Bridesmaids' Duties: Supporting The Bride On Her Big Day

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibilities. From providing emotional support to the bride and helping with wedding planning, to being present and available on the wedding day, a bridesmaid has a long list of duties to fulfil. While the specific tasks may vary depending on the couple and their approach to wedding planning, there are some traditional jobs that are commonly expected of bridesmaids. These include planning and attending pre-wedding parties, such as the hen party or bridal shower, offering financial support, providing practical help and ensuring the bride is well taken care of on her special day. Ultimately, a great bridesmaid is supportive, proactive, positive and always willing to lend a helping hand.

Emotional support

Bridesmaids are the bride's emotional rock, and they should be available and present throughout the entire planning process. This might include lending support at dress appointments, helping the bride choose her attire, and picking out flowers. Bridesmaids should also be prepared to lend an ear if the bride needs to vent about any wedding-related stress.

On the wedding day, bridesmaids should ensure the bride feels calm and celebrated. This could mean making sure she eats and stays hydrated, answering any incoming texts or calls, and keeping her smiling and laughing. Bridesmaids should also be prepared to help the bride with her dress, shoes, jewellery, and veil.

In the days leading up to the wedding, bridesmaids can check in with the maid of honour to see if there are any additional tasks they can help with. They can also assist with any last-minute wedding preparations, such as setting up the venue or the wedding suite.

Bridesmaids should also be prepared to provide emotional support to the bride and groom's family members throughout the wedding day. This might include making sure the bride's grandmother is comfortable or keeping an eye on the groom's newly divorced cousin.

Overall, being emotionally supportive is a crucial aspect of a bridesmaid's role, and it's important to be proactive, positive, and flexible in providing this support.

Planning and paying for pre-wedding events

Planning

Planning the bridal shower and the bachelorette party usually falls to the maid of honour, but bridesmaids are expected to lend a hand. This might include helping to secure travel plans, accommodations, activities, and transportation, as well as dividing the costs so that the bride's expenses are covered.

Paying

Bridesmaids should be prepared to pay for their bridesmaid dress, jewellery, and shoes. It is customary to give a gift to the couple, such as an item from the registry or a spa day. If other bridesmaids want to chip in, it is a great idea to pool resources on a larger gift.

Other pre-wedding events

Bridesmaids are expected to attend all pre-wedding events, including the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. They may also be asked to help set up the venue the day before the wedding.

Emotional support

Bridesmaids should also provide emotional support to the bride in the lead-up to the wedding. This includes checking in with the bride throughout the planning process and asking what she needs.

Wedding day assistance

On the wedding day, bridesmaids are expected to help ensure everything goes smoothly for the bride, the maid of honour, and most of the wedding guests. Here are some ways to do this:

Get Ready With the Bride

Bridesmaids should plan to arrive at the designated location on time and with all their gear. Aside from getting themselves ready, bridesmaids should do whatever they can to assist the bride, such as:

• Keeping her smiling, laughing, calm, and collected
• Answering any incoming texts, calls, or logistical questions for her
• Making sure she eats something and stays hydrated
• Pouring celebratory bubbly for everyone to enjoy
• Keeping hair and/or makeup appointments on track
• Helping her into her dress
• Assisting her with her shoes, jewellery, or veil

Assist the Maid of Honour

Bridesmaids should serve as the maid of honour's right-hand ladies, helping out with whatever tasks are needed. This could include making a last-minute run to the pharmacy, coordinating with the photographer or wedding planner, or providing (and keeping track of) a wedding day emergency kit.

Provide Getting-Ready Snacks

If no other arrangements have been made, bridesmaids should take it upon themselves to provide sips and snacks for the bride and her mother, as well as the photographer and beauty stylists.

Be the "Bride Tribe"

Bridesmaids should embody the concept of being the bride's support crew and be a point of contact for guests and vendors when it's helpful. Some tasks include:

• Double-checking that all members of the wedding party and any special family members have their personal flowers
• Helping guests navigate the venue, such as directing them to parking areas, bathrooms, handicap access, exits, and the bar or refreshment station
• Standing near the gift table, guest book, or wedding favours to facilitate guests' participation

Participate in the Ceremony

Bridesmaids should be in place at the ceremony venue on time, likely hidden out of sight, and ready for their cues to walk down the aisle. During the ceremony, they should hit their rehearsed marks, fulfil any other roles they've been assigned, and then exit according to the plan.

Be Model Guests (and the Life of the Party)

Bridesmaids should mingle and chat with other guests, enjoy the food and drinks offered, sit down at their dinner table when asked, and participate in guest-related activities like signing the guest book or visiting the photo booth. They should also be the first on the dance floor and keep the party going all night long.

Maintain a Stress-Free Send-Off

Bridesmaids should help the maid of honour, coordinator, or the couple's parents assemble any items that need to be transported out of the reception venue at the end of the night. These could include getting-ready clothing or gear, decor or signage, the bride and/or bridesmaids' bouquets, wedding cards and gifts, and the bride and/or groom's wedding attire if they've changed.

Bridesmaids can also lend a hand with final logistical tasks, such as making sure all guests make it safely out of the venue, handing out pre-addressed tip envelopes to vendors, and making sure the bride and/or groom's overnight bags make it to their wedding night hotel room.

Post-wedding tasks

While the majority of a bridesmaid's work is done before and during the wedding, there are still some tasks to be done after the couple ties the knot. Here are some post-wedding duties for bridesmaids:

Attend the Farewell Party

If the couple is hosting a farewell party or post-wedding brunch the morning after the wedding, it is expected that you attend as a bridesmaid. Make sure you know exactly when you need to be there, and don't be late! It's a good idea to set your alarm the day before and drink water throughout the wedding reception to avoid a hangover. You could also text the newlyweds to see if they need anything, like extra-large coffees delivered to their room.

Organise Miscellaneous or Leftover Items

If you helped take down decorations at the end of the wedding, or collected the couple's wedding gifts and cards during the reception, it's important to organise these items a few days after the wedding so nothing gets forgotten or misplaced.

Return Hired Clothing and Accessories

You may be asked to help return any hired clothing or accessories, as well as taking bridesmaid dresses and the couple's outfits to be dry-cleaned the next morning. Round up the other bridesmaids and tackle this task together.

Settle Outstanding Payments

Don't wait too long after the wedding to settle any remaining expenses that need to be split among the group. Send your Venmo requests sooner rather than later so you don't catch anyone by surprise.

Create a Digital Collection of Photos and Videos

Create a digital collection of any photos and videos taken by the wedding party while the couple waits for their official photos, which can take several weeks to receive.

Paying for bridesmaid attire

While it is considered traditional for the couple to pay for wedding party outfits, this is not always the case. Bridesmaids are usually expected to pay for their own attire, including their dress, jewellery, and shoes. However, if the bride chooses an expensive dress, it is a thoughtful gesture for her to pay for the dress or a portion of the cost for each bridesmaid.

The cost of a bridesmaid dress can range from $100 to upwards of $800, so it is essential that brides are mindful of their bridesmaids' budgets when choosing wedding-day ensembles. It is also important to consider the various other expenses that bridesmaids will incur, such as hair and makeup, transportation, and gifts.

If a bridesmaid is unable to afford the dress, the couple should consider helping to cover the cost and working it into their wedding budget. Alternatively, the bride could choose a different, more affordable dress, or allow for mismatched bridesmaid dresses, where each bridesmaid can choose a dress within their budget.

To avoid any financial strain, it is crucial to have open and transparent conversations about money. Bridesmaids should be honest about their budgets, and the bride should communicate all financial expectations from the outset.

Frequently asked questions