Ring Bearer Diamonds: A Sparkling Tradition

A ring bearer is a wedding party role that is typically given to young children. The child walks down the aisle ahead of the flower girl and bride, carrying the wedding rings on a pillow. The role is symbolic, adding a touch of innocence and charm to the wedding. The rings are tied to a small pillow and presented to the couple at the appropriate time during the vows.

The tradition is believed to have originated in Ancient Egypt, where adults would carry treasured jewels on ornamental pillows during wedding ceremonies. Over time, the role evolved and was taken on by young children, who would carry the rings on a pillow as a symbol of wealth.

Who can be a ring bearer?

The role of a ring bearer is usually given to young children, who precede the bride down the aisle, often walking at the same time as the flower girl, and carrying the wedding ring on a pillow. Traditionally, the ring bearer is a boy, but this role can be performed by a girl or a non-binary person. The ring bearer can also be an adult friend or family member, or even a pet.

The appropriate age for a child ring bearer is anywhere from 2 to 8 years old. If you choose a child younger than 3, it's a good idea to speak with their parents first to see if they can escort the child down the aisle. If the child is 10 years old or older, consider giving them a junior groomsman role, which involves more responsibility and participation in pre-wedding events.

The ring bearer is typically a young family member, such as the nephew of the bride, godchild of the groom, younger sibling, or the child of the maid of honour, best man, or another close friend. If the couple has children, the role of ring bearer is a great way to include them in the wedding.

If you don't know any children who would be suitable for the role, you could consider asking an adult friend or family member to be your ring bearer. This could be a fun way to involve a grandparent or older relative in your special day.

Another option for a unique ring bearer is to include your pet in this role. Dog wedding guests are becoming increasingly popular, and they can be trained to carry the rings on a pillow or in a pouch attached to their collar. Just make sure your venue is okay with animals, and that your dog is well-behaved and won't run away with the rings!

What does a ring bearer do?

A ring bearer is a wedding party role that is typically given to young children. The role is symbolic and adds a touch of innocence and charm to the wedding. The ring bearer is entrusted with delivering the wedding rings to the couple during the ceremony, signifying the marriage promise.

In a traditional wedding ceremony, the ring bearer walks down the aisle after the maid of honour and bridesmaids and precedes the bride. The ring bearer usually carries the wedding rings on a pillow, presenting them at the appropriate time during the vows. The pillow was historically used to indicate wealth and luxury, as small pillows were hard to come by in medieval times. However, the ring bearer does not have to carry the rings on a pillow and can instead carry them in a briefcase or bouquet, for example.

The ring bearer is usually a young boy, typically between the ages of three and eight. However, this is not a strict rule, and the role can be performed by a girl, an adult, or even a well-trained pet. The ring bearer is often a close relative or friend of the couple, such as a niece, nephew, or child of a close friend.

It is important to note that the ring bearer does not have to carry the real wedding rings. Most couples choose to have the best man carry the real rings to avoid any mishaps. The ring bearer can instead carry fake rings or an empty pillow.

The ring bearer should be well-prepared for their role, attending the wedding rehearsal and any pre-wedding events to familiarise themselves with the wedding party and their duties. They should also practice walking down the aisle with the ring pillow to build confidence. On the wedding day, the ring bearer will walk down the aisle, usually ahead of the flower girl, carrying the ring pillow with the wedding rings attached. Once at the altar, the ring bearer will present the pillow to the best man or the couple during the ring exchange. After presenting the rings, the ring bearer will typically stand with the wedding party for the duration of the ceremony, or they may be seated with their parents if they are too young to stand for an extended period.

What does a ring bearer wear?

Ring bearers are usually children between the ages of three and eight. Their outfits depend on the formality of the wedding and are often miniature versions of what the groom or groomsmen are wearing.

For a formal wedding, a popular choice for ring bearers is a small suit or tuxedo, including a jacket, pants, vest, shirt, shoes, bow tie or necktie, pocket square, studs, and cufflinks. The ring bearer's outfit can be identical to the groom's or the same as the groomsmen's.

For a less formal wedding, such as a beach wedding, the ring bearer can wear more casual attire. This could include a linen shirt, lightweight jacket, bow tie, suspenders, and shorts. If the wedding is outdoors, the ring bearer can forego the jacket and instead wear dress pants with suspenders and a bow tie or a vest with a coordinating hat.

The parents of the ring bearer typically pay for their child's attire, but the bride and groom can offer guidance or choose the exact outfit they want. It is also common to give a ring bearer gift, such as an accessory that can become a memento of the occasion.

How to choose a ring bearer?

Choosing a ring bearer is an important part of planning a wedding. Here are some tips on how to choose a ring bearer:

Decide if you want children at your wedding

Ring bearers are usually children, so if you are planning an adults-only wedding, you may not want a ring bearer. However, you can still have a ring bearer even if you don't want children at your wedding.

Choose an appropriate age

Ring bearers are traditionally between the ages of three and eight. Younger children may be shy or nervous, while older ring bearers may be more comfortable and better able to handle the responsibility. If you want to include a child who is too young to walk down the aisle, their parent can carry them or pull them in a wagon.

Make a list of potential ring bearers

Start by considering children who are close to the couple, such as nephews, nieces, children of close friends or family members, or the children of the maid of honour or best man. If you are having trouble deciding between potential ring bearers, think about who has been in a wedding before and who hasn't.

Consider the parents

The ring bearer's parents will have a lot of responsibilities, including purchasing the child's wedding attire, preparing them for the big day, and handling any meltdowns. Make sure to ask the parents for permission before choosing a ring bearer, and consider whether they will be willing to take on these tasks.

Ask the right way

Get creative when asking the ring bearer to be in your wedding. Surprise them with a new toy, a sweet card, or their favourite candy. Discuss outfit requirements with the parents, and consider offering to pay for the attire as a gift.

Give other kids special jobs

If there are other children who are special to you but can't be the ring bearer, give them other duties such as handing out programs, blowing bubbles, or shaking noisemakers.

How to prepare a ring bearer?

A ring bearer is a cherished part of any wedding ceremony. Typically, they are young children, often close relatives or friends of the couple, who carry the wedding rings down the aisle. Here are some tips on how to prepare a ring bearer for your big day:

Choose the Right Candidate

Select a child who is close to the couple, such as a niece, nephew, or the child of a close friend. Consider their temperament, maturity, and ability to handle the pressure of being in front of a large crowd. It's a good idea to have a backup plan in case the child becomes overwhelmed. If you want to avoid putting too much responsibility on a child, you can choose an adult ring bearer, such as the best man or maid of honour, or even your pet!

Communicate with the Ring Bearer and Their Parents

Clear communication is key. Explain the expectations and responsibilities of the role, and provide guidance on handling any challenges. Discuss the wedding day schedule and the timing of their role, so there is no confusion or delays.

Prepare the Ring Bearer for Their Role

Give the ring bearer ample time to practice their walk and feel comfortable with the ring pillow. Make sure they understand the order of events and their specific role during the ceremony. If the ring bearer is a child, it's a good idea to involve their parents in these discussions.

Select Appropriate Attire

Choose an outfit for the ring bearer that complements the wedding party's outfits and is comfortable for the child to wear. Consider the weather and venue conditions to ensure they remain comfortable throughout the day. The ring bearer's parents traditionally pay for their outfit, so give them a few options to choose from within your desired colour scheme and level of formality.

Rehearsal and Pre-Wedding Events

The ring bearer should attend the wedding rehearsal and any pre-wedding events to familiarise themselves with their role and the wedding party members. This will help ease any nerves and allow them to practice walking down the aisle.

On the Wedding Day

Before the ceremony, check that the rings are securely tied to the ring bearer pillow. Reassure the ring bearer and thank them for their participation. During the wedding, the ring bearer will walk down the aisle, carrying the ring pillow, and present the rings to the best man or the couple when it's time to exchange vows. After presenting the rings, the ring bearer will typically stand with the wedding party or sit with their parents if they are too young.

Frequently asked questions