Wedding Invitation Etiquette: A Guide To Getting It Right

Wedding invitation etiquette is a complex and often confusing topic. From timing to wording and even postage, there are many rules to follow when sending out wedding invites. The invitations are the guests' first glimpse of the wedding's style and theme, but they're also a crucial logistical element. So, what are the rules?

When to send wedding invitations

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, timing is everything. Send your invitations out too early, and your wedding might slip your guests' minds as the day draws closer. Send them out too late, and you risk your loved ones not having enough time to take time off work, book accommodations, or make travel arrangements.

So, when is the right time to send out your wedding invitations? Etiquette experts agree that the ideal timeline is six to eight weeks before the wedding. This gives your guests ample time to clear their schedules and make any necessary arrangements, without being too early.

If you're inviting guests from outside the country, it's customary to send out invitations nine to ten weeks in advance, or even up to a year ahead of time. This allows for extended shipping and delivery times and gives international guests more time to plan their travels.

If you're having a destination wedding, it's proper etiquette to send your invitations out 12 weeks in advance. This gives your guests enough time to plan their travels and book accommodations.

If you're skipping the save-the-dates, and you've been engaged for a few months before tying the knot, aim to send your invitations two to three months in advance.

For those who are sending out save-the-dates, these should go out four to six months before the wedding, or even earlier if you're planning a destination wedding.

What to include on the invitation

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are a few key details that you should include. Here's a list of what to include in your wedding invitation:

• Host Information: It's important to include the names of the hosts, whether it's the couple themselves or their parents. If both sets of parents are contributing, you can use "Together with their parents" or "Together with their families".
• Couple's Names: For different-sex couples, the bride's name typically goes first, followed by the groom. For same-sex couples, you can list names alphabetically by last name or based on the design of the invitation.
• Date and Time: Traditionally, the date and time are spelled out in full. For example, "Saturday, the fifteenth of September, two thousand twenty-four, at half after four in the afternoon".
• Venue: List the venue name and city, state for formal weddings. If the reception is at the same location, you can simply add "Reception to follow". Otherwise, include the reception details on a separate card.
• Dress Code: Including the dress code is optional but helpful for guests. If your wedding is black-tie, it must be included.
• RSVP Details: Don't forget to include an RSVP date, typically 2-4 weeks before the wedding, and provide a pre-addressed envelope with a stamp or specify the email/phone number/URL for guests to respond.
• Additional Information: You may want to include an information card with pre/post-wedding events, hotel information, and your wedding website.

Remember, it's important to follow proper etiquette and include all the necessary information while keeping the invitations elegant and concise.

How to address the envelopes

When addressing the envelopes for your wedding invitations, there are a few things to keep in mind to ensure you follow proper etiquette. Here are some detailed instructions to help you with this task:

• Use full names: When addressing your guests, spell out their full names, including titles, first names, middle names (optional), and last names. Avoid using nicknames or initials. For married couples, address them as "Mr. and Mrs." or "Mr. and Mr." For unmarried couples living together, it is considered proper etiquette to include the partner's name on the invitation, rather than just providing a plus one.
• Be mindful of family invitations: If you are inviting a couple with children, be clear about who is invited. Avoid addressing the envelope to "The Smith Family" if only the parents are invited. Instead, specify "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" or include the children's names if they are also invited.
• Provide RSVP details: Include an RSVP card with a pre-addressed and stamped envelope to make it convenient for your guests to respond. Give them a deadline for responding, usually two to four weeks before the wedding, to allow enough time for catering and seating arrangements.
• Consider inner and outer envelopes: Formal invitations typically include both an outer mailing envelope and an inner envelope. List the names of only the invited guests on both envelopes if you are having an adults-only wedding.
• Handwrite the addresses: Avoid using address labels and take the time to handwrite the addresses on the envelopes. This adds a personal touch and is considered more appropriate for wedding invitations.
• Allow plenty of time: Give yourself enough time to carefully address, assemble, and mail your invitations. Send them out six to eight weeks before the wedding for non-destination weddings and twelve weeks in advance for destination weddings.

RSVP instructions and deadlines

RSVP cards are an essential part of the wedding invitation suite. They allow you to get an accurate headcount for your reception and ensure you can provide a final count to your caterer. Here are some key instructions and deadlines to keep in mind:

Timing

It is recommended that you set your RSVP deadline for two to four weeks before your wedding date. This will give you enough time to finalise the headcount for your vendors and create a seating chart. Sending your invitations around six to eight weeks before the wedding is standard, so asking for responses two to four weeks out gives your guests enough time to respond without letting them forget.

Instructions

Don't forget to include an "RSVP by" date on your RSVP cards. Give your guests three to four weeks to let you know if they will be attending. It's also important to let guests know how to RSVP. Include a pre-addressed envelope with a stamp if you want them to mail back a response card. Alternatively, you can direct them to a specific email address, phone number, or wedding website URL to RSVP electronically.

Following Up

If some guests haven't responded by your deadline, give them a quick call or ask a family member or member of the bridal party to reach out. This will help ensure you have a final headcount and can finalise details with your vendors.

Plus-one etiquette

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are a few etiquette rules to follow regarding plus-ones. While it is not necessary to give every guest a plus-one, it is generally considered good etiquette to invite married, engaged, or cohabiting guests with their partners. This also applies to wedding party members and guests who have been in a long-term relationship.

If you are unsure about whether to offer a plus-one, it is better to be cautious and extend the invitation. This is especially true if you know that most of your guests will be in couples, as it will make single guests feel more comfortable. However, if budget or space is a concern, it is acceptable to limit plus-ones to only those guests mentioned above.

When addressing the invitations, it is more personal and welcoming to use the names of all "and guests" rather than just "and guest." It is also important to spell out the names of guests and their plus-ones in full, including titles, first names, middle names, and last names. Avoid using nicknames or initials, and be sure to use appropriate social titles.

If you are unable to get the full name of a guest's plus-one, it is better to use "and guest" rather than risk misspelling their name. In some cases, it may be appropriate to give a few guests a plus-one instead of inviting their partners by name. This allows them to bring someone else if their partner is unable to attend. However, this can be tricky, as some guests may take offence if they feel their relationship is not being taken seriously.

In general, it is best to be considerate and respectful when deciding on plus-ones, and to avoid making assumptions about your guests' relationship status.

Frequently asked questions