Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it's also a big responsibility. While the role of a bridesmaid will vary depending on the couple and their approach to wedding planning, there are some duties that are considered essential. From helping to plan the hen party and shop for wedding attire, to providing emotional support throughout the planning process, a bridesmaid's role is crucial to the success of the wedding.
In addition to pre-wedding duties, a bridesmaid is also expected to be present and supportive on the day itself. This includes getting ready with the bride, assisting with her outfit, hair and makeup, and providing moral support. Bridesmaids are also expected to participate in the wedding ceremony, often walking down the aisle and standing at the altar with the bride. Post-wedding, a bridesmaid might be asked to help with returning hired clothing or accessories, taking down decorations, or collecting wedding gifts and cards.
While the role of a bridesmaid can be demanding, it's important to remember that the main duty is to support the bride and ensure she feels calm and cared for.
What You'll Learn
Help with wedding planning
Being a bridesmaid is a major honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility. One of the most important roles of a bridesmaid is to support the bride, but what does that look like in practice? Here are some ideas for how to help with wedding planning:
Before the Wedding
- Help plan the hen party and any other pre-wedding events. This could include coming up with ideas, giving feedback, decorating, and chipping in with costs.
- Offer practical help and emotional support. Be specific and ask about particular tasks that need doing, rather than asking generally what needs to be done.
- Visit the wedding venue and help make decisions on layout and décor.
- Help with any wedding DIY sessions.
- Accompany the bride when she goes wedding dress shopping.
- Help plan and shop for bridesmaid dresses.
- Check in with the couple regularly and be supportive and enthusiastic.
- Listen to any wedding planning woes and offer solutions.
- Help the bride to pack and prep an on-the-day emergency kit.
- Help with any last-minute errands and wedding set-up.
- Make sure you have the shoes, accessories, and underwear you need.
- Prep a wedding morning playlist and buy some bubbly.
- Help diffuse any pre-wedding stress or tensions.
- Get a list of the couple's suppliers and their contact info for the day.
- Familiarise yourself with the wedding timeline.
- Attend the ceremony rehearsal so you know your cues for the wedding day.
On the Wedding Day
- Get ready with the bride and other bridesmaids.
- Keep the atmosphere upbeat and make sure the bride eats breakfast.
- Ensure hair and makeup artists are running on time.
- Keep an eye on the time throughout the morning.
- Field any questions from guests and suppliers, and keep any issues away from the couple.
- Help the bride with her dress, shoes and jewellery.
- Throughout the day, fix her dress and veil, take her bouquet for the ceremony, and assist her with bathroom breaks if needed.
- Keep the bride hydrated and fed—make sure she drinks water and has snacks.
- Help round up family members for photos.
- Carry an emergency kit and the bride's lipstick, and let her know if she needs touch-ups.
- Assist with any little members of the bridal party, such as flower girls.
- Make a speech if you feel comfortable.
- Encourage guests to sign the guestbook or visit the photo booth.
- Help the bride into a second dress if she has one for dancing.
- Be first on the dance floor and encourage others to join.
- Help with any send-off the couple have planned, such as a sparkler exit.
- Take the wedding bouquet and put it in water for preserving.
- Help the bride out of her dress and pack it up so it doesn't get damaged.
After the Wedding
- Make an effort to be there for breakfast with the couple the next day.
- Collect any cards from the venue's safe for the couple.
- Ensure any flowers and decor are packed and moved for day two celebrations or transport home.
- Box up keepsakes such as framed photos, the guestbook and photo booth snaps.
- Offer to do the bride's hair and makeup for her day two celebrations if she's running low on energy.
- Return any hired clothing or accessories.
- Help take down any decorations.
- Collect any wedding gifts and cards during the reception for safekeeping.
- Settle any outstanding payments and other bills.
Remember, every wedding is different, and not every bride will want or ask her bridesmaids to do all of the above. But offering your assistance with wedding planning and being there for the bride is a crucial part of being a bridesmaid.
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Organise the hen party
Organising the hen party, also known as the bachelorette party, is one of the most important tasks for a bridesmaid. Here are some tips to help you plan and execute a memorable and enjoyable event for the bride-to-be:
Planning and Preparation:
- Communicate with the bride: Ask her about her preferences, wishes, and any specific activities or themes she would like for her hen party. Does she want a wild night out or a relaxing spa weekend? Take her desires into account when planning.
- Collaborate with the maid of honour: The maid of honour usually takes the lead in organising the hen party, so work closely with her. Divide tasks, brainstorm ideas, and ensure you are both on the same page.
- Form a bridesmaid team: If there are multiple bridesmaids, delegate tasks and responsibilities to ensure the planning process is efficient and less overwhelming.
- Set a budget: Discuss financial expectations and limitations with the other bridesmaids and the bride. It is customary for the bridesmaids to cover the bride's expenses for the hen party.
- Choose a date and location: Select a date that works for everyone, especially the bride and the key attendees. Consider the bride's preferences for the location, whether it's a night out in the city or a weekend getaway.
- Send out invitations: Create a guest list with the bride's input and send out invitations to her friends and family members she wishes to include. Ensure you give guests enough notice, especially if they need to travel.
On the Day:
- Be organised: Ensure all the details are taken care of, from transportation to accommodations and any special decorations or activities you have planned.
- Create a fun atmosphere: As a bridesmaid, it's your job to ensure the bride and her guests are having a good time. Be inclusive, encourage participation in games or activities, and keep the energy positive.
- Take care of the bride: Make sure she has everything she needs, from refreshments to any special items she requests. Be attentive to her needs and be prepared to handle any last-minute changes or surprises.
- Capture the memories: Take photos, videos, or organise a professional photographer to capture the special moments. The bride will appreciate having these memories to look back on.
- Handle any issues: Be the point of contact for guests and vendors, and troubleshoot any problems that may arise. This will allow the bride to fully enjoy herself without worrying about logistics.
- Keep the party going: Encourage guests to participate in activities, and be the first one on the dance floor if there is one! Your enthusiasm will rub off on others, and the bride will appreciate your efforts to make the party a success.
Remember, the key to being a great bridesmaid is supporting the bride and ensuring she has a wonderful time at her hen party. Be flexible, stay organised, and don't be afraid to ask for help from the other bridesmaids or the maid of honour.
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Attend the wedding rehearsal
Attending the wedding rehearsal is one of the most important duties of a bridesmaid. It is usually held the day before the wedding and is an opportunity for the bridal party to practice walking down the aisle, figure out where to stand or sit during the ceremony, and get a sense of how the day will unfold.
As a bridesmaid, it is your responsibility to be present at both the ceremony rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner. This is not only practical—allowing you to familiarise yourself with the venue and the schedule for the day—but also a chance to provide emotional support to the bride during the final stages of preparation before her big day.
The rehearsal dinner is usually a more relaxed affair, where you can follow the suggested dress code, listen to speeches, and enjoy a meal. However, it is important not to stay out too late as you will want to be well-rested for the wedding.
Attending the wedding rehearsal ensures that you are fully prepared for your role as a bridesmaid and allows you to provide valuable support to the bride during a potentially stressful time. It is an important part of your duties and will help contribute to a smooth and memorable wedding day for the happy couple.
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Support the bride on the day
Being a bridesmaid is a major honour and a major responsibility. Here are some ways to support the bride on the day:
Get ready with the bride
On the day of the wedding, arrive at the designated location on time, with all your gear (attire, shoes, jewellery, makeup, undergarments, etc.). Help the bride get ready by keeping her smiling, calm, and collected. Answer any incoming calls or texts, and make sure she eats something and stays hydrated. Pour some celebratory bubbly for everyone to enjoy, and help her into her dress. Assist her with her shoes, jewellery, or veil.
Assist the maid of honour
The maid of honour will have a lot on her plate, so be her right-hand lady and help out with whatever tasks are needed. This could include making a last-minute run to the drugstore, coordinating with the photographer or wedding planner, or providing and keeping track of a wedding day emergency kit.
Provide snacks and drinks
If no other arrangements have been made, provide some snacks and drinks for the bride and her mother, as well as the photographer and beauty stylists. Everyone will appreciate the gesture and benefit from some food and drink throughout the busy day.
Be the "bride tribe"
Embody the concept of being the bride's support crew and be a point of contact for guests and vendors when needed. Check that all members of the wedding party and any special family members have their personal flowers. Assist with pinning on boutonnieres or other floral accessories. Help guests navigate the venue by directing them to parking areas, bathrooms, handicap access, exits, and the bar or refreshments station.
Participate in the ceremony
Be in place at the ceremony venue on time, and ready for your cues to process down the aisle. During the ceremony, be sure to hit your rehearsed mark and fulfil any other roles you've been assigned.
Be photo-ready
Stick around for group portraits after the ceremony. The photographer will usually take most of the pictures after the ceremony and during the cocktail hour. Make the process as quick as possible by cooperating with the wedding photographer, wedding planner, and the couple.
Be model guests
Mingle and chat with other guests, enjoy the food and drinks, sit down at your dinner table when asked, and participate in guest-related activities like signing the guest book or visiting the photo booth. Listen to and applaud any speeches, witness the special dances, and dance tastefully when it's time to hit the dance floor.
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Assist with clean-up
Being a bridesmaid is a major honour, but it also comes with a long list of responsibilities. Here are some ways you can assist with clean-up before, during, and after the wedding:
Pre-Wedding
As a bridesmaid, you may be asked to help set up the venue the day before the wedding. This can include setting up the wedding suite where the bridal party will get ready, or even helping with DIY projects and decorations. It's also a good idea to be flexible and prepared to help with any last-minute tasks that come up.
During the Wedding
On the wedding day, bridesmaids are expected to help the bride get ready and ensure she has everything she needs. This may include answering any incoming calls or texts, making sure she eats and stays hydrated, and assisting with her dress, shoes, jewellery, and veil.
Bridesmaids should also be prepared to lend a hand during the ceremony and reception. This could involve directing guests to their seats, assisting with the couple's exit, participating in the receiving line, and helping to seat guests at the wedding breakfast.
Post-Wedding
After the wedding, bridesmaids typically help with cleaning up and packing up any leftover items, decorations, and gifts. This may include returning hired clothing or accessories, taking down decorations, and collecting the wedding cake, centrepieces, and floral arrangements.
Additionally, bridesmaids can offer to help the couple with any post-wedding tasks, such as organising a farewell party or brunch the morning after the wedding.
Remember, being a bridesmaid is all about supporting the bride and ensuring her special day runs smoothly. So, be prepared to roll up your sleeves and assist wherever needed!
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Frequently asked questions
Bridesmaids are expected to plan and attend pre-wedding parties, help with wedding planning tasks, and provide emotional support to the bride. They are also responsible for shopping for and paying for their bridesmaid attire, booking travel and hotel reservations, and attending the rehearsal dinner.
On the wedding day, bridesmaids are expected to get ready with the bride, assist the maid of honour, provide snacks and drinks for the bridal party, participate in the ceremony, be photo-ready, and be model guests. They should also be prepared to answer any questions from vendors and ensure the bride has everything she needs.
Bridesmaids are typically expected to pay for their own attire, including the dress, shoes, jewellery, and other accessories. They may also be expected to contribute financially to pre-wedding events such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party, as well as gifts for the bride and couple.
After the wedding, bridesmaids may be expected to help with post-wedding tasks such as gathering personal items, transporting gifts, and participating in post-wedding events like a farewell brunch. They should also offer to return any hired clothing or accessories and help take down decorations.