Being a bridesmaid is a whirlwind of excitement and responsibility. From planning the hen party and shopping for wedding attire to providing emotional support and organising the big day itself, there's a lot for bridesmaids to take on. But what comes after the wedding?
Well, the role of a bridesmaid doesn't necessarily end when the happy couple drives off into the sunset. There are a few post-wedding duties that are often overlooked, such as helping to collect gifts and leftover items, returning hired clothing or accessories, and even taking down decorations.
One of the most important post-wedding tasks for a bridesmaid is to collate and share photos and videos from the wedding party. This digital montage will be a precious gift for the newlyweds as they wait for their official photos.
So, while the role of a bridesmaid is undoubtedly exciting and rewarding, it's important to remember that the job doesn't end when the ceremony does. There are still a few loose ends to tie up before you can truly rest!
What You'll Learn
Help with wedding planning
Planning a wedding can be a stressful process, but there are many steps you can take to make it more manageable. Here are some tips to help you with your wedding planning:
Before the Wedding:
- Determine your wedding planning to-do list: Create a comprehensive list of all the tasks that need to be done, from finding a venue to sending out invitations. This will help you stay organized and ensure that nothing is overlooked.
- Utilize wedding planning tools and apps: Take advantage of the many online resources available, such as The Knot App, which can help you with tasks such as researching vendors and building a wedding registry.
- Find your wedding vision: Start by thinking about the overall vision and style for your wedding. Do you want a formal or casual event? A large or small gathering? An indoor or outdoor celebration? Having a clear vision will make it easier to make decisions about other details.
- Set a budget: Discuss your financial situation with your partner and any family members who may be contributing. Be realistic about what you can afford and try to stick to your budget, allowing for some wiggle room for unexpected costs.
- Make the guest list: The number of guests will impact your budget and venue choice, so it's important to create the guest list early on. Consider whether you will be inviting children and who will be given a plus one.
- Choose your wedding party: Select your bridesmaids and groomsmen, keeping in mind that these individuals will be providing emotional and tactical support throughout the planning process and on the big day. Be considerate of their time and financial commitments.
- Book vendors: Research and book vendors such as caterers, photographers, florists, and musicians. Be sure to read contracts carefully and communicate your expectations clearly.
- Plan pre-wedding events: In addition to the wedding itself, there may be other events to plan, such as an engagement party, bridal shower, or bachelor/bachelorette party. Work with your wedding party and close friends or family members to organize these celebrations.
During the Wedding:
- Attend the rehearsal: As a member of the wedding party, you will typically be expected to attend the rehearsal and any associated events, such as a rehearsal dinner. This is a chance to finalize details and make sure everyone is on the same page.
- Get ready with the bridal party: On the day of the wedding, plan to get ready together with the other bridesmaids and members of the bridal party. This is a fun opportunity to bond and help calm any pre-wedding jitters.
- Participate in the ceremony: Walk down the aisle, stand at the altar, and be there for the happy couple as they exchange their vows. If you are the maid of honor, you may also be responsible for holding the bride's bouquet and assisting with her veil or train.
- Be available for photos: The photographer will likely take pictures throughout the day, so be prepared to stick around for group portraits and cooperate with the photographer's requests.
- Give a speech: If asked by the couple, prepare a few words to toast the newlyweds. This is your chance to share your well wishes and celebrate their love.
- Check in with the couple: Throughout the day, keep an eye on the newlyweds and make sure they have everything they need. Offer them water, snacks, or cocktails, and help with any outfit changes or bathroom breaks.
After the Wedding:
- Attend post-wedding events: There may be additional events to attend after the wedding, such as a farewell party or post-wedding brunch. Your presence as a member of the bridal party is expected at these gatherings.
- Organize leftover items: Offer to help take leftover decorations, gifts, or other items back to the hotel or return any rentals to the vendors. This will be a big help to the couple as they start their married life together.
- Create a digital collection of photos and videos: Gather any photos and videos taken by the wedding party and create a digital collection for the couple to enjoy while they wait for their official wedding photos.
- Tie up loose ends: After the wedding, there may still be some tasks to complete, such as settling outstanding payments or returning rented items. Work with the other members of the wedding party to ensure that everything is taken care of.
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Assist with the bridal shower and bachelorette party
Being a bridesmaid is a big responsibility, and one of the most important duties is to support the bride with planning and attending pre-wedding events, such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party. Here are some tips to help you assist with these special occasions:
Bridal Shower:
- Understand the purpose: A bridal shower is a pre-wedding celebration that "showers" the bride-to-be with love, well-wishes, and gifts from her nearest and dearest. It's typically a more sophisticated and gentle affair, with a larger, more inclusive guest list that may include family members like aunts and grandmothers. The activities are usually family-friendly, such as playing games, enjoying refreshments, and watching the bride open gifts.
- Timing and location: Bridal showers tend to take place a few weeks to a few months before the wedding, usually during the daytime. They can be held at various locations, such as someone's home, a restaurant, a banquet hall, a garden, or another event space.
- Guest list and hosting: While the guest list may vary, it typically includes the bride's wedding party, close friends, and family. The bridal shower is often hosted by the maid of honour, the bridal party, or the family of the bride, such as the bride's mother or mother-in-law.
- Attire: Bridal showers are usually classy, daytime affairs, and the attire can range from sundresses to midi dresses or pantsuits, depending on the formality of the event. The bride typically wears white.
Bachelorette Party:
- Purpose: Like the bridal shower, the bachelorette party celebrates the bride-to-be and the excitement leading up to the wedding. However, it is usually a more rowdy and lively event, with a smaller guest list of the bride's closest friends. The activities are tailored to the bride's personality and preferences and can range from bar-hopping to a spa weekend.
- Timing and location: Bachelorette parties typically occur one to four months before the wedding to give the bride time to recuperate before the big day. They can span a night or an entire weekend and are often held at destinations like hotels, clubs, or wineries, or as a weekend getaway.
- Guest list and hosting: The guest list for the bachelorette party is more exclusive, with only the bride's VIP friends and perhaps a few close friends of the groom. The event is usually planned and hosted by the maid of honour, a small group of bridesmaids, or close friends.
- Attire: The attire for the bachelorette party is typically more glamorous and themed. The bride often wears something bolder, like a sequined mini dress, while guests bring multiple outfits depending on the activities, such as a maxi dress for brunch or a bathing suit for snorkelling.
Assisting with Planning:
- Communicate: As a bridesmaid, it's essential to communicate openly with the bride, other bridesmaids, and the hosts. Understand the expectations and responsibilities and be honest about your capabilities, especially if there are financial constraints.
- Support the hosts: Offer your help and support to the hosts, whether it's the maid of honour or the bridal party. Be proactive and take on tasks such as sending invitations, making reservations, decorating the venue, or creating a detailed itinerary for the group.
- Combine the events: If the bride is open to it, suggest combining the bridal shower and bachelorette party into one event to save money and make it easier for guests. Ensure that the invitation clearly communicates the combined nature of the event, and plan a balanced agenda that includes activities from both celebrations.
- Gifts: For the bridal shower, you are expected to bring a gift, either individually or as a group gift with the other bridesmaids. For the bachelorette party, gifts are not the primary focus, but you can still contribute something light-hearted or personal, like lingerie.
Remember, your role as a bridesmaid is to be supportive, proactive, and positive throughout the entire planning process. By following these tips, you can ensure that the bridal shower and bachelorette party are well-organised and enjoyable for the bride and all the guests.
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Support the bride on the wedding day
Supporting the bride on her wedding day is a crucial role for bridesmaids. Here are some ways to ensure you're providing the best support for the bride:
Before the Wedding
Being a bridesmaid is an honour, and it's important to remember that the bride has trusted you with an important role. One of the most vital aspects of being a bridesmaid is providing moral support. Wedding planning can be stressful, so it's crucial to be there for the bride and offer a calm and caring presence. Be available and present from the early stages of planning right through to the big day. This includes helping with pre-wedding events, such as the bachelorette party and bridal shower. It's also essential to have honest conversations about expectations to ensure you're meeting the bride's needs without exceeding your financial means.
On the Wedding Day
Attending the rehearsal dinner is expected of bridesmaids, and you may even be asked to give a toast. Get to know the wedding planner and understand your role in their plans. Cooperate with the planner and be mindful of their schedule and directions. Know the wedding day timeline inside out so you can be where you need to be without being told. Stay positive and flexible, as weddings often come with last-minute changes and stressful moments. It's your job to keep the bride as calm as possible. Ensure the bride stays hydrated and has something to eat amidst the excitement. You may also be asked to greet guests and guide them to their seats.
After the Wedding
The wedding party often helps gather personal items and transport gifts, as well as participating in post-wedding events like a next-day brunch. Offer to help take leftover items back to the hotel or return any rentals to vendors. Create a digital collection of photos and videos taken by the wedding party while the couple waits for their official photos.
Remember, it's not about you; it's about the bride. Your support and flexibility will help ensure the bride's big day is everything she dreamed of!
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Socialise with guests
After the ceremony, it's the role of the wedding party, including the bridesmaids, to socialise with the other guests and help them feel happy and comfortable. Bridesmaids are typically expected to help everyone find their seat at the wedding breakfast and lead the dancing during the reception (after the bride and groom have had their first dance).
Throughout the day, the bridesmaids' most important duty is to support the bride and be there for her when she needs help. For example, bridesmaids may need to assist the bride in going to the bathroom if she has a large or unwieldy dress (or one with a long train). Bridesmaids should also keep an eye on the bride to make sure she's eating, staying hydrated, and taking opportunities to rest if she feels tired.
If any emergencies or unforeseen situations arise—for example, a mix-up with the seating plan, a ripped pair of tights, or an argument between guests—the bridesmaids and the maid of honour should be the first to jump into action and save the day.
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Assist with post-wedding logistics
Once the wedding is over, there are still a few tasks that the bridesmaids can do to help the newlyweds. Here are some post-wedding logistics that bridesmaids can assist with:
Attend the farewell party
If the couple is hosting a farewell party or a post-wedding brunch, the bridesmaids are expected to attend. It is important to know the exact time and location of the event and be punctual. It is also a thoughtful gesture to check-in with the newlyweds and see if they need anything, such as extra-large coffees delivered to their room.
Organise miscellaneous items
Bridesmaids can help take down decorations at the end of the wedding or collect the couple's wedding gifts and cards during the reception for safekeeping. It is important to organise these items a few days after the wedding to ensure nothing is forgotten or misplaced.
Return hired items
If there are any hired items, such as candelabras or tablecloths, the bridesmaids can assist in returning them to the vendors. This task ensures that the newlyweds do not have to worry about these logistics and can focus on their honeymoon or post-wedding relaxation.
Settle outstanding payments
Bridesmaids can help to settle any outstanding payments or bills that may be pending after the wedding. This includes sending payment requests to other members of the wedding party to cover shared expenses, such as rideshares or the rehearsal dinner.
Collect and transport gifts
Bridesmaids can offer to help the couple collect and transport their wedding gifts to their home or a designated storage location. This is especially helpful if the couple is leaving for their honeymoon immediately after the wedding.
Create a digital collection of photos and videos
The bridesmaids can reach out to the wedding party and guests to collect any photos and videos taken during the wedding. They can then put together a digital montage or album as a thoughtful post-wedding gift for the newlyweds.
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Frequently asked questions
The bridesmaids' duties are mostly carried out before and during the wedding, but there are still some tasks to complete after the nuptials. These include uploading photos and sharing memories, as well as helping the newlyweds collect gifts and leftover items, and returning hired items to vendors.
There are no set rules, but it is common for bridesmaids to pay for their dresses and accessories, as well as chip in for the bachelorette party and bridal shower.
The maid of honour is the bride's right-hand woman and has a more prominent leadership role. She guides the bridesmaids and is the bride's primary point of contact, taking the lead on organising events and handling logistics. The bridesmaids support the maid of honour and the bride to ensure the wedding is a success.
If the bride is having a bridal shower, it is common for the bridesmaid to buy a gift, either from the registry or something they know she will enjoy, like a spa day.