Formal Wedding Traditions And Rituals

Formal weddings are a time to dress up and have fun with your outfit, but they don't require the same level of formality as a black-tie event. For women, this means a dressy suit, long gown, or a dark-coloured formal cocktail dress with high heels or dressy ballet flats. For men, a dark-coloured suit or tuxedo is appropriate, but a tuxedo is not required.

When it comes to accessories, you can have a bit of fun and add a pop of colour with your shoes, a patterned tie, a statement piece of jewellery, or a pair of sunglasses if the wedding is outdoors.

Dress code

When it comes to formal weddings, the dress code is fancy and flexible. Men can wear a tuxedo, but they don't have to—a dark suit and tie are also appropriate. Dress shoes are a must. Consider patent leather loafers for a tux or laced oxfords for a suit. It is also a good idea to wear cufflinks and a french cuff, ensuring that your sleeve is slightly longer than your jacket so that the cufflinks are visible.

For women, formal wedding guest dresses include both evening gowns and elegant cocktail frocks, so pick the hemline you feel best in. That being said, you don't have to wear a dress at all. A jumpsuit or a suit are also good options. When shopping for formal wedding outfits, consider the venue and season. Lighter fabrics, brighter colours, and shorter hemlines are common for summer events, while darker shades, thicker fabrics, and longer sleeves and hemlines are more suitable for winter weddings.

When it comes to colours, embellishments, and hem lengths, you have a lot of flexibility. Don't be afraid to have fun with your fashion choices, whether it's through a fun colour or a playful print. A knee-length dress, a midi dress, or even a flowy maxi dress are all appropriate choices. As for accessories, a colourful shoe, a patterned tie, a statement piece of jewellery, or a fun pair of sunglasses (if the wedding is outdoors) can all add personality to your ensemble.

Overall, pick an outfit that you truly love and feel your best in, while still being respectful of the couple's attire request. As for colours to avoid, steer clear of white, ivory, cream, or champagne-coloured dresses and light-coloured suits. You should also avoid anything that may be too casual, such as a cotton sundress or a sports coat with chino pants.

Food

Plated Sit-Down Dinner

The most traditional style for a formal wedding reception is a plated sit-down dinner. This usually consists of two courses (an appetizer and an entrée) and dessert if served tableside. Guests are usually offered the same appetizer, and then the main course is handled in one of the following ways:

• Guests are served the same entrée with a vegetarian or vegan alternative.
• Guests select their entrée from a menu, typically a meat or fish option, plus a vegetarian option.
• Guests preselect their entrée choice when they submit their RSVPs.

Family-Style Dinner

A family-style dinner is a more casual alternative to a plated sit-down dinner. It involves passing around big platters and bowls of food at the table, similar to what you might do with your family at home. The first course is typically served with one or two options, and the main course includes a protein and two sides or multiple proteins with multiple sides.

Buffet-Style Dinner

A buffet-style dinner features long tables topped with a wide variety of food options. This gives guests the most variety but can be more expensive and take longer, as not everyone will get their food at the same time.

Cocktail-Style Dinner

A cocktail-style reception is less traditional and involves guests standing and mingling while snacking on small bites. This can be a cost-effective option, as a full meal does not need to be served, and it is a good choice if you have a large guest list. It is important to note, however, that this style may not accommodate older guests and that guests may drink more as they have access to the bar.

When it comes to specific food ideas, there are many options to choose from, depending on your preferences and budget. Here are some ideas for different types of food you may want to include in your wedding:

• Appetizers: shrimp cocktail, steak kebobs, tuna tartar, chicken wings, sliders, mini tacos, bruschetta, Caprese cups, spring rolls, mini mac and cheese bites, deviled eggs, etc.
• Entrees: steak and salad, kebabs, fried chicken, salmon, fish with a seasonal glaze, lobster, lasagna, spaghetti squash, lamb, etc.
• Desserts: wedding cake, cookies, cupcakes, popsicles, hand pies, mini cheesecakes, macarons, strawberry shortcake, candy bar, etc.
• Buffet ideas: popcorn bar, grazing station with meats and cheeses, waffle bar, pizza, taco bar, donut wall, salad bar, charcuterie board, bagel bar, etc.

Venue

The venue is a crucial aspect of a formal wedding, and with a smaller guest list, you have more flexibility and creativity in your choices. Here are some ideas and tips for selecting the perfect venue for your intimate wedding:

• Remote and Romantic: Consider choosing a remote and romantic location, such as a wilderness reserve, or a city venue like a pub or restaurant, which can be more accommodating for smaller groups.
• Alternative Seating: Get creative with seating arrangements for your guests. Hay bales or rug cushions can add a unique and intimate touch to your ceremony, especially in outdoor settings.
• Ceremony Layout: With fewer guests, you can experiment with different ceremony layouts. Try curved rows of chairs surrounding the altar for a more inclusive feel.
• Large Spaces: Don't shy away from grand venues just because you have a small guest list. Drape fairy lights and chandeliers to create a cosy atmosphere, even in a large space.
• Intimate Details: Pay attention to the little details that will make your day memorable. This could be Lego buttonholes, personalised favours, or handwritten notes for each guest.
• Private Moments: Smaller weddings allow you to create private moments, such as arriving together, having a picnic just the two of you, or even a private first dance.
• Pets and Animals: Including pets and other animals, such as donkeys or alpacas, can be more manageable and less overwhelming for the animals with a smaller guest list.
• Cocktail Stations: Spice up your drinks by setting up a "pimp your drink" station, where guests can create their own cocktail concoctions or add unique toppings.
• Food and Dining: With fewer guests, you can get creative with food presentations. Consider interactive dining experiences like a BBQ or sharing platters to encourage mingling and a cosy atmosphere.
• Personalisation: Take advantage of a smaller guest list to personalise more of your wedding décor, such as place cards, napkins, chairs, and even your guest book.
• Scented Venue: Create an intimate ambiance by scenting your venue with candles, adding a memorable fragrance to your special day.
• Table Layouts: Experiment with non-traditional table layouts, such as square tables or a top table for just the newlyweds.
• Floral Installations: Make a statement with large, elaborate floral installations, transforming even the smallest venue into a breathtaking space.
• Live Entertainment: Hire live artists, musicians, or even a live painting service where your guests can contribute to a unique memento of your special day.

Timing

• Morning/Afternoon: A formal wedding typically takes place in the evening, but if it is held during the day, it is essential to adjust the level of formality accordingly. This means a slightly more relaxed dress code and a menu that resembles a holiday dinner or a nice meal with friends.
• Early Afternoon: A formal wedding starting in the early afternoon can be challenging in terms of attire. It is best to opt for something between formal and casual. For women, a knee-length or midi cocktail dress would be appropriate, while men can go for a dark suit with dress pants and loafers.
• Late Afternoon/Early Evening: As the sun sets, the level of formality increases. A formal wedding at this time of day is expected to be more elegant and sophisticated. Guests should aim for floor-length gowns or elegant cocktail dresses for women and tuxedos or dark suits for men.
• Evening: A formal evening wedding is the epitome of decorum and elegance. Think "black-tie optional" attire. Women can don long gowns, dressy suits, or dark-coloured formal cocktail dresses, while men can choose between tuxedos and formal dark-coloured suits. The menu at this time of day should also reflect the formality, with food comparable to a "big date" or a romantic birthday dinner.
• After 6 PM: If your formal wedding commences after 6 PM, it is considered a "black-tie" event, which is even more formal. Guests are expected to wear full-length evening gowns or dark-coloured neutral tones, while men should be in dark-coloured tuxedos, bow ties, and dress shoes. The reception that follows will likely include lively dancing and other fun activities.

Remember, these are general guidelines, and the level of formality can vary depending on cultural traditions, personal preferences, and the couple's interpretation of "formal." It is always a good idea to pay attention to the invitation, the venue, and the couple's wedding website for more specific details and instructions.

Music and entertainment

Music

Music is a must for a formal wedding. You could hire a DJ or a band, or both. A DJ will keep the dance floor full all night, while a live band can add a touch of sophistication or rustic charm, depending on your theme. If you're having a more intimate gathering, you might opt for an acoustic singer and guitarist, or even a string quartet. For a unique twist, you could hire a steel drum band, a bagpiper, or a Scottish bagpipe and drumming duo. If you're feeling brave, you and your partner could even perform your own song!

Entertainment

The type of entertainment you choose will depend on your wedding theme, the number of guests, and the age range of your guests. For example, if there are lots of children attending, you might want to hire a children's entertainer or set up a separate room with face painting, balloons, colouring books, and games. For the adults, a photo booth is always a popular choice, or you could provide an Instax mini camera for guests to take their own snaps. Outdoor games are a great way to get your guests mingling—how about a sack race or a game of giant Jenga? If your wedding has a retro theme, you could set up some old-school arcade games. For something more relaxed, a tarot card reader or fortune teller would be an intriguing addition. If your venue has the space, fairground rides will go down a treat, or you could organise a treasure hunt to keep your guests busy. Food and drink-based entertainment is always a winner—why not set up a DIY cocktail bar or a whisky-tasting table? And don't forget the dance floor—a choreographed first dance or a dance-off competition will get everyone involved!

Frequently asked questions