Planning A Wedding: A Groom's Guide To Success

Planning a wedding can be a daunting task, and while some grooms choose to leave the planning to their brides, others take on a more active role. Traditionally, men have not been expected to be involved in wedding planning, but this is changing as couples marry later in life and pay for their weddings independently. Men who plan their weddings may do so to decrease the chances of their partners becoming overwhelmed and stressed. Planning a wedding involves a lot of decision-making, from the guest list and venue to the menu and entertainment. It can be helpful to start by considering the vision for the wedding, such as whether it will be formal or casual, large or small, and whether it will have a specific theme. Grooms can also take on tasks such as choosing the best man and groomsmen, planning the honeymoon, and creating a wedding website.

Budgeting and financing

Determining Your Budget:

Firstly, you and your partner should have an open and honest conversation about your financial situation. Discuss your savings, monthly financial commitments, and how much you can realistically save for the wedding. Be transparent about what you can afford to prevent overspending and accruing unnecessary debt.

Understanding Wedding Costs:

Weddings can be incredibly expensive, with the average cost reaching $33,000, according to The Knot's 2025 Real Weddings Study. This amount can vary based on factors such as location, the number of guests, the type of food, and your personal preferences. It's essential to research and understand the general cost of each element, from the venue to the decorations, to create a comprehensive budget.

Creating a Wedding Budget Breakdown:

Start by listing all the expenses you anticipate, including the venue, catering, entertainment, attire, photography, and any other unique elements you desire. You can use online resources and wedding budget calculators to help estimate these expenses. Then, allocate a specific percentage or amount to each category. This will allow you to stay organized and ensure that you don't overspend in any one area.

Saving for the Wedding:

Once you have an estimated total, create a timeline for your savings. If your wedding is further away, you can allocate smaller amounts to your savings each month. However, if your wedding is fast approaching, you may need to save more aggressively or reconsider your budget or timeline.

Payment Methods and Contributions:

Discuss with your partner how you plan to pay for the wedding. Will you be using your savings, taking out a loan, or a combination of both? It's important to be cautious about taking on debt, so consider your financial situation carefully before opting for a loan. Traditionally, the bride's family has contributed significantly to wedding costs, but today, couples often cover a large portion themselves. You may also want to discuss financial contributions with both families and decide on a fair distribution of expenses.

Tracking Expenses:

Throughout the planning process, it's crucial to track your spending to ensure you don't exceed your budget. Use budgeting tools, spreadsheets, or dedicated wedding budget apps to monitor your expenses. Regularly check in with your partner and anyone else contributing financially to ensure everyone is on the same page and adjust your budget as needed.

Remember, budgeting for a wedding can be challenging, but it's important to keep your long-term financial goals in mind. Start planning early, be realistic about costs, and don't be afraid to adjust your expectations if needed. By following these steps, you can create a wedding budget that aligns with your vision and financial circumstances.

Selecting a date

Be Strategic with Timing

If you're looking to save money on your wedding, consider choosing a date in the off-season when prices tend to be lower and venue and vendor availability is higher. The low season for weddings is typically during the winter months, but December and February are busier due to the holidays. January, March, April, and November are good months to consider for potential savings. Weekday weddings, particularly Mondays and Wednesdays, can also be more affordable and offer greater availability than traditional weekend weddings.

Consider Sentimental Dates

Make your anniversary extra special by choosing a date that holds sentimental value for you and your partner. This could be your partner's birthday, the day you met or had your first date, your parents' or grandparents' anniversary, or another meaningful date. This approach ensures that your wedding date will forever hold a special place in your heart.

Avoid Competing Events

When selecting a date, be mindful of major holidays, sporting events, or other local events that may conflict with your wedding. You want to avoid situations where your guests have to choose between your celebration and other commitments. Additionally, consider checking with close friends and family members to ensure that your chosen date does not overlap with other weddings or important occasions in their lives.

Choose a Season

Consider the type of weather and ambiance you prefer for your wedding. If you want a particular type of flower to be in bloom and affordable, opt for a season that aligns with that. Spring and fall are generally the most popular seasons for weddings, but this can vary depending on your location. For example, summer weddings in Arizona are less popular than winter and spring weddings.

Be Flexible

Flexibility is key when choosing a date. If you have a specific venue or date in mind, be prepared to book well in advance, as popular venues and dates can get booked up quickly, sometimes 12 to 24 months in advance. However, if your desired date is non-negotiable, you may need to be flexible with your venue choice or consider choosing a less competitive season.

Choosing the menu

The groom can take the lead on this one, with input from the bride, of course. The first step is to decide on the style of the menu. Will it be simple finger foods or a formal affair? The venue will impact this decision, as will the couple's budget. It's essential to ask the venue about bringing your own liquor and using an external caterer.

Once the style is decided, the couple can start thinking about specific dishes. It's a good idea to involve the caterer at this stage, as they can help ensure the menu is balanced, well-rounded, and cost-effective. The couple should also consider any dietary restrictions their guests may have. A seated menu can be more time-effective and formal, but it requires more organisation, especially if guests are offered a choice of meals.

The latest trend in wedding menus is "small plates". Guests enjoy the unique flavours and cute presentation of their individual petite dishes. These can be served in various vessels, from mini cast-iron skillets to shot glasses, adding a fun and clever twist to the dining experience.

The couple should also remember to have a tasting before the big day. While the food may be excellent, what the couple tastes during the tasting may not be exactly the same as what is served on the wedding day when catering for 150 guests. So, find a caterer who loves what they do, and the couple will be sure to receive excellent service throughout the planning process and on their wedding day.

Finalising music

Finalising the music for your wedding is a fun but important task. Music is an essential part of any wedding and can make or break the party mood. It's a chance to express yourself and your partner's tastes and styles, and to tell your love story.

Pre-Ceremony Music

This is the soft, romantic music that plays as your guests arrive and take their seats. It can be classical pieces or instrumental love ballads, for example, and helps to build excitement and set the tone for the entire event.

Processional Music

This is the music that plays as the wedding party walks down the aisle. You could choose a classic like Pachelbel's Canon or something more modern. You can also switch it up and have different songs for the bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls, and ring-bearers.

Recessional Music

After the vows and the kiss, play a recessional song as you and the wedding party exit.

Special Moments

You may want to choose specific music for other special moments, such as religious readings, unity ceremonies, or the bouquet and garter toss. For religious ceremonies, you could choose your favourite hymns.

Cocktail Hour

The music during cocktail hour can set the mood for the reception. It doesn't have to be anything specific, but it should be something your guests can sip drinks and chat to. You could continue the soundtrack from the pre-ceremony or cocktail hour, or switch it up with a hand-picked playlist.

Dinner Music

As your guests take their seats for dinner, you can continue with the cocktail hour music or switch to something else.

First Dance

The first dance is a critical moment and an opportunity to express yourself and your partner's style. Choose a song that is meaningful to you both.

Last Dance

The last dance signals to your guests that the festivities are ending. It doesn't need to be an emotional song, but something slow to wind things down.

Final Thoughts

You don't need to choose every song that plays, especially during the reception. A professional wedding musician or DJ will be able to help you finalise the perfect playlist and ensure your event is vibrant and energetic. They will be familiar with the complete list of wedding songs and can guide you. You can give them a "must-play" and a "do-not-play" list to ensure your expectations are met.

Planning the honeymoon

Planning a wedding can be a stressful experience, but planning the honeymoon is a lot easier. Here are some tips to help you plan the perfect honeymoon:

Timing is key

It is advisable to start planning the honeymoon 8-12 months in advance. This offers the most options and flexibility, and can also help alleviate pressure as the wedding approaches. It also allows for thoughtful selection of locations and ample opportunity to research travel and accommodation options. Booking early can also help you secure the best deals, and save money.

Budgeting

The average cost of a honeymoon is $5,100, so it is important to plan and budget in advance. Discuss with your partner how much you want to save each month to reach your goal amount. You could also consider setting up a honeymoon fund, as many couples do, to help cover the costs.

Do you want a relaxing honeymoon, or an action-packed adventure? Discuss the pace that makes the most sense for both of you. Do you want to spend your days lounging on a beach, or would you rather be exploring a new city or hiking up mountains?

The details

Once you have decided on the type of honeymoon and your budget, it's time to start planning the details. Research and book your travel and accommodation, and any activities that require advance booking, such as tours or restaurant reservations. Consider taking out travel insurance, especially if there are any health or safety concerns.

Gifts

If there is anything you need for your honeymoon, such as a camera or nice luggage, consider adding these to your wedding registry or honeymoon fund.

Remember, the honeymoon is about you and your partner, so make sure you plan something that you will both enjoy.

Frequently asked questions