Best Man's Dance: Optional Or Mandatory?

The best man is the groom's right-hand man and is usually a close friend or relative. The role comes with a variety of duties, including planning the bachelor party, helping the groom and groomsmen choose their wedding attire, and giving a speech. But does the best man have to dance?

Well, it depends. While there is no explicit rule that the best man must dance, it is customary for the best man to dance with the maid of honor during the first song after the bride and groom's first dance. This is often done to kick off the party and get everyone on the dance floor. The best man may also be expected to dance with the bride, the mother of the bride, and the mother of the groom during the reception. Ultimately, the best man should be ready to dance and adapt to the unique traditions and expectations of the wedding.

Best man's dance with the maid of honour

Dancing with the maid of honour is a traditional part of the best man's role at a wedding. While it is not compulsory, it is a good way to get the party started and encourage everyone to join the happy couple on the dance floor.

The best man and maid of honour traditionally pair up and exit the ceremony side by side, and this is often followed by a dance. This is usually after the first dance, but it depends on the couple's preferences. It is a good idea for the best man to meet the maid of honour before the wedding day to avoid any potential awkwardness.

The best man's dance with the maid of honour is sometimes called the "Dollar Dance" or "Money Dance". During this dance, guests line up to dance briefly with the newlyweds and give them money, which is usually spent on the honeymoon.

The best man's role is to be the groom's right-hand man and support him throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day. This includes helping the groom get ready, delivering a letter to his future spouse, and making sure the groom eats and drinks. The best man is also often in charge of the groomsmen, leading all communication and activities.

Other duties include planning the bachelor party, helping to choose the wedding attire, and giving a speech. The best man is also often entrusted with holding the wedding rings and other important items, such as the groom's phone and wallet.

Best man's duties before the wedding

The best man has a lot of responsibilities before the wedding, including:

• Planning the bachelor party: The best man is typically in charge of organising the bachelor party, consulting with the groom to host an event that aligns with his wishes.
• Helping choose the suits: The best man assists the groom in rounding up the ushers and other important members of the wedding party to try on wedding suits. They also discuss ideas with the couple about style and whether the suits will be bought or hired.
• Arranging to meet the ushers: The best man needs to be aware of who the ushers and other groomsmen are, and what their duties are. They can invite the couple and wedding party to meet the ushers and bond ahead of the wedding planning and bachelor party planning.
• Liaising with the maid of honour: The best man might chat with the maid of honour to see what useful things they can have on hand during the wedding, such as large umbrellas or gifts for the couple.
• Helping with planning admin: The best man can offer to help with organising logistical details like booking vendors, managing RSVPs, or coordinating schedules.
• Providing emotional support: The best man is there to listen to the groom's complaints, confessions, and questions without judgment, and to reassure their friend that everything will be okay.
• Being present for the rehearsal: The best man is usually present during the wedding rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, and may even make a small toast during the dinner to kick off the festivities.
• Organising a groomsmen's gift to the groom: The best man may present the groom with a sentimental gift from his groomsmen on the wedding morning.
• Organising final fittings: In the lead-up to the wedding, the best man can keep an eye out for any last-minute suit fittings the groom or groomsmen might need.
• Checking in with the groom: The best man can take time out to check in with the groom and provide a sounding board for any nerves or wedding anxiety.
• Helping with the pre-wedding set-up: The best man can help the couple by picking up and delivering any hired items, such as wedding suits, and assisting with any set-up at the venue.
• Staying over with the groom: Traditionally, the best man stays with the groom the night before the wedding, providing drinks and snacks, and making sure the groom doesn't drink too much or eat anything that might cause an issue on the wedding day.

The best man's role is to be the groom's friend and provide support and guidance throughout the planning process and on the wedding day itself. They are also often expected to dance with the maid of honour during the first song at the reception.

Best man's duties on the wedding day

The best man has a lot of responsibilities on the wedding day, and it's up to them to ensure the groom's day goes as smoothly as possible. Here is a detailed list of duties to be carried out on the day:

Before the Ceremony

• Help the groom get ready and ensure he and the groomsmen are on time.
• Organise the ushers and keep them on schedule.
• Keep the wedding rings safe and organise any ring bearers.
• Ensure the groom arrives at the venue at least 20 minutes before the ceremony.
• Greet the guests with the groom and create a warm and inviting atmosphere.

During the Ceremony

• Stand at the altar with the groom.
• Escort the maid of honour out of the ceremony.
• Witness the marriage license and sign it.
• Be the first one on the dance floor after the couple's first dance.

After the Ceremony

• Help organise the wedding photographs.
• Make a speech.
• Dance with the maid of honour.
• Ensure guests are having a good time and the party is going well.
• Help collect gifts and ensure they are stored safely.
• Decorate the getaway car.

The best man is also expected to step in and fill any gaps if the DJ or band doesn't show up, or if there is no master of ceremonies.

Best man's speech

The best man's speech is one of the most important duties of the role. It's a big responsibility, but it's also a great honour and a chance to celebrate your friend or family member's marriage. Here are some tips to help you prepare:

Know Your Responsibilities

The best man is the groom's right-hand man and is responsible for a lot more than just the speech. You'll be in charge of planning the bachelor party, keeping the groomsmen organised, and making sure the groom gets everywhere he needs to be on time. You'll also be the groom's confidant and emotional support throughout the process, so be prepared to lend an ear and provide reassurance when needed.

Prepare Your Speech in Advance

Start brainstorming ideas for your speech early on. You'll want to include a mix of humour and sentimentality, but be careful not to embarrass the couple or offend any family members with your jokes. A good starting point is to share a story about the couple and connect it to a principle of a happy marriage. You can also include a famous quotation on love or life and relate it to the couple.

Practice and Time Your Delivery

Practise your speech beforehand, and remember to speak slowly and clearly. Don't feel like you have to make everyone laugh and cry; a short, sincere speech is often more effective than a long, rambling one. If you're nervous about public speaking, you can always ask someone else to give the toast or have a drink to calm your nerves. However, remember that you're expected to stay relatively sober, as you'll need to drive the couple to their wedding-night hotel or the airport after the reception.

Know Your Place in the Speech Order

Traditionally, the best man's speech comes last, after the father of the bride, groom, and maid of honour. However, this order can vary depending on the wedding and the number of speeches. For example, there may be a speech from the bride or a group toast from the groomsmen.

Dance with the Maid of Honour

After the first dance, it's traditional for the best man to dance with the maid of honour to get the party started. This can be a slow dance or something more upbeat, but it's a great way to kick off the reception and encourage everyone onto the dance floor.

Enjoy the Party!

Once you've delivered your speech and had your dance, your official duties are over. You can now relax and enjoy the rest of the celebration! However, as an important member of the wedding party, it's also your job to keep an eye on the guests and ensure everyone is behaving appropriately.

Best man's duties after the wedding

While the best man's responsibilities are mostly focused on the lead-up to and the day of the wedding, there are still a few duties that need to be fulfilled after the wedding. Here are some of the key post-wedding duties for the best man:

Return and Clean Suits

The best man may be asked to help return hired items, such as suits and any decorative details used at the venue. If the suits weren't hired, the best man may be responsible for taking them to be dry-cleaned as soon as possible.

Take Care of Wedding Gifts

The best man might also be asked to safely store the wedding gifts if the couple goes on their honeymoon immediately. Even if they don't leave directly after the wedding, the best man may still be tasked with ensuring all gifts, cards, and items like the guest book and any important keepsakes are collected from the venue and delivered to the couple.

Check-In with Vendors

Once the wedding is over, the best man usually confirms that all wedding-related expenses are handled and that vendors are tipped and paid.

Coordinate and Decorate the Getaway Car

The best man often helps coordinate car transportation for the newlyweds to leave the reception. They may also enlist the help of the wedding party to decorate the getaway car.

Frequently asked questions