Wedding Invite Etiquette: What You Need To Know

Wedding invitation etiquette is an important aspect of wedding planning, as it sets the tone for the event and ensures guests have all the necessary information. From the wording and timing of the invitations to addressing envelopes and including relevant details, there are several considerations to keep in mind. The following guide will cover the key aspects of wedding invitation etiquette to help you create elegant and informative invitations for your big day.

When to send invites

When it comes to sending out your wedding invitations, timing is everything. Here are some tips to ensure your invites arrive at the perfect moment:

Save-the-Dates

Before sending out your official wedding invitations, it's a good idea to send out save-the-date cards. These are typically sent out six to eight months before the wedding, but can be mailed up to a year in advance if you've already finalised the details. Sending save-the-dates is especially important if you're having a destination wedding, giving your guests ample time to make travel arrangements.

Timing is Everything

The general rule of thumb is to mail your wedding invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding. This gives guests enough time to clear their schedules and make any necessary travel plans. If you're hosting a destination wedding or celebrating over a holiday weekend, it's advisable to give your guests even more time by mailing the invitations three months in advance.

Don't Delay

Ordering your wedding invitations in a timely manner is crucial. Aim to order them four to five months before the wedding, so you have enough time for any last-minute adjustments and to avoid rushing the process.

RSVP Deadlines

When it comes to setting an RSVP deadline, you'll want to give your guests at least two to four weeks to respond. This will allow you to finalise the headcount for the caterer and finalise your seating chart. Typically, the RSVP deadline is set for two to three weeks before the wedding.

In summary, the key to successful wedding invitation timing is to give your guests enough notice without sending the invitations too early. Ordering your invitations and save-the-dates on time and setting reasonable RSVP deadlines will ensure a smooth process and a well-planned wedding celebration.

What to include

The wedding invitation is the first glimpse your guests will have of your special day, so it's important to get it right. Here are some key things to include when following wedding invitation etiquette:

Timing is Everything

It is customary to send out your wedding invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding. This gives your guests enough time to plan, make travel arrangements, or find a babysitter. However, if you're planning a destination wedding, it's proper etiquette to send invitations out 12 weeks in advance.

Necessary Information

The invitation should include all the essential details, such as the date, time, and location of the ceremony and reception. If the reception is at the same venue, simply indicate "reception to follow." For a different location, you can include it on the invitation or print a separate reception card.

Other important details to include are any pre- or post-wedding events, hotel information, and a link to your wedding website. Don't forget to mention the dress code!

RSVP Instructions

Provide clear RSVP instructions and give your guests a deadline, typically two to three weeks before the wedding. Include a pre-addressed envelope with a stamp, or direct them to an email, phone number, or wedding website URL for their response.

Names and Titles

The invitation should include the names of the bride and groom. When addressing your guests, use their full names and titles, such as "Miss," "Ms., "Mrs.," or "Mr." For married couples, traditionally, "Mr. and Mrs." precedes the man's full formal name. If the woman has kept her maiden name, her name can come first, or you can use "Mrs." followed by her full name.

Attire Requested

Let your guests know the requested attire or dress code for the wedding. This information can be included on the invitation or on a separate details card.

Additional Information

If you have extra information like directions, parking, or accommodation suggestions, it's best to include these at the invitation stage to avoid back-and-forth communication later. You can include this on an additional card insert or your wedding website.

Be Clear About Plus-Ones and Children

If children are not invited, address only the parents' full names on the invitation. If you want to offer a plus-one, write your guest's name and then "and guest."

RSVP instructions

RSVP is an abbreviation of the French, "Respondez, s'il vous plait," which means "please respond." It is customary to give your guests three to four weeks to respond to your invitation. This should allow enough time for you to get a final head count for the caterer and to finalise your seating chart. The RSVP date should be at least two weeks before your wedding.

It is important to include an "RSVP by" date on your RSVP cards, as well as clear instructions on how to respond. This could be a pre-addressed envelope for guests to send their reply, or the email, phone number, or URL they should use to respond.

If you are asking for a mailed response, remember to include a stamp on the RSVP envelope. It is considered rude to expect your guests to pay for postage themselves.

If some guests have not responded by your deadline, give them a quick call to remind them to send their RSVPs.

Addressing guests

When addressing guests on your wedding invitations, there are a few things to keep in mind to ensure proper etiquette. Here are some detailed instructions for addressing your guests:

Names and Titles

It is considered good etiquette to use the full names and titles of your guests on the outer envelope of the invitation. For married couples, address them as "Mr. and Mrs.", followed by the husband's first and last name. If the wife has retained her maiden name, the names should be written in alphabetical order: "Ms. Susan Jones and Mr. John Smith". For unmarried couples living together, write each name on a separate line. When addressing a single person, use their preferred title and last name (e.g., "Ms. Ali Johnson").

Inner Envelopes

The inner envelope is more informal, so you can be more flexible with the format. You may use first names only or include titles and last names. If your guest has a plus-one, you can write "and Guest" on the inner envelope if you don't know the name of the person they are bringing.

Families with Children

When inviting a family with young children (under 18), the outer envelope should include only the names of the parents or guardians. List each child's name on the inner envelope. If you don't want to include children, avoid using "The Smith Family" and instead, use the parents' names only. If some children are over 18, they should receive their own invitations unless they live at home with their parents.

Professionals with Distinguished Titles

If your guest has a distinguished title, such as a doctor, lawyer, judge, or military professional, it is proper to address them by their title on the invitation envelope. For couples with distinguished titles, list the person with the higher-ranking title first, followed by their partner's name.

Timing

It is recommended to send your invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding to give your guests enough time to RSVP and make travel arrangements if needed. For destination weddings, it is advisable to send them out 12 weeks in advance.

RSVP Instructions

Don't forget to include an RSVP-by date, usually two to four weeks before the wedding, to give yourself enough time to provide a final headcount to your caterer. Include a pre-addressed envelope with a stamp for guests to send back their responses or direct them to an email, phone number, or wedding website to RSVP.

Remember to be creative and clear in your invitations, providing all the necessary information while also reflecting your personal style.

Attire guidelines

It is important to include a dress code on your wedding invitation to give your guests a heads-up about what to wear. If you are having a black-tie wedding, this must be included on the invitation. If you are not including this information, your guests will infer the dress code based on the formality of the invitation itself. Here are some examples of dress codes to include:

• Black-tie (tuxedos and floor-length gowns)
• Formal attire (suits and dresses)
• Cocktail attire (suits or dress shirts with ties and cocktail dresses)
• Beach-casual (long- or short-sleeve shirts with pants or shorts, sundresses, and sandals)
• Dress casual

If you would prefer not to explicitly state the dress code, your invitation design can clue your guests in. For example, a traditional invite with letterpress and calligraphy hints at a formal event, while an invite with a playful font and bright colours fits a casual style. Alternatively, you can direct your guests to your wedding website, where you can go into more detail about the dress code in a more informal forum.

Frequently asked questions