Best Man's Duties: Before And During The Wedding

The best man is the groom's right-hand man and one of the most important people in the bridal party. The role is usually given to the groom's closest friend or family member and comes with a variety of duties and responsibilities. From planning an epic stag do and writing a brilliant speech to helping choose suits and keeping the wedding rings safe, the best man is responsible for ensuring the groom's needs are met and that the wedding day runs smoothly.

Organising the stag do

Meet with the Groom:

Start by having a conversation with the groom to understand his expectations and preferences. Discuss potential dates, the duration of the stag do, the type of activities he wants to do, and the guests he wants to invite. It's also a good idea to choose two or three potential weekends that work for both of you.

Create a Guest List:

Prepare a full guest list with contact information, including email addresses and phone numbers. This will be useful when reaching out to guests to confirm their availability and gather their commitments.

Consider Time, Budget, and Destination:

Think about the group's budget and time constraints when choosing a destination. It's important to select a location that is convenient for most attendees. You don't want to choose a destination that is too far or too expensive for most of the groom's friends.

Choose Accommodation:

Once you've decided on a destination, it's time to book suitable accommodation. Hotels are often the most convenient option, but you can also consider cottages, glamping, or camping, depending on the group's preferences and budget.

Plan Activities:

The expectation for most stag weekends is to include fun-filled activities. Try to choose something original and unique that most people haven't done before. This could be a specific type of activity, like paintballing, or a package deal that includes multiple activities and accommodation.

Manage Logistics:

Don't forget to take care of the smaller details, like transportation to and from the destination, restaurant reservations, and any other additional activities or entertainment.

Collect Payments:

Handling payments can be a challenge, as people may drop out or be reluctant to pay. Consider using a service that allows individual payments, so you don't have to chase down funds from everyone.

Keep the Bride Informed:

Remember, you'll have to answer to the bride if things go wrong! Keep her informed about the general plans and any potential concerns.

Enjoy the Weekend:

Finally, don't forget to relax and enjoy the stag do! As the best man, you'll also be responsible for looking after the stag and ensuring he has a great time.

Organising a stag do can be a challenging task, but with proper planning and communication, you can create an unforgettable weekend for the groom and all the guests.

Writing a best man's speech

So, you've been asked to be the best man at a wedding – congratulations! Now it's time to start thinking about one of the most important parts of the role: the best man's speech. Here's a step-by-step guide to writing a great one.

Step 1: Plan Ahead

Give yourself plenty of time to work on the speech – don't leave it until the last minute! Start by jotting down some initial ideas and the key points you want to make. The more time you give yourself, the less stressful this task will be.

Step 2: Know Your Audience

Remember that your speech will be heard by a whole room full of people, from the happy couple to their parents and grandparents. Keep things polite and avoid any stories or jokes that might offend people. It's a good idea to run your speech past someone you trust before the big day to check that you've got the tone right.

Step 3: Structure

A good structure to follow is to start with an introduction, then tell a few funny or touching anecdotes about the groom, and end with a toast to the happy couple. Keep things simple and clear, and don't ramble!

Step 4: Rehearse

Practice makes perfect, so make sure you rehearse your speech several times before the wedding. Practising will help you feel more confident and ensure your delivery is clear and well-paced. It's a good idea to have a copy of your speech with you on the day, too, in case you go blank!

Step 5: Keep Things Light

Your speech should be fun and celebratory. It's fine to include a few gentle jokes at the groom's expense, but remember to be kind. This is also not the time to air any grievances or bring up embarrassing stories from the past. Keep things positive and good-natured.

Step 6: Be Yourself

Try to relax and be yourself when you're giving the speech. It's natural to feel nervous, but the more you can enjoy the moment, the better your speech will be. Remember that everyone wants you to do well, and they'll be willing you on!

Step 7: Keep an Eye on the Clock

Don't ramble on for too long – a best man's speech should ideally last around 5-10 minutes. Any shorter and it might feel rushed, but you also don't want to go on so long that people start to get bored!

Step 8: Enjoy It!

Finally, remember to savour the moment. Being asked to be someone's best man is a huge honour, and giving a speech is a chance to celebrate your friend and share some happy memories. Enjoy the process, and have fun on the day!

Helping choose suits

As the best man, you'll be responsible for helping the groom and groomsmen choose their suits. Here are some tips to help you with this task:

Offer Your Help

First things first: offer to help! The groom might not ask you to get involved in choosing the suits, so make sure you reach out and offer your services. Even if he doesn't take you up on your offer, he'll appreciate the gesture.

Round Up the Groomsmen

If you're spread across the country, ask the groomsmen for their measurements and pass them on to the groom. If you're all in the same place, organise a time when you can all go to the suit shop together to get measured up.

Give Your Honest Opinion

Don't be afraid to speak your mind when the groom asks for your opinion. It's an important day, and you both need to look your best. Be diplomatic, but honest, when giving your feedback on the suits.

Get Organised

Organisation is key! Make sure you're on top of all the details, from knowing when and where you're all getting measured up, to keeping track of when the suits need to be returned after the wedding.

Keep an Eye on the Groom

The groom might feel overwhelmed by the amount of planning and organising that goes into a wedding. Check in with him from time to time to see how he's doing, and offer him a friendly ear if he needs to vent.

Make it Fun

Part of being a best man is creating a sense of occasion and excitement for the groom and the bridal party. Stay positive and upbeat in the lead-up to the wedding, and be the life and soul of the party on the day itself.

Keeping the wedding rings safe

Before the Wedding

Firstly, it is not necessary to hand over the rings to the best man weeks or months before the wedding. The longer they are out of the couple's possession, the greater the chance they could be lost. It is recommended to give the rings to the best man the night before the wedding, in their original box or a box chosen for the ceremony.

During the Wedding

The best man should keep the rings in a safe place, such as the box they came in, and triple-check that his pockets do not have holes! If there is a ring bearer, the best man will fasten the rings to the pillow as they line up for the processional. When the ring bearer reaches the end of the aisle, the best man will take the rings back for safekeeping until they are requested by the officiant.

After the Wedding

The best man may be responsible for returning any hired items, such as the wedding attire, so it is important to keep track of the rings and ensure they are not misplaced during the celebrations.

General Tips

• The best man should be organised and prepared. It is a good idea to have a kit of essentials, including a spare copy of the groom's speech, to ensure nothing is forgotten.
• The best man should not be drinking alcohol excessively throughout the day, as he needs to remain responsible and reliable.
• The best man should keep the rings secure at all times, perhaps in an inside jacket pocket, and be aware of their location at all times.
• The best man should be aware of the timeline of events and ensure he is present for the exchange of vows, with the rings ready to be handed over.

Overall, the best man plays a crucial role in keeping the wedding rings safe, and it is important that he takes on this responsibility with care and attention to ensure the wedding day runs smoothly.

Acting as a witness

In addition to signing the marriage license, the best man may also be responsible for fastening the rings to the pillow used by the ring bearer during the processional. When the ring bearer reaches the end of the aisle, he will pass the rings back to the best man for safekeeping until they are requested by the officiant.

The best man is also responsible for ensuring that the groom and groomsmen arrive at the venue on time and are in the right place at the right time throughout the ceremony. This includes making sure that everyone is on schedule during the morning of the wedding and helping to wrangle the groomsmen during the ceremony.

Finally, the best man may be called upon to act as a witness during the reception as well. If the couple decides to open up the floor for toasts, the best man is often the first to step in. This should be a well-crafted speech that focuses on the newlyweds and their love story.

Frequently asked questions