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Wedding vows are promises made by the couple during a wedding ceremony. The couple can choose to write their own vows or use traditional vows. Traditional vows are responded to with an I do and are repeated after the officiant. An example of traditional vows is: [Name], do you take [name] to be your lawfully wedded [wife/husband]? Do you promise to love and cherish her/him, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, for richer for poorer, keep yourself only unto her/him, for so long as you both shall live?.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Response | I do |
| Customizable | Yes |
| Recitation Style | Repeat after the officiant or respond to the officiant |
| Recited By | Bride and Groom |
| Content | Promises to love, respect, cherish, support, and be faithful |
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What You'll Learn
Traditional vows vs. personalised vows
The wedding vow exchange is one of the most emotional parts of the wedding day, whether you opt for traditional or personalised vows. Traditional vows are often chosen for religious reasons, fear of public speaking, time constraints, or discomfort with openly expressing emotions. They have been spoken by millions of people for hundreds of years and can be a powerful way to connect with history and a wider community.
Traditional vows typically follow a familiar structure, with phrases such as "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my [wife/husband]", "in sickness and in health", "for richer, for poorer", and "I do". These vows are responded to with an "I do" rather than being repeated after the officiant, although some couples may choose to repeat them for clarity or preference.
Personalised vows, on the other hand, allow you to customise what you want to say to your partner. They give you the freedom to express your unique love story and can make your wedding more intimate and meaningful. Writing your own vows can be a challenging task, requiring careful thought, time, and attention. It may involve multiple drafts and seeking advice from friends, family, or online resources.
Some couples may opt for a combination of traditional and personalised vows. They might modify traditional vows to make them more current and fresh or exchange personalised vows in a private setting before the wedding, such as during a first look or with close family. Ultimately, the decision between traditional and personalised vows depends on what makes the couple happy and comfortable.
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I do vs. repeating vows
There are many different ways to approach wedding vows, and the decision of whether to write your own or use traditional vows can be a difficult one. Traditional vows are often responded to with a simple "I do", rather than repeating the vows verbatim. This format is preferred by some as it can feel more natural and flow better.
For example, a traditional vow may be phrased as a question: " [Name], do you take [name] to be your lawfully wedded [wife/husband]? Do you promise to love and cherish her/him, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, and so on?". The response to this is a simple "I do".
On the other hand, some couples may choose to repeat their vows, often encouraged by their officiant. These vows can be memorised or repeated after the officiant, phrase by phrase. An example of this is: "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my [wife/husband]. I promise to love and cherish you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health...", and so on.
Some couples may also choose to modify or customise their vows, perhaps taking elements of traditional vows and adding personal touches. This allows couples to express their feelings in their own words, connecting them to a wider community and history while also making the vows unique to them.
Ultimately, the decision of whether to use "I do" or repeat vows is a personal one, and couples may choose to discuss this with their officiant to decide on the best approach for their wedding ceremony.
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Vows in front of God
The traditional wedding vows are a sacred oath, often taken in the presence of God, to seal a couple's commitment to each other.
The ceremony of marriage is one of the oldest in the world, celebrated initially in the presence of God. Marriage is a spiritual covenant of heart and soul, a shelter for love and intimacy, and a lifelong connection of two lives, two hearts, and two fortunes.
The following vows can be used to express this commitment:
"I, [name], take you, [name], to be my [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health. I promise to love and cherish you, and be faithful to you, for as long as we both shall live."
The above vow can be modified to include additional sentiments, such as:
"I come here today, [name], to join my life to yours before this company. In their presence, I pledge to be true to you, to respect you, and to grow with you through the years. No matter what we may encounter together, I vow that this love will be my only love. As freely, [name], as God has given me life, I join my life with yours. Wherever you go, I will go, and I will give myself to no other."
The vows can also be structured as a series of questions, to which the response is "I do":
" [Name], will you have [name] to be your lawful wedded [wife/husband]? Will you love, comfort, and keep them in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to them so long as you both shall live?"
The traditional vows are a powerful way to express a couple's commitment and love, and when spoken in front of God, they seal a sacred bond.
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Vows with a ring exchange
The ring exchange is a symbolic and meaningful part of your wedding ceremony. It usually takes place after your vows, when the officiant will ask you to place the ring on your partner's finger and recite your chosen words. You can choose to include the ring exchange within your vows, or keep them separate.
"With this ring, I join my life with yours. I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and commitment to you. With this ring, I happily marry you and join my life to yours forevermore."
"I give you this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness. You are the love of my life and my best friend. With this ring, I vow to love and honour you from this moment forward."
"I, [name], take you, [name], to be my [wife/husband]. With this ring, I thee wed, now and for all of our adventures ahead. I promise to love and cherish you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others, keep myself only unto you, for so long as we both shall live."
" [Partner A], please place [Partner B]'s ring on their finger and make your vow to them. With this ring, I promise to be your friend, to comfort you and listen to you. To celebrate your successes and support you in your struggles. To love, respect and care for you, through all the days of my life."
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Vows with a non-religious officiant
A non-religious wedding ceremony is a legally binding ceremony that does not incorporate faith traditions or follow a religious format. This gives couples the freedom to craft a ceremony that is unique to them, telling their story and capturing their personalities.
Planning your vows
When writing your vows, it is important to plan ahead. Discuss with your partner whether you will write them separately or together, and whether you will share them before the ceremony. Agree on any special phrases or promises you want to include, and decide on the length and tone. It is also a good idea to create backup copies and plan how you will deliver them, for example, from memory, or by reading them from vow books, cards, or devices.
Sample vows
"I, [name], take you [name], to be my spouse, best friend and confidant, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."
"I choose you, [name], to be my wife/husband, as my friend and love. On this day I affirm the relationship we have enjoyed, looking to the future and to keep and strengthen it. I will be yours in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph. Together, we will dream, and live as one while respecting one another, we will stumble but restore each other, we will share all things. I will cherish, comfort, and encourage you, be open with you, and stay with you as long as I shall live."
"You cannot possess me for I belong to myself, but while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give. You cannot command me, for I am a free person. But I shall serve you in those ways you require, and the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand."
"I vow to bring you happiness, and I will treasure you as my companion. I will celebrate the joys of life with you. I promise to support your dreams, and walk beside you offering courage and strength through all endeavours. From this day forward, I will be proud to be your wife/husband and your best friend."
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Frequently asked questions
"I do" wedding vows are traditional wedding vows where the response to the officiant's questions is "I do", rather than repeating the vows verbatim.
Some examples of "I do" vows include: "Will you have this man/woman to be your wedded wife/husband, to live together in the covenant of marriage? Do you promise to love him/her, comfort him/her, honour and keep him/her, in sickness and in health; forsaking all others, be faithful to him/her as long as you both shall live?"
"I do" vows are often favoured as they are less stressful than memorising personalised vows, and they are also more natural and flow better.
Yes, you can modify traditional "I do" vows to make them more personalised. You can add or remove phrases to make them unique to you and your partner.
