Bridesmaids' Duties: What You Need To Know

Bridesmaids are an important part of the wedding party, supporting the bride and helping with planning and executing pre-wedding events. While the role has evolved over time, bridesmaids are still responsible for various tasks on the wedding day itself. From choosing their attire to offering emotional support, planning bridal showers and bachelorette parties, and even acting as legal witnesses, the duties of a bridesmaid are diverse and tailored to the bride's needs. The role is typically filled by close friends or relatives of the bride, forming a team to ensure the wedding runs smoothly and memorably.

Emotional support

On the wedding day, bridesmaids should do whatever they can to keep the bride calm and collected, such as answering any incoming texts or calls, making sure she eats and stays hydrated, and keeping her smiling and laughing. Bridesmaids should also help the bride get ready, assisting with her dress, shoes, jewellery, and veil.

Bridesmaids should also be aware that their role as an emotional support might extend to other members of the bridal party and the bride's family. For example, they could be called upon to help the bride's mother or the maid of honour if they are feeling overwhelmed.

Planning pre-wedding events

Engagement Party:

Although not always necessary, engagement parties are a great way to celebrate the happy couple, especially if there are loved ones in different cities. It is important to only include guests who will also be invited to the wedding. While gifts are not required, it is common to receive a few. As a bridesmaid, you can offer to help with decorations, planning, and any other tasks that the couple or hosts may need assistance with.

Bridal Shower:

The bridal shower, also known as a wedding shower, is a party that typically includes fun games, food, and gifts for the couple. It is often hosted by close friends or family and can take various forms, such as a couple's shower or a stock-the-bar party. As a bridesmaid, you are expected to attend and help plan and organise the event, including chipping in financially if possible. Offer to assist the maid of honour with the planning and ensure you are available to help with any tasks, such as decorating the venue or greeting guests.

Bachelorette Party:

The bachelorette party is a fun way for the bride to celebrate with her bridesmaids and is usually held a few weeks or months before the wedding. As a bridesmaid, you will be expected to help plan and pay for this event, following the lead of the maid of honour. This may include making reservations, buying decorations, or creating a detailed itinerary for the group. Ensure you are communicative about your budget and expectations to avoid any surprises.

Rehearsal Dinner:

The rehearsal dinner is a gathering that allows the wedding party and families to get acquainted. It is usually the largest pre-wedding event and can require substantial planning in terms of location, timing, invitations, and décor. As a bridesmaid, offer your assistance to the maid of honour or anyone else involved in the planning process. Ensure you attend the rehearsal dinner and be prepared to give a toast if asked.

Bridal Brunch/Bridesmaids Luncheon:

The bridal brunch or bridesmaids luncheon is an opportunity for the bride to thank the women who have helped during the planning process. As a bridesmaid, you can offer to host or co-host this event or provide memorable gifts. It is customary to allow the host to invite a few friends who are also attending the wedding to join this meal.

Welcome Party:

The welcome party is the final event before the wedding and is open to all wedding guests, although attendance is not mandatory. It is a great opportunity for out-of-town guests to mingle and get to know each other. As a bridesmaid, you can offer to help with planning, decorations, or any other tasks that may be required.

Paying for pre-wedding events

For the bridal shower, bridesmaids may be expected to chip in financially, help decorate the venue, or arrive early to greet guests. They will also need to bring a gift for the bride, although they may choose to give a group gift with the other bridesmaids.

For the bachelorette party, bridesmaids will usually be expected to help the maid of honour with various planning tasks, such as making reservations, buying decorations, or designing a detailed itinerary for the group. They will also usually be expected to pay for their own expenses while also pitching in to cover the bride's costs.

In addition to the bridal shower and bachelorette party, there are other pre-wedding events that bridesmaids may be expected to attend and pay for, such as the rehearsal dinner, engagement party, and bridesmaids' luncheon.

It is important to note that the expectations and responsibilities of bridesmaids can vary depending on the bride and the specific wedding. It is always a good idea for bridesmaids to have honest conversations with the bride about their responsibilities and financial expectations from the beginning.

Wedding day assistance

On the wedding day, bridesmaids are responsible for helping everything go smoothly for the bride, the maid of honour, and most of the wedding guests. Here is a list of duties bridesmaids are expected to perform:

• Get ready with the bride: Bridesmaids should plan on showing up at the designated location on time, with all their gear, and do whatever they can to assist the bride. This includes keeping her smiling and calm, answering any calls or texts, ensuring she eats and stays hydrated, and helping her get dressed.
• Provide getting-ready snacks: If no other arrangements have been made, bridesmaids should take it upon themselves to provide snacks and drinks for the bride and anyone else helping her get ready.
• Be the "bride tribe": Bridesmaids should act as a support crew for the bride and the maid of honour. They can also serve as a point of contact for guests and vendors. They should ensure all members of the wedding party have their flowers, help guests navigate the venue, and facilitate guests' participation by directing them to the guest book, wedding favours, etc.
• Participate in the ceremony: Bridesmaids should be on time, hidden out of sight, and ready for their cues to walk down the aisle. During the ceremony, they should hit their rehearsed marks and fulfil any other assigned roles.
• Be photo-ready: Bridesmaids should stick together after the ceremony for group photos, which usually occur at the beginning of the cocktail hour.
• Be model guests: Bridesmaids should mingle with other guests, enjoy the food and drinks, sit at their assigned table, participate in guest-related activities, listen to and applaud speeches, and dance.
• Maintain a stress-free send-off: Bridesmaids should help the maid of honour, coordinator, or the couple's parents assemble any items that need to be transported out of the venue at the end of the night. This includes getting-ready clothing, decor, the couple's wedding cards and gifts, toasting flutes, and a basket of late-night leftovers. They should also ensure all guests make it out of the venue safely, hand out tip envelopes to vendors, and make sure the couple's overnight bags make it to their wedding night hotel room.

Gift organisation

As a bridesmaid, you may be expected to give gifts to the couple at various stages of the wedding process. Here is a guide to gift organisation as a bridesmaid:

Engagement Gifts

It is customary to send the couple a celebratory gift soon after their engagement, even if you have not yet been asked to be a bridesmaid. A simple bottle of bubbly, a bouquet of flowers, or a handwritten note are all thoughtful gestures. If you are already close to the couple, you may be asked to help plan an engagement party.

Bridal Shower Gifts

The maid of honour usually takes the lead in planning the bridal shower, but as a bridesmaid, you will likely be expected to lend a hand. This could include chipping in financially, decorating the venue, or greeting guests. It is also customary to bring a gift for the couple, such as an item from their registry or a group gift from all the bridesmaids.

Bachelorette Party Gifts

The bachelorette party is another pre-wedding event that bridesmaids are typically involved in planning and paying for. This usually takes place a few months before the wedding and includes covering the bride's expenses for the event.

Wedding Gifts

As a bridesmaid, you are expected to give a wedding gift to the couple. This could be something from their registry sent ahead of time or a card with cash or another gift brought on the wedding day. Depending on your relationship with the bride, you may also choose to surprise her with a small gift.

Post-Wedding Gifts

Although most of your duties and gift-giving will occur before and during the wedding, there are still some opportunities to give gifts after the couple ties the knot. You could offer to help take leftover items back to the hotel or return rentals to vendors. Creating a digital collection of photos and videos taken by the wedding party is also a thoughtful gesture while the couple awaits their official photos.

Remember, it is essential to have honest conversations about your responsibilities and financial means from the beginning. Communicate if you are unable to handle certain expectations or expenses.

Frequently asked questions