Best Man's Wedding Role: Key Responsibilities Explained

The best man is the groom's right-hand man and is responsible for a variety of tasks before, during, and after the wedding. Typically, the best man is a close friend or relative of the groom, and their main duty is to support the groom and ensure the wedding runs smoothly. This includes helping to plan and organise the bachelor party, acting as a point of contact for the groomsmen and family members, and providing emotional support to the groom. The best man may also be responsible for tasks such as collecting money for a gift for the groom, helping to choose the wedding attire, holding the wedding rings during the ceremony, and giving a speech at the reception.

Planning the stag do

Pick Dates and Locations

First, check with the groom for a list of people he'd like to attend. Then, think about locations. A big blowout in Vegas might sound amazing, but if only a few people can afford to go, it might be better to plan a weekend closer to home where everyone can join in.

Pick Dates and Locations

Next, pick two or three potential dates and ask the rest of the group which they can attend. This is the easiest way to organise a large group of people without too much back and forth. Try to plan the stag do to take place up to three months before the wedding, so everyone has time to recover.

Budgeting

Make sure you consider everyone's budget when planning the stag do. You don't want to plan an expensive trip that only a few can afford.

Games and Pranks

Think about ways to personalise the stag do with games and funny pranks. Just make sure any pranks are good-natured and don't get the groom arrested!

Transport and Accommodation

If you need to book transport and accommodation, do this in advance to get the best deals.

Food and Drink

If you're planning a big night of drinking, make sure to provide food too.

Check-In

In the run-up to the wedding, check in with the groom to see how he's doing. This is an important part of your role as his right-hand man and confidant.

Organising formalwear

As the best man, you'll be in charge of heading up the formalwear process. This means helping the groom choose and rent or buy wedding formalwear, as well as coordinating the other groomsmen's ensembles. This might include gathering everyone's measurements, giving the group an order-by deadline, or even placing the order yourself.

Talk to the groom about what he wants everyone to wear and whether everyone is expected to match or coordinate. If so, look into ordering as a group to save a little money.

Here's a step-by-step guide to organising formalwear as the best man:

• Discuss the style and budget with the couple: Talk to the couple about their style preferences and whether they plan to buy or rent their wedding suits. It's important to have an open discussion about financial contributions and set a clear budget.
• Gather the wedding party's measurements: Get the measurements of the groom, groomsmen, and any other important members of the wedding party. This will ensure that everyone's attire fits well and there won't be any last-minute alterations needed.
• Set a deadline and place the order: Give the group a deadline to submit their measurements and preferences, and then place the order accordingly. If you're ordering as a group, make sure to do it together to take advantage of any group discounts.
• Coordinate any alterations: Stay on top of any alterations that may be needed. Keep track of when fittings are scheduled and confirm that everyone attends their appointments on time.
• Finalise accessories: Work with the groom to choose any accessories, such as cufflinks, ties, pocket squares, or shoes. Ensure that everyone in the wedding party is aware of the chosen accessories and has them ready for the wedding day.
• Remind the wedding party of their responsibilities: It's your job to keep everyone organised and on track. Send reminders to the groomsmen about their responsibilities, including the deadline for ordering attire, picking up their outfits, and returning any rented items after the wedding.
• Return or clean suits after the wedding: If the suits were rented, make sure to gather and return them promptly. If they were purchased, coordinate getting them dry-cleaned and returned to the couple or groomsmen.

Being the groom's right-hand man

Before the Wedding

As the best man, you are the head groomsman and the groom's go-to person for support and assistance. You will be responsible for leading and coordinating the other groomsmen, so clear communication is key. It's also your job to help the groom choose and purchase or rent their wedding formalwear, as well as coordinating the other groomsmen's ensembles. This may involve gathering measurements, setting order deadlines, or even placing the orders yourself.

Planning the Bachelor Party

One of your main responsibilities is to plan an awesome bachelor party that the groom will never forget. Consult with the groom to understand their preferences and work within their budget. Enlist the help of the other groomsmen for logistics and recommendations. Remember, you are not expected to pay for the entire party; the cost should be split evenly among the attendees, excluding the groom.

Emotional Support

Providing emotional support to the groom is a crucial aspect of being their right-hand man. Be there to listen to their concerns, offer reassurance, and help them stay focused and positive in the lead-up to the wedding.

Rehearsal and Rehearsal Dinner

Your presence is expected at the wedding rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner. During the rehearsal, you will need to ensure that the groomsmen and bridesmaids understand their roles for the big day. At the rehearsal dinner, you may be expected to give a small toast to kick off the festivities.

On the Wedding Day

On the wedding day itself, your priority is to ensure the groom and groomsmen arrive at the venue on time. You will also need to keep an eye on the clock throughout the day to make sure everyone is where they need to be at the right time.

Holding the Wedding Rings

If there is no official ring bearer, the best man is typically responsible for keeping the wedding rings safe until the vows are exchanged. This is a significant duty, so make sure you find a secure place to store the rings!

Witnessing the Marriage

The bride and groom will need two witnesses to sign their marriage license, and this honour is usually bestowed upon the best man and the maid of honour. Make sure you have a pen (and maybe even a backup) for this important task.

Giving a Speech

The best man's speech is one of the most important and anticipated moments of the reception. It should be a well-crafted, thoughtful speech that focuses on the newlyweds and their love story.

Keeping the Reception Alive

It's the best man's duty to ensure the groom has one of the greatest days of their life. Mingle with the guests, get the dance floor started, and dance with key members of the wedding party and family. Keep the energy high and make sure everyone is having a fantastic time.

Post-Wedding Responsibilities

Your duties don't end when the wedding is over! You may be asked to help with returning or cleaning hired suits, taking care of wedding gifts if the couple goes on their honeymoon immediately, and ensuring that all wedding-related expenses are settled.

Remember, communication is key. Don't be afraid to sit down with the groom and ask them about their expectations and how you can best support them. Being the groom's right-hand man is a privilege, and your efforts will go a long way in making their wedding day memorable.

Witnessing the marriage

The best man is also responsible for keeping the wedding rings safe until it is time to exchange vows. This is usually the role of the ring bearer, but if there is no ring bearer, or if the ring bearer is a dog, the best man takes on this responsibility. The best man should find a safe place for the rings and triple-check that his pockets don't have holes! If the ring bearer is carrying the rings on a pillow, the best man will fasten the rings to the pillow as they line up for the processional. When the ring bearer reaches the end of the aisle, they will pass the rings to the best man for safekeeping until they are requested by the officiant.

In addition to the rings, the best man may also be asked to hold the groom's personal items, such as their phone, wallet, and vows.

Giving a speech

The best man's speech is one of the most important parts of the wedding. It's a chance to celebrate the newlyweds and their love story, and it's also an opportunity for the best man to share some personal stories and well-wishes for the couple. Here are some tips to help you deliver a memorable and engaging speech:

Know Your Audience

It's important to remember that your speech should be appropriate for all guests in attendance. While it's fine to include some cheeky jokes or embarrassing stories, be mindful of older relatives or children who may be present. Run your speech by a trusted person to ensure that it strikes the right tone.

Structure Your Speech

Start by introducing yourself and explaining your relationship with the groom. Then, share some anecdotes or memories that highlight the groom's personality and your friendship. You can also include a few jokes or light-hearted teasing, but be sure to keep it good-natured and not offensive.

Share Well-Wishes for the Couple

As the best man, you have a unique perspective on the couple's relationship. Share your observations about their love and compatibility, and offer your sincere wishes for their future together. This is also a good opportunity to welcome the bride into the family, if applicable.

Keep it Concise

While your speech is an important part of the wedding, try to keep it concise and avoid rambling. Aim for a length of around 5-7 minutes, depending on the number of other speakers. Practise your speech beforehand to ensure that it stays within a reasonable timeframe.

Include a Toast

Traditionally, the best man's speech is followed by a toast to the newlyweds. Prepare a short, heartfelt toast to conclude your speech and invite the guests to raise their glasses in celebration of the couple.

Rehearse and Prepare

Practising your speech beforehand will help you feel more confident and comfortable when delivering it on the big day. Practise in front of a mirror, time yourself, and make note of any areas where you can improve. You may also want to have a backup copy of your speech in case you lose your place or need to refer to it during your delivery.

Remember, the most important thing is to speak from the heart and celebrate the happy couple. Your speech is a chance to honour your friendship with the groom and wish them a lifetime of happiness together. Enjoy the experience and have fun with it!

Frequently asked questions