Declining Wedding Invites: What Percentage Of Guests Say No?

When it comes to wedding planning, one of the first tasks on the checklist is creating your guest list. It's a tricky part of the process, as the number of guests affects almost every subsequent detail, from the venue to the budget. A common rule of thumb is that around 10-20% of invited guests will decline, but this is not always the case, and couples can find themselves in the tricky position of having more guests than their venue can accommodate. So, what's the best approach to take when it comes to wedding invites?

Expect 15-20% of guests to decline

It's natural to worry about the number of guests who will attend your wedding. While it's impossible to predict the exact number of guests who will RSVP "yes" or "no", you can expect around 15-20% of invited guests to decline your wedding invitation. This means that if you invite 100 guests, you can anticipate around 80-85 people to attend.

However, it's crucial to understand that this is not a foolproof method, and several factors can influence the acceptance rate. One significant factor is the wedding location. If you're planning a destination wedding or most of your guests will need to travel, you may see a higher number of declines. Other factors include the wedding date, with popular wedding seasons or dates coinciding with other events like graduations or proms potentially leading to more declines.

To maximize the number of positive RSVPs, consider sending out invitations early, especially if you're giving your guests a positive response deadline. This will allow your guests to work around their schedules and make necessary arrangements. Additionally, be mindful of guests who may have difficulty with technology if you're collecting RSVPs online. Follow up with these guests or provide alternative response options to ensure their participation.

When creating your guest list, categorize your guests into groups such as A, B, and C. A-listers are people you absolutely must invite, no matter what. For those on the B or C lists, you may consider sending invitations in batches. If more people from your "must invite" list decline than expected, you can then invite guests from the B or C lists while still maintaining a reasonable timeframe for responses.

Remember, it's always better to be prepared for different scenarios. While you may expect 15-20% of guests to decline, it's essential to have a plan in case a higher number of guests accept. Ensure that your venue can accommodate your maximum guest list and that you have the necessary budget to host everyone. If you receive more positive RSVPs than anticipated, you may need to make adjustments to your budget or venue setup to accommodate the extra guests.

Plan for 100% attendance

Planning a wedding is stressful, and one of the most challenging aspects is deciding on the guest list. It's important to be realistic about how many people you can accommodate and how many you can afford to host. The general rule of thumb is that about 80% of invited guests will attend, but this is not always the case. To plan for 100% attendance, here are some strategies to consider:

Know Your Venue's Capacity

Before finalising your guest list, be sure to check with your venue to understand the maximum capacity, including staff and vendors. This will give you a clear number to work with and ensure that you don't over-invite.

Create a Prioritised Guest List

Divide your guest list into A, B, and C categories. The A-list should include people you absolutely must invite, while the B and C lists are for those you can afford to host if there is space. This strategy ensures that you focus on inviting those who are most important to you first.

Send Invitations Early

Give your guests ample notice by sending out invitations early. This simple step can increase the number of positive RSVPs as it allows your guests to plan their schedules accordingly. It's also a good idea to request that guests return their RSVP cards earlier than your vendors need final headcounts, giving you some buffer time.

Follow Up on RSVPs

Be persistent in following up with guests who have not yet responded. A casual text or phone call can be a friendly reminder, and it will help you get a clearer picture of your final guest count.

Consider Your Guest's Circumstances

When crafting your guest list, consider who may have issues responding or attending. For example, elderly guests or those with young children may be less likely to attend. Similarly, if you have tech-averse relatives, consider following up with them to ensure they can respond accurately.

Be Mindful of Your Budget

When planning for 100% attendance, your budget may need adjusting. Consider your priorities and where you can make cuts if needed. For example, you could reduce add-ons like canapés or switch to a less expensive meal option like a buffet.

Planning for 100% attendance at your wedding can be challenging, but with careful consideration and flexibility, you can ensure that your special day is memorable for all the right reasons.

Create a priority guest list

It's impossible to predict how many guests will RSVP yes or no, but it's important to be prepared for all invitees to accept. On average, between 10% and 20% of guests will RSVP "no" to a wedding, but this can vary a lot. In 2023, the average wedding guest list size was 115 people.

To create a priority guest list, or an "A-list", consider the following:

• Make a fantasy guest list: Write out an actual list of all the guests you'd ideally like to invite, including singles, couples, and friends with plus ones. This will give you a more accurate number than just estimating.
• Prioritize must-have guests: Identify the people who absolutely need to be there. These are usually close family members and friends.
• Consider relationships: Ask yourself if you will still be in touch with certain guests in five years. If the answer is no or unsure, consider leaving them off the priority list, especially if cuts need to be made.
• Think about logistics: If you have a venue in mind, check its capacity and keep that in mind when finalizing your guest list. You want to ensure that your guests are comfortable and have enough space to move around and dance.
• Plan for plus ones: Decide on your policy for plus ones. It is common to automatically invite those in your wedding party, married guests, engaged guests, and those in serious long-term relationships. You may also want to make exceptions for guests who won't know anyone else at the wedding.
• Group guests into categories: Create an A-list of must-have guests and a B-list of guests you'd enjoy having but could also celebrate without. This will help you manage numbers and send out invitations in batches.

Send invites early

Sending out your wedding invites early is a great way to get a head start on your wedding planning. It gives your guests ample time to respond and helps you to get a more accurate idea of your guest count. This is especially important if you're working with a tight guest list and want to ensure that you don't exceed your venue's capacity.

By sending your invites early, you can take advantage of the typical wedding RSVP timeline, where guests tend to respond with their attendance plans within a few weeks to a month. This gives you a good buffer period to account for any last-minute changes or unexpected responses. It's a good idea to request early RSVPs, especially if you're working with a shorter timeline.

Additionally, sending invites early can help you identify any potential issues with your guest list. For example, if you have guests who are elderly, have health issues, or are travelling from far, they may need more time to plan their attendance. By giving them an early heads-up, you can increase the chances of them being able to attend.

Another benefit of sending invites early is that it allows you to spread out your wedding expenses. Wedding planning can be costly, and sending out invites early can help you manage your budget more effectively. You can also use this opportunity to create a wedding website and include the link in your invites, giving your guests all the information they need in one place.

Lastly, sending invites early gives you a chance to follow up with guests who may be slow to respond. It's not uncommon for some guests to miss the RSVP deadline or forget to respond altogether. By sending invites early, you can give yourself some leeway to reach out to these guests and confirm their attendance plans.

In summary, sending your wedding invites early is a strategic move that can help you manage your guest list, venue capacity, budget, and overall planning process more effectively. It gives your guests ample time to respond and helps you make more informed decisions as you plan your special day.

Be persistent with RSVPs

It's important to be persistent with your wedding RSVPs, as guest count is an incredibly important factor when determining every other detail for your wedding. Here are some tips to ensure you get responses from all your guests:

Set an Early RSVP Deadline

Ask your guests to return their RSVP cards two weeks to a month earlier than your vendors need final headcounts. This will give you some buffer time to follow up with any guests who haven't responded. It's also a good idea to pass on the RSVP-tracking task to your wedding planner if you have one.

Follow Up Directly with Guests

For those guests who haven't responded by the deadline, reach out to them directly. A casual text or phone call can be a friendly reminder to RSVP. If you're using online RSVPs, some guests may not be comfortable with the platform, so consider offering both online and offline options for responses.

Create a Notes Section on Your Spreadsheet

In the midst of a global pandemic, it's important to be mindful of any circumstances that may impact your guests' ability to attend. Create a notes section on your guest spreadsheet to include information about potentially restrictive factors, such as age, health issues, unvaccinated children, elderly guests, travel restrictions, and compromising professions like healthcare workers. This will help you anticipate any last-minute changes and plan accordingly.

Keep Your Wedding Website Up-to-Date

It's a good idea to set up your wedding website early on and prompt guests to check it regularly. Let them know that you would appreciate an early heads-up regarding their attendance, as it will help you plan more effectively.

Draft Your Guest List ASAP

As soon as you've celebrated your engagement, start drafting your guest list. Write out a list of all the guests you'd like to invite, including singles, couples, and friends with plus ones. You may be surprised by how different the actual number is from your initial estimate. Mark your guests by groups such as A, B, and C, with A-listers being the people you absolutely must invite. Consider sending "save the date" cards only to those on the A-list, waiting for their confirmation before reaching out to your B and C-list guests.

Frequently asked questions