Rhiannon Hendricks
Wedding vows are a crucial part of a wedding ceremony, and they can take many forms. From traditional religious vows to personalised promises, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. For those who want to write their own vows, the process can be daunting but rewarding. It involves reflecting on the unique aspects of your relationship, expressing your love, and making promises for the future. Whether you're crafting humorous, romantic, or heartfelt vows, the key is to speak from the heart and showcase your commitment. This paragraph introduces the topic of wedding vows and sets the stage for exploring various examples, offering inspiration, and providing guidance on writing meaningful vows that resonate with couples.
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What You'll Learn
Traditional vows
Traditional wedding vows have been spoken by millions of couples over the centuries and are steeped in history, culture, and meaning. They are a great way to honour family tradition and to speak the same words as those who came before you.
"I, [name], take you, [name], to be my [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."
"I take this vow for the fulfilment of the material needs of the family and prosperity, for the development of physical, mental, and spiritual strength, to acquire wealth by pure and righteous means and to spend it wisely, for a harmonious relationship, to excel in raising strong and virtuous children, for togetherness and compatibility, and for friendship—to be dependable and faithful and for lifelong companionship."
"In the presence of God and these our friends, I take thee to be my [wife/husband], promising with divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful [husband/wife] so long as we both shall live."
These traditional vows can be used word-for-word or as inspiration for writing your own personalised vows. Many couples choose to work with their officiant to identify parts of the traditional vows that resonate with them and incorporate those into their ceremony.
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Religious vows
Religious wedding vows are a meaningful way to honour your faith and heritage. Many religions have traditional wedding vows that have been passed down for generations. These vows often symbolise the moment when a couple becomes one, and they are usually spoken before God and in front of family and friends. While some religious vows are set in stone, others allow for customisation and personal touches. Here are some examples of religious vows:
Christian Wedding Vows
> "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part."
> "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wedded wife/husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy relationship of marriage. I promise to love and comfort you, honour and keep you, and forsaking all others, I will be yours alone as long as we both shall live."
Hindu Wedding Vows
During Hindu weddings, couples recite a set of vows known as saptapadi, or the Seven Steps. They make a list of promises as they walk around a ring of fire to honour Agni, the Hindu god of fire.
Jewish Wedding Vows
In traditional Jewish ceremonies, the groom says:
> "Harey at mekuddeshet li B'taba'at zo k'dat Moshe V'israel," which translates to, "Behold, thou art consecrated unto me with this ring according to the law of Moses and of Israel."
However, modern Jewish couples may choose to include self-written vows in their nuptials.
Pagan Wedding Vows
> "I promise to love thee wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love again. I shall not seek to change thee in any way. I shall respect thee, thy beliefs, thy people, and thy ways as I respect myself."
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Secular vows
Secular wedding vows, also known as non-religious wedding vows, are a meaningful way for couples to express their commitment to each other. There are no constraints on what can be included in secular vows, and they can be personalised to reflect the couple's unique love story and personalities.
"I promise to always care for you, connect with you, comfort you, and celebrate with you. I will be by your side through whatever life may bring, and I will cherish the time we have together. I feel lucky to have found someone who embraces all that I am and enriches my life in so many ways. The values, dreams, and plans we share make me excited for our future, and I can't wait to continue this adventure with you. I choose you to be no other than yourself, loving what I know of you and trusting what I do not yet know. I promise to laugh with you when times are good and endure with you when times are bad. I respect you as an individual, a partner, and an equal. You are my best friend, and I promise to love you always. I promise to accept you the way you are, just as I fell in love with your qualities, your quirks, and your outlook on life."
"You are my best friend. I love you with all my heart and stand here before all of our friends and family on this, the happiest day of my life. I want nothing more than to share my future with you – my triumphs and my challenges, my joys and my sorrows. Together, I know we can accomplish the life we both dream of living. There are three words that are stronger than 'I love you'. Today I stand in front of you to say, 'I choose you'. I choose you over all others. I choose you to share happiness with, to care for, to have a family with, to grow with, and to love forever. With my whole heart, I take you as my partner, acknowledging your strengths and accepting your faults, as you do mine. I will be yours in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, in failure and in triumph."
"I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wedded wife/husband from this day forward. I promise to love and cherish you, honour and sustain you in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, and to be true to you in all things until death alone shall part us. I choose you, [name], to be my wife/husband, my friend, and my love. I affirm our relationship, looking to the future to keep and strengthen it. I will be yours in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph. Together, we will dream and live as one, respecting one another, stumbling but restoring each other, and sharing all things. I will cherish, comfort, and encourage you, be open with you, and stay with you as long as I shall live."
"I see these vows not as promises but as privileges: I get to laugh with you and cry with you; care for you and share with you. I get to run with you and walk with you; build with you and live with you. Anywhere I go, you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling."
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Romantic and funny vows
Wedding vows are a great way to showcase your personality and your sense of humour. They are also a way to highlight what makes your partner special and why you love them. Here are some examples of romantic and funny vows:
"I, Stefano/James, take you, James/Stefano, to be my husband. When you need a friend, I will be your best friend. When you need help, I will be there for you. When you need care, I will support you. When you want to try something new, I will encourage you. And when you do the same for me, I will appreciate you. But if you don't...I promise to always try one bite of any meal you cook. I vow to be the best parts of me that fit perfectly with the best parts of you."
"I, [name], take you, [name], to be my lawfully wedded [wife/husband] and [insert quirky thing here] for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health, and very rarely, in losing. I promise to love, honour, and cherish you, and to always snuggle you as often as possible. I vow to always try to be sensitive and respectful of your unique talents, abilities, and quirks."
"I promise to always be 100% faithful and never a traitor. I promise to never watch the next episode on Netflix without you, no matter how much I want to. I promise to love you in sickness and in health, and even when you refuse to watch another episode of [TV show] with me. I promise to never get tired of getting up early with you on holidays to 'make the most of the trip'. I promise to always defend you when my parents tell you you're weird."
"I, [name], take you, [name], to be my [wife/husband]. I love that you get cold when it's seventy-one degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume/aftershave on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. I promise to always be fascinated by you and to love you more and more each day."
"I vow to always be your protector and confidante, responsible for making sure your every need is met, every want is reached, and every dream is realized. From this life we have built to get to this moment, this great moment in our life, looking into your beautiful eyes, I vow to always be your good thing, with love in my heart, always by your side, to my last breath."
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Vows for couples with children
Wedding vows are a declaration of love and commitment. When couples with children marry, their vows often reflect their love for their partner, their children, and their new family unit. Here are some examples of wedding vows for couples with children:
As a couple, you may want to honour your love for each other and your commitment to your children in your vows. Here is an example:
"I, [name], take you, [spouse's name], to be my loving spouse. For better or worse, I pledge to you my heart and my life. As you have been a loving (parent) to [children's names], now let us come together as a family—[parent], [parent], [children]—together from this day forward. I promise to love, guide, and respect [children's names] and to support and honour you, [spouse's name], as long as we all shall live."
Vows for Step-Parents
If you are becoming a step-parent, your vows can acknowledge your commitment to your partner's children and your role in their lives. Here is an example:
"I, [name], take you, [spouse's name], to be my loving spouse. I promise to love and support you and to be a kind and respectful step-parent to [children's names]. I vow to listen to them, learn about their interests and dreams, and be someone they can trust and confide in. I will celebrate their achievements and provide comfort during challenges. I am excited to build this blended family with you, creating a secure and loving home for our children."
Personalised Vows
You may also choose to personalise your vows by sharing your unique journey and experiences as a couple and a family. Here is an example:
"Before you, I never truly believed in 'one true love.' In you, I found a partner in life, a lover, a friend, and a safe place. Thank you for embracing all the parts of me and for being a devoted family man. Our children are so fortunate to have you as a role model. I am excited to face the adventures of marriage and parenthood with you by my side. I promise to support and love you through all of life's twists and turns."
Involving Children in the Vows
Whether or not to involve children in the vow portion of the ceremony is a decision that should be made with consideration for the child's comfort and wishes. If children are interested in participating, they can write their own vows or respond with a simple "I do" after the couple's vows. Including children in the vows is a beautiful way to symbolise the coming together of your new family.
Remember, these are just examples, and you can personalise your vows to reflect your unique family and the promises you want to make to your partner and children.
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Frequently asked questions
Traditional wedding vows differ depending on the religion and culture of the couple. For example, in the Church of England, the vows traditionally begin with the minister asking both the congregation and the couple a question. In Hindu weddings, exchanging vows is known as 'Saptapadi' or the 'seven steps'. The seven vows include: "Let us take the first step to provide for our household a nourishing and pure diet, avoiding those foods injurious to healthy living."
"Of all the people you've met and places you've visited you ended up here—with me. [...] Through the years we have faced obstacles, some harder than others, that have helped us build the strong foundation of our relationship."
"I promise to be your honest, faithful, and loving wife for the rest of my days. I pledge to honour you, love you, and cherish you as my husband today and every day."
"In faith, honesty, and love, I take you to be my wedded husband. I pledge to share with you God's plan for our lives together united in Christ. For better, for worse, in sickness and in health, in joys and in sorrows, until death do us part—I promise you all of this and more with God's help."
Wedding vows should be written from the heart and should be personalised to the couple. It is important to make clear what you are committing to and to mention the three powerful words: "I love you". It is also a good idea to rehearse the vows before the wedding.
"Before you, I never truly believed in 'one true love.' I know now that what we have transcends and is a much deeper soul connection. In you, I found a partner in life, a lover, a friend, a safe place, someone I can be my ugliest and most vulnerable with."
"I, Stefano/James, take you, James/Stefano, to be my husband. When you need a friend, I will be your best friend. When you need help, I will be there for you. When you want to try something new, I will encourage you."
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