George Boyle
Wedding speeches are a fun and heartfelt way to celebrate the happy couple on their big day. They are usually given by close friends and family, and sometimes the couple themselves. These speeches can be given at the rehearsal dinner, during the ceremony, or at the wedding reception. The traditional order of speakers is the father of the bride, the father of the groom, the groom, the maid of honour, and the best man. However, this is not set in stone, and couples can choose their own order or do away with speeches altogether. Speeches are usually given during the meal at the reception, with a length of four to five minutes, and are often followed by a toast.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| When to give the speech | During the meal at the wedding reception, typically about 3/4 of the way through dinner as guests are finishing up their meal and still seated |
| Who gives the speech | The father of the bride is first in the traditional wedding speech order. Other speakers include the father of the groom, the groom (or couple), the maid of honor, the best man, the mother of the bride, the mother of the groom, wedding party members, grandparents, close friends, and other family members. |
| Length of the speech | 2-5 minutes. Better to be fondly remembered for saying just a few words than to be remembered with disdain for droning on. |
| Content of the speech | Heartfelt or hilarious, wedding speeches remind everyone why they're there: to celebrate two people in love. They can include jokes, anecdotes, and stories about the couple. |
| Tone of the speech | Sentimental, personal, and intimate. |
| Purpose of the speech | To thank everyone involved: the bridal party, family, and guests. Couples may also express their excitement about starting their new married life together. |
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What You'll Learn
Wedding speech structure and timing
Wedding speeches are an integral part of a couple's big day, and they usually take place during the meal at the wedding reception. The traditional order of speakers is the father of the bride, the parents of the groom, the maid of honour, and the best man. However, this is not set in stone, and there are options for more modern wedding speech orders. For instance, the couple may wish to say a few brief words to kickstart the reception meal and thank guests for coming. Other family members and important guests, such as grandparents, may also wish to share an informal congratulations during the rehearsal dinner.
To keep the reception timeline organised, it is important to get the wedding toasts and speeches checked off before the dancing and festivities begin. A good time to deliver the speeches is about three-quarters of the way through dinner as guests are finishing up their meals and still seated. That way, once the speeches are over, guests will be done eating, tables will be cleared, and everyone will be ready to hit the dance floor.
Another option is to have the toasts at the end of the meal, giving the speakers plenty of time to enjoy the reception once they're done. You can either have them get up to speak at the end of dinner or invite them to take the stage when it's time to dance. Schedule the toasts, and then head straight into the cake-cutting and first dance, before opening up the dance floor to all guests.
If you're planning something more casual than a seated dinner, a good time to capture the audience's attention may be when guests have a signature cocktail in hand. Allow guests to arrive, get a drink at the bar, and grab a plate of hors d'oeuvres, then grab their attention for the speeches. This option allows the speeches to be delivered early on, and once the toasts are done, everyone will be able to mingle and relax for the rest of the night.
No matter the timing, it's best to keep wedding speeches under five minutes, and closer to three minutes if possible. To introduce your speech, consider a one-liner, such as a funny anecdote or a sentimental line. For example, "I've dreamed of this day my entire life—though in my original plan, it starred George Clooney. But [Groom's Name], you're a solid runner-up!"
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Who gives a wedding speech?
Wedding speeches are traditionally given at the rehearsal dinner, the wedding reception, and sometimes during the ceremony. The number of speakers and the length of the speeches depend on the couple's preferences. Here is a list of people who traditionally give speeches at weddings:
The Couple
The newlyweds can give a speech together or individually to welcome their guests and express their appreciation. They may also want to thank their relatives, wedding party, and guests for their support and presence.
The Father of the Bride
The father of the bride's speech is often considered one of the most special moments of the day. It usually starts by welcoming the guests and thanking them for coming. It can also include a heartfelt anecdote about the bride and some words of wisdom for the couple.
The Mother of the Bride
The mother of the bride may also give a speech, either alongside or in place of the father of the bride.
The Groom's Family
After the bride's family, the groom's family may give a speech, following the traditional order of toasts.
The Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor
The best man and maid/matron of honor are also traditional speech givers. They usually give their speeches at the wedding reception, sharing well wishes and funny anecdotes about the couple.
Other Family Members and Friends
Other important guests, such as grandparents, siblings, and close friends, may give speeches during the rehearsal dinner or wedding reception. These speeches can be more informal and intimate, allowing guests to share their congratulations and best wishes.
It is important to remember that wedding traditions can be adapted to suit the couple's preferences and family dynamics. The above list serves as a guideline, and couples can choose to include or exclude any speakers they wish. Ultimately, the decision of who gives a wedding speech is a personal one, and the couple should feel free to customize their wedding to fit their unique situation.
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How to introduce yourself
Wedding speeches are a chance to celebrate the newly married couple and share memories and well-wishes. They are often given by close friends and family, and sometimes by the couple themselves. The traditional order of wedding speeches usually starts with the father of the bride, followed by the father of the groom, the groom (or couple), the maid of honour, and finally, the best man. However, this order is not set in stone and can be adjusted to reflect the couple's preferences and priorities.
If you are giving a wedding speech, here are some tips on how to introduce yourself:
- Keep it light and humorous: It's natural to feel nervous, but adding a touch of humour can help ease the tension. You can make a light-hearted joke about yourself or the couple to get the audience engaged and create a relaxed atmosphere.
- Share a quick one-liner: A snappy one-liner can be a great way to introduce yourself and set the tone for your speech. For example, you can say something like, "I've dreamed of this day my entire life – though in my original plan, it starred George Clooney. But [Groom's Name], you're a solid runner-up!".
- Welcome the guests: Start by welcoming everyone and thanking them for their presence. You can say something like, "We would like to welcome all of you here today to celebrate and thank you for choosing to spend the day with us." This creates a warm and inclusive atmosphere.
- Share a personal connection: Introduce yourself and your relationship to the couple. For example, "My name is [Name], and I've been friends with the bride since we were in nappies. I'm so honoured to be here today as her maid of honour." This gives the audience context and helps them understand your perspective.
- Be original: Avoid cliche or overused jokes and anecdotes. Try to share a unique story or memory that reflects the couple's character and journey. It could be about how they met, a funny incident, or a heartwarming moment that showcases their love and commitment.
Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to introducing yourself. Be authentic, speak from the heart, and feel free to adjust your introduction to match your personality and the tone of the wedding celebration.
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What to say
Wedding speeches are a chance to celebrate the newly married couple and share favourite memories of them as individuals and as a pair. They are also an opportunity to thank the bridal party, family, and guests, and to express excitement about married life.
The traditional order of wedding speeches is: the father (or parents) of the bride, the father (or parents) of the groom, the groom (or couple), the maid of honour, and finally, the best man. However, this is not set in stone and can be adjusted to reflect family dynamics, cultural traditions, or personal preferences. For example, the couple may choose to forgo speeches altogether, or they may prefer to go from table to table during the reception to express their thanks in a more intimate way.
If you're nervous about giving a speech, consider setting a one-drink limit before you begin and save the celebrations for after. It's also a good idea to keep your speech short and sweet—four to five minutes is a good length, but if you don't have much to say, two to three minutes is enough.
- "We would like to welcome you all here today to celebrate and thank you for choosing to spend the day with us."
- "I must admit, I'm not accustomed to public speaking."
- "I've dreamed of this day my entire life—though in my original plan, it starred George Clooney. But [Groom's name], you're a solid runner-up!"
- "Today, I finally get to tell [Bride's name] she's stuck with me for life—she laughed when I proposed, so I'm glad she eventually said yes!"
- "When I first saw [Bride's name] walk down the aisle, I thought, 'Wow, she looks stunning!' And then I panicked."
And some general tips:
- Be original—avoid corny, worn-out jokes and impersonal anecdotes.
- Share stories and anecdotes about the couple, especially how they met.
- Offer some sage advice or words of wisdom, especially if you're married and can speak from experience.
- Don't forget to propose a toast to the happy couple!
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Toasts and roasts
Wedding toasts and roasts are an opportunity for loved ones to share their favourite memories of the newly married couple and celebrate their love. They are usually given at the rehearsal dinner, the wedding reception, or sometimes during the ceremony.
The traditional wedding speech order is as follows: first, the father (or parents) of the bride, then the father (or parents) of the groom, followed by the groom (or the couple), the maid of honour, and finally, the best man. However, this order is not set in stone and can be adjusted to reflect the couple's style and priorities. For example, some couples may choose to have a master of ceremonies, such as the wedding DJ or band leader, to add structure and humour to the reception.
When planning the wedding reception timeline, it is essential to consider the timing of the speeches. Experts recommend starting the speeches when food service begins or about three-quarters of the way through dinner as guests are finishing their meals. This allows for a smooth transition to the dancing and festivities after the speeches.
To make a wedding toast or roast memorable, it is important to be original and share anecdotes that reveal something about the couple's character and their journey together. It is also crucial to consider the audience and keep the speech concise, with a good length of four to five minutes. Adding a touch of humour can help ease nerves, but it should be done tastefully, especially if there are impressionable children or guests with sensitive religious or political views in attendance.
Whether you are the couple or a member of the wedding party, preparing a wedding speech can be a daunting task. It is essential to introduce yourself, welcome the guests, and share a sweet, hilarious, or intriguing story related to the couple. If you are married, you may also want to offer some sage advice or words of wisdom to the newlyweds. Finally, don't forget to propose a toast to the happy couple!
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Frequently asked questions
A wedding reception speech is a chance for the newly married couple, their family, and friends to share their thoughts and feelings about the couple and their journey so far. It is a way to inject emotion, joy, and personality into the event and give guests a chance to get to know the couple better.
The wedding reception speech is usually given by the couple's parents/parent figures, wedding party members, best friends, or close relatives. However, ultimately, the couple can ask whoever they want. The couple themselves may also give a speech, which is often a thank-you speech to everyone involved, including the bridal party, family, and guests.
Wedding reception speeches typically take place during the meal. Some sources suggest starting the speeches about three-quarters of the way through dinner as guests are finishing up their meals and still seated. This way, once the speeches are done, tables can be cleared, and guests can get ready for the dance floor.
