Wedding Night: What To Expect

The wedding night is often portrayed in films and pop culture as a romantic and passionate experience, with many couples expected to consummate their marriage. However, in reality, 65% of couples surveyed by Hitched said they were too tired, drunk or busy celebrating to have sex. Some couples shared stories of interrupted bridesmaids, lost lingerie, and grooms suffering from food poisoning and hangovers. For those who do choose to have sex, it can be a beautiful and memorable experience, with some couples reporting multiple instances of lovemaking throughout the night and into the morning.

Sex and sexual expectations

There is a lot of pressure put on the wedding night to be the romantic culmination of a day of love, with many couples ripping each other's clothes off and consummating their marriage. However, this is not always the case, and it is completely normal for couples not to have sex on their wedding night. In fact, in a survey of 1,834 Hitched Instagram users, only 642 (less than 40%) said they had sex on their wedding night. There are many reasons why couples might wait until after the wedding night to get physically intimate, but often it is simply because they are too tired.

For those couples who do decide to have sex on their wedding night, it is important to manage expectations. The idea that there 'should' be amazing sex on a wedding night is quite outdated and misleading, and can cause shame if the experience does not live up to the hype. It is important to remember that sex is not always accurate depicted in film and TV, and that in real life, it may be awkward, a little weird, and not particularly incredible.

If you are planning to lose your virginity on your wedding night, it is a good idea to do some research beforehand. Get to know your body through masturbation, and don't be afraid to explore. Focus on foreplay and take your time – you don't want to rush into things and find it painful. Consider using lube, and choose a simple, comfortable position such as missionary or spooning.

If you and your partner are both too tired for sex on your wedding night, don't worry! There will be plenty of other opportunities to be intimate. You can always make up for it on your honeymoon or the morning after.

Tiredness and drunkenness

Wedding planning and the wedding day itself can be exhausting, and it is understandable that couples may not feel up for sex by the time their wedding night comes around. The pressure to perform and have an enjoyable, romantic, and magical sexual experience can be overwhelming and unrealistic, especially after a long and tiring day.

Drunkenness can also play a role in couples' decisions not to be intimate on their wedding night. Alcohol can impact a person's ability to become aroused and experience desire. Additionally, drunkenness can lead to unusual behaviour, confusion, and disorientation. It is important to note that in rare cases, people have harmed themselves or others while under the influence.

Ultimately, it is normal for couples not to have sex on their wedding night due to tiredness or drunkenness, and it should not be a cause for shame or disappointment. Couples should communicate their feelings and expectations regarding wedding night sex and be flexible and empathetic towards each other.

Food and eating

Eating well on your wedding night is important to ensure you have the energy to celebrate and enjoy your special day. Here are some tips for food and eating on your wedding night:

Before the Wedding Night

The food you eat before your wedding night can impact how you feel during the celebrations. It is important to eat nourishing meals in the days leading up to your wedding to ensure you are energised and not feeling bloated. Salads, bowls, and lean proteins are great options to include in your pre-wedding meals. Stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water, and if you want juice, opt for freshly squeezed options instead of carbonated beverages.

On the Wedding Night

It is easy to forget to eat on your wedding day, but it is crucial to fuel your body to keep your energy up. Here are some tips for food and eating on your wedding night:

• Eat a nutritious breakfast: Start your day with a healthy breakfast that includes protein and fibre. Examples include peanut butter toast with fruit, a whole-grain bagel with light cream cheese, or Greek yogurt with fruit and granola.
• Light meals and frequent snacks: Opt for a light lunch and snack often throughout the day. Some light snack options include dried fruit and nuts, string cheese and whole wheat crackers, or fruits like bananas, apples, and oranges.
• Be mindful of alcohol consumption: Enjoy a few drinks with your guests, but pace yourself and drink water in between alcoholic beverages to stay hydrated.
• Eat with your guests: Whenever your guests are eating, make sure you eat too. Even a few bites can help keep your energy up.
• Choose simple, nourishing foods: Opt for fresh, simple foods that are easy to eat. Examples include avocado toast, bagels with various toppings, charcuterie cones, and tea sandwiches.
• Stay hydrated: Drink plenty of water throughout the day and consider adding cucumber and lemon slices to your water for a refreshing twist.
• Cater to different dietary needs: Offer a variety of food options to accommodate different dietary needs and preferences. Include vegetarian, vegan, and gluten-free choices.
• Provide late-night snacks: Keep your guests energised with late-night snacks like fast food buckets, portable french fries, mini grilled cheese sandwiches, or flavoured popcorn.

Lingerie and getting undressed

The wedding night is a time for celebration and revelry, and for many couples, it is also an opportunity to get intimate. Whether you are looking to seal the deal on your wedding night or simply want to feel glamorous and comfortable, choosing the right lingerie is essential.

For brides, the options are endless. From light-as-air lace to chic vintage sets and luxe loungewear, there is something to suit every taste and style. If you want to stick with tradition, go for cream or white lingerie, or even "something blue." But if you want to be more daring, bold colours like red or gold can make a statement. For a touch of glamour, consider a full-length Hollywood-style gown, or opt for a silk kimono that can be worn on your wedding day and throughout your honeymoon.

Grooms, too, can get in on the action by gifting their brides an heirloom piece. The "Seduce Me Gown," for example, is a flattering and seductive option that veils the skin in vintage tulle and exquisite lace.

When it comes to getting undressed, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, consider the cut of your wedding dress or suit. You may not have room for a full lingerie set underneath, so plan to change into something more comfortable or revealing later. Secondly, don't feel pressured to rip each other's clothes off in a passionate frenzy. Many couples find themselves too tired or drunk to get intimate on their wedding night, and that's completely normal!

Ultimately, the wedding night is about connecting with your partner and creating shared experiences. Whether you end up tearing off each other's clothes or falling asleep in a food coma, make sure you are both on the same page and flexible in your expectations.

Setting and location

The setting and location of your wedding night can vary depending on your preferences and the logistics of your wedding day. Some couples choose to stay in a hotel near their wedding venue, while others may opt for a more unique location such as a resort, a tent, or even their own home. If you're looking for a more luxurious experience, you can book a hotel suite or a honeymoon suite, which often offers additional amenities and services.

For those who want to create a romantic atmosphere, consider adding special touches to your room. This could include scattering petals on the bed that match your bridal flowers, dimming the lights, lighting scented candles, or playing soft music. You can even surprise your partner by arranging to have food and drinks, such as chocolate-covered strawberries or a bottle of champagne, waiting in the room.

If you're looking to add a touch of whimsy to your wedding night, consider filling the room with balloons, hanging a Just Married banner, or sprinkling confetti on the bed. For a cosy and intimate setting, opt for a fireplace if the room has one, or simply turn on the heat to create a warm and inviting ambiance.

Some couples may also choose to extend the celebration by hosting an after-party in their suite, inviting close friends and family to join them for drinks, karaoke, or simply enjoying each other's company.

Whether you're looking for a romantic, luxurious, or playful setting, planning the setting and location of your wedding night in advance can help ensure that you have the necessary amenities and create an atmosphere that reflects your style and preferences.

Frequently asked questions