Timing Your Wedding Invites And Rsvps

Planning a wedding can be a stressful task, especially when it comes to sending out invites and waiting for RSVPs. The general consensus is that wedding invitations should be sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding, giving guests enough time to clear their schedules and make travel arrangements. However, some sources suggest that sending invitations three months in advance is also acceptable, especially if guests are travelling from far or if meal choices need to be confirmed. It is also important to note that save-the-date cards should be sent out six to eight months in advance, or even earlier for destination weddings. The RSVP deadline should ideally be set two to four weeks before the wedding, allowing enough time to finalise the guest list and share the final count with vendors.

Invites for destination weddings

Planning a destination wedding is an exciting task, and invitations are the first glimpse into this adventure for your guests. Here is a comprehensive guide to help you with the invites for your destination wedding:

Timing is Key:

When it comes to sending out invites for a destination wedding, timing is crucial. While the traditional timeline for wedding invites is six to eight weeks before the wedding, destination weddings require a different approach. It is recommended to send out invites for a destination wedding about four months in advance. This will give your guests ample time to make travel arrangements and ensure they have enough time to plan their attendance. Sending out "save-the-date" cards six to eight months before the wedding is also a good idea, especially for destination weddings, so your guests can plan ahead.

Invitation Wording:

The wording of your destination wedding invitations should capture the essence of your chosen location and wedding style. Here are some tips to help you craft the perfect invitation:

• Keep it Simple: Use clear and concise language that excites your guests about the destination and emphasises the importance of their presence.
• Provide a Clear Call to Action: Include specific instructions on how to RSVP, such as contacting your travel agent or responding via your wedding website.
• Incorporate Practical Details: Along with creative wording, ensure you include essential information such as the date, time, location, and accommodation options.
• Address the "No Kids" Policy: If your destination wedding is at an adults-only resort, be subtle but clear in your wording. For example, mention the "adults-only" nature of the resort in your invitation.
• Avoid Mentioning Gifts: Instead of asking for gifts, you can include a gracious sentence such as, "Your presence is the only gift we wish to receive."

Design Elements:

The design of your destination wedding invitations should reflect the overall theme and aesthetic of your special day. Here are some ideas to inspire you:

• Incorporate Illustrations: Use images or illustrations that showcase the beauty of your chosen destination, such as palm trees for a beach wedding or snow-capped mountains for a winter wedding.
• Choose the Right Font: Select a font that complements your wedding style. For example, a flowing script might suit a beach wedding, while a classic serif font could be perfect for a historic castle setting.
• Add a Personal Touch: Consider including a monogram, personalised wedding logo, or unique design element on the back of your invitations.
• Provide a Packing List: Let your guests know about any themed parties or activities so they can pack accordingly. For example, if you're planning a pool party, let them know to bring their swimwear.
• Incorporate Colour: Focus on one colour from your destination, such as emerald green for a mountain wedding or teal for a beach wedding, and use it as a colour block with white for a minimalist invitation.
• Include a Map: Add a hand-painted watercolour illustration or a blind-embossed map of your wedding venue and its surroundings.

RSVP Management:

Managing RSVPs for a destination wedding can be tricky, but here are some tips to ensure a smooth process:

• Provide a Deadline: Set an RSVP deadline about two months before your wedding date. This will give you enough time to finalise numbers with your vendors and plan any pre- and post-wedding events accordingly.
• Offer Multiple RSVP Options: Include a pre-addressed, pre-stamped return envelope, and also provide an option for digital RSVPs through your wedding website to cater to different guest preferences.
• Be Clear and Direct: Ensure your guests understand the importance of responding, even if they are declining the invitation. Use wording such as, "The favour of your reply is requested by [date]."

Save-the-date cards

The timing of sending out save-the-date cards depends on your wedding plans. If your guests are within driving distance or have easy access to public transport, it is suggested that you send out save-the-date cards 4-6 months before the wedding. If you're planning a destination wedding, the suggested timeframe doubles. For destination weddings, especially those requiring international travel (and passports), try to send out save-the-date cards six months to a year before your wedding day.

If you're short on time, don't worry. These timeframes are only suggestions. With digital invitations, you can design, address, and send out all your save-the-dates in as little as 30 minutes.

When to send invites

When it comes to sending out wedding invitations, timing is everything. Send them too early, and your guests might forget to RSVP or even change their plans closer to the date. Send them too late, and your guests might not be able to attend due to prior commitments. So, when is the best time to send out wedding invitations?

The general rule of thumb is to send wedding invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding. This gives your guests enough time to plan and make any necessary arrangements without being too far in advance. However, it's important to note that this timeline may vary depending on the type of wedding you're having.

For destination weddings or weddings with many out-of-town guests, it's recommended to send invitations three to six months in advance. This allows guests ample time to make travel plans and accommodations. On the other hand, if you're having a local wedding with mostly local guests, you can send invitations out four to six months before the big day.

If you're worried about guests having prior commitments or wanting to give them a heads-up to mark their calendars, you can send out "save-the-date" cards earlier. Save-the-dates are typically sent out between six and twelve months before the wedding, or even earlier for destination weddings. This ensures that your guests know to keep your wedding date free, even if they don't have all the details yet.

When it comes to RSVPs, it's standard to set a deadline of four weeks before the wedding. However, for destination weddings, you may want to request RSVPs a little earlier, as the venue may need a final count before you arrive. It's also a good idea to follow up with guests who haven't responded, as this will help you finalise numbers for caterers and seating arrangements.

In summary, the key to sending out wedding invitations is to give your guests enough notice without being too far in advance. By following the recommended timelines and using save-the-dates and RSVP deadlines effectively, you can ensure that your guests have all the information they need to attend your special day.

RSVP deadlines

The RSVP deadline is an important consideration when planning a wedding. This is the date by which your guests should respond, giving you a final headcount for your big day. Here are some tips and guidelines to help you choose the right RSVP deadline:

• The recommended time frame for sending out wedding invitations is six to eight weeks before the wedding. This gives guests enough time to clear their schedules and make travel arrangements if needed.
• The RSVP deadline should fall at least two to four weeks before your wedding date. This allows enough time to finalise the headcount for your caterer and to create a seating chart.
• For destination weddings, it is advisable to set the RSVP deadline two months before the wedding. This accounts for the additional time required for travel arrangements.
• When setting the RSVP deadline, consider the time needed to chase late responses. A deadline that is too early may result in guests forgetting to respond, while a deadline that is too close to the wedding may lead to last-minute changes and unexpected issues.
• Communicate the RSVP deadline clearly on your invitations and wedding website. This ensures that your guests are aware of the date and can plan accordingly.
• If you have guests who live abroad or need to travel long distances, consider sending out invitations and setting the RSVP deadline earlier. A three-month time frame is usually sufficient for making travel arrangements.
• It is essential to give your guests enough time to RSVP, typically four to five weeks. This allows them to determine their availability and make any necessary travel plans.
• If you are having a destination wedding, sending out save-the-date cards six months to one year in advance is recommended. This gives your guests ample time to request time off work, book accommodations, and make other necessary arrangements.
• To streamline the process, consider including a pre-addressed and pre-stamped return envelope with your invitations. Alternatively, provide options for RSVPing, such as digitally through your wedding website, to accommodate varying preferences.

Following up on RSVPs

When your wedding invitation RSVP date arrives, you hopefully will have received all of your guest responses and can then submit your official guest count to your wedding venue. However, it's often the case that wedding couples are left waiting for a handful of non-responders' answers, which can be very frustrating. Here are some tips on how to follow up with guests who have not responded to your wedding invitation:

Timing

Give guests one week after your wedding invitation response date before you contact them. Some may have mailed their response cards out on the RSVP date, and waiting a week will make you look more in control.

Method of Contact

It's best to call rather than email. Your email might end up in your guest's spam folder. When you make a phone call, your polite message of "Just calling to see if you'll be able to attend our wedding" will yield the best results, as the guest can hear in your voice that you're not angry.

Responding Well

If the guest you call expresses surprise that you didn't receive their response card, then you have your answer. If they respond with a "We're not sure yet", don't respond with annoyance. Just say, "Please do let me know by [deadline] since we have to submit our headcount to the caterer." Some guests aren't aware that you face a deadline and will be happy to hurry up their response.

Set a Deadline

Give them a set deadline to get back to you, but don't say "Please get back to me within 24 or 48 hours", as that can seem too bossy and dramatic. It's better to say, "Please get back to me by Tuesday", even if that's only 48 hours away.

Apologise, but not too much

You may not want to seem like you're rushing your guest for an answer, but in this instance, you do have a right to. So while it's fine to say, "Sorry to call during the evening, but I'm just checking in to see if you and your family will be able to make it to our wedding", over-apologising can create problems when a guest who doesn't practice good wedding etiquette senses that they're in the driver's seat.

Check in personally

While it might seem like a good tactic to have your parent call relatives for this answer, they might be uncomfortable with the task, make the call and then not be able to extract an answer, as the conversation veered into chitchat. Make the call yourself and get that answer you need for your final guest headcount.

Frequently asked questions