Franklin Dean
Pakistani weddings are known for their extravagance, colour and joyous celebration. They are a source of great festivity and entertainment, with many customs and rituals. A typical Pakistani wedding consists of two main events: the Nikkah, or Nikah, and the Walima, or Valima. The Nikkah is the official marriage contract, signed by both the bride and groom in the presence of close family members and witnesses. This is followed by the Walima, a reception hosted by the newly married couple, where they are greeted with goodwill, food and juices. The reception is also when the groom's family hosts a grand feast for all guests.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Number of events | 2 main events: the Nikah and Walima/Valima. However, there are other rituals that can take place on separate days, such as Mehndi, Baraat and Mayon. |
| Nikah | The official marriage contract, signed by both the bride and groom in the presence of close family members and two witnesses from both sides. |
| Walima/Valima | The formal reception hosted by the husband and wife, where guests from both sides are invited to a grand feast. |
| Baraat | The groom's wedding procession, where he arrives with his family and friends dancing to loud music. The bride's family hosts this event. |
| Mayon | Preceded or followed by one or more Dholki events, which consist of dancing and singing. |
| Dress code | Conservative, with guests' arms and legs covered. |
| Traditions | Joota Chupai, where younger guests from the bride's side steal the groom's shoes for ransom. |
| Gifts | Traditionally, an envelope with cash or gifts is given to the bride or groom by wedding guests. |
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What You'll Learn
The importance of the Nikkah/Nikah ceremony
The Nikkah/Nikah ceremony is one of the most important rituals at a Pakistani wedding. It is a religious ceremony for Muslim couples, where they are legally wed under Islamic law. The Nikkah is typically performed by a religious scholar, such as an imam, mufti, sheikh, or mullah, who in Pakistan will be licensed by the government to conduct the ceremony. The ceremony usually takes place at a mosque, but it can also be held at the bride's home or another venue, such as a hotel.
During the Nikkah ceremony, the bride and groom officially accept their committed partnership and sign a marriage contract, called the "nikkahnama," in the presence of close family members and at least two witnesses from both sides. The nikkahnama includes specific terms and conditions on which both families confirm their consent. It also stipulates the Mehr, a mandatory bridewealth payment from the groom to the bride in the form of money or possessions.
The Nikkah is a crucial part of the wedding, as it is when the bride and groom are officially declared husband and wife. It is considered a prophetic tradition and the only acceptable way for a couple to be married in Islam. The ceremony legitimizes the relationship in the eyes of God, and without it, intimacy between the couple is not allowed. The Nikkah is often a small event, with only immediate family invited, followed by a dinner.
The Nikkah ceremony is an important opportunity for the couple to celebrate the values of a Muslim marriage, recall their duties as spouses, and reaffirm their eternal commitment to one another. It is a short and simple service, allowing the couple to focus on the religious and cultural significance of the ceremony without the financial burden of a grand event.
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Traditional dress and colours
Pakistani weddings are colourful, extravagant affairs, with numerous customs and rituals. Wedding customs and celebrations vary according to ethnicity and religion, but most marriages in Pakistan are traditional arranged marriages, semi-arranged marriages, or love marriages.
The wedding ceremony is referred to as the Nikkah or Nikah, where the bride and groom are officially declared as a married couple. The Nikkah is usually performed by a religious scholar at a mosque, and the bride and groom must have two witnesses present to ensure the marriage is consensual. The Nikkah can take place a few weeks or days before the Barat (or Baraat), or it can be combined with this function.
The Barat is the reception of the groom, his family, and his relatives in the bride's house. The groom usually rides a horse or a horse carriage, leading his friends and family in a procession, dancing to the beat of drums. The groom wears a traditional dress known as a Sherwani, and the bride wears a Lehnga.
On the day of the Valima (or Walima), the groom usually wears a suit, and the bride wears pastel shades and plenty of gold jewellery. The Walima is the formal reception hosted by the husband and wife, where they are greeted with goodwill and offered juices and food.
It is customary for wedding guests to give an envelope with cash or gifts to the bride or groom. It is also traditional for friends and family of the couple to invite guests over for lunch or dinner (Daawat) after the wedding to formally accept them as a couple.
Although wedding customs vary, it is generally recommended that guests at a Pakistani wedding dress conservatively, with arms and legs covered.
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Food, music, and other customs
Pakistani weddings are known for their delicious food, upbeat music, and beautiful customs. The food served at a Pakistani wedding reception will vary depending on the region and the family's ethnic background, but you can expect a variety of dishes, including rice, meat, and bread. It is customary for the bride's family to host the reception, where the groom's friends and family arrive in a procession (known as the "baraat").
During the baraat, there is usually a grand entrance with the groom riding a horse or a horse carriage, leading the way to his friends and family dancing to the beat of drums or Bollywood/Bhangra music. The groom typically wears a traditional dress called a "Sherwani", while his family members and friends may also wear special clothing or uniforms.
Following the baraat, there is usually a wedding ceremony or "nikaah", which is a relatively short and simple Islamic ritual where the marriage contract ("nikahnama") is signed by both the bride and groom in the presence of close family members and witnesses. This is followed by the "rukhsati", where the bride bids farewell to her family and is taken to her husband's house.
The next day, the "Valima" is held, which is a lunch or dinner function organized by the groom's family. It is a grand feast where everyone from the bride's and groom's families and friends are invited to celebrate the newlywed couple.
In addition to the food and customs, Pakistani weddings are also known for their lively music. The music played at a Pakistani wedding reception will vary depending on the region and the families' preferences, but you can expect to hear a mix of traditional and modern songs, including Bollywood music.
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Gifts and money
Pakistani weddings are known for their extravagance and attention to detail. The wedding is not just seen as a union between a husband and wife but also an alliance between two families.
The exchange of gifts and money is an important part of Pakistani wedding traditions. Here are some of the key moments where gifts and money are involved:
Mehr
Also known as Mahr in Urdu, this is a mandatory bridewealth payment from the groom to the bride. It is stipulated in the nikkah contract and can be in the form of money or possessions. The dowry symbolises the bride's freedom and financial independence during and even after the marriage, should she need to leave her husband. Today, the dowry is usually in the form of a wedding ring.
Nikah
The nikah, or the official marriage contract, is another opportunity for the exchange of gifts and money. During the nikah, the groom's family may present the bride's family with gifts and money as a sign of respect and gratitude. This is known as salaami.
Baraat
The baraat is the groom's grand entrance to the wedding, where he arrives in a procession with his family and friends, dancing to loud music. During the baraat, there is also an exchange of gift-money, again called salaami.
Valima
The valima is the reception and final event of the wedding celebration, hosted by the groom's family. During the valima, guests may give gifts and money to the newlywed couple as a blessing for their new life together.
Daawat
After the wedding, it is customary for friends and family of the couple to invite guests over for dinner and lunch (Daawat) to formally accept them as a couple. During these gatherings, guests may bring gifts and money as a token of their well-wishes.
Overall, the giving of gifts and money is an important way to show respect, love, and support for the newlywed couple in Pakistani wedding culture.
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The honeymoon
Pakistani weddings are colourful, extravagant affairs, steeped in tradition and ritual. They are a source of great joy and celebration for all involved.
On the seventh day after the wedding, the newlyweds visit the bride's parents' house, where they are greeted with a feast, and the bride's family gets to spend time with her.
Pakistani weddings are a beautiful blend of tradition and culture, with the honeymoon being a significant part of the celebration, symbolising the beginning of the couple's married life together.
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Frequently asked questions
Wedding planner Sobi Qazi advises guests to dress conservatively, with their arms and legs covered.
You will likely be greeted with goodwill and offered juices and food.
The reception, or Walima, is the final event of the wedding celebration, officially making the marriage public and serving as a feast in honour of the newlywed couple.
One tradition is Joota Chupai, where younger guests on the bride's side steal the groom's shoes for ransom. Another tradition is the exchange of gift-money, or salaami.
The bride and groom are the hosts of the reception, and they will greet their guests and pose for photographs.
