Franklin Dean
Wedding speeches are traditionally given after the wedding breakfast, but modern couples are increasingly choosing to do things differently, with some opting for speeches before the meal so that guests can relax and enjoy their food. The typical running order for wedding speeches can vary depending on religion, culture, or personal preference, but the main objective is to ensure that guests are able to pay attention and enjoy the speeches. The traditional order of speakers is the father of the bride, followed by the groom and then the best man, but nowadays it is common for the bride, the mother of the bride, the mother or father of the groom, and the maid of honour to also give speeches.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Timing | Before or after the wedding breakfast/dinner |
| Order of Speakers | Father/mother of the bride, followed by the groom, and then the best man/woman |
| Content | Welcome and thank-you to the guests, well-wishes to absentees, marriage wisdom, praise for the bride, anecdotes about the groom, etc. |
| Length | 3-5 minutes for a toast; 10 minutes if the only speaker |
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Wedding speech order
Wedding speeches are traditionally given after the wedding breakfast, but modern couples are increasingly choosing to have speeches before the meal. This can be a good option if you have a nervous speaker in your wedding party, as it allows them to relax and enjoy their food. If you don't want to do all the speeches before the meal, another option is to have them between the main course and dessert.
There is no set of rules about who needs to make a speech anymore, but traditionally, the father of the bride speaks first. This is because he is usually the host and has paid for at least part of the wedding. His speech should include a welcome and thanks to the guests, a toast to absent friends and family, and a toast to the newlyweds. It should also include some funny and heart-warming stories about his daughter.
Next to speak is the groom. His speech should include a response to the toast by the bride's father, thanks to the bride's parents for hosting the wedding and welcoming him into their family, and thanks to his own parents. He should also thank the wedding party, hand out any thank-you gifts, and compliment the bridesmaids. He might also want to say a few words in praise of his new bride.
The best man speaks last. His speech should be injected with humour, banter, and anecdotes about the groom.
Other people who may speak include the mother of the bride, the maid of honour, and the bride herself. In the case of same-sex weddings, one or both members of the couple may give a speech.
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Father of the bride
The father of the bride's speech is usually the first of the wedding. It is his chance to welcome the guests, thank everyone for coming, and formally welcome the groom into his family. It is also traditional for the father of the bride to act as the host and 'founder of the feast'. The father of the bride should also thank the hosts and anyone who helped with the wedding preparations.
The father of the bride's speech should include a toast to absent friends and family and conclude with a toast to the newlyweds. It is also a great opportunity to share funny and heart-warming stories about his daughter. The speech should be heartfelt and entertaining, balancing emotion with humour. It should be memorable, unique, and, most importantly, personal. It should include genuine expressions of love, pride, and gratitude for his daughter and her partner.
The father of the bride may also want to introduce himself and his relationship to the bride, and tell anecdotes about her childhood. He could also mention how the couple met and what he likes or admires about the groom. The father of the bride may also want to express his feelings about their marriage and offer advice or words of wisdom.
The father of the bride's speech is usually followed by the groom's speech and then the best man's speech. However, this order is not always set in stone, and modern weddings often include speeches from the bride, the mother of the bride, the mother/father of the groom, and the maid of honour.
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Groom's speech
The groom's speech is usually the second speech in the order of wedding speeches, coming after the father of the bride's speech and before the best man's speech. It is an opportunity to express gratitude to friends and family for their support, share stories and memories, and thank everyone involved in planning the wedding. Here are some tips for crafting and delivering a thoughtful and engaging groom's speech:
Structure and Content
Begin your speech with a warm welcome and thank your guests for attending. Be sure to acknowledge both sets of parents, the wedding party, and anyone else who played a significant role in the wedding planning. Share a personal story or anecdote about your bride, adding a heartfelt touch to your speech. End your speech with a simple toast, inviting everyone to join in.
Delivery
It is recommended to keep your speech concise, aiming for 5 to 10 minutes in length. This duration strikes a balance between expressing gratitude, sharing anecdotes, and maintaining your guests' attention. While light-hearted humour is appropriate, ensure it is tasteful and does not overshadow the heartfelt moments. Practice your speech multiple times beforehand to build confidence and familiarity with the content. Consider memorizing key points and using small note cards as a backup. On the wedding day, take deep breaths, speak slowly, and make deliberate eye contact with different guests throughout the room. Remember, your audience is supportive and wants you to succeed in this special moment.
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Best man's speech
The best man's speech is often the most anticipated and remembered part of a wedding. It is a chance to celebrate your friend's marriage with humour and thoughtful anecdotes. Here is a guide to help you craft a memorable and engaging best man's speech.
Structure and Content
Start with a strong opener. Introduce yourself and explain your connection to the couple, especially the groom. You can share a joke or a quote to make your speech engaging from the start. A lively anecdote about your relationship with the groom or a humorous incident from the wedding day can also be a great way to begin.
The body of your speech should focus on the groom. Include humorous memories, anecdotes, and light-hearted observations about the day. You can talk about the groom's quirks, your friendship, or his journey to finding love. Avoid cliches and steer clear of making jokes that might make anyone uncomfortable. Keep the speech simple and logical, and don't jump around in the timeline.
End your speech with a heartfelt toast to the newlyweds, asking everyone to raise a glass and offer their well wishes. You can use a template, such as: "Everyone, please join me in raising a glass to such a wonderful couple. I wish you a lifetime of peace, love and happiness. Love you guys!"
Length and Timing
The best man's speech is typically around 10 minutes long. It is usually the last speech of the night and comes after the father of the bride and the groom's speeches. However, some couples may change the order, so be prepared to adjust if needed.
Tips
- Keep your speech positive and entertaining.
- Don't rattle off a long list of thank-yous; instead, spread them out among the speakers.
- Inject humour and banter, but be mindful of the audience.
- Look at the happy couple when you speak about them, and don't forget to close by paying tribute to the bride.
- Be mindful of the length; don't go on too long and risk losing the attention of the room.
- Most importantly, enjoy yourself! If you look like you're having fun, your audience will too.
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Timing
The timing of wedding speeches is usually dependent on the wedding couple's preferences. However, the traditional timing for wedding speeches is after the wedding breakfast or dinner. This is to ensure that guests can relax and enjoy their meal without the pressure of public speaking looming.
Some couples opt to have the speeches before the wedding feast, allowing nervous speakers to relax and enjoy their food. Another option is to have the speeches between the main course and dessert, which prevents guests from sitting through a tedious block of speeches with grumbling stomachs.
It is also important to consider the timing of the toasts. The most formal toast, usually given by the best man, occurs after all the wedding guests have been provided with a glass of champagne. At a sit-down dinner, this takes place as soon as everyone is seated, while at a cocktail reception, it is made after the couple enters the reception. This toast should be brief, lasting only a minute or two.
The length of individual speeches may vary depending on the number of speakers. If there is only one speaker, their speech might need to be longer (up to 10 minutes). In contrast, if there are multiple speakers, each speech may only need to be a few minutes long (3-5 minutes is common). It is essential to check with the wedding couple who else will be speaking to estimate the appropriate length for your speech.
Overall, the timing of wedding speeches can be flexible and tailored to the couple's preferences. However, it is crucial to decide on an order and timing that ensures the guests' attention and enjoyment.
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Frequently asked questions
The traditional order of wedding speeches is: father of the bride, groom, and best man.
Yes, the order of wedding speeches can be changed to suit your needs and preferences.
The father of the bride, the groom, and the best man typically give speeches. However, modern weddings often include speeches from the bride, mother of the bride, mother/father of the groom, maid of honour, and anyone else the couple chooses.
Wedding speeches are typically given during the reception, either before or after dinner. Some couples opt for speeches before the meal so that guests can relax and enjoy their food.
Wedding speeches typically include a welcome to the guests, a thank you to the hosts, and a toast to the newlyweds. It's a good idea to spread out the thank-yous among all the speakers. The best man's speech is often filled with humour and anecdotes about the groom.
