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Wedding invitation etiquette can be a tricky business, and it's easy to get lost in the details. One of the most important things to consider is how to address the envelopes, especially the inner envelope, which is more informal and allows you to be more creative. The inner envelope is smaller than the outer envelope and traditionally only includes the titles and last names of the guests. However, contemporary etiquette allows for more flexibility, and you can include first names or even nicknames for close family. When addressing a married couple with the same last name, a formal approach would be Mr. and Mrs. followed by the last name, while a contemporary approach might be to use their first names. For unmarried couples living at the same address, both names are usually included on one line, with the person you are closest to listed first. Single women are addressed as Miss or Ms. depending on their age and marital status, while single men are addressed as Mr. if they are over 18. Including and guest for plus ones is also an option, and you can use the inner envelope to specify this.
What You'll Learn
Married couple, same last name
When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with the same last name, there are a few etiquette rules to follow. Here are four to six paragraphs with detailed, direct, and instructive content on this topic:
The outer envelope, which is the envelope that will be stamped and mailed, is typically more formal and includes the full names and titles of the couple. For a heterosexual married couple with the same last name, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith". If you would like to include the wife's first name, you can write "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Smith". This format is also suitable for same-sex married couples; simply indicate the appropriate prefixes, such as "Mrs. Jane Smith and Mrs. Rachel Smith".
The inner envelope, which is placed inside the outer envelope and holds the invitation, is usually more informal. For a married couple with the same last name, you can address the inner envelope as "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" or use their first names, such as "John and Jane". If you want to be more traditional, you can include the husband's first name and the wife's first name, such as "Mr. John and Mrs. Jane".
It is important to note that some modern women may prefer to have their full name included on the invitation rather than being addressed only as "Mrs." with their husband's name. In this case, you can address the outer envelope as "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Smith", and the inner envelope as "Mr. Smith and Mrs. Smith" or "John and Jane".
If you are only using one envelope, combine the outer and inner envelope formats. For example, you can address the envelope as "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" or "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Smith". This envelope will then be stamped and mailed directly to the couple.
Remember to double-check the spelling of the couple's names and ensure that you are using the correct titles and formats according to their preferences. Wedding invitation etiquette has evolved, and it is essential to respect the choices and identities of your guests.
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Married couple, different last names
When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with different last names, there are a few etiquette rules to follow. Firstly, it is important to include both people's full names on the outer envelope, with their titles ("Mr.", "Mrs.", "Ms.") and last names. The woman's name is usually written first, followed by the man's, but you can also list them alphabetically or based on who you are closest to. Here is an example:
"Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes and Mr. Cyan Matthews"
For the inner envelope, you have a bit more flexibility. You can use their titles and last names, or just their first names, especially if you are very close to the couple. Here are some examples:
"Mrs. Brookes and Mr. Matthews" or "Gwyneth and Cyan"
If one or both of the married couple have a distinguished title, such as a doctor, military rank, or reverend, this should be included in the address. The person with the distinguished title is usually listed first, followed by their spouse. Here is an example for a couple where the woman is a doctor:
Outer envelope: "Dr. Barbara Hanson and Mr. James Werner"
Inner envelope: "Dr. Hanson and Mr. Werner" or "Barbara and James"
It is also worth noting that the inner envelope is becoming less common these days, and you may choose to send wedding invitations with only an outer envelope. In this case, simply focus on properly addressing the outer envelope as mentioned above.
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Single person with a plus one
Wedding invitation etiquette can be a tricky business, especially when it comes to the inclusion of plus-ones. Here is a guide to help you navigate this process.
Outer Envelope
The outer envelope is the more formal of the two and is where the mailing address, postage, and return address go. It is best to use titles and full names here. If you are inviting a single person with a plus-one, the outer envelope should be addressed to the guest you are inviting, with their title and full name. For example:
> Mr. Tyler Morris
Inner Envelope
The inner envelope is more informal and includes the invitation, RSVP card, and RSVP envelope. It is placed inside the outer envelope to ensure the invitation arrives in pristine condition. The inner envelope is also useful for clarifying who is invited, such as plus-ones. If you do not know the name of the plus-one, the inner envelope can simply be addressed as:
> Mr. Tyler Morris and Guest
If you do know the name of the plus-one, you can include them by writing:
> Mr. Tyler Morris and Ms. Emma Bishop
Additional Tips
- It is best to avoid abbreviations and nicknames.
- If you are having a casual wedding, you may be able to get away with a less formal addressing style, such as leaving out titles or using only first names.
- If you are unsure of a guest's pronouns or preferred title, it is best to ask them or avoid titles altogether.
- If you are only using one envelope, be sure to clearly address all invitees upfront.
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Unmarried couple
When addressing an envelope to an unmarried couple, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it's important to use the correct titles or prefixes for each person, such as "Mr." for a male guest and "Ms." for a female guest. You can also use "Mx." for a non-binary guest or ask for their preferred personal title.
For unmarried couples living together, you have two options for how to format their names. You can list their names alphabetically by last name on separate lines, for example:
> Mr. Ross Geller
> Ms. Rachel Green
Or, you can list both names on the same line, starting with the person you are closest to. If you are equally close to both, go in alphabetical order:
> Ms. Rachel Green and Mr. Ross Geller
If the unmarried couple does not live together, it is best to send separate invitations to each guest.
When addressing the inner envelope, you can use titles and last names or just first names if you are very close with the couple. For example:
> Ms. Green and Mr. Geller
> Rachel and Ross
Remember to double-check the spelling of your guests' names and that the names on the inner and outer envelopes match up before sealing the envelope.
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Single person with a title
When addressing a single person with a title, the outer envelope should include their title and full name. For example, "Doctor Erica Smiles" or "Dr. Erica Smiles". The inner envelope can then be more informal, with just their first name or initials, for example, "Erica" or "ES".
If the person with a title is a doctor, the same rules apply as above. However, if they are married, the outer envelope could be addressed to "Dr. [Name] and Mr./Mrs. [Name]" or "Dr. [Name] and their partner's title and full name". The inner envelope could then be more informal, for example, "[Name] and [Name/initials of their partner]".
If the person with a title is a judge, the outer envelope could be addressed to "The Honorable [Name] and Mr./Mrs. [Name]" or "Judge [Name] and Mr./Mrs. [Name]". The inner envelope could simply be addressed to "Judge [Name] and their partner's name or initials".
For military personnel, the outer envelope could be addressed to their title, name, and that of their spouse, for example, "Lieutenant Jonathan Kelly, US Navy and Mrs. Jane Kelly". The inner envelope could then be addressed more informally, for example, "Lieutenant Kelly, US Navy and Mrs. Kelly".
In all cases, the outer envelope should be formal and include the recipient's full name and title, while the inner envelope can be more informal and may include just their first name or initials.
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Frequently asked questions
The inner envelope is optional and is placed inside the outer envelope, which is stamped and addressed. It includes the names of the invitees and contains the invitation inside.
For a heterosexual couple, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs. [husband's first name] [shared last name]," while the inner envelope can be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs. [shared last name]" or " [husband's first name] and [wife's first name]." For same-sex couples, either name can go first.
For a heterosexual couple, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Ms. [wife's first name] [wife's last name] and Mr. [husband's first name] [husband's last name]," while the inner envelope can be addressed as "Ms. [wife's last name] and Mr. [husband's last name]" or " [wife's first name] and [husband's first name]."
The outer envelope can be addressed to both people on one line, listing the person you are closest to first: "Mr. [first name of person you're closest to] [their last name] and Ms. [first name of other person] [their last name]." The inner envelope can be addressed as " [first name of person you're closest to] and [first name of other person]" or use their surnames.
If you know the name of the plus one, the outer envelope can be addressed to the invitee only, while the inner envelope can include the plus one's name: " [invitee's name] and [plus one's name]." If you don't know the name of the plus one, the inner envelope can simply state " [invitee's name] and guest."
The inner envelope is more informal than the outer envelope. It should include the titles and last names of the specific people invited, making it clear who is and isn't invited. First names can also be included, especially for close family.
