Having Two Maid Of Honors: Is It Possible?

Choosing a maid of honor can be a difficult decision, especially if you have multiple people in mind for the role. But the good news is that you don't have to choose just one! It is your wedding, and you can have two maids of honor or even more if that is what you want. Having multiple maids of honor can be beneficial as it means more hands on deck and extra love and support throughout the planning process and on your big day. However, it is important to consider the dynamics between your maids of honor to avoid any potential conflict and ensure they have clear and distinct roles and responsibilities.

It's your wedding, so you make the rules

It can be a tough decision to choose just one maid of honour, especially if you have multiple people in your life who are important to you and have supported you through your wedding journey. So, why not have two? Or three? It's up to you!

Having two maids of honour can be beneficial, as it gives you more support and helps with the workload. They can divide the duties and responsibilities, such as planning events, coordinating the bridal party, and providing emotional and logistical support. It's a good idea to give them different roles and responsibilities to avoid any overlap or confusion.

To make them both feel special, you can have them wear different dresses or outfits from the other bridesmaids, or add unique accessories like a glitzy belt or a special headpiece.

However, there can also be challenges when having two maids of honour. It's important to choose people who have personalities that mesh well together, as clashing personalities or jealousy between them may cause conflict. Clear communication is key, and it's a good idea to set expectations and duties for each of them in advance.

So, if you want to have two maids of honour, go for it! Just remember to be mindful of their dynamics and give them distinct roles to avoid any issues.

You can have a maid and a matron of honour

It is perfectly fine to have two maids of honour at your wedding. It is your wedding, and you make the rules. If you are close with two people and can't choose between them, then make them both maids of honour.

If one of your maids of honour is married, you can make a distinction by calling the single one your maid of honour and the married one your matron of honour. Brides have been doing this for decades. If neither are married, then they will both share the same "maid of honour" title. If both are married, then technically you will have two matrons of honour.

As soon as you ask them to be in your wedding party, let them know that they can share all of the maid of honour responsibilities together. They can even give a speech together at your wedding reception if they feel comfortable doing so.

If your two maids of honour do not know each other, it is up to you to get them acquainted months before the big day. Take them out for dinner and drinks and start conversations about things that you know they both love.

You can let them decide for themselves who will plan what. It is best to encourage them to work together and plan your events as a team. But if they are very different people, it might be best to have each of them plan a different event. For example, one can be in charge of the bachelorette party, and the other can plan the bridal shower.

On the day of the wedding, let them walk down the aisle together. That way, they will know that they are truly equals in your heart.

Make sure they get along

Having two maids of honour is becoming more common, and it can be a great way to honour multiple important people in your life. However, it's important to make sure that your maids of honour can get along, especially as they will be working closely together and will both be supporting you. Here are some tips to help make sure your maids of honour get along:

Choose the right people

It's important to select maids of honour who are supportive and who make you feel calm. Pick people who you know will show up for you and support you throughout your wedding adventure. It may be helpful to ask yourself why each person is important to you and what role they have played and will continue to play in your life.

Be clear about duties and responsibilities

To avoid any confusion or overlap, be very clear and specific with duties and responsibilities from the get-go. Try to give each maid of honour different roles and responsibilities so they don't step on each other's toes. For example, one could be in charge of the bachelorette party, while the other plans the bridal shower.

Foster a positive attitude

A positive attitude is contagious! Encourage your maids of honour to radiate positivity and look for the silver linings in any situation. Remind them that this day is about you and your happiness, and that you are grateful for their support.

Encourage open communication

Open and honest communication is key to any relationship. Encourage your maids of honour to listen to each other with the intent to understand, rather than just replying. Remind them to make appropriate comments, include references to each other's statements in their responses, and refrain from interrupting.

Show interest and celebrate achievements

Encourage your maids of honour to show interest in each other's pursuits, work, families, and lives outside of wedding planning. Celebrating each other's achievements and supporting each other through rough times can help build stronger connections.

Keep an open mind

Remind your maids of honour to respect each other's differences and to keep an open mind. They may have different viewpoints or beliefs, but that doesn't mean they can't get along. Encourage them to listen to each other without interrupting and to discuss their differences respectfully.

By following these tips and fostering an environment of support, respect, and open communication, you can help ensure that your maids of honour get along and work together harmoniously to make your special day even more memorable.

Divide duties fairly

Having two maids of honour can be beneficial for the bride as it means there are two people to divide up the long list of duties. It is important, however, to be clear and specific with duties from the get-go so that your two maids of honour don't step on each other's toes.

One way to divide duties is to give each maid of honour different roles and responsibilities that play to their strengths and interests. For example, one could be in charge of the bachelorette party and the other could plan the bridal shower. If one of your maids of honour is underage and the other is over 21, you could ask the younger one to focus on the bridal shower while the other helps with the bachelorette festivities.

A long-distance maid of honour may be helpful for your bachelorette party but won't be able to help with tasks that require their physical presence, such as stuffing envelopes or assembling favours. If one of your maids of honour lives nearby, these are the kinds of tasks they could take on.

If you're worried about decision-making and who is responsible for what, it's a good idea to encourage your maids of honour to work together and plan your pre-wedding events as a team. However, if they are very different people, it might be best to have each of them plan a different event. For example, if one is a party animal, they should probably plan your bachelorette, and if the other is great at planning brunches, they could handle the bridal shower.

Remember, it's your wedding, so you make the rules!

Show appreciation for each maid of honour

Yes, you can absolutely have two maids of honor! It is your wedding, so you make the rules. If you are close with two people and can't choose between them, go ahead and make them both your maid of honor.

Now, here are some ways to show appreciation for each of your maids of honor:

Dress them in a different shade, length, or pattern

A subtle yet effective way to make your maids of honor stand out is by putting them in a different shade, length, or pattern of dress. You could have their dresses made in a shade darker or lighter than the other bridesmaids, or even in an entirely different color. If your bridesmaids are wearing short, flirty dresses, try dressing your maids of honor in elegant floor-length styles. You could also put them in a pattern that coordinates with the other solid bridesmaid dresses.

Give them bigger bouquets

Give your maids of honor more flowers to hold! Design unique bouquets just for them to show how much they mean to you. You can also try giving them different colors of flowers to add a pop of color.

Shower them with gifts

Give your maids of honor something extra special. For example, if you're giving all your bridesmaids matching earrings, give your maids of honor those earrings along with a beautiful coordinating necklace.

Wear matching shoes

Wear matching shoes with your maids of honor. You'll be able to get some great pictures together, and it reinforces the special bond you share.

Give them their own reception entrance

Have your maids of honor make their own dedicated reception entrances to songs that have special significance to you and them.

Highlight them in your thank-you speech

Be sure to mention your maids of honor in your thank-you speech. Publicly recognizing all their hard work is a great way to validate them and let everyone know how much you care about them.

Gift them luxury beauty products, small leather goods, unique jewelry, fragrances, or fancy accessories

Your maids of honor will feel pampered with these thoughtful gifts.

Frequently asked questions