Navigating My Son's Wedding With Few Friends

If your son doesn't have many friends to invite to his wedding, it's important to remember that the wedding is about him and his partner, and their decision about the guest list shouldn't be taken personally. Budget and space limitations are also valid reasons for a small guest list. Your son and his partner should focus on inviting the people they love and who bring them joy, and be mindful of their own feelings and preferences when planning their big day.

Invite only those you love and are close to

It's important to remember that your wedding day is one of the biggest days of your life, so you're allowed to do it on your terms. This means only inviting those you love and are close to.

If you don't have many friends to invite, that's okay. Your wedding guest list doesn't have to be a long one. It's quality, not quantity, that matters.

Your wedding day is about you and your partner, so it's imperative that you consider people that hold a special place in your lives, will support you throughout your marriage, and will generally be happy for you. This could be a small group of close friends and family.

If you're concerned about the guest list being small, there are ways to include non-invited guests in your celebration. For example, you could throw a second reception, host an intimate dinner, or have a cocktail party.

Remember, it's your wedding, so do what makes you happy.

Don't invite people you've lost touch with

It's completely understandable to feel embarrassed about not having many friends to invite to your son's wedding. However, it's important to remember that weddings are about celebrating the love and union of two people, and the people who truly matter will understand that. Here are some tips to help you navigate this situation:

It's perfectly fine to not invite people you've lost touch with, especially if you haven't spoken to them in a long time. Weddings are expensive, and guest lists can quickly get out of hand. By keeping the guest list limited to those who are currently close to your son and his partner, you can ensure a more intimate and meaningful celebration. It's also worth noting that your son and his partner may prefer a smaller wedding to keep things more manageable and within their budget.

Be Open and Honest

If anyone close to your son or his partner asks about the guest list, it's best to be honest and straightforward. Explain that they are keeping the wedding small and intimate, and that they couldn't invite everyone they would have liked to due to space or budget constraints. Most people will understand these limitations and won't take it personally.

Focus on the Couple's Wishes

Remember that this is your son's wedding, and the most important thing is to respect his wishes and those of his partner. If they are happy with a small wedding, support their decision and help them create a positive and memorable experience.

Suggest Alternative Ways to Celebrate

If there are people your son and his partner feel bad about not inviting, suggest alternative ways to celebrate with them. For example, they could host a small get-together or dinner after the wedding to include those who couldn't make the guest list. This way, they can still share their joy with a wider circle of friends and family.

Remember, It's Not About You

It's natural to feel concerned about what others might think, but try to shift the focus away from yourself. This is about your son's happiness and the start of a new chapter in his life.

Be Mindful of Your Son's Feelings

While it's normal to have your own concerns and insecurities about the wedding, be mindful of your son's feelings as well. Wedding planning can be stressful, and they may be dealing with a lot of pressure and expectations. Be supportive and understanding, and offer to help in any way you can to make their special day a success.

In summary, it's okay to not have many friends to invite to your son's wedding. Keep the focus on the couple, be honest and straightforward about the guest list limitations, and suggest alternative ways to include those who aren't invited. Most importantly, remember that this is about your son's happiness and the start of a new chapter in his life.

Consider your budget and venue

When considering the budget and venue for your son's wedding, it's important to remember that the venue and catering will likely be the largest part of the budget. The average cost of a wedding in the United States in 2024 is $33,000, with the venue and catering taking up about 45% of that.

If your son and their partner are working with a smaller budget, there are ways to save money on the venue and catering. Choosing a less expensive venue, such as a city park or backyard, can be a more affordable option. Additionally, opting for a less formal wedding style can also reduce costs. A cocktail soirée with hors d'oeuvres instead of a full six-course meal, for example, will likely be less expensive.

Another option is to keep the guest list small. The cost of food and drinks is usually the biggest expense after the venue, so reducing the number of guests can significantly lower the overall budget.

If your son and their partner are open to a non-traditional wedding, they could also consider a courthouse wedding, which would significantly reduce the cost of the venue and catering.

When it comes to budgeting, it's important to be realistic and honest about expectations. Discuss what is most important to your son and their partner, and allocate the budget accordingly. Be sure to build in some wiggle room for unexpected expenses, such as overtime fees or additional decorations.

• 40% for the venue and catering ($8,000)
• 10% for furniture rental ($2,000)
• 10% for photography ($2,000)
• 10% for flowers and decor ($2,000)
• 10% for entertainment ($2,000)
• 10% for bride and groom attire ($2,000)
• 2% for hairstyling and makeup ($400)
• 2% for the cake ($400)
• 2% for stationery/invitations ($400)
• 2% for favors ($400)
• 2% for transportation ($400)

Remember, this is just an example, and your son and their partner can adjust the budget to fit their priorities and needs.

If they are concerned about not having many friends to invite, they could consider a small, intimate wedding with only their closest friends and family. Ultimately, the most important thing is that they feel comfortable and happy with their wedding, regardless of the size or location.

Don't let parents add guests you don't know

It is your wedding, and you can choose who to invite. If you don't want your parents to add guests you don't know, then don't let them. It is as simple as that.

If you are worried about offending your parents, you could try to explain your reasoning to them. Tell them that you want to keep the wedding small and intimate, and that you don't want to be surrounded by strangers on your special day. You could also suggest that you are happy for them to invite a small number of their closest friends, but that you would like to meet these people first.

If your parents are contributing financially to the wedding, then it might be polite to allow them to invite a few guests. However, if you are paying for the wedding yourself, then you are under no obligation to invite anyone you don't want to.

Remember, this is your wedding, and you can celebrate it however you want. Don't feel pressured into inviting people you don't know just to please your parents. Stand your ground, and be firm but polite when explaining your decision. Good luck!

Account for plus-ones

When it comes to plus-ones, it's important to remember that there are no set rules. However, standard wedding etiquette suggests that the following guests should receive a plus-one:

• Members of the couple's immediate family
• Wedding party members
• Outlier guests who won't know many other attendees
• Couples who are engaged, live together, or are in a serious or long-term relationship

If you're working within budget or space constraints, it's perfectly acceptable to only extend plus-ones to those who need a "buddy" or a date. If your single guests know everyone at the wedding, they will likely have a great time without a plus-one.

If you're worried about offending guests who don't receive a plus-one, you can politely explain that you have limited space and are only able to invite close friends and family. You could also suggest that you'd be happy to celebrate with them at a later date, perhaps by hosting a smaller, more intimate gathering.

• Get the name of every guest and their plus-one (if applicable) on the RSVP. This will help with seating arrangements and avoid surprises on the day.
• Be prepared to respond to requests from guests who want a plus-one but haven't been offered one. Have a kind but firm explanation, such as "We'd love to include everyone, but unfortunately, our budget only allowed us to invite close friends and family."
• Use proper plus-one invitation etiquette. When addressing invitations, use the term "invited guest" instead of "plus-one" to add formality.
• Keep track of RSVPs and follow up on any unconfirmed plus-ones.
• If you're a guest, only include a plus-one if they're guaranteed to attend, and be sure to introduce them to the couple at some point during the wedding.

Remember, it's your wedding, so ultimately, the decision about who gets a plus-one is up to you and your partner. Don't be afraid to set boundaries and stick to them.

Frequently asked questions