Wedding Ceremony Guest Options: Standing Or Seated?

There is a divide between those who believe it is poor hospitality to have guests stand during a wedding ceremony and those who think it is a new and cool idea. Wedding planner Fallon Carter says that standing weddings in public places became popular during the pandemic, while etiquette expert Elaine Swann believes that guest comfort is the most important thing, and that asking guests to stand is just poor etiquette. If you do decide to have a standing ceremony, it is best to keep it short, with a small guest list, and ensure that elderly guests or guests with physical limitations have the option to sit.

Standing ceremonies are considered poor etiquette by some, who believe it is uncomfortable for guests

Standing wedding ceremonies are considered poor etiquette by some, who believe that making guests stand is uncomfortable and inconsiderate. This view is supported by etiquette expert Elaine Swann, who believes that guest comfort should be a top priority for hosts.

Those against standing ceremonies argue that guests may have to stand for longer than the duration of the ceremony itself, as weddings rarely start on time. Standing for an extended period can be difficult for guests with physical ailments or those wearing uncomfortable shoes. It can also be challenging for shorter guests to see what is happening during the ceremony.

Additionally, some believe that not providing seating for guests is akin to treating them poorly. They suggest that standing ceremonies may lead to awkward photos, with guests appearing to be "standing around waiting for the bus".

However, others argue that standing ceremonies can be intimate and unique, creating a community-style vibe and a powerful experience for guests. Wedding planner Fallon Carter shares that standing weddings in public spaces became popular during the pandemic and have since been embraced as a creative interpretation of tradition.

To accommodate different preferences and needs, some couples choose to provide a mix of seating and standing areas or offer seats only to elderly guests or those with physical limitations. Ultimately, the decision to have a standing ceremony may depend on factors such as guest count, venue size and layout, and cultural or religious traditions.

Standing weddings became popular during the pandemic, especially in parks and on beaches

The COVID-19 pandemic has had a significant impact on the wedding industry, with many couples opting for smaller, more intimate celebrations. This shift towards micro-weddings, or weddings with a smaller guest count, has led to a rise in popularity for standing weddings, particularly in outdoor settings such as parks and beaches.

Standing weddings in these natural settings became a popular choice during the pandemic, as they allowed couples to exchange vows in a safe and socially distanced manner. Wedding planner Fallon Carter of Fallon Carter Events notes that this trend emerged out of necessity rather than as a stylistic choice. By forgoing chairs and other man-made structures, couples could minimise the risk of virus transmission while still celebrating their special day.

One advantage of standing weddings is the sense of intimacy and community they create. With guests standing in a circle around the couple, there is a feeling of unity and shared purpose. This non-traditional approach to seating can foster a more alert and engaged atmosphere, enhancing the overall experience for those in attendance.

However, the idea of standing ceremonies is not without controversy. Etiquette expert Elaine Swann, for instance, believes that asking guests to stand for an extended period is unacceptable and demonstrates poor hospitality. She argues that the comfort of guests should be a top priority for hosts, and standing for long durations may be uncomfortable or inaccessible for some.

To accommodate different preferences and abilities, wedding planners suggest providing a mix of seating and standing options. This can be achieved by offering chairs for elderly guests or those with physical limitations, while still allowing other guests to stand, particularly if they are comfortable doing so.

Another consideration for standing weddings is the length of the ceremony. Wedding planners recommend keeping the ceremony short and sweet, ideally around ten minutes or less. This helps ensure that guests are not standing for prolonged periods, which can be tiring.

Standing weddings in parks and on beaches also require careful planning to comply with local regulations. For example, in Oregon, weddings on ocean shores required special permits, which were temporarily suspended during the pandemic due to safety concerns and limited staffing. Couples planning beach weddings in Oregon needed to keep their ceremonies small and short, with fewer than 50 attendees, to forgo chairs, and to allow public access to the area.

In summary, standing weddings, particularly in outdoor settings, became a popular choice during the pandemic due to their practicality, intimacy, and compliance with health and safety guidelines. While this trend may not appeal to everyone, it has offered couples a unique and creative way to celebrate their love while adapting to the challenges posed by COVID-19.

Standing is seen as a show of respect, especially when the bride enters

While some people believe that standing is a show of respect, especially when the bride enters, others disagree. In fact, etiquette expert Elaine Swann believes that asking guests to stand is poor etiquette, prioritising guest comfort and arguing that hosts should create a welcoming and comfortable environment.

However, standing can create a sense of community and intimacy, with guests feeling more alert and connected to the couple and their love story. This is particularly true for small weddings in intimate settings, where guests can gather around the couple without disrupting the natural landscape.

If you do opt for a standing ceremony, it's important to consider the needs of your guests. Provide chairs for those who need them, including older guests or those with physical limitations. Keep the ceremony short, ideally around ten minutes, and let your guests know in advance that they'll be standing so they can dress and plan their shoe choices accordingly.

Ultimately, the decision to have guests stand or sit during your wedding ceremony is a personal one. If you feel that standing is a meaningful way to show respect as the bride enters, go for it! Just be mindful of your guests' comfort and needs, and perhaps save the standing for key moments like the bride's entrance or prayers.

If you do opt for a standing ceremony, ensure guests are informed in advance

If you do opt for a standing ceremony, it is important to ensure your guests are informed in advance. This is a departure from traditional wedding etiquette, and some guests may be uncomfortable standing for a prolonged period, especially if they have physical limitations or are wearing uncomfortable shoes.

Firstly, consider your guest list carefully and be mindful that elderly guests or those with physical limitations may not be able to stand for the duration of the ceremony. It is a good idea to provide seating for anyone who may need it and to have some extra chairs on hand. You could also consider providing light bites and water before the ceremony, as standing for a long time can be tiring, especially if the weather is hot.

Secondly, keep your guest count intimate. A standing ceremony is best suited for a small guest list of 75 or fewer people. With a large crowd, those at the back will not be able to see, and it will be difficult to manage.

Thirdly, keep the ceremony short. A standing ceremony should ideally last no longer than 10 minutes. If your ceremony is longer, provide seating options for your guests.

Finally, communicate with your guests in advance. Let them know they will be standing so they can dress appropriately and plan their shoe choices. You can include this information on your wedding website or spread it by word of mouth. This will allow guests to make informed decisions about their footwear and ensure they are comfortable during the ceremony.

By informing your guests in advance and providing any necessary accommodations, you can ensure that your standing ceremony is a comfortable and enjoyable experience for all.

Provide chairs for those who need them, and consider offering refreshments and comfortable footwear

Providing chairs for your guests is an important consideration when planning a wedding ceremony. While some couples opt for standing ceremonies, it's crucial to ensure that elderly guests or those with physical limitations have access to seating. It's also a good idea to have extra chairs on hand in case any guest needs to sit.

If you're planning a standing ceremony, here are some tips to ensure your guests' comfort:

• Communicate with your guests ahead of time so they can dress accordingly.
• Offer foldable shoes or flip-flops for guests wearing uncomfortable shoes.
• Provide light bites and water before the ceremony to keep your guests energised.
• Keep the ceremony short, around ten minutes, to avoid prolonged standing.
• Utilise natural settings, such as rocks and hills, or create tiered standing areas so that guests have a clear view.

Now, let's move on to discussing comfortable footwear and refreshments for your guests:

Comfortable Footwear

To ensure your guests are comfortable throughout the ceremony and reception, especially if they are standing, it's a thoughtful idea to suggest comfortable footwear options. Here are some tips for choosing the right shoes:

• Recommend flat shoes or low heels to avoid discomfort and blisters.
• Suggest breathable materials to keep feet cool and comfortable.
• Provide information about the venue and terrain to help guests select appropriate footwear. For example, if it's an outdoor wedding, suggest shoes with a wider heel to prevent sinking into the ground.
• Offer a selection of comfortable shoe options on your wedding website or include this information with the invitations. This can include stylish ballet flats, kitten heels, or even trendy sneakers.

Refreshments

Offering refreshments to your guests, especially during an outdoor ceremony, is a thoughtful way to ensure their comfort. Here are some ideas for providing refreshments:

• Set up a refreshment station with water and light snacks, such as fruit or small sandwiches, before the ceremony.
• For a summer wedding, provide parasols or fans to keep guests cool.
• If it's an outdoor wedding, consider providing bottles of water at each seat to keep guests hydrated.
• For a winter wedding, offer warm drinks like hot chocolate or mulled wine to keep guests warm.
• Work with your caterer to provide a variety of refreshing non-alcoholic and alcoholic beverage options during the reception.

By considering the comfort of your guests with regards to seating, footwear, and refreshments, you can ensure that everyone has an enjoyable experience and can focus on celebrating your special day.

Frequently asked questions