Bridesmaids' Guide To A Destination Wedding: Dos And Don'ts

Planning a wedding is stressful, and destination weddings come with their own unique challenges. From travel logistics to keeping guests entertained, there's a lot to think about. But what about the bridesmaids? What are their responsibilities when it comes to a destination wedding?

Firstly, it's important to remember that being a bridesmaid comes with a long list of responsibilities, and a destination wedding is no exception. In the lead-up to the wedding, bridesmaids are typically expected to plan and attend pre-wedding parties, help with wedding planning tasks, and provide emotional support to the bride. They may also need to book their own travel and hotel reservations, especially if the wedding is in a remote location.

On the wedding day itself, bridesmaids should be prepared to help the bride get ready, provide snacks and drinks for the bridal party, and be a point of contact for guests and vendors. They will also need to participate in the ceremony and be model guests, mingling with other guests and participating in activities.

When it comes to packing for a destination wedding, there are some essential items that bridesmaids shouldn't forget. Of course, the bridesmaid dress is a must, but it's also important to pack comfortable shoes, jewellery, and a clutch bag. Toiletry and beauty products are also key, as well as a phone charger and an extension cord. And don't forget a wedding gift for the happy couple!

So, if you're a bridesmaid in a destination wedding, be prepared to go the extra mile to support the bride and make her day memorable. With careful planning and attention to detail, you can help create a seamless and enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

Help the bride emotionally

Being a bridesmaid at a destination wedding is a big responsibility, and it's important to be there for the bride emotionally. Here are some ways you can help the bride with her emotions:

• Check in with her regularly throughout the wedding planning process. Ask how she's feeling and if there's anything she needs. Be sensitive and thoughtful in your approach, and offer a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on.
• Help to keep her calm and collected on the wedding day. This might include answering any incoming calls or texts, ensuring she stays hydrated and has something to eat, and keeping her smiling and laughing.
• Be mindful of her needs during the lead-up to the wedding. Wedding planning can be stressful, so offer to take some tasks off her hands or suggest a relaxing spa day.
• Accompany her to wedding planning appointments, such as hair and makeup trials, dress fittings, or venue visits. Your presence will be a source of support and help her feel less overwhelmed.
• Offer to help with smaller wedding planning tasks, such as stuffing envelopes, alphabetizing escort cards, or easy DIY projects. This will take some pressure off the bride and give her more time to focus on her well-being.
• If you notice the bride is feeling overwhelmed or stressed, suggest a break or a change of scenery. Sometimes, a short walk or a quiet moment can make a big difference in managing emotions.
• Be prepared to provide practical support, such as running last-minute errands or coordinating with vendors. This will help alleviate some of the bride's stress and allow her to focus on her emotional well-being.

Remember, as a bridesmaid, your role is to be the bride's emotional rock. Be supportive, sensitive, and thoughtful, and don't hesitate to offer a helping hand whenever possible.

Plan and pay for the bridal shower

Planning and paying for the bridal shower is usually the duty of the maid of honour, but bridesmaids can be expected to contribute to the costs. The host will usually pay for most of the bridal shower, but bridesmaids may be asked to chip in for smaller expenses like decorations, favours, or surprises for the bride-to-be.

If you are a bridesmaid, it's a good idea to communicate with the maid of honour and other bridesmaids about what you can afford. If you are unable to contribute financially, there are other ways to help, such as sending out invitations, setting up the food, decorating the space, and cleaning up.

The cost of a bridal shower varies depending on the venue, guest count, and food and drinks being served. On the upper end of the scale, budget for $125 per person for an event at a venue. This would cover paper invitations, a meal, drinks, cake, floral centrepieces, games, and prizes. At the lower end of the scale, budget $40 per person for an at-home event with light refreshments provided by a caterer. This would also cover invitations, drinks, simple decorations, games, and prizes.

If the bridal shower is a simple tea party at home or another more low-key event, it will be more affordable. Homemade nibbles and a glass or two of wine are perfectly acceptable. Remember, the purpose of the event is to shower the couple with gifts before the big day, so you don't need to get carried away with too many bells and whistles.

Plan and pay for the bachelorette party

Planning and paying for the bachelorette party is a big responsibility for the bridesmaids, especially the maid of honour. Here are some tips for planning and paying for the bachelorette party for a destination wedding:

Give Guests a Heads-Up

If you're planning a destination bachelorette party, it's important to let the guests know well in advance. This gives them time to save money and make travel arrangements. It's also a good idea to choose a destination that takes into account everyone's budget.

Travel and Accommodations

Each guest, including the bride, is expected to pay for their own travel and accommodations. This can be a significant expense, so it's important to give guests plenty of notice. Hacks like Airbnb and carpooling can help reduce costs.

Meals

Bridesmaids are usually expected to pay for the bride's meals. To keep costs down, opt for casual restaurants, takeout, or cooking at home. You can also choose one nicer restaurant for a special meal. Drinks are usually paid for individually, but the bridesmaids might choose to treat the bride to a round or two.

Decorations and Gifts

The maid of honour and bridesmaids typically cover the cost of decorations and party favours. These items are usually inexpensive and can be bought online. Gifts for the bride are also usually covered by the bridesmaids, but this is not a requirement.

Special Experiences

If the bride wants everyone to participate in a special experience, like an expensive show, she should offer to pay for it. If the bridesmaids want to surprise the bride with an activity, they should cover the cost.

Safety Measures

The bride is expected to pay for safety measures, such as chartered rides, to ensure that everyone can party and get home safely.

Budgeting and Payment

The maid of honour or whoever is in charge of planning should discuss the budget with each guest individually and set a realistic budget that everyone is comfortable with. They should also keep track of expenses and collect payment from the guests.

Saving Money

To save money, consider opting for more affordable accommodations, adding some budget-friendly activities to the itinerary, or choosing a unique alternative to a weekend getaway, like a movie night or a cooking class.

Be the bride's right-hand woman

Being the bride's right-hand woman is a big responsibility. As a bridesmaid, you are expected to be the bride's emotional rock and provide support throughout the entire wedding process. Here are some ways you can be the ultimate right-hand woman for the bride at a destination wedding:

Pre-Wedding

• Help plan and pay for the bridal shower and bachelorette party. This includes helping to secure travel plans, accommodations, activities, and transportation, as well as dividing the costs with other bridesmaids.
• Attend all pre-wedding events, such as engagement parties, couples' showers, and any wedding DIY sessions.
• Book your travel and hotel reservations early to ensure convenience and smooth logistics for the wedding schedule.
• Be present at the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner to provide support and practical help with final preparations.
• Check in with the bride regularly and ask what she needs. Be sensitive and thoughtful in your support, and help keep her smiling and calm.
• Assist with smaller wedding planning tasks, such as stuffing envelopes, alphabetizing escort cards, easy DIY projects, or accompanying the bride to pick out rentals or attend hair and makeup trials.
• Buy a wedding present for the couple, or go in on a big-ticket group gift with the other bridesmaids. If the wedding is a destination wedding, your presence may be considered a gift, and a gift may not be expected.

On the Wedding Day

• Show up on time and prepared at the designated getting-ready location with all your gear, including your bridesmaid attire, shoes, jewellery, makeup, and undergarments.
• Assist the maid of honour with any tasks she may need help with, such as making last-minute runs or coordinating with the photographer or wedding planner.
• Keep the bride smiling, calm, and collected. Answer any incoming calls or texts, ensure she eats and stays hydrated, and help her with her dress, shoes, jewellery, and veil.
• Provide getting-ready snacks and sips for the bride, her mother, the photographer, beauty stylists, and anyone else who may appreciate them throughout the busy day.
• Be the bride's support crew and point of contact for guests and vendors. Ensure all wedding party members have their personal flowers and assist with pinning on boutonnieres or other floral accessories. Help guests navigate the venue, directing them to parking areas, bathrooms, handicap access, exits, and refreshments.
• Participate in the ceremony, being respectful and keeping chatter to a minimum. Follow the photographer's commands for group photos and stick together with the other bridesmaids.
• Mingle with guests, enjoy the food and drinks, sit at your assigned dinner table, and participate in guest activities like signing the guest book or visiting the photo booth.
• Help the maid of honour, coordinator, or the couple's parents assemble items that need to be transported out of the reception venue at the end of the night, such as getting-ready clothing, extra programs, favours, decor, bouquets, wedding cards and gifts, toasting flutes, and leftover food and cake.
• Ensure guests make it safely out of the venue and onto shuttle buses or their cars. Hand out pre-addressed tip envelopes to vendors and make sure the couple's overnight bags make it to their wedding night hotel room.

Provide getting-ready snacks

Providing getting-ready snacks is a thoughtful way to ensure the bride and her tribe are well-fed and energised for the day ahead. It's also a great way to keep the bride's mother, the photographer, and beauty stylists happy and well-nourished.

• Fruit and vegetable platters with a variety of dips, such as hummus or tzatziki.
• Cheese and charcuterie boards with crackers and bread.
• Finger foods such as mini quiches, sandwiches, or wraps.
• Sweet treats like muffins, cookies, or energy balls.
• Healthy options like granola bars, fruit smoothies, or yoghurt parfaits.
• Don't forget to provide a variety of beverages, including water, juice, tea, and coffee.

If you're unsure about dietary restrictions or preferences, consider providing a mix of options to accommodate different needs. For example, offer both gluten-free and vegan snacks, as well as some heartier options for those who prefer a more substantial meal.

Additionally, if there are no other arrangements, the bridesmaids should also take it upon themselves to provide some sips and snacks for the bride and her tribe to enjoy throughout the busy day. This could include items such as:

• Bottled water or flavoured water.
• Fruit juices or smoothies.
• Coffee, tea, or other hot beverages.
• Light snacks like granola bars, fresh fruit, or nuts.
• Sweet treats such as cookies or chocolate.

Remember, it's important to keep everyone happy, hydrated, and energised, especially the bride, so they can fully enjoy the celebrations!

Frequently asked questions