Planning Your Big Day: First Steps And Conversations

First dates can be nerve-wracking, especially if you're meeting a prospective life partner. To help you get through it, it's a good idea to choose a comfortable location, dress to impress, and prepare some conversation topics in advance. While it's normal to feel nervous, you can ease into the date with some casual, contextual conversation. Ask them about their day, their hobbies, their job, their ambitions, and their favourite things. You can also talk about your own experiences and be open and vulnerable to encourage your date to do the same. If you're feeling a spark, you can ask some deeper questions about their values and goals. Remember to maintain eye contact, be yourself, and be honest.

Ask open-ended questions

Open-ended questions are a great way to get to know your date and encourage them to share more about themselves. They can also help you gauge your compatibility and keep the conversation flowing. Here are some examples of open-ended questions to ask on a first date:

Ask about their typical day

Instead of asking "What do you do?", inquire about their daily routine. This will give you a more holistic view of their life, including their work, hobbies, and how they spend their free time. You'll likely learn about their job anyway, but this question allows for a more natural and robust conversation.

Talk about travel

Discussing travel is a great way to get to know someone. Ask about their favourite places to visit, their dream destinations, or the most interesting trip they've taken. This can lead to conversations about their interests, cultural experiences, and even their family if they mention travelling to visit relatives.

Discuss food and dining habits

Food is a fun and easy topic to discuss on a first date. You can ask about their favourite meals, guilty pleasure foods, or the best thing they've ever eaten. If you're on a dinner date, you can also inquire about their dining habits, such as whether they prefer to try new things or stick to familiar options on a menu.

Explore their hobbies and passions

Ask about any personal passion projects they're working on. This shows interest in their life outside of work and allows them to discuss something they're excited about. You can also ask about their dream job as a kid, giving insight into their childhood aspirations and interests.

Learn about their support system

Understanding your date's support system and the people they hold dear can give you insight into their values and the type of relationships they cultivate. Ask about their best friend or closest friends, and how they met. You can also inquire about their family and their relationship with their parents or siblings.

Uncover their interests and entertainment preferences

Discuss your favourite movies, TV shows, books, or podcasts. This can lead to conversations about shared interests and allow you to learn about each other's tastes. You can also ask about their celebrity crush or favourite musician, giving insight into who they admire.

Remember, the key to successful open-ended questions is to create a safe and playful space for your date to share more about themselves. Be curious, attentive, and respectful, and avoid interrogating or judging. These questions should flow naturally and lead to engaging conversations that help you determine if you'd like to pursue a second date!

Talk about family and friends

Talking about family and friends on a first date can be a great way to get to know someone better and form a deeper connection. Here are some tips and questions to help guide the conversation:

Start with Simple Questions

Begin with some basic questions about their family, such as who all are in their family, what they do, and where they live. This can give you insight into their family dynamics and how they grew up. For example, you can ask: "Tell me about your family. Who are the important people in your life?"

Discuss Childhood and Upbringing

Ask about their childhood and upbringing. Were they shy, the class clown, or nerdy? This can lead to interesting stories and insights into their personality. You can also inquire about their childhood nicknames, as these often come with fun anecdotes. Understanding their childhood experiences can give you a glimpse into the person they are today.

Explore Family Life and Memorable Moments

Encourage them to share memorable moments, experiences, or stories from their childhood or family life. Even if they share negative stories, you can show empathy and curiosity by asking how they dealt with those challenges. This demonstrates your ability to listen and support them.

Understand Their Support System

Inquire about their support system beyond their family, such as their friends or other meaningful connections. This shows your interest in the people who are important to them and how they navigate their relationships. Ask about the people they turn to for advice, comfort, or simply to have a good time.

Discuss Future Family Plans

If appropriate, you can explore their thoughts on family and their plans for the future. For example, you can ask if they see themselves having children someday. This can give you insight into their long-term goals and help you understand if your values align.

Remember, when talking about family and friends, it's important to be respectful, curious, and empathetic. Allow your date to share as much or as little as they feel comfortable with, and be mindful of any sensitive topics that may arise. The key is to create a safe and welcoming space for honest and engaging conversation.

Discuss favourite things

So, you've got a wedding date coming up and you want to make sure you've got plenty to talk about. It's natural to feel nervous, but there's no need to worry. Here are some ideas to get you started, with a focus on discussing your favourite things.

Ask about their hobbies

Asking about their hobbies and interests is a great way to get to know someone. Do they have any hobbies they've recently started? What do they like to do on their days off? What are their passions and what makes them who they are? These questions will give you an insight into their personality and help you discover shared interests.

Discuss your favourite things

A great way to get to know someone is to ask about their favourite things. You could ask about their favourite food, movie, TV show, book, musician, or band. You could also ask about their favourite travel destination or their dream holiday. These topics will give you both plenty to talk about and will help you learn more about each other's tastes and preferences.

Talk about your bucket lists

Discussing your bucket lists is a fun way to learn about each other's aspirations and dreams. What are the things you want to achieve or experience in life? Do you have any big goals or adventures you're hoping to embark on? This conversation will give you an insight into each other's interests and priorities and could even lead to future plans and adventures together.

Play a game

Playing a game together is a fun and memorable way to get to know each other. Try playing "Two Truths and a Lie" where you each share two truths about yourself and one lie, and then guess which is which. This game will help you learn more about each other in a fun and engaging way.

Ask about their childhood

Talking about your childhood experiences and memories can help increase bonding and connection. You can ask about their family, siblings, pets, favourite memories, and interests growing up. These questions will give you a glimpse into their past and help you understand more about their life and who they are today.

Remember, the key to a great conversation is to be curious, open-minded, and attentive. Ask follow-up questions, share your own experiences, and create opportunities for meaningful connection and engagement. Enjoy your wedding date and happy chatting!

Talk about hobbies

Talking about hobbies is a great way to get to know someone and create a more meaningful connection. Here are some ideas for things to talk about when it comes to hobbies:

Ask About Their Current Hobbies

Ask your date about their current hobbies and what they like to do for fun. This can give you insight into their personality and help you find common interests. For example, if they enjoy outdoor activities, they might be adventurous. Or, if they like to curl up with a book, you might have found the other half of your bookworm self! Ask them questions like:

• What do you like to do for fun?
• What are your hobbies?
• What do you enjoy doing besides your job?

Learn About Their Past Hobbies

Discussing past hobbies can give you a glimpse into your date's life and interests. It can also be a fun way to learn more about them. Ask about any hobbies they've recently started or any activities they used to do. For example:

• What hobbies have you had in the past?
• Is there a hobby you've recently started?
• What other hobbies have you tried?

Understand Why They Chose Their Hobbies

Understanding why your date chose their hobbies can give you insight into their values and priorities. It can also be a way to learn about their future goals and plans. Ask questions like:

• Why did you choose this hobby?
• Do you see yourself continuing this hobby long-term?
• What's your favourite part of this hobby?

Discuss How Hobbies Fit Into Their Daily Life

Talking about how your date's hobbies fit into their daily or weekly routine can give you an idea of their time management and commitment. It can also help you understand their passions and priorities. Ask questions such as:

• How often do you engage in this hobby?
• What's your favourite thing to do on a day off?
• How do you balance your hobbies with other commitments?

Explore Future Hobbies and Interests

Discussing future hobbies and interests can give you insight into your date's aspirations and dreams. It can also be a fun way to bond and create a sense of excitement. Ask about their bucket list or any new hobbies they want to try. For example:

• What's on your bucket list?
• Are there any hobbies you want to try in the future?
• What new hobbies or activities are you interested in exploring?

Remember to listen attentively, ask follow-up questions, and share your own experiences to create a meaningful conversation and deeper connection.

Discuss future plans

Discussing future plans and ambitions is a great way to get to know someone on a first date. It can lead to interesting conversations and show that you are interested in your date's goals. Here are some tips and topics to help guide your discussion:

Ask About Their Short-Term and Long-Term Goals

Ask your date about their short-term and long-term plans. For example, you could inquire about their career aspirations, such as if they are passionate about starting their own business or pursuing a particular profession. This can help you understand their motivations and what they value in life.

Explore Their Vision for the Future

Inquire about their ideal future and the steps they are taking to achieve it. For instance, if they want to move to another city or country, ask them where they would like to go and what is currently holding them back. This can lead to a discussion about their priorities, dreams, and any challenges they may be facing.

Discuss Dealbreakers

While it is important to keep the conversation light and fun, addressing any potential dealbreakers early on can save both of you time and heartache. For example, if you know that you want to have children someday and your date is firmly against that idea, it may be difficult to continue the relationship. Being open and honest about your future plans and expectations can help determine if you are compatible and on the same page.

Talk About Travel Plans

Discussing travel plans and experiences can be a fun and engaging way to connect with your date. Ask them about their favourite trips, dream destinations, and any adventures they have been on. This can lead to conversations about their interests, values, and how they like to spend their time. It can also give you insight into their cultural background and openness to new experiences.

Ask About Their Hobbies and Interests

Understanding how your date spends their time and what they are passionate about can give you a glimpse into their personality and what makes them unique. Ask them about their hobbies and interests, and how they see these fitting into their future plans. For example, if they are an avid rock climber, ask them if they plan to continue this hobby and perhaps even compete in the future.

Be Open About Your Own Future Plans

While it is essential to ask your date about their future plans, it is also beneficial to share your own. Being open and honest about your ambitions, goals, and dreams can help your date understand you better and create a deeper connection. Discuss your short-term and long-term plans, and how you see your life unfolding. This will not only give your date insight into your life but also show that you are thoughtful and passionate about your future.

Remember, the key to a great first-date conversation is to be curious, ask thoughtful questions, and listen actively. Enjoy getting to know your date and good luck!

Frequently asked questions