
Marriage vows are promises exchanged between a couple during their wedding ceremony. They are not a universal requirement for marriage and are not legally mandated in most jurisdictions. However, in some places, they are a legal requirement, serving as a binding contract between the couple. While traditional vows are often dictated by the religion or culture underpinning the marriage, couples may choose to personalise their vows or create their own. In the United States, for instance, the state of Virginia does not provide official vows, but couples must verbally consent to enter a legal marriage. In the United Kingdom, the state recognises marriages conducted by the Society of Friends (Quakers), Jews, and the Church of England.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Vows are legally binding | Varies by jurisdiction |
| Vows are based on religion | Catholic, Christian, Jewish, Hindu, etc. |
| Vows are based on heritage | Varies by culture |
| Vows are traditional | Passed down for generations |
| Vows are customizable | Couples can write their own |
| Vows are a declaration of love | "I take you to be my wedded wife/husband" |
| Vows are a promise of commitment | "To have and to hold, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part" |
| Vows are made in the presence of witnesses | Family, friends, officiant, etc. |
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What You'll Learn

Wedding vows are not a legal requirement in most jurisdictions
However, in some cultures and religions, the exchange of vows is considered a critical component of the wedding ceremony. For example, in Hindu weddings, couples recite a set of vows known as saptapadi, or the Seven Steps, as they walk around a ring of fire to honour the Hindu god of fire. In Jewish ceremonies, the vows are recited only when the ring is given or exchanged.
The content and format of wedding vows can also be influenced by cultural and religious traditions. Traditional wedding vows have been passed down for generations and are often determined by the religion underlying the marriage ceremony. For instance, Catholic and Christian wedding vows often include the phrase "to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part".
While wedding vows are not legally required in most places, they hold symbolic and emotional significance for many couples. They serve as a public declaration of the couple's commitment and love for each other, setting the tone for their married life together.
Although not mandatory, the exchange of vows during a wedding ceremony can be a powerful moment that reinforces the seriousness and importance of the commitment being made. Whether couples choose to recite traditional vows or write their own, the words spoken during this ritual can provide a sense of continuity with the past and a foundation for their future together.
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Vows are determined by the religion underpinning the ceremony
The wedding vows that are spoken during a ceremony are often determined by the religion underpinning it. While some couples may choose to write their own vows, many opt for traditional ones.
Christian Wedding Vows
In Christian weddings, the couple usually promises to love, cherish and be faithful to each other. The wedding vows practised in most English-speaking countries are derived from the Sarum Rite of medieval England. The vows are said in the "mother tongue" of those present. The oldest traditional wedding vows can be traced back to the manuals of the medieval church in England. The first Book of Common Prayer, published in 1549, based its marriage service on the Sarum manual. The Church of England usually offers couples a choice of vows. The couple could promise each other to "love and cherish" or, alternatively, the groom promises to "love, cherish, and worship", and the bride to "love, cherish, and obey". The Episcopal Church voted to remove the word "obey" from the bride's section of wedding vows in 1922. In Catholic weddings, the priest may say: "You have declared your consent before the Church. May the Lord in his goodness strengthen your consent and fill you both with his blessings. What God has joined, men must not divide. Amen."
Hindu Wedding Vows
In Hindu weddings, couples recite a set of vows known as saptapadi, or the Seven Steps. This list of promises is recited as the couple walks around a ring of fire to honour Agni, the Hindu god of fire.
Jewish Wedding Vows
In Jewish ceremonies, vows are recited only when the ring is given or exchanged. The groom says: "Harey at mekuddeshet li B'taba'at zo k'dat Moshe V'israel," which means, "Behold, thou art consecrated unto me with this ring according to the law of Moses and of Israel."
Muslim Wedding Vows
Muslim wedding ceremonies (nikah) do not involve traditional marriage vows. Instead, the Imam, the head of the Mosque, talks about the meaning of marriage, as well as the couple’s responsibilities to Allah and to each other. Once the Imam has recited this marriage contract, the couple formally consents to the marriage.
Russian Wedding Vows
In Russian weddings, the bride and groom take turns reciting: “I, ___, take you, ___, as my wedded wife/husband and I promise you love, honour, and respect; to be faithful to you, and not to forsake you until death do us part. So help me God, one in the Holy Trinity, and all the Saints.”
Quaker Wedding Vows
In the Quaker religion, the wedding is held during a worship meeting with no intermediary present. According to their beliefs, only God can join two people in marriage. The couple, along with family and friends, worship in silence and then recite their standard marriage vows.
Apache Wedding Vows
In an Apache wedding, a blessing is included, which goes as follows: "Now you will feel no rain, for you will be shelter to each other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there is no more loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other."
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Couples can choose to write their own vows
Marriage vows are promises that each partner in a couple makes to the other during a wedding ceremony. They are based on Western Christian norms, but they are not universal to marriage and are not necessary in most legal jurisdictions.
Traditional vows can be a great source of inspiration for couples who want to write their own. For instance, traditional Catholic vows often include the phrase "I, [name], take you, [name], for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." Similarly, traditional Christian vows often include the phrase "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death."
Couples can use these traditional vows as a starting point and change them to fit their unique personalities and beliefs. For example, a couple might want to incorporate terms from Star Wars, such as "Jedi" and "The Force," into their vows. Or, they might want to include references to their cultural or religious heritage, such as the Seven Steps recited in Hindu weddings or the ring ceremony in Jewish weddings.
By writing their own vows, couples can create a ceremony that truly reflects their partnership and makes their wedding day even more special.
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Traditional vows vary across religions and cultures
Traditional wedding vows vary across religions and cultures, with couples often choosing to honour their heritage through the vows they exchange. While some couples prefer to write their own vows, many opt for traditional vows as a way to incorporate their faith or culture into the ceremony.
In Christian weddings, traditional vows are some of the most commonly exchanged and are familiar even outside of Christian communities. In the name of God, the bride and groom promise to "have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death". In the Church of England, couples are given a choice. The couple can promise each other to "love and cherish", or the groom can promise to "love, cherish, and worship", while the bride promises to "love, cherish, and obey". In 1922, the Episcopal Church voted to remove the word "obey" from the bride's vows.
In Jewish ceremonies, there is typically no spoken exchange of vows. Instead, the key moments include the ring exchange and the Seven Blessings, often recited in Hebrew. During a double-ring ceremony, the bride and groom may say to each other, "Behold, thou art consecrated unto me with this ring according to the law of Moses and of Israel".
In Muslim weddings, the nikkah, or wedding ceremony, does not traditionally include vows. Instead, the cleric will deliver a short sermon and marital blessing before the couple offers their consent. If vows are exchanged, the bride may say, "I, [name], offer you myself in marriage in accordance with the instructions of the Holy Quran and the Holy Prophet, peace and blessing be upon him".
In Buddhist weddings, the ceremony does not traditionally include a ring exchange, though some couples choose to incorporate one. In the Tibetan Buddhist tradition, the officiant reads a set of vows, and the couple answers together, creating a sense of companionship.
Hindu weddings include a set of vows known as saptapadi, or the Seven Steps. The couple recites their vows as they walk around a ring of fire to honour Agni, the Hindu god of fire.
In addition to these religious traditions, there are also cultural variations in wedding vows. For example, in a Greek Orthodox wedding, the vows are: "I, [name], take you, [name], as my wedded wife/husband, and I promise you love, honour and respect; to be faithful to you, and not to forsake you until death do us part. So help me God, one in the Holy Trinity and all the Saints".
Couples with different religious or cultural backgrounds sometimes blend elements from both upbringings in their wedding vows.
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Vows are a legally binding contract
Marriage vows are promises made by each partner during a wedding ceremony. They are based on Western Christian norms and are not universal to marriage or legally required in most jurisdictions. However, they are a legal requirement in some places, such as the United Kingdom, where the state recognises marriages conducted by certain religious groups and the Church of England. In the United States, there are no official vows provided by states like Virginia for a legal marriage, but a verbal confirmation of the intention to marry is required.
The content of wedding vows varies according to the specific religion and culture of the couple. Traditional Christian wedding vows, for example, include phrases such as "to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part". These vows are often followed by an exchange of rings, which symbolises the unbroken circle of love. In Jewish ceremonies, the vows are recited only when the ring is given, with the groom saying, "Behold, thou art consecrated unto me with this ring according to the law of Moses and of Israel". Hindu weddings involve a set of vows known as "saptapadi", or the Seven Steps, which are recited as the couple walks around a ring of fire to honour the Hindu god of fire.
While traditional vows are often used, couples may also choose to personalise their vows or create their own. This allows them to incorporate elements that reflect their unique personalities, such as references to their favourite films or cultural heritage. Ultimately, the vows, along with the presence of witnesses and civil registration, constitute a legally binding contract with technicalities for both parties.
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Frequently asked questions
There are no federal legal wedding vows in the US. Each state has its own requirements, but generally, all that is required is a verbal confirmation that both parties wish to enter into a legal marriage.
In England, the Church of England usually offers couples a choice of vows. The couple could promise each other to "love and cherish" or, alternatively, the groom promises to "love, cherish, and worship", and the bride to "love, cherish, and obey".
In Hindu weddings, couples recite a set of vows known as saptapadi, or the Seven Steps. This list of promises is recited as the couple walks around a ring of fire to honour Agni, the Hindu god of fire.
In Jewish ceremonies, vows are recited only when the ring is given (or rings are exchanged). The groom says: "Behold, thou art consecrated unto me with this ring according to the law of Moses and of Israel".

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