Lyla Dejesus
A Catholic wedding mass is a beautiful, symbolic ceremony full of rituals and traditions. The wedding liturgy, where the couple exchanges vows and becomes husband and wife, is the highlight of the day. The ceremony involves multiple prayers, singing, and sitting, and is usually 45 minutes to an hour long. The couple can also incorporate various traditions, such as placing flowers before a statue of the Virgin Mary or St. Joseph, and selecting specific Scripture readings and musical selections. The most important aspect of a Catholic wedding is that it reflects the Lord's blessing and keeps Christ at the center of the celebration and the marriage.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Duration | 45 minutes to an hour with mass, 30 to 40 minutes without mass |
| Readings | Couples are encouraged to choose their readings, as long as at least one explicitly speaks of marriage |
| Flowers | It is customary for the bride or couple to place a bouquet of flowers before a statue or shrine to the Virgin Mary |
| Consecration | Couples may consecrate themselves or bring flowers to St. Joseph or the Holy Family |
| Hymns | Hymns such as "Sanctus" are sung during the ceremony |
| Vows | Couples exchange rings and vows, which can be unique to them |
| Witness | The witnesses, usually the best man and maid of honor, sign the marriage record after the mass |
| Purpose | To reflect the Lord's blessing and to celebrate marriage as a Christian celebration |
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What You'll Learn
The wedding liturgy
The Order of Celebrating Matrimony outlines the structure of the wedding liturgy, with engaged couples encouraged to work with the celebrant and parish staff to make choices regarding Scripture readings, the Prayers of the Faithful, and musical selections. This personalizes the liturgy and ensures the full and active participation of the couple. Pope Francis has said that it is important to keep Christ at the center of the wedding day and the marriage.
After the vows, the couple and guests sit as the bread and wine are prepared at the altar, and the Eucharist prayer is recited. This is followed by the hymn "Sanctus." In some places, it is customary for the bride or the couple to place a bouquet of flowers before a statue or shrine of the Virgin Mary, if there is one in the church. This usually happens after Holy Communion, and the Ave Maria or Salve will be sung while the couple prays.
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Scripture readings
There are three scripture readings and a Psalm chosen for the liturgy: one from the Old Testament, one from the New Testament, and one from the Gospels. There are nine options for the first reading from the Old Testament, thirteen options for the second reading from the New Testament, and ten choices for the Gospel.
The scripture readings can be chosen by the couple themselves, with guidance from a priest or mentor couple. The couple may find it helpful to reflect prayerfully on each reading and choose those that speak to their hopes and dreams for their Christian marriage. The Order for Celebrating Matrimony offers several options from Scripture that particularly express the importance and dignity of marriage.
- A reading from the Holy Gospel according to John (2:1-11), which includes the story of the marriage feast of Cana, Jesus's first miracle of turning water into wine.
- A reading from the book of Genesis (1:26-28. 31): "God said, 'Let us make man in our own image, in the likeness of ourselves, and let them be masters of the fish of the sea, the birds of heaven, the cattle, all the wild beasts and all the reptiles that crawl upon the earth.'"
- A reading from the Holy Gospel according to John (17:20-23): "Jesus raised his eyes to heaven and said: 'I pray not only for these, but for those also who through their words will believe in me. May they all be one. Father, may they be one in us, as you are in me and I am in you, so that the world may believe it was you who sent me.'"
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Hymns and music
After Holy Communion, it is customary in some places for the couple to place a bouquet of flowers before a statue or shrine of the Virgin Mary, if there is one in the church. During this time, the "Ave Maria" or "Salve" is sung while the couple prays. This tradition recognises the role of Mary as the mother of God and of the Church and the faithful. Some couples may also opt to honour their own mothers during this time.
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Flowers and statues
Another custom is for the couple to present flowers to St. Joseph or the Holy Family during the mass, particularly if the wedding falls on one of St. Joseph's feast days or the feast of the Holy Family. This can be as simple or prayerful as the couple wishes.
In addition to these traditions, there are other ways to incorporate flowers and statues into a Catholic wedding mass. For example, the bride's bouquet might include a coral rose as a way to honour Mary and the protection she is believed to provide. Alternatively, the couple might choose to grow a Mary garden, which is a custom dating back to medieval Europe, where plants associated with the Virgin Mary, such as rosemary (Mary's rose) and bleeding hearts (Mary's heart), are grown.
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Vows and rings
The exchanging of vows is a crucial element of a Catholic wedding mass, uniting the couple in holy matrimony. In the Catholic Church, couples typically do not write their own wedding vows but instead recite traditional wedding vows. There are two versions of Catholic wedding vows approved by the Vatican for couples to exchange during a Catholic wedding ceremony. The to-be-weds should work with their priest to decide which set of vows to use.
The first version of the vows is as follows:
> I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wife/husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.
The second version is:
> I, [name], take you, [name], for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.
While some couples may choose to slightly alter the vows, customisation is generally advised against. The priest will ask the couple three questions to initiate the declaration of consent:
- " [Name] and [name], have you come here to enter into marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly?"
- "Are you prepared, as you follow the path of marriage, to love and honour each other for as long as you both shall live?"
- "Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?"
The answer to each of these questions should be "I have" or "I am". After the vows, the rings are exchanged and blessed by the priest. The rings are a symbol of the couple's love and fidelity. Each partner will then place the ring on their spouse's ring finger. The priest might invite the couple to exchange a kiss at this point.
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Frequently asked questions
The wedding liturgy is the high point of the day, where the couple becomes husband and wife. The wedding party will process into the room with the priest, who will then lead a short sermon, or Homily, about the importance of a Catholic wedding ceremony. The priest will ask the couple a series of questions, followed by their vows, the exchange of rings, and a prayer from the priest. The Eucharist is then prepared at the altar, followed by the Eucharist prayer and the hymn, Sanctus.
The couple should work with the celebrant and the parish staff to make choices for certain texts, such as Scripture readings, the Prayers of the Faithful, and musical selections. This ensures the liturgy is a "profound personal experience" of "full, active, and responsible participation" by the couple.
It is customary for the bride, or the couple, to place a bouquet of flowers before a statue of the Virgin Mary, and to sing Ave Maria or Salve while the couple prays. This is common in parishes where there is a shrine to the Virgin Mary. Couples may also bring flowers to St. Joseph or the Holy Family, especially if they marry on St. Joseph’s feast day.
