Wedding Woes: When Someone Objects

If someone objects to a wedding, it is up to the officiant to decide how to proceed. The officiant may pause the ceremony and take the objector to another room to privately discuss their reason for the objection, or they may choose to ignore the objection and continue with the ceremony. In the latter case, the wedding guests usually deal with the objector and encourage them to leave. Objections during a wedding ceremony are rare and are typically made in jest. However, if a couple has concerns about a potential objection, they can inform the officiant in advance so they can be prepared to handle the situation. While it is uncommon, if someone does object during a wedding, it is usually done for legal reasons, such as one of the parties being underage or already married.

The officiant pauses the ceremony

The officiant has two widely agreed-upon options. The first is to take the objecting person to another room to privately give their reason for the objection. The second is to ignore the objection and continue with the ceremony as normal, allowing the wedding guests to deal with the objector and encourage them to leave.

If the officiant is aware of a potential objection beforehand, they can be prepared to break the ice and keep the ceremony going. For example, they could say, "If someone objects to this wedding, speak now or forever hold your peace—except for Aunt Trudie."

If the officiant decides to halt the ceremony to deal with the objection, they can pull the objector aside to discuss the reason without an audience. Unless it's a legal matter, the ceremony would likely continue as planned.

The officiant and couple talk privately with the objector

If someone objects to a wedding, the officiant will pause the ceremony and take the objector to another room. Here, the couple can talk to the objector in private and discuss their concerns. The couple can then restart the ceremony.

Wedding objections are for legal issues only, not emotional ones. No one can stop a wedding unless they have a valid legal reason for doing so. The officiant can then decide how to deal with the objection. They may halt the ceremony to privately discuss the objection with the objector, or they may continue with the ceremony, ignoring the objection.

If the objection is minor and doesn't have any legal standing, the officiant may keep the ceremony going without pausing. If the objector is unwilling to move on, the couple may have to ask them to leave.

The officiant could also make light of the situation and downplay it. They should check in with the couple to make sure they are okay and try not to draw attention to the disruption.

The officiant may make light of the objection

If you're worried about someone objecting to your wedding, rest assured that it is very uncommon for wedding guests to break this huge wedding etiquette rule. In fact, if it does happen, it's usually done in a joking manner, and the ceremony can continue as normal.

If you are concerned about a guest objecting, it's a good idea to let your officiant know so they aren't blindsided. They can then make light of the situation by saying something like, "If someone objects to this wedding, speak now or forever hold your peace—except for Aunt Trudie!" By acknowledging the possibility of an objection and excluding certain guests, the officiant can add a touch of humour to the situation and keep the ceremony light-hearted.

Of course, if an objection does occur, the officiant can simply note it and move on with the ceremony. Alternatively, they can pause the ceremony and give the objector an opportunity to speak privately with the couple. In most cases, the couple will then choose to continue with the wedding.

Remember, the purpose of an objection is to assess the legal eligibility of a union, not the emotional. So, unless there is a substantial legal reason for the objection, the ceremony can proceed with only a fleeting pause and an awkward moment.

The objector is asked to leave

If the objector is asked to leave, it is likely that the couple will need to take a moment to gather themselves. The interruption and objection, even if it holds no legal merit, can be extremely distressing for the couple and disruptive to the ceremony. The officiant may attempt to make light of the situation, or make a brief apology for the interruption, but the couple may still need a moment to process what has happened.

The officiant will then continue with the ceremony. It is important that the officiant does not reveal any details of the objection or the conversation that took place during the interruption. The officiant should seamlessly continue with the service, and the couple can try to compose themselves and focus on the rest of the ceremony.

The couple may also want to consider discussing any potential objectors with the officiant before the ceremony. This can help the officiant to handle the situation and know how to proceed if an objection occurs.

If the objection is particularly upsetting, the couple may want to postpone the wedding. However, this is giving the objector what they want, and it is a rare occurrence for weddings to be interrupted in this way.

If the objector has a legitimate legal reason for the objection, the couple may need to pause or postpone the ceremony to investigate further.

The officiant acknowledges the objection and proceeds with the ceremony

The officiant will pause the ceremony and decide how to handle the rest of the proceedings. If the objection is minor and holds no legal merit, the officiant may continue with the ceremony without pausing.

The officiant could make light of the situation with a joke to ease the tension and then proceed with the ceremony. Alternatively, they could briefly apologise for the interruption and thank everyone for their continued support.

If the couple has concerns about a potential objection, they can inform the officiant ahead of time so that they are not blindsided during the ceremony. The officiant can then break the ice and keep the ceremony going. For example, they could say, "If someone objects to this wedding, speak now or forever hold your peace—except for Aunt Trudie."

If the objection is unexpected, the officiant can simply note it and move on with the ceremony. The couple may wish to halt the ceremony to deal with the objection in private, but this depends on their preference.

The officiant should make sure the couple is okay and try not to draw attention to the objection. They should assume that others in attendance will intervene and remove the cause of the disruption.

Frequently asked questions