Writing your own wedding vows is a tremendous undertaking. You might feel the pressure to perfectly and authentically capture your love, hopes, and promises. While some choose to utter traditional vows based on their religion or culture, others decide to write personalized messages to their future spouse.
Desiring God is a Christian organisation that provides resources to guide people towards everlasting joy in Jesus Christ. They have a few articles that offer advice on writing wedding vows. One article, titled The Best Sermon for Marriage: Seven Lessons for Lasting Love, highlights the importance of wedding vows:
> “Wedding vows,” Tim Keller reminds us, “are not a declaration of present love but a mutually binding promise of future love” [...] Being yours might cost me more than I ever thought I could give — more than I can now imagine — but I promise to never leave you. Vows tie the future fragility and difficulty of marriage into the very beauty of the ceremony.
The article also emphasises the importance of building a marriage on the rock of obedience to Jesus.
Another article, titled On My Wedding Day, offers 17 dreams for a marriage, which could be a source of inspiration for writing wedding vows. These include enjoying God more than anyone or anything else, praying together, raising joyful and godly children, and developing a healthy and pure sex life.
- Start writing your vows well in advance.
- Discuss your expectations with your partner, including the length of your vows, when you'll recite them, and how personal you want to make them.
- Begin by jotting down all of your thoughts about your partner and relationship.
- Write no more than three drafts to avoid overthinking.
- Include only the most important details.
- Avoid using absolute words like always and never.
- Embrace sentimentality.
- Seek inspiration from pop culture, such as movies, TV shows, books, and songs.
- Make a fresh copy of your vows for the ceremony.
- Keep your vows in a safe place until the big day.
- Practice reciting your vows aloud.
- Indicate pauses and intonation in your vows.
- Ask a trusted friend to listen to your vows and give feedback.
Remember, your wedding vows should be meaningful, intimate, and compelling. They should reflect your relationship and capture your intentions for the future.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Love | "I love you" |
Support | "I will be there for you through good times and bad" |
Personal stories | "Recounting romantic stories about how you knew your significant other was 'the one'" |
Promises | "I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad" |
Acknowledgement | "Acknowledge the role that your loved ones have played in enhancing your relationship" |
What You'll Learn
How to write religious wedding vows
Writing religious wedding vows is a highly personal experience, but there are some general guidelines to follow. Firstly, it is important to consult religious officials and texts to ensure your vows are theologically appropriate. For example, traditional Christian vows often include phrases such as "to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.
When writing your vows, it is important to keep your faith in mind and to quote Bible verses if possible. You may also wish to include personal stories and anecdotes, and concrete promises that are meaningful to you and your partner. For instance, you could vow to "be the one to kill spiders" or "to pray together".
> "I, _____, take you, _____, to be my wedded wife/husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness."
> "I, _______, take you, _______, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law, in the presence of God I make this vow."
> "I, _____, take you, _____, to be my partner, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. And I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the [man/woman] you will become, and falling in love a little more every day. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us."
> "I, _____, take you, with all your faults and strengths, as I offer myself to you with all my faults and strengths. And I will help you when you need help and turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life."
Remember, your vows should be meaningful to you and your partner, so feel free to personalise them as much as you like!
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How to write funny wedding vows
While there is no specific advice from Desiring God on how to write funny wedding vows, here are some tips and examples from other sources.
Tips for Writing Funny Wedding Vows
- Keep it light and simple. This is a moment of declaring your love for your partner, not auditioning for a sitcom.
- Avoid references that only you and your partner will understand. You want your guests to laugh with you, not sit in silence as your joke falls flat.
- Avoid inside jokes, old relationships, fights, and anything about your sex life.
- Focus on what you and your partner have in common, such as quirks, tastes, and hobbies.
- Go for more unique qualities. For example, instead of saying, "We love watching movies", say something like, "I can't wait to watch Mean Girls with you for the 800th time".
- Talk about what you love to do that drives your partner a bit crazy, and vice versa.
- The more familiar your guests are with your quirks, the better. It's much easier for everyone to laugh when they're in on the joke!
Examples of Funny Wedding Vows
- "I promise to make you a bacon sandwich when you’re hungover."
- "I promise to never watch the next episode on Netflix without you, no matter how much I want to."
- "I promise to always support your dreams, even the one about [insert far-fetched dream]."
- "I promise to always get rid of the spiders, even though I’m more scared than you."
- "I promise to love you, honor you, but not obey because that’s a little creepy."
- "I promise to always wash up when you cook the dinner."
- "I promise to love you through Ikea, be it during the buying or assembly of furniture procured therein."
- "I promise to love and honor during the offseason."
- "I vow to laugh, for real, at your every joke no matter how stupid or poorly told. I love you that much."
- "I promise to love you even as you scroll endlessly through Netflix without actually picking something to watch."
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How to write romantic wedding vows
Writing romantic wedding vows is a challenging but rewarding task. Here are some tips and suggestions to help you craft meaningful and heartfelt vows for your special day:
Tips for Writing Romantic Wedding Vows:
- Express Your Love: Don't forget to say "I love you" in your vows. This may seem obvious, but it's easy to get caught up in the moment and forget to express your love directly.
- Reaffirm Your Support: Let your partner know that you will stand by them through good times and bad. Marriage has its peaks and valleys, and communicating your commitment to navigate those ups and downs together is essential.
- Share Personal Stories: Include romantic, funny, or inspiring narratives about your relationship. Recount how you knew your partner was "the one," or share a story about overcoming a challenging time together. These personal touches will make your vows more engaging and meaningful for your guests and your partner.
- Make Real Promises: In addition to sharing anecdotes, make concrete promises that reflect your intentions for the future. For example, you can vow to always be there for your partner or to support them in their pursuits.
- Acknowledge and Request Support from Loved Ones: Recognize the role that your friends and family have played in your relationship, and call on them to continue offering their love and support as you embark on married life.
Examples of Romantic Wedding Vows:
- "I love you, [Partner's Name], as I love no other. All that I am, I share with you. I take you to be my husband/wife through health and sickness, through plenty and want, through joy and sorrow, now and forever."
- "I, [Name], take you, [Partner's Name], to be my partner, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. And I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the person you will become, and falling in love a little more every day. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us."
- "I, [Name], take you, [Partner's Name], to be my wife/husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life."
- "I, [Name], take you, [Partner's Name], to be my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part, according to God's holy law, in the presence of God, I make this vow."
- "I give you this ring, wear it with love and joy. I choose you to be my husband/wife: to have and to hold, from this day forward."
- "I, [Name], take you, [Partner's Name], with all your faults and strengths, as I offer myself to you with all my faults and strengths. And I will help you when you need help and turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life."
Remember, your wedding vows should reflect your personality and the unique dynamics of your relationship. Be authentic, speak from the heart, and don't be afraid to infuse your vows with humor or sentimentality. Happy writing!
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How to write simple wedding vows
Writing your own wedding vows is a tremendous undertaking. Here are some tips to help you write simple wedding vows:
Start with a Template
While traditional wedding vows follow a specific structure, your handwritten promises can take any format and include any content you see fit. Here is a basic template to follow:
- Express your love: This seems like a no-brainer, but many couples forget to mention these three powerful words. Whether you start or end your pledge with the sentiment, make sure you utter "I love you" at some point.
- Reaffirm your unwavering support: Most wedding vows touch on standing by one another's side, through good times and bad. It's nice to communicate your intent to get through challenging periods together.
- Share personal stories: Recounting romantic stories about how you knew your significant other was "the one" will make your ceremony more interesting and moving for everyone in attendance.
- Include real promises: Vows are a serious, lifelong commitment. Make sure to share concrete promises that you'll continuously uphold throughout your marriage.
- Acknowledge and request additional support: Call on your loved ones for additional assistance in the future, and acknowledge the role they have played in enhancing your relationship.
Tips for Writing Your Vows
- Start well in advance: Keep your personalized wedding vows in mind throughout your wedding planning journey. Make sure you have a final copy at least three weeks before your big day.
- Discuss your expectations: Before writing your wedding vows, consult your partner to ensure you are on the same page regarding length, tone, and how personal you intend to make them.
- Jot your thoughts down: To jumpstart the writing process, start by jotting down all of your thoughts about your partner and relationship.
- Write no more than three drafts: Continuously workshopping your wedding vows will only lead to overthinking. Take a few days or even a week between edits to revisit your words with more clarity.
- Add only the important details: Pick the most important details, such as the first time you met or when you said "I love you."
- Avoid absolute words: When making promises, avoid using absolute words like "always" and "never."
- Embrace sentimentality: There's no better time to be sentimental than your vow exchange. If the message feels true to you, don't worry about coming across as corny.
Examples of Simple Wedding Vows
- "I call you 'My Megan' because you are my everything. You are my light, and you've shown me more love than I've ever known."
- "I, Daniela, take you, Megan, to be my wife, my best friend, and partner. I will work to create a bond of honesty, respect, acceptance, and gratitude; one that withstands the tides of time and changes and grows along with us."
- "I take you to be my partner for life. I promise, above all else, to live in truth with you and to communicate fully and fearlessly. I give you my hand and my heart as a sanctuary of warmth and peace and pledge my love, devotion, faith, and honor as I join my life to yours."
- "You are my lover and my teacher, you are my model and my accomplice, and you are my true counterpart. I will love you, hold you, and honor you. I will respect you, encourage you, and cherish you, in health and sickness, through sorrow and success, for all the days of my life."
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How to write non-religious wedding vows
Writing your own wedding vows is a tremendous undertaking, but it allows you to create promises that resonate with you and your partner. Here is a guide on how to write non-religious wedding vows:
Start with a Template
While non-religious wedding vows can take on any format, it is helpful to follow a template to get started. Here is a basic template that you can use:
- Express your love: Don't forget to mention these three powerful words - "I love you".
- Reaffirm your unwavering support: Commit to standing by your partner's side through good times and bad.
- Share personal stories: Recount romantic stories, funny narratives, or inspiring narratives that make your ceremony more interesting and moving.
- Include real promises: Make concrete promises that you'll uphold throughout your marriage. These pledges can be lighthearted, such as vowing to kill spiders whenever they creep into your home.
- Acknowledge and request additional support: Call on your friends and family for their love and support throughout your marriage.
Tips for Writing Your Vows
- Start well in advance: Keep your personalized wedding vows in mind throughout the wedding planning process, and make sure to have a final copy at least three weeks before your big day.
- Discuss your expectations: Consult with your partner about your expectations for the length, tone, and level of personalization of your vows.
- Jot down your thoughts: Start by writing down all your thoughts about your partner and relationship. Highlight your favorite items and use them in the final copy.
- Write no more than three drafts: Continuously editing your vows will only lead to overthinking and losing sight of the bigger picture.
- Add only the important details: Pick the most important details to include, such as the first time you met or the first time you said "I love you".
- Avoid absolute words: When making promises, avoid using absolute words like "always" and "never," as they are impossible to live up to.
- Embrace sentimentality: Don't worry about coming across as corny if the message feels true to you.
- Seek inspiration from pop culture: Movies, TV shows, books, and songs are great sources of inspiration for your vows.
- Make a fresh copy for the ceremony: Print a fresh copy or write your vows in a vow booklet, as your guests will be able to see the medium you are reading from.
- Stash them in a safe place: Keep the physical copy of your vows in a secret spot to make the ceremony more impactful and emotional.
Examples of Non-Religious Wedding Vows
"I, [name], take you, [name], to be my partner, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. And I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the person you will become, and falling in love a little more every day. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us."
"I, [name], take you, [name], with all your faults and strengths, as I offer myself to you with all my faults and strengths. And I will help you when you need help and turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life."
"I give you this ring, wear it with love and joy. I choose you to be my husband: to have and to hold, from this day forward."
"I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law, in the presence of God I make this vow."
"I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness."
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Frequently asked questions
When writing your wedding vows, it's important to keep your faith in mind, quote Bible verses, and speak from your heart. You should also practice reciting your vows to ensure you can speak clearly on the day.
"I, _____, take you, ______, to be my wedded wife/husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness."
"I, _______, take you, _______, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law, in the presence of God I make this vow."
"I promise to get out of bed and make you coffee in the morning before you wake up. I promise to bring you flowers for no particular reason other than it’s Tuesday. I promise to flirt with you and remind you of how unbelievably attractive you are."