Chinese Weddings: Women's Rituals

Chinese weddings are a vibrant affair, steeped in rich traditions and rituals. The day is not just about the union of two people but also the joining of two families. While Chinese weddings have evolved to incorporate modern elements, traditional customs are still observed, especially in more rural areas.

On the wedding day, the groom and his entourage will collect the bride from her parents' house. Here, the bridal party will set a series of fun challenges, known as door games, for the groom and his groomsmen to complete before the bride is handed over. These games are designed to test the groom's love for his bride and can include anything from singing a love song to performing a set number of push-ups. Once the groom has proven his love, the couple will travel to the groom's house for the tea ceremony.

The tea ceremony is a significant part of the Chinese wedding tradition, where the couple pays their respects and expresses gratitude to their parents and elders by serving them tea. In turn, the couple receives red envelopes filled with money and blessings for a happy marriage.

The wedding banquet is a lavish affair with multiple courses of food and entertainment. It is customary for the bride to change outfits several times throughout the banquet, often wearing a red qipao dress, a white bridal gown, and a ball gown.

The bride wears a red dress, symbolising happiness, prosperity and good luck

Chinese weddings are steeped in rich history and tradition, with red being the most popular colour of the day. The bride's dress is often red, symbolising happiness, prosperity and good luck. This is in stark contrast to Western weddings, where red is often avoided by guests, as it could be seen as upstaging the bride. In Chinese culture, red is a sacred colour, associated with honour, success, loyalty, fertility and love. It is also believed to ward off evil spirits on the big day.

The traditional Chinese wedding dress is called a Qipao or a Cheongsam. It is a one-piece red dress that often features an elaborate gold or silver design. Brides in Southern China wear a Long Feng Gua – a two-piece red dress adorned with a dragon and phoenix, symbolising the groom and bride respectively. The bride may also wear a red silk veil, which is removed by the groom to symbolise the start of their life together.

Gold is another important colour in Chinese weddings, as it represents wealth and fortune. It is often incorporated into the bride's attire through gold embroidery or accents. The groom's family may also gift the bride gold jewellery during the tea ceremony, a common wedding tradition in Asian cultures.

In modern times, it has become increasingly common for Chinese brides to wear a white Western-style wedding dress in addition to the traditional red Qipao. This is especially the case when the bride has multiple outfit changes throughout the wedding celebrations.

Chinese weddings are a blend of traditional customs and Western influence. While the bride's dress may be traditional, other aspects of the wedding, such as the exchange of wedding rings and the signing of the marriage license, may follow Western traditions.

Bridesmaids play 'door games' with the groom to test his dedication to the bride

In Chinese culture, wedding door games are a tradition that puts the bridesmaids against the groom and his groomsmen. The games are played before the groom can enter the bride's room and see her for the first time on their wedding day. The games are designed to test the groom's character, determination, and love for the bride, as well as to bring good luck and blessings to the newlyweds.

The Bargaining Game

The groom and his groomsmen must negotiate with the bridesmaids to enter the bride's room. The bridesmaids will present a series of challenges, such as singing a love song, dancing, or answering trivia questions. The groom and his groomsmen must complete each challenge to get closer to the bride, and they may also have to pay a "bribe" in the form of red envelopes filled with cash.

The Treasure Hunt Game

The bride and her bridesmaids hide a set of items around the house, and the groom and his groomsmen must find them within a time limit. The items usually have symbolic meanings related to the couple's relationship, such as a photo, a love letter, or a souvenir from a trip. This game adds an element of excitement and competition to the wedding festivities.

The Four Flavors of Life

Marriage is full of sweet, sour, bitter, and spicy moments. In this game, the groom and his groomsmen are presented with foods or drinks representing these flavors, and they must consume them all. This game prepares the groom for the different experiences he will encounter in married life.

The Q+A Test

The bridesmaids or family members ask the groom a series of questions about the bride and their relationship. If the groom answers enough questions correctly, he passes the test and can finally meet his bride. This game can be played during the wedding procession or at the door of the wedding banquet.

No Pain, No Gain

The groom and his groomsmen must complete a series of challenges, such as solving riddles or reciting love poems. For every failed challenge, they are punished with leg waxing, adding an element of excitement and anticipation to the game.

These door games are a fun and interactive part of Chinese weddings, allowing the groom to demonstrate his love and commitment to the bride. While they are meant to be lighthearted and entertaining, they also carry symbolic significance and add to the overall joy of the wedding celebration.

The couple bow to the bride's parents before she leaves with the groom

The Chinese wedding ceremony is a colourful, lively affair, steeped in tradition and symbolism. One of the most important rituals is the tea ceremony, which takes place at the groom's house. This is when the couple bows to the bride's parents to show their respect, gratitude, and appreciation for their love and support.

The groom will often go to the bride's house to collect her, but not before he and his groomsmen have succeeded in a series of tests or games set by the bridal party, called "door games". These games are designed to prove the groom's love for his bride, and upon completion, the groom gives red envelopes of money to the bride's sisters and friends.

Once the games are complete, the couple proceeds to the groom's house for the tea ceremony. Here, the couple will bow to the bride's parents, before the bride is taken to the groom's house. The couple will then bow to the heavens and the earth, as a gesture of respect to the gods and their ancestors, and then to each other, representing their eternal love for one another.

The tea ceremony is an important tradition in Chinese weddings, and it is a time when the couple expresses their gratitude and respect to their parents and elders. The bride and groom will kneel and serve tea to their parents, starting with the groom's parents, followed by the bride's, and then other elders in descending order of age. After each person takes a sip of tea, the couple will be offered a red envelope with money or gold jewellery as a blessing for the union and as a formal welcome to the family.

The couple bowing to the bride's parents is a significant part of the Chinese wedding ceremony, as it symbolises the couple's respect and gratitude to those who have raised them, and it is an important step in uniting the two families.

The tea ceremony is a time for the couple to show gratitude to their parents

The tea ceremony is a time-honoured tradition in Chinese weddings, dating back to the Tang dynasty (618-907 AD). It is a time for the couple to show gratitude and respect to their parents, in-laws, and other family members. The ceremony usually takes place at the couple's respective family homes or at the hotel where the wedding banquet will be held.

During the ceremony, the couple kneels before their elders and serves them tea with the help of attendants, usually the bridesmaids. The tea is served individually by both the bride and groom, and each family member receives a total of two cups. The couple offers the tea with both hands and says, " [Family member name / Chinese kinship term], please have some tea." The groom's family is served first, followed by the bride's family. The parents and in-laws are the key recipients, but other relatives such as grandparents, aunts, and uncles may also participate.

After drinking the tea, the family members offer their blessings and gifts to the couple. They give lai see, red envelopes containing cash, jewellery, or other wedding gifts. The bride is expected to put on any jewellery immediately as a sign of respect and acceptance.

The tea ceremony is a meaningful part of the wedding day and is considered one of the biggest components in a Chinese wedding. It symbolises the union of two families and is an opportunity for the couple to acknowledge and thank the people who raised them.

Red envelopes filled with money are given to the couple

Red envelopes, known as "hongbao" in Mandarin, are given as gifts at weddings and other celebratory occasions in China and some other parts of Asia. The colour red symbolises good luck and wards off evil spirits. The red envelope is also known as "money warding off old age" in Chinese.

The amount of money in the envelope is usually intended to cover the cost of the wedding banquet for each guest, as well as to wish the newlyweds good fortune. The amount given is often recorded in a ceremonial ledger for the couple to keep.

It is customary to avoid opening the envelopes in front of relatives, instead opening them in private or when you get home. The amount of money given depends on the relationship between the guest and the couple, with closer relationships giving more money. It is also important to use new, crisp bank notes and avoid coins.

The red envelopes are usually decorated with beautiful Chinese calligraphy and symbols, such as the double happiness character, which is reserved solely for weddings. The character for "blessing" is another safe option.

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