I Object!" — Understanding The Rare Wedding Objection And Its Legal Implication

The phrase I object during a wedding ceremony is an opportunity for someone to voice opposition to the marriage. This tradition dates back to medieval times in the 12th century when the Catholic Church introduced it as a way to ensure the legality of a union before finalising the marriage. At that time, information about a couple's eligibility to wed was often based on word-of-mouth and individual knowledge. Objections could be raised due to reasons such as one party already being married, pre-existing vows of celibacy, underage marriage without consent, or close blood relations. Today, while the tradition is fading, it still serves as a way to address any legal impediments to the marriage, such as if one party is already married or if there is coercion involved.

The history of wedding objections

The tradition of voicing objections during a wedding ceremony, often prompted by the officiant's cue of "if anyone objects to this marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace", has its roots in the 12th century. It was introduced by the Catholic Church as a means of ensuring the legality of a union before finalising the marriage. During this time, people relied on word-of-mouth and personal knowledge to determine if a couple was eligible to wed.

Grounds for objection included factors such as one party already being married, pre-existing vows of celibacy or commitment to the church, underage marriage without parental consent, or close blood relations. The proposed marriage was publicly announced ahead of time, giving the community time to come forward with any relevant information. This practice became even more important once laws were enacted that transferred wealth and land ownership immediately after a wedding.

The tradition of wedding objections was further institutionalised by the Anglican Church in 1549, with the addition of the phrase "should anyone present know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace" to the marriage liturgy section of the "Book of Common Prayer". Other branches of Christianity, such as Eastern Orthodox Christianity, soon followed suit. This created a system of self-policing, allowing anyone from laypeople to lawyers to stop a wedding mid-ceremony and ensure due diligence had been carried out by the authorities.

However, despite its practical origins, the tradition of wedding objections has increasingly become fodder for rom-com plotlines rather than an actual occurrence. In modern times, easily accessible legal records and the requirement for a marriage license have largely rendered this custom obsolete.

What happens if someone objects at a wedding?

The phrase "I object" in a wedding is a verbal expression of opposition to the marriage, with the intention of stopping it. The tradition of voicing objections during weddings was introduced by the Catholic Church in the 12th century as a way of ensuring the legality of a union before it was made official. At that time, people relied on word of mouth and individual knowledge to determine whether a couple was eligible to wed. Grounds for objection included one party being underage without parental consent, or close blood relations.

Today, the tradition is fading, as most legalities of the marriage are established when applying for a marriage license before the wedding day. An objection today would likely be an impassioned emotional plea, rather than a pragmatic intervention. And while a dramatic declaration of love for the bride or groom makes for a great plot twist in movies, it can't actually stop the wedding unless there is a legal reason why the couple cannot marry.

If someone objects during a wedding ceremony, the ceremony will be paused. If the objection is emotional, the officiant will acknowledge the objection, realise it carries no legal substance, and proceed with the wedding. If the objection is based on a legal reason, the ceremony will be halted while the registrar, bride, and groom clarify the details of the objection. If the objection is found to be legitimate, the ceremony cannot legally continue.

Do you have to ask for objections in your wedding ceremony?

Asking for objections during a wedding ceremony is a long-standing tradition that is not mandatory. The tradition of voicing objections to a marriage during the ceremony was introduced by the Catholic Church in the 12th century to ensure the legality of a union before finalising the marriage. At the time, people relied on word of mouth and personal knowledge to determine whether a couple was eligible to wed. Grounds for objection included factors like a party already being married to another person, pre-existing vows of celibacy or commitment to the church, being underage without parental consent, or close blood relations.

Nowadays, this tradition is becoming less common and is often omitted from wedding ceremonies. If you are having a religious ceremony and are members of an Anglican or Episcopal church, there is a chance your marriage ceremony will include this tradition. Your ability to edit the ceremony script will depend on your congregation, how conservative it is, and how flexible your officiant is. If you are uncomfortable with including this part of the script, you can ask your officiant to edit it, or find another officiant or church.

If you are not having a religious ceremony, you can absolutely skip this line. You can also put a secular spin on this sentiment by asking your guests to support your marriage. Including your loved ones in your vows builds a community of support around your marriage and is a touching way to include your guests in a special moment.

Can you stop someone from objecting at your wedding?

The tradition of allowing guests to object to a wedding stems from the Catholic Church during the 12th century. It was a way to ensure the legality of a union before making it official. At that time, there was no easy way to research people and extract information, so the community was relied upon to bring any critical information about the couple to light.

Today, the tradition is fading, and the only oppositions that remain are those of an emotional nature, which are ineffective at disputing a marriage's legal eligibility. However, if someone does object, the officiant will pause the ceremony so the couple can chat with the objector in private. If the person who objects is not willing to move on, the couple may have to ask them to leave.

While there is no way to predict a guest's impulsive response, there are precautions that can be taken to deter an awkward situation from arising. If you sense someone may have qualms with your impending union, it's best to have a private discussion with them. You can air out any concerns and continue with the events as planned, or decide it's best to delicately rescind their invitation.

If you know someone may object, you can also dissuade them by talking to them before the wedding. You can ask them to keep their objections to themselves or discuss their concerns in private.

What if you want to object at a wedding?

The act of objecting at a wedding is a dramatic plot point in many romantic comedies, but it can also happen in real life. If you want to object at a wedding, it's important to understand the potential consequences and the best way to handle the situation. Here are some things to consider if you're thinking of objecting at a wedding:

Understand the Purpose of Wedding Objections

The tradition of objecting at a wedding dates back to medieval times and was initially introduced by the Catholic Church in the 12th century. The purpose was to ensure the legality of a union before it was officially recognised. At that time, information about a couple's eligibility to wed was spread through word of mouth, and objections could be raised based on factors like existing marriages, vows of celibacy, underage partners without parental consent, or close blood relations.

Know the Legal Grounds for Objecting

Today, most legal issues are addressed when a couple applies for a marriage license, so there are very few valid reasons to object to a wedding. The only way to stop a wedding is if you have a legal reason that holds substantial merit. Some examples of legal grounds for objection include:

• One or both parties are still legally married to someone else.
• The marriage involves close relatives, which is banned in most states.
• There are concerns about domestic violence or the safety of one of the parties.

Discuss Your Concerns Privately

If you have serious concerns about an impending marriage, it's best to discuss them privately with the couple or the person closest to you. Express your objections in a calm and respectful manner, and be prepared to listen to their perspective. Remember, the decision to marry is ultimately theirs, and you should trust them to make their own choices.

Consider the Impact of Objecting

Objecting during a wedding ceremony can cause significant embarrassment, hurt, and anger for the couple and their families. It can also lead to an awkward and uncomfortable situation for everyone present. If you do decide to object, be prepared for the possibility that the couple may want to take a break or even cancel the ceremony.

Weigh Your Relationship with the Couple

Before deciding to object, contemplate your motivations and the nature of your relationship with the couple. Are your objections coming from a selfish standpoint, or do you have valid concerns that are widely shared by others? If your objections are based on personal vendettas or emotional reasons, it may be best to keep them to yourself or discuss them with a therapist.

In conclusion, objecting at a wedding is a significant step that can have lasting consequences. If you find yourself in this situation, carefully consider your reasons, the potential impact on the couple and their guests, and whether there are any valid legal grounds for your objection. Handling the situation with sensitivity and respect is crucial to minimise harm and maintain healthy relationships.

Frequently asked questions