Rsvp Etiquette: When To Set Your Wedding Response Date

When it comes to wedding invitations, timing is everything. The general rule of thumb is to send out invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding and to set the RSVP date for two to four weeks before the wedding. This gives guests enough time to clear their schedules and make travel arrangements if needed, and gives the couple enough time to finalise the headcount for the caterer and seating chart. While it's traditional to spell out dates and times on formal invitations, it's becoming more common to use numerals for a more casual feel.

RSVPs should be due 2-4 weeks before the wedding

When it comes to wedding planning, there are many factors to consider, and timing is crucial. Sending out invitations and getting responses from guests is an important part of this process.

RSVPs, or "Répondez s'il vous plaît" in French, meaning "please respond", are a key element of wedding planning. They allow you to get a final headcount for your big day and help you finalise the seating arrangements and catering. It is generally recommended that you set the RSVP date for your wedding at least two to four weeks before the wedding date. This gives you enough time to confirm numbers with your caterer and finalise the seating chart.

Setting the RSVP date two to four weeks in advance provides a good buffer for any last-minute changes or unexpected situations. It also ensures that you have an accurate count of guests for the caterer, as most caterers will require final numbers one week before the event. This timeframe is especially important if you have guests who have not yet responded to your invitation. Giving them a gentle reminder or a quick call can help ensure you have their response before finalising the details.

Additionally, this buffer period allows you to make any necessary adjustments to your seating chart. Creating a seating chart can be a complex task, and having a few extra weeks can make the process less stressful. It gives you the opportunity to consider the comfort and enjoyment of your guests and make changes if needed.

By setting the RSVP date two to four weeks before your wedding, you can ensure that you have the information you need to make your special day a success. This timeframe allows you to focus on other important aspects of your wedding, knowing that you have a clear picture of the guest count and can make informed decisions about catering and seating arrangements.

Remember, it is essential to give your guests enough time to respond to your invitation. Sending out invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding is standard practice, giving guests ample time to clear their schedules and make travel arrangements if needed. This also allows you to send out save-the-date cards in advance, especially for destination weddings, so your guests can plan accordingly.

Include the date and time

The date and time are essential components of your wedding invitation, providing guests with crucial information about when your big day will occur. Here are some instructive tips to ensure you include this information effectively and with proper etiquette:

Spell Out the Date

For formal invitations, it is customary to spell out the date in full rather than using numerals. For example, if your wedding is on Saturday, October 26th, 2024, the date would be written as "Saturday, the twenty-sixth of October two thousand twenty-four".

Capitalize the day of the week and separate it from the date with a comma. If your wedding falls between the 21st and 31st of a month, use a hyphen between the tens and ones place (e.g., "the twenty-ninth"). Always spell out the month in full with a capital letter and omit any abbreviations.

The year is typically written on a separate line from the day and month, and there should be no comma between the month and year. For instance, "two thousand and eighteen". While not necessary for casual invitations, spelling out the date is acceptable regardless of formality.

Provide the Time

Like the date, it is customary to spell out the time of day in full for formal invitations, omitting numerals. For example, if your wedding begins at 3:30 p.m., you would write, "half after three o'clock". If the time is on the hour, simply write, "four o'clock".

The time of day should be written in lowercase letters, and you can specify the time of day as "in the morning," "in the afternoon," or "in the evening." Noon can simply be written as "noon," and any time after 5 p.m. is considered the evening.

For casual weddings, you can use numerals for the time, such as "4pm" or "5:30pm." Just ensure that the date and time match in formality.

Include Start Times

Traditionally, the main wedding invitation includes only the date and time of the ceremony. If your reception follows immediately in the same location, a simple "reception to follow" or "dinner and dancing to follow" at the bottom of the invitation suffices.

However, if the reception is at a different time and/or location, it is best to include a separate reception card as part of your invitation suite to provide these details. Here's an example:

> Please join us for a reception at six o'clock in the evening. JW Marriott Houston Downtown, 806 Main Street, Houston, Texas.

Be Mindful of Timing

While it is not traditional to include the end time on the wedding stationery, you may include this information on your wedding website if you feel it is essential for your guests to know.

Additionally, it is common for couples to print an earlier start time on their invitations to ensure guests arrive on time. However, we recommend padding the time by no more than 15 minutes to avoid having your punctual guests wait too long.

Send invites 6-8 weeks before the wedding

Sending out your wedding invitations around 6-8 weeks before the wedding is a good idea for several reasons. Firstly, it gives your guests enough time to clear their schedules and make any necessary travel arrangements. This is especially important if you have guests coming from out of town or if your wedding is during a busy holiday period.

Secondly, sending your invites in advance allows you to include important details about your wedding website, accommodation options, and travel information. This is helpful for guests who need to book flights or make other arrangements well in advance. It also gives you a chance to finalise those details sooner rather than later.

Additionally, sending invitations with this timeline ensures that your guests have all the information they need to plan for and attend your big day. This includes not just the date and time but also the dress code, location, and any other relevant details.

Finally, sending invitations 6-8 weeks in advance gives you a better idea of your final guest count. This is crucial for providing numbers to your caterer and finalising your seating chart. It also allows you to follow up with any guests who may not have responded by your deadline.

In summary, sending your wedding invitations 6-8 weeks in advance is a thoughtful and practical choice that helps ensure a smooth and well-organised celebration for both you and your guests.

Include a return address

Including a return address on your wedding invitations is a crucial step in the process. While it may seem unnecessary, it serves as a safety net in case any issues arise during delivery. Here are some reasons why you should include a return address and some options for how to do so:

Reasons to Include a Return Address

The return address ensures that your invitations reach their intended recipients. If an issue occurs during transit, such as an incorrect address or the recipient no longer living at that address, the invitations can be returned to you. This prevents them from getting lost or ending up in the wrong hands. Additionally, having a return address allows you to confirm that your guests received their invitations. If someone mentions that they haven't received their invitation, you can double-check the address and resend it if necessary.

Placement of the Return Address

When addressing envelopes for weddings, it is customary to place the return address on the back flap of the envelope, rather than the top left corner, which is typical for regular mail. This placement helps distinguish the sender's address from the recipient's address and ensures that the post office can identify it correctly.

Etiquette for Return Addresses

While there are no hard and fast rules, wedding invitation return addresses traditionally include the names of the hosts, whether it's the couple themselves or their parents. You can use first names only, first and last names, or last names plus the word "wedding." Avoid combining last names, as you aren't married yet. For other events or holiday cards, feel free to be more creative and use first initials or even just the address without any names.

Options for Including a Return Address

There are several ways to include a return address on your wedding invitations:

• Return Address Labels: You can create return address labels at places like VistaPrint or Shutterfly, or design them yourself and print them at home. This option is affordable and simple, but the labels may look inconsistent with the guest address, especially if you use white labels on coloured envelopes.
• Pre-Printed Return Address on Envelope: When ordering envelopes online, you can often pay a small fee to have your return address pre-printed. This saves time and provides a clean, consistent look. However, if you run out of envelopes or need more, you'll have to find another option for the return address.
• Return Address Stamp: You can order a custom return address stamp with your names and address. This option offers a cohesive look with the guest address, especially if you use coloured ink. It does require some time to apply the stamp to each envelope.
• Calligraphy Return Address: For the most elegant and consistent presentation, consider hiring a calligrapher to write your return address. This option ensures a perfect match in writing style and ink colour but is also the most expensive and time-consuming choice.

Include postage on response cards

When it comes to wedding invitation response cards, it's important to make it as easy as possible for your guests to respond. One way to do this is by including postage on the response cards. Here are some tips and suggestions for including postage on your wedding invitation response cards:

Including postage on your response cards is a thoughtful gesture that makes it convenient for your guests to reply. It saves them the trouble of finding a stamp and ensures that you receive their responses promptly. This is especially important if you have a tight deadline for collecting RSVPs.

Types of Postage

There are a few options for including postage on response cards. One option is to use postage stamps, which can be purchased from your local post office or online. Calculate the correct postage for the size and weight of your response card and envelope, and then affix the appropriate number of stamps.

Another option is to use pre-paid postage envelopes or postcards. These can be purchased from some stationery suppliers and offer a convenient, all-in-one solution. The return address is usually printed on the envelope or postcard, and the postage is already included, so your guests only need to drop them in the mail.

Mailing Address

To make it even easier for your guests to respond, consider pre-addressing the response envelopes with your mailing address. This ensures that the responses are mailed directly to you without any confusion. If you opt for postcards, your return address is typically printed on the right side of the design.

Response Deadline

Be sure to include a clear response deadline on your cards, such as "Please respond by [date]." This helps your guests understand the urgency and ensures that you receive the responses within a reasonable timeframe. A good rule of thumb is to set the deadline for two to three weeks before your wedding date.

Online Response Options

In today's digital age, you may also want to consider providing an online response option in addition to physical response cards. You can include your wedding website or email address on the response card, giving guests the choice to reply electronically if they prefer. This can be especially useful for guests who may be travelling or have limited access to postal services.

Frequently asked questions