A Best Man's Speech: What To Avoid

The best man's speech is one of the most memorable parts of a wedding. But, as the best man, how do you ensure your speech is memorable for the right reasons?

Well, for starters, it's probably best not to mention the stag party. Or the groom's exes. And definitely avoid anything that could be construed as creepy, vulgar, or mean-spirited. Keep it classy, and steer clear of ball and chain or whipped jokes.

It's also a good idea to avoid rambling and keep your speech short and sweet. Focus on the groom's positive qualities, and how the couple has impacted each other's lives. If you can, include a lighthearted or funny anecdote—but nothing that will embarrass or humiliate anyone.

Remember, the key to a great best man's speech is to be sincere, practice beforehand, and keep things PG.

Past relationships

One of the biggest no-nos of a best man's speech is mentioning the groom's past relationships. While it may be tempting to include a funny story or two about the groom's dating history, it's important to remember that this is a day to celebrate the couple's new union. Bringing up past relationships can not only upset the bride but also cause unnecessary tension and discomfort for the guests.

Instead of focusing on the groom's past relationships, shift the attention to his relationship with the bride. Talk about how they met, the things that make them a great couple, and the positive changes you've seen in the groom since he found his partner. Keep the speech lighthearted and avoid any stories that might reflect poorly on the groom or his new spouse.

If you must include a mention of the groom's past, stick to general statements about his life before meeting the bride. For example, you could say something like, "Groom, I've known you for years, and I've never seen you happier than you are today with Bride by your side." This way, you acknowledge that the groom has a history but without going into explicit details about past relationships.

Remember, the goal of your speech is to celebrate the couple and wish them well on their journey together. Avoid any topics that might detract from that, including references to the groom's past relationships. Keep your speech positive, heartfelt, and focused on the love and happiness that the couple has found with each other.

By following these guidelines, you'll be able to deliver a best man's speech that is both entertaining and respectful, ensuring that the couple's special day is one to remember for all the right reasons.

The stag party

As the best man, your speech should focus on celebrating the groom and his new bride, highlighting their positive attributes and the special bond they share. It is not the time to divulge potentially embarrassing or inappropriate stories about the groom's last days of freedom. Remember, the wedding day is about the couple, and your speech should reflect that.

If you absolutely must allude to the stag party, a subtle reference or a playful joke will suffice. For example, you could say something like, "I'm sure the groom is relieved that what happens on the stag stays on the stag!" This way, you acknowledge the occasion without delving into unnecessary details.

Additionally, it is essential to respect the bride's feelings. She is the centre of attention on her wedding day, and your speech should not include anything that might make her uncomfortable or upset. Keep the tone light and positive, and avoid any stories or jokes that could be considered offensive or vulgar.

In conclusion, while the stag party is an integral part of the groom's pre-wedding celebrations, it is generally best to leave it out of your best man speech. Focus on honouring the couple, entertaining the guests, and creating a memorable and joyful atmosphere.

Vulgarity and adult humour

As the best man, your speech is one of the highlights of the wedding. It's your chance to honour your friend and celebrate his new marriage. While it's only about 10 minutes, it will be remembered forever. So, it's crucial to know what to leave out. Here are some tips on what not to mention in your best man speech regarding vulgarity and adult humour:

• Keep it classy: Avoid vulgarity and adult humour that might offend the audience, especially older guests and children. Remember, this is a family event, so keep the content classy and suitable for all ages.
• No sexual references: Steer clear of any mention of sex or "adult" humour. It's not the place for it, and it will only make people uncomfortable.
• Avoid inside jokes: While a few inside jokes are fine, too many will alienate those who don't understand them. Keep the speech inclusive and accessible to everyone.
• No explicit stories: While you can tell light-hearted anecdotes, avoid explicit stories about the groom that might embarrass him or the bride. It's not the time to share need-to-know details or bring up past relationships.
• No offensive jokes: Avoid offensive jokes or comments, especially those that objectify women or make light of serious issues. It's not the time to be creepy or vulgar.
• No excessive swearing: While the occasional slip might be forgiven, excessive swearing will only detract from your message. It's not necessary and can be seen as a sign of poor taste.
• No drinking/drugs/gambling: These topics are not appropriate for a wedding celebration. Keep the focus on the couple and their happiness, not on controversial subjects.
• No explicit references to the stag party: While you can allude to the stag party, don't go into explicit details. Respect people's privacy and avoid ruining the day with inappropriate stories.

Remember, the key is to strike a balance between humour and sentimentality. Keep your speech tasteful, respectful, and suitable for all guests. Focus on celebrating the couple and their love, and leave out anything that might cause offence or discomfort.

In-jokes

Understanding In-Jokes

Using In-Jokes Effectively

• Provide Context: When using in-jokes, it's important to provide enough context so that all guests can understand and appreciate the humour. Set the scene, explain the background, and give introductions if needed. This ensures that everyone feels included and can share in the laughter.
• Keep It Lighthearted: Avoid in-jokes that are too risqué, offensive, or embarrassing. Opt for humour that is good-natured and won't make the groom or other guests uncomfortable. Remember, the goal is to create a celebratory and inclusive atmosphere.
• Mix In-Jokes with Heartfelt Moments: While in-jokes can be entertaining, it's important to balance them with sincere and heartfelt sentiments. Include stories and reflections that showcase the groom's best qualities and your special bond. This adds depth to your speech and creates a well-rounded tribute.
• Consider the Audience: Always keep your audience in mind when crafting your speech. Avoid in-jokes that might be considered offensive, discriminatory, or inappropriate for certain guests. Respect cultural and social backgrounds, and steer clear of topics that could be sensitive or controversial.
• Edit and Refine: As you write your speech, edit and refine your in-jokes to make them as effective as possible. Cut any elements that might fall flat or be confusing. A well-edited speech ensures a more engaging and enjoyable experience for your audience.
• Practice and Delivery: Rehearse your speech, including the timing and delivery of your in-jokes. Practice in front of a mirror, with friends, or record yourself to get feedback and make improvements. This will help you refine your humour and ensure your speech flows smoothly.

Examples of In-Jokes

• "For those who know the groom, you're well aware of his unique talent for [SPECIFIC TALENT]. In fact, I remember one time when we were [SPECIFIC LOCATION], and he [SPECIFIC STORY DETAILS]. Let's just say, it was a memorable experience for all involved!"
• "The groom and I go way back, and one of our favourite shared activities is [SPECIFIC ACTIVITY]. There was this one time when we [SPECIFIC STORY DETAILS]. It's safe to say, our adventures never fail to amuse!"
• "For those who are close to the groom, you know that he has a particular obsession with [SPECIFIC OBSESSION]. In fact, it's gotten to the point where [SPECIFIC STORY OR ANECDOTE]. I'm sure the bride will have her hands full keeping him in check!"
• "One of the things I admire most about the groom is his unwavering loyalty. He's always been there for me, whether it was helping me move apartments at a moment's notice or [SPECIFIC STORY OF HOW THE GROOM SHOWED LOYALTY]. He's truly a friend like no other."
• "The groom and I have shared countless adventures, but one of our most memorable trips was to [SPECIFIC LOCATION]. It started off with [SPECIFIC STORY DETAILS], and let's just say, we ended up [SPECIFIC HUMOROUS OUTCOME]. It's a trip we'll never forget!"

Remember, the key to successfully incorporating in-jokes is to ensure they are accessible, good-natured, and reflective of the groom's unique qualities and your shared experiences. Happy speechwriting!

Yourself

Best Man Speech: All About Yourself

Good [time of day] everyone! For those who don't know me, I'm [name], and it is an honour to stand here today as the best man for my friend/brother, [groom's name]. I've known [groom] for [amount of time], and today I'm here to share a few words about our friendship and the wonderful couple.

A Little About Yourself:

I first met [groom] [number] years ago when [explain how you met]. We quickly became close friends, and I've had the privilege of witnessing his journey and transformation into the man he is today. Over the years, we've shared countless adventures, from [mention a funny shared experience] to [mention a meaningful shared experience]. [Groom] has always been there for me through thick and thin, and I'm proud to stand by his side on this special day.

A Toast to the Groom:

[Groom], you've been an incredible friend, and your loyalty and support have enriched my life. I've seen you grow and evolve, from [mention a funny story about the groom's past] to [mention how the groom has changed for the better]. Your dedication to [mention a hobby or interest of the groom] is admirable, and your sense of humour always manages to brighten my day. I'm so glad that you've found your perfect match in [bride's name].

A Toast to the Couple:

[Bride and groom], your love and commitment to each other inspire me. Seeing the way you balance and complement each other fills me with joy. [Bride], thank you for bringing out the best in [groom] and for being a constant source of support and happiness in his life. To the happy couple, may your love continue to grow and flourish. May your marriage be filled with laughter, joy, and endless adventures. Cheers to the newlyweds!

Frequently asked questions