Junior Rasmussen
Wedding toasts are a time-honoured tradition and a special way to include loved ones in the celebration. While the order of toasts is flexible, it's important to plan ahead to ensure a seamless flow. Typically, the father of the bride speaks first, followed by the groom's family, including the father and/or mother of the groom. The maid of honour and best man usually go next, with the best man often kicking off the wedding speeches. The couple may also choose to say a few words, expressing their gratitude and excitement about married life. Toasts are ideally given when guests are seated without plates, before dinner or immediately after. While there's no set number, it's best to keep them concise and entertaining, with a mix of sweet and funny moments.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Number of toasts | 8-15 |
| Length of each toast | 2-7 minutes |
| Total length of toasts | 20-30 minutes |
| Best man's toast | Shortly after everyone is seated |
| Maid of honor's toast | Immediately following the best man's speech |
| Host's toast | Bride's parents |
| Couple's toast | After the host's toast or during the cocktail hour |
| Parent's toast | Welcomes and thanks the guests, raises a glass to the couple |
| Time of toasts | Before dinner or immediately after |
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What You'll Learn
Best man
The best man's speech is an important part of the wedding reception and is usually one of the most anticipated and memorable moments of the day. While the order of speeches may vary, the best man often kicks off the wedding toasts and speeches, shortly after everyone is seated at the reception.
As the best man, your speech should start with an introduction and a congratulatory message to the newlyweds. Share a story about the groom and offer some kind words about their spouse. You can include a tasteful joke or two, but be mindful to keep your speech on track. It's a good idea to talk about your feelings and your emotional connection to the couple. Avoid falling into the trap of nonstop inside jokes and stories.
Your speech can include anecdotes and funny stories, but be mindful to keep the attention off yourself and focus on the couple. You can share your first impression of the bride or groom, talk about how the couple met, or share a story from their childhood. If you're unsure about what to include, preparation is key, and it's always a good idea to be yourself. Remember, the audience is on your side, and they want you to succeed.
The best man's speech usually comes before the maid of honour's speech, but the order can be flexible. Some couples may opt to have the maid of honour speak first, followed by the best man. Ultimately, it is up to the couple to decide the order of speeches, and it's important to communicate the order to all participants beforehand to ensure a seamless flow during the reception.
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Maid of honour
The maid of honour plays an important role in the wedding day, and one of her biggest responsibilities is delivering a toast for the reception, honouring the bride and groom.
There is no set order for wedding toasts, but traditionally, the best man kicks off the wedding speeches by giving a toast shortly after everyone is seated at their reception tables. The maid of honour then takes the mic, followed by the father of the bride and/or mother of the bride, and then the couple.
If there are two maids of honour, they can give a joint speech, sharing memories and playing off each other. It is also a good idea to separate the toasts so that guests remain interested.
The maid of honour should start by welcoming everyone and throwing in a joke, before thanking those who made the day possible. She should then introduce herself and her connection to the bride and/or groom. The focus of the speech should be on the bride, with the maid of honour telling a heartwarming or funny story from their friendship. She should also reiterate her joy in seeing her friend get married and refer to special memories. The final few lines should be about wishing the couple well and proposing a toast to them both.
A maid of honour speech should be between four and six minutes, and it should be written down and practised ahead of time.
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Father of the bride
The father of the bride's toast is a time-honoured tradition at wedding receptions. While the order of speeches may vary depending on preferences and circumstances, the father of the bride's toast traditionally comes first. Here are some tips and guidelines for the father of the bride's toast:
Structure and Content
Begin by introducing yourself, your relation to the bride, and welcoming the guests. It is common to share a sweet, funny, or intriguing story or memory related to the couple or the wedding. This could be your first impression of meeting the groom, how the couple met, or a childhood memory involving the bride. You can also pay tribute to someone special who is unable to attend the wedding. Shift the focus of the speech to the newlyweds and their future together by addressing them directly. Wish them health and happiness, and feel free to include a short quote.
Gratitude and Thanks
The father of the bride's toast is an opportunity to express gratitude and welcome the groom into the family. Raise a glass to the couple, guests, and other family members, such as the grandparents. Thank the guests for attending, and if you are hosting the wedding, you may also want to thank the bridal party, family, and guests for their support and presence.
Sentiment and Well Wishes
End your toast on a sentimental note by wishing the couple well. You can include heartfelt sentiments, emotions, and even a touch of humour to guide your words. Share your excitement for their future and new life together.
Timing and Delivery
Traditionally, the father of the bride's toast takes place at the beginning of the reception, after everyone is seated and before dinner is served. Keep in mind that the toast should be concise and not too lengthy to hold the guests' attention. Aim for around 5 minutes, and ensure it is well-rehearsed and structured.
Remember, while tradition guides the order and content of the toast, feel free to personalise it to make it unique and memorable. The most important aspect is to celebrate the newlyweds and create a warm and joyful atmosphere for everyone to cherish.
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Couple
As the happy couple, you may want to say a few brief words to kickstart the reception meal and thank your guests for coming. You can also use this opportunity to thank your relatives and wedding party for their support and celebration. You can ask whoever you want to give a toast, but it's usually those closest to you, including your parents, best man, maid of honour, and each other.
If you want to keep the focus on you as a couple, you can opt to give your toast during the cocktail hour, before dinner is served. This way, you can thank your guests, wedding party, parents, and each other without interrupting the flow of the music and party during the reception.
You may also want to consider the number of toasts and their length. Limiting the number of toasts to around six and keeping them short and sweet at around 2-5 minutes each can help maintain your guests' attention. You can also stagger the toasts throughout the night, with a few between the appetiser and main course and a few more between the main course and dessert.
Remember, it's your special day, so feel free to customise the order and format of the toasts to suit your preferences and relationships.
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Groom's family
The order of toasts and speeches at a wedding reception can vary depending on personal preferences, family situations, and cultural traditions. However, here is a suggested order of toasts focused on the groom's family:
- Father of the Groom: The father of the groom traditionally speaks after the father of the bride. His speech can include a toast to the couple, guests, and grandparents. He may also welcome the bride into the family and share a story or memory about the groom.
- Mother of the Groom: Similarly, the mother of the groom can offer a toast to the newlyweds, guests, and family. She might also share a story or express her happiness and well-wishes for the couple.
- Groom's Parents Together: In some cases, the groom's parents may choose to give a joint speech, offering their blessings and sharing their joy. They can also include a few light-hearted jokes or anecdotes about the groom's childhood.
- Other Family Members: Depending on the family dynamics, other close family members of the groom, such as siblings, grandparents, or cousins, may also wish to share a few words. These toasts can be shorter and more informal, expressing their love and support for the couple.
It is important to note that the order and content of the toasts can be flexible. The groom's family may also choose to give their speeches during the rehearsal dinner, especially if they feel more comfortable in a more intimate setting. As always, it is essential to communicate the order of toasts ahead of time to ensure a smooth and well-coordinated reception.
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Frequently asked questions
There is no set order for toasts at a wedding reception, but traditionally, the father of the bride speaks first, followed by the groom's family, then the maid of honour, and finally, the best man.
The bride and groom can ask whoever they want to give a toast. Usually, this includes parents, the best man, and the maid of honour.
The best time for toasts is when all the guests are seated and do not have any food in front of them. Before dinner is served or immediately after it has been cleared away is ideal.
There is no set number, but toasts should be kept short and sweet. Each toast should last a maximum of 2-4 minutes, with the entire toasting session lasting no more than 20-30 minutes.
Wedding toasts are a way for loved ones to share their favourite memories of the newlywed couple. They are also an opportunity for the couple to thank their guests and bridal party.
