, some people now prefer to use "and" for any committed union, or an ampersand (&). In this case, the names should be written on the same line, in alphabetical order by surname. For example:

Ms. Kara Morgan & Mr. Ed Parsons

If you are addressing an unmarried couple with the same address, but who are not romantically involved (such as roommates), they should each receive their own invitation.

It is worth noting that the contemporary style for addressing envelopes may suit you better than the traditional style. A more modern way to address an envelope to an unmarried couple could be:

Ed & Kara

Ben & Sophie

Families

When addressing wedding invitations to families, there are a few different options to consider. Firstly, it's important to note that the outer envelope is the one that is stamped and addressed, while the inner envelope only contains the names of the invitees. The inner envelope is optional and can be omitted if preferred. Here are some guidelines for addressing wedding invitations to families:

For families with children under the age of 18, the traditional way to address the outer envelope is to include the names of the parents and list the children's names separately on the inner envelope. Here's an example:

Outer envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham

Inner envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly

If you prefer a more contemporary style, you can simply address the envelope to the whole family.

Outer envelope: The Abraham Family

When inviting families with children over the age of 18, it is recommended that each family member receives their own invitation, unless they live at home with their parents. In this case, the outer envelope would be addressed to the individual, and the inner envelope would include their name.

Outer envelope: Ms. Audrey Abraham

Inner envelope: Ms. Abraham

Same-Sex Families:

The same guidelines apply when addressing wedding invitations to same-sex families. For families with children under 18, include the names of both parents on the outer envelope and list the children's names on the inner envelope.

Outer envelope: Mrs. Jackie White and Mrs. Cara White

Inner envelope: Mrs. Jackie White and Mrs. Cara White, Danielle, Mr. Gabriel

For same-sex families with children over 18, each family member over 18 would receive their own invitation.

Outer envelope: Ms. Danielle White

Inner envelope: Ms. Danielle White

Remember to use the appropriate titles (Mr., Mrs., Ms., etc.) based on the marital status and age of the guests. The names on the outer envelope should be written in full, while only the given names are used on the inner envelope.

Frequently asked questions