Deborah Chan
The best man is the groom's right-hand man at the wedding. He is usually a close friend or relative and is responsible for supporting the groom during the wedding planning process and on the big day. The best man also acts as a point of contact for the groomsmen and is in charge of planning the bachelor party. The best man stands next to the groom during the ceremony and is responsible for keeping the wedding rings safe until they are needed. In some cultures, the best man is also expected to give a speech.
While it is less traditional, a best woman can take on the same role and responsibilities as a best man. This role is usually given to a close female friend or relative of the groom.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Position in wedding party | The best man is the groom's right-hand man at the wedding, standing next to the groom during the ceremony. The best woman stands on the groom's side during the wedding. |
| Chosen by | The groom chooses the best man. The bride chooses the best woman. |
| Relationship to the couple | Usually a close friend or relative of the groom or bride. |
| Responsibilities | To be the groom's go-to confidante, personal valet and logistics guru for pre-wedding events and day-of details. The best man is also in charge of the groomsmen, leading all communication and spearheading their activities and duties. The best woman is involved in events like the bachelor party, the shower, the rehearsal dinner, and the wedding itself, acting as a coordinator and detail-wrangler. |
| Duties | Plan the bachelor party, keep the wedding rings safe, act as a legal witness to the marriage and sign the marriage certificate, give a best man's speech, help the groom get ready on the wedding day, be the time enforcer, decorate the getaway car, collect gifts, and more. The best woman may also be involved in these duties, as well as helping to choose the wedding band. |
What You'll Learn
What does a best man or best woman do?
A best man or best woman is the chief assistant to the groom at a wedding. The role is generally given to someone close to the groom, such as a close friend or relative. During the wedding ceremony, the best man or best woman stands next to the groom, slightly behind them. This means that the four people present at the altar are the officiant, the bride, the groom, and the best man or best woman.
In most modern Anglophone countries, the best man or best woman will typically:
- Assist the groom on the wedding day
- Organise a bachelor party
- Keep the wedding rings safe until the ceremony
- Act as a legal witness to the marriage and sign the marriage certificate
- Prepare a "best man's speech" to be read at the reception
In some cultures, the best man or best woman may have different responsibilities. For example, in Zambia, they are expected to lead processions at the wedding and preliminary events, including dance rehearsals. In Uganda, the best man or best woman is expected to guide the newlyweds in the ways of marriage, ideally being married themselves and able to give sound and tried advice. In Bhutan, the best man or best woman presents themselves as a ceremonial guardian to the bride and groom and entertains the guests, sometimes for several hours.
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What should a best woman wear?
A best woman is the female equivalent of a best man, and she can be dressed in a variety of ways depending on the preferences of the couple getting married and the theme of the wedding.
Firstly, it is important to avoid wearing white or colours that are too similar to white, such as off-white or very pale blue. This is a general rule for wedding guests, and it is particularly important for the best woman to follow, as she will be standing up at the altar with the bridal party. It is also best to avoid wearing colours that match the wedding colour scheme, so that you don't look like you are part of the bridal party.
If the wedding is formal or black-tie, the best woman should wear a floor-length gown in a sumptuous fabric such as silk or organza. A sophisticated cocktail dress may also be acceptable, and women can also opt for an elegant pantsuit if they feel more comfortable in that silhouette. If the wedding is black-tie optional, the same outfits are appropriate, but it is also more acceptable to wear a dress that shows the ankles. For a cocktail dress code, women should opt for a tea-length, knee-length, or midi look.
If the wedding is semi-formal or dressy casual, the best woman can wear a below-the-knee dress, a slip dress, a dressy skirt and top, or an elegant pantsuit, styled with heels, wedges, or formal flats.
It is also important to consider the season when choosing an outfit. In winter, thicker fabrics like velvet are appropriate, while spring calls for florals and summer requires lighter fabrics like cotton and linen.
Finally, it is worth noting that the best woman should not feel that she has to wear a dress if she does not want to. A well-tailored pantsuit or trousers with a polished blouse can be a great alternative to a dress or skirt, and can still be dressed up with a matching blazer or a monochrome look.
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What are some alternative names for a best woman?
A best woman is the female equivalent of a best man at a wedding. The best man is the groom's chief assistant and is usually his closest friend or relative. The best man has several duties, including organising a bachelor party, keeping the wedding rings safe, and acting as a legal witness to the marriage.
Similarly, the best woman is the bride's closest friend or relative who helps her on the wedding day and with planning. Some alternative names for a best woman include:
- Best Lady
- Best Maid or Matron
- Woman of Honour
- Honour Attendant
- Sister of Honour
- Handmaiden
- Bride's Attendant
- Bridesmaid
- Maid of Honour
- Matron of Honour
- Bride's Woman
- Groomswoman
- Grooms-chick
- Bridesfolk
- Bride's Gang
- Bride's Coven
- Bride's Squad
- Bride's Peeps
- Bride's Crew
- Bride's Minions
- Bride's Butler
- Bride's Sister
- Bride's Bishes and Hos
- Bride's Ladies in Waiting
- Bride's Entourage
- Bride's Posse
- Bride's VIPs
- Bride's Sidekick
- Bride's Bro-maid
- Bride's Best People
- Bride's Co-conspirators
- Bride's Harbingers of Wedding Cheer
- Bride's Honour Guard
- Bride's Dazzling Dames
- Bride's Gang
- Bride's Squad
- Bride's Support Tribe
- Bride's I Do Crew
- Bride's Adventuring Party
- Bride's Airship Crew
- Bride's Shieldmaiden
- Bride's Bridesdudes
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What is the history of the best man role?
The role of the best man is older than the earliest surviving written use of the term, which dates back to 1782. In modern times, the best man is the groom's chief assistant and is usually a close friend or relative. The role typically includes assisting the groom on the wedding day, organising a bachelor party, keeping the wedding rings safe, standing next to the groom during the ceremony, acting as a legal witness to the marriage, and preparing a speech for the reception.
However, the history of the best man is quite different. The tradition of the best man is thought to have originated in Medieval Germany, where women were subject to extremely culturally charged norms and were sometimes forcibly kept at home. In this context, the best man played a role in assisting the groom in "capturing" the bride. This practice also occurred in 16th-century Britain, where it was commonplace for grooms to abduct brides from neighbouring towns. The best man would join the groom and his entourage in kidnapping the bride from her home. This was due to a shortage of women in the groom's community, and the need to forcefully take a bride if her family did not approve of the marriage.
In Germany, there was also a real threat of the bride's family attempting to retrieve her by force. Thus, the best man was heavily armed and remained at the groom's side throughout the marriage ceremony to fend off any attackers. This is why it is traditional, especially in the UK, for men at weddings to wear swords.
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What are some examples of best woman experiences?
A best woman is the female equivalent of a best man, and is responsible for similar duties, such as holding the wedding rings, signing the marriage certificate, and giving a speech.
Example 1: Planning the Bachelorette Party
The best woman can take charge of planning the bachelorette party, creating a fun and memorable experience for the bride and her friends. This may include organising activities, decorations, and any other special touches to make the event unique and enjoyable for the bride.
Example 2: Supporting the Groom
As the best woman, she can offer support and assistance to the groom on the wedding day. This may include helping the groom with his outfit, calming his nerves, and ensuring he arrives at the ceremony on time. She may also be responsible for looking after the wedding rings and ensuring they are readily available during the ceremony.
Example 3: Giving a Speech
The best woman traditionally gives a speech at the wedding reception. This can be a fun and light-hearted speech, sharing stories and anecdotes about the groom, or it can be more sentimental, celebrating the couple's relationship and offering well-wishes for their future together.
Example 4: Participating in Wedding Traditions
The best woman can also be involved in local or regional wedding traditions. For example, she might participate in decorating the newlywed couple's car, or take part in any cultural or religious rituals that are part of the wedding celebrations.
Example 5: Being a Confidant and Advisor
In some cultures, the best woman plays an important advisory role for the newlyweds. For instance, in Uganda, the best man and best woman are expected to guide the couple in the ways of marriage, offering tried and tested advice as a married individual themselves.
These examples showcase the diverse and important role that a best woman can play in a wedding, offering support, advice, and a unique perspective to the celebrations.
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Frequently asked questions
A best man is the chief assistant to the groom at a wedding. They are usually a close friend or relative of the groom, and their duties include assisting the groom on the wedding day, organising a bachelor party, keeping the wedding rings safe, and preparing a speech.
A best woman is the female equivalent of a best man. She takes on the same duties as a best man and is usually a close friend or relative of the groom.
Yes, it is becoming increasingly common for grooms to have mixed-gender wedding parties. In this case, the best man and best woman would typically wear outfits that match the colour scheme of their respective sides of the wedding party.
