Bridesmaids are members of the bride's party at some traditional Western wedding ceremonies. They are usually the bride's closest friends or family members, and their main role is to support the bride and Maid of Honour with their wedding planning duties. Bridesmaids are expected to plan and attend pre-wedding parties, help with aspects of the wedding planning, and be present and available to the bride on the wedding day. They are also responsible for their own travel and accommodation expenses, as well as purchasing their own wedding attire and accessories.
What You'll Learn
Emotional support
Planning a wedding can be stressful, so it's important for bridesmaids to be there for the bride in moments of tension. Bridesmaids should be available and present, offering help early on and throughout the entire planning process. This could include attending dress appointments and helping the bride choose her attire for the wedding and other pre-wedding events.
Bridesmaids should also be emotionally supportive by listening to the bride's concerns. The bride may not be able to complain to her groom without sparking a fight, so it's the bridesmaids' job to listen to her worries and, if the bride seems overwhelmed, suggest taking a break from wedding planning to do something fun together.
On the wedding day, bridesmaids should continue to provide practical and emotional support. They might assist the bride with getting dressed and, if needed, help the bride manage her veil, bouquet, or the train of her dress.
In summary, emotional support is a vital part of a bridesmaid's role, and it's important for bridesmaids to be available, positive, and proactive in providing this support throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself.
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Planning and paying for pre-wedding events
Bridesmaids are usually expected to help plan and pay for the bridal shower and bachelorette party. The maid of honour usually takes the lead on these, but bridesmaids are expected to contribute ideas, give feedback, help decorate, chip in with costs, and assist with hosting duties.
Bridesmaids are also expected to attend the engagement party, rehearsal dinner, and other pre-wedding events. They may also be asked to help with addressing, sealing, and stamping thank-you cards, as well as keeping a record of gifts so the bride knows who to thank for what.
The bridesmaids' luncheon is a small gathering hosted by the bride to thank the bridal party for their help and give them gifts. This is usually held a few days before the wedding.
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Attending pre-wedding events
The maid of honour will usually take the lead on planning these events, but bridesmaids are expected to support her efforts. This may include helping to plan, decorate, and pay for the bridal shower and bachelorette party. It's also customary to give a gift at the bridal shower, and it's acceptable for bridesmaids to chip in for a group gift.
Bridesmaids are also expected to attend the rehearsal dinner, and they may be asked to give a toast. This is also an opportunity to connect with the wedding planner and understand your role with them.
If the wedding is not local, bridesmaids should book any necessary travel and accommodations as soon as they have the finalised wedding date.
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Practical support on the wedding day
On the wedding day, the bridesmaids' main role is to provide practical and emotional support to the bride. Here are some ways in which bridesmaids can offer practical support:
- Help the bride get ready: This includes checking her hair, veil, accessories, and ensuring she has everything she needs.
- Keep track of the wedding day timeline: Knowing the schedule will help you ensure the day runs smoothly and that the bride is where she needs to be.
- Participate in the wedding ceremony: This includes walking down the aisle, standing at the altar, and assisting the bride with her veil, bouquet, or train if needed.
- Be available for wedding photos: The photographer will take pictures throughout the day, so it's important that bridesmaids are available for group portraits.
- Check in with the bride: Ensure she is staying hydrated and has something to eat, especially if she is busy talking to guests or taking photos.
- Assist with the bride's dress: If the bride's dress is a ball gown or similar style, she may need help with her dress in the restroom or with bustling it during the reception. If she is changing outfits, she may also need assistance.
- Connect with the wedding planner: It's important to know who the wedding planner is and to cooperate with them to ensure the day runs smoothly.
- Greet guests: Bridesmaids may be asked to greet guests before the ceremony and guide them to their seats.
- Keep the bride's essentials: Help keep track of the bride's essentials, such as her phone, touch-up lipstick, and blotting papers.
- Assist with gifts and decorations: Bridesmaids may be tasked with organising wedding gifts and keeping them safe, as well as assisting with decorating at events.
- Stay until the end of the reception: Bridesmaids should stay until the end of the reception to help with packing gifts, gathering centrepieces, and other tasks.
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Post-wedding tasks
The wedding is over, but a bridesmaid's duties are not yet done. Here are some post-wedding tasks that bridesmaids are expected to do:
- Attend the farewell party or post-wedding brunch: It is expected that you attend as a bridesmaid, so be sure to know the exact time and place and be punctual. It is also a thoughtful gesture to text the newlyweds to see if they need anything, like extra-large coffees delivered to their room.
- Organise miscellaneous or leftover wedding items: If you helped take down decorations, collected gifts and cards, or have any other miscellaneous items, it is important to organise and return them to the newlyweds or other bridesmaids within a few days after the wedding.
- Settle outstanding payments: Don't delay settling any remaining expenses that need to be split among the group. Send your payment requests as soon as possible to avoid surprising anyone with unexpected costs.
- Help with post-wedding tasks: After the wedding, the wedding party often assists with various tasks, such as gathering personal items, transporting gifts, and participating in post-wedding events like a next-day brunch. Offer to help take leftover items back to the hotel or return any rentals to the vendor.
- Create a digital collection of photos and videos: Compile any photos and videos taken by the wedding party and share them with the couple while they wait for their official wedding photos, which can take several weeks to receive.
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Frequently asked questions
The main role of a bridesmaid is to support the bride and assist the Maid of Honour with her wedding planning duties. Bridesmaids are typically some of the bride's closest friends and/or family members.
Some of the key bridesmaid duties include:
- Helping to plan and pay for the bridal shower and bachelorette party
- Attending pre-wedding events, such as the engagement party, wedding shower, and rehearsal dinner
- Emotionally supporting the bride throughout the wedding planning process and on the wedding day
- Running errands and helping with decorations
- Keeping a record of gifts and assisting with thank-you cards
- Helping the bride get ready on the morning of the wedding
- Coordinating communications with vendors and guests
- Organising wedding gifts and attending to wedding guests
- Staying until the end of the reception to help with packing gifts, gathering centrepieces, etc.
Bridesmaids are generally expected to pay for their own dresses, accessories, and transportation/accommodation for the wedding. They may also be expected to contribute financially to pre-wedding events such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party, as well as chipping in for a group gift for the bride.