Big Wedding, Big Fun: Navigating Guest List Limits And Restrictions

The definition of a big wedding varies depending on cultural and regional factors. In the UK, a large wedding is considered to be one with more than 150 guests, while in the US, this number is lowered to 100. The COVID-19 pandemic has also impacted the size of weddings, with many couples opting to reduce their guest lists or hold minimonies to adhere to social distancing measures and prevent the spread of the virus.

Big weddings during the COVID-19 pandemic

The COVID-19 pandemic has significantly impacted the wedding industry, with restrictions on large gatherings forcing many couples to cancel or postpone their big days. While the rules and regulations vary across different countries and regions, large weddings have generally been banned or limited due to the risk of spreading the virus.

In the United Kingdom, for example, large weddings were banned, and only small ceremonies with limited attendees were allowed, depending on the specific rules in England, Scotland, Wales, or Northern Ireland. An expert even warned that massive events, such as festivals and big weddings, might not happen for "years" due to the ongoing pandemic.

Similarly, in the United States, the average number of wedding guests decreased during the pandemic. In 2020, the average guest count was 66, and while there was a slight increase to 105 in 2021, it was still significantly lower than pre-pandemic levels. However, by 2023, the average wedding size had increased to 115 guests, indicating a move towards larger celebrations.

During the pandemic, couples had to make difficult decisions about their weddings. Some chose to elope or have micro weddings with a limited number of guests, while others opted for minimonies, which are small ceremonies followed by a larger reception at a later date. The pandemic also affected budgets, with some couples having to reduce their guest lists to accommodate inflation and economic strains.

As the world continues to navigate the challenges posed by the COVID-19 pandemic, the wedding industry is slowly adapting. While large weddings might not be possible everywhere, couples are finding creative ways to celebrate their love while adhering to safety protocols. The impact of the pandemic has also led to a shift in perspectives, with many people realizing that large weddings are not the only way to have a meaningful and memorable celebration.

The cost of big weddings

The cost of a wedding can vary depending on several factors, including the size and location of the venue, the number of guests, food, entertainment, and other personal preferences. According to The Knot, the national average cost of a wedding in 2023 was $35,000, a $5,000 increase from the previous year, mainly due to inflation. This figure does not include the engagement ring, which costs an average of $5,500.

The biggest chunk of the wedding budget typically goes towards the venue, with couples spending about 37% of their overall budget on the wedding venue. Catering is another significant expense, taking up about 29% of the average wedding budget, or $4,075 for a wedding of 66 guests. The cost of a wedding venue can vary greatly depending on the location, with some states in the US having average costs below $25,000, while others are above $30,000.

Other expenses that contribute to the overall cost of a wedding include musical entertainment, photography, videography, flowers and decorations, wedding attire, event rentals, lighting and decor, transportation, wedding cake, invitations, wedding insurance, and gratuities for vendors.

To manage the cost of a big wedding, it is essential to set a realistic budget, prioritize expenses, and be flexible with choices. Couples can also consider having a smaller guest list, choosing a less expensive venue, or opting for a domestic or international destination wedding, which tend to be slightly more affordable than hometown weddings.

Cultural expectations of big weddings

Planning a wedding is an exciting time, but it can also be stressful, especially when cultural expectations and family pressures are involved. The good news is that more and more couples are opting to include specific cultural traditions in their weddings, personalising them to suit their own tastes and desires. Here are some insights into cultural expectations of big weddings and how couples are navigating them.

Traditions and Customs

Wedding customs vary across different cultures and countries, and often include a mix of religious and secular rituals. In some cultures, weddings are not just a union of two people, but also of two families, and this is reflected in the traditions and ceremonies. For example, in some Latin American and Hispanic cultures, there is a tradition of "el laso", where a lasso is wrapped around the couple in a figure eight by their families to symbolise their unity. In other cultures, like in Ethiopia, the wedding day starts with the groom and his wedding party arriving at the bride's parents' house, where her family and friends ceremonially block the entrance and the groomsmen have to serenade or bribe their way in.

Food and Dance

Food and dance are also important cultural elements at weddings. For instance, Italian weddings tend to focus on lamb, beef, guinea fowl, fish, and beef, with Italian cookies, tiramisu, wedding cake, or gelato for dessert. Greek weddings often include dishes like lamb or beef stew with orzo, tiropita (a cheese pastry), and baklava. Dances are also a common feature, like the Tarantella Dance in Italian weddings, where guests link arms or hold hands and dance in a circle around the newlyweds. In Jewish weddings, there is the Hora Dance, where the newlyweds are lifted in chairs while guests dance in circles around them.

Clothing and Attire

Clothing and attire are another way that couples can incorporate their culture into their weddings. Traditional attire is common in many cultures, like the Qun Kwa and Qi Pao in Chinese weddings, the áo dài in Vietnamese weddings, and the Hanbok in Korean weddings. In Scottish weddings, it is customary for the groom and groomsmen to wear kilts, infusing a bit of Scottish heritage into the celebration.

Multiple Traditions

When couples come from different cultural backgrounds, they may choose to incorporate traditions from both cultures. This is known as a multicultural wedding, and it allows couples to celebrate and honour their unique heritages. For example, a couple with one Scottish partner and one Chinese partner might include both the kilt and the Qun Kwa in their wedding attire. They might also opt for multiple outfit changes throughout the day, transitioning from traditional attire to Western attire for the reception.

Personalisation

Ultimately, the decision of which traditions to include or skip rests with the couple. While family members may have expectations, it is important to remember that a wedding is about the couple getting married and they should feel free to personalise their wedding to reflect their own values and cultural backgrounds. This might mean skipping certain traditions that feel dated or not resonant, or finding creative ways to blend multiple cultures, like having a Western-style wedding cake with cultural flavours or using cultural fabrics and motifs in the wedding decor.

Communication

Communicating with family members and key stakeholders early on in the planning process is crucial. This allows for a discussion of expectations and can help to find compromises that honour everyone's culture and heritage. It is also an opportunity to educate family members about the couple's chosen traditions, especially if they are unfamiliar with them.

Big weddings and family expectations

Planning a wedding can be a stressful experience, especially when it comes to managing family expectations. The idea of a "big wedding" can vary depending on cultural traditions and personal preferences, but it typically refers to a celebration with a large number of guests, often exceeding 100 people.

Defining a "Big Wedding"

What constitutes a big wedding can differ from person to person and culture to culture. In the UK, a large wedding typically involves more than 150 guests, while in the US, the threshold is slightly lower, with weddings over 100 people considered big. However, it's important to note that these numbers are not set in stone and can vary based on individual perspectives and cultural norms.

Family Expectations

When it comes to big weddings, family expectations can play a significant role. In some families, there may be a tradition of hosting grand celebrations with extended family and numerous friends, while others may prefer more intimate gatherings. It's essential to consider the dynamics within your family and communicate your vision for the wedding clearly.

Managing Expectations

If you're facing pressure from family members who expect a large wedding, it's crucial to assert your wishes and priorities. Here are some strategies to manage expectations:

• Communicate openly: Have honest conversations with your family about your vision for the wedding. Explain your reasons for wanting a smaller or larger celebration, and emphasize the importance of their support and understanding.
• Compromise where possible: Consider areas where you can find a middle ground. For example, you might opt for a smaller guest list but include extended family in other wedding-related events, such as the bridal shower or a post-wedding brunch.
• Set clear boundaries: Establish boundaries and stick to them. If you've decided on a specific guest count, communicate this clearly and respectfully. It's your wedding, and while input from family members can be valuable, the final decision rests with you and your partner.
• Offer alternatives: Explore alternative ways for extended family members to be involved. For instance, you could suggest a live stream of the ceremony for those who can't attend in person or create a wedding website that includes photos and updates for everyone to access.

Impact of COVID-19

It's worth noting that the COVID-19 pandemic has significantly impacted the wedding industry, with many couples opting to postpone or downsize their celebrations to adhere to health and safety guidelines. As a result, some families may have had to adjust their expectations regarding the size and scope of weddings during this time.

In conclusion, navigating family expectations around big weddings can be challenging. By defining what a "big wedding" means to you, communicating openly, and finding creative compromises, you can work towards a celebration that aligns with your vision and respects the sentiments of your loved ones.

Legal limits on wedding sizes

The COVID-19 pandemic has drastically changed the rules on large gatherings, and many couples have had to cancel their wedding plans. While it is unclear when lockdown rules will be eased enough to allow big weddings, large weddings are currently banned in the UK.

In England, wedding and civil partnership ceremonies can only take place in exceptional circumstances, with a maximum of six attendees. In Scotland, ceremonies can be held with up to five people, including the couple, witnesses, and the officiant, provided that social distancing measures are in place. In Wales, wedding ceremonies can only take place in approved venues, and the maximum number of attendees is determined by the venue's capacity. Northern Ireland permits up to 25 attendees, but events with more than 15 people require a risk assessment, and face masks are mandatory for guests.

In the US, the average wedding size in 2023 was 115 guests, with 57% of couples inviting 101 or more guests. However, due to the impact of the economy and inflation, some couples have opted to reduce their guest lists to accommodate financial constraints.

While the definition of a large wedding varies between cultures and regions, weddings with over 100 guests are generally considered big. Micro weddings, on the other hand, involve fewer than 20 guests, while small weddings typically range from 30 to 60 guests. Medium-sized weddings accommodate around 60 to 150 guests, and a large wedding in the UK is considered to have more than 150 attendees.

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