Bridesmaid Duties: What You Need To Know

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it also comes with a long list of responsibilities. From providing emotional support to the bride to planning pre-wedding parties, a bridesmaid has a lot on her plate. The role of a bridesmaid is to be there for the bride, from helping her with her wedding dress to calming her down when things get stressful. It's also important to be present and available to the bride during the wedding weekend, and to be a positive and proactive member of the bridal party. While the specifics may vary depending on cultural differences, the role of a bridesmaid is generally to support the bride and ensure her dream wedding becomes a reality.

Planning and paying for pre-wedding events

Bridal Shower or Wedding Shower

The bridal shower is usually the responsibility of the maid of honour, but bridesmaids are expected to help plan and pay for the event. This includes chipping in for food, decor, and activities. The bridal shower is typically held one to three months before the wedding and can be hosted by the bride's mother, an aunt, or a family friend. It involves games, food, and gifts, and it's customary to give a separate gift for the bridal shower and the wedding itself.

Bachelorette Party

Bridesmaids typically plan and pay for the bachelorette party, covering their expenses and often chipping in to cover the bride's costs as well. This might include travel, accommodation, activities, and transportation. It's important to discuss the budget with the entire group to avoid surprises and ensure everyone is on the same page. The bachelorette party usually takes place about one to four months before the wedding.

Engagement Party

Although not mandatory, engagement parties are often held one to three months after the engagement. They are usually hosted by the bride's parents, but any relative or friend of the couple may host. It is proper etiquette to have an engagement party for the family first, followed by another for friends.

Rehearsal Dinner

The rehearsal dinner is typically hosted by the groom's parents, but this can vary. It is usually held the night before the wedding, but some couples opt for two nights before to give everyone time to rest before the big day. Bridesmaids are expected to attend the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner.

Bridal Brunch/Bridesmaids Luncheon

The bridal brunch or bridesmaids luncheon is hosted a few days before the wedding by the bride to thank the women who have helped with the wedding planning. Mothers, in-laws, or other female relatives can also host or co-host this event.

Welcome Party

The welcome party is the final event before the wedding and is open to all wedding guests, although attendance is not mandatory. It is a casual gathering for friends and family, especially those travelling from out of town, to mingle and get to know each other.

Emotional support

As a bridesmaid, you may be called upon to help the bride with dress appointments and offer support in choosing her attire for the wedding and other events. You can also lend an ear when the bride needs to vent or is feeling stressed. Being emotionally supportive also means staying positive and solving problems as they arise, ensuring the bride feels cherished.

On the wedding day, bridesmaids should continue to provide emotional support by helping to calm the bride's nerves, keeping her smiling and laughing, and ensuring she stays hydrated and well-fed. They may also need to assist with last-minute touches, such as fixing her hair, veil, or jewellery, and making sure she doesn't forget any accessories.

Throughout the entire process, from planning to the big day itself, bridesmaids act as the bride's emotional rock, providing a listening ear, a supportive presence, and helping to manage any stress or tension that may arise.

Help with wedding planning

Being a bridesmaid is an honour and a big responsibility. It's important to remember that each bride is different and may have distinct expectations, but there are some standard duties that bridesmaids are expected to perform in the months and weeks leading up to the wedding.

• Emotional Support: Bridesmaids should be the bride's emotional rock throughout the entire process. Check in with her, ask what she needs, and provide thoughtful and sensitive support.
• Pre-Wedding Events: Planning and attending pre-wedding events such as the bridal shower, bachelorette party, engagement party, and rehearsal dinner. The maid of honour usually takes the lead, but bridesmaids should lend a hand wherever possible, including chipping in financially.
• Wedding Attire: Bridesmaids are expected to shop for and pay for their own attire, including dresses, shoes, jewellery, and undergarments. They should also attend all fittings and be mindful of the bride's wishes and sensitivities when it comes to dress selection.
• Travel and Accommodations: Bridesmaids are responsible for booking their own transportation and accommodations for the wedding and related events. It is recommended to do this early to ensure convenience and smooth logistics.
• Vendor Selection: Bridesmaids may be asked to join the bride in appointments with vendors such as dress shops, florists, hair and makeup artists, and caterers. It's important to stay positive and provide constructive feedback only when requested.
• Wedding DIY: Bridesmaids can lend a hand with wedding DIY projects, such as creating favours, place cards, or decorations for various events.
• Record-Keeping: Keeping a record of gifts received at events like the bridal shower ensures the bride knows who to thank. Bridesmaids can also assist with addressing, sealing, and stamping thank-you cards.
• Errands: Running necessary errands during the planning process and on the wedding day itself, such as picking up items, making last-minute purchases, or coordinating with vendors and guests.

Remember, open and honest communication is key. Discuss expectations and responsibilities early on, and don't be afraid to speak up if something is beyond your means or comfort level. Being a bridesmaid is about supporting the bride and ensuring her dream wedding becomes a reality.

Paying for bridesmaid attire

Bridesmaids are typically expected to pay for their own attire, including dresses, accessories, shoes, and jewellery. The cost of these items can vary widely, ranging from $100 to upwards of $800, so it is important for bridesmaids to be mindful of their budget when selecting their attire. If the bride chooses a dress that is outside of a bridesmaid's budget, it is common to communicate this and discuss other options or alternatives.

In some cases, the bride may offer to pay for a portion of the cost of the bridesmaid dresses, especially if they are more expensive. This is a thoughtful gesture and can help alleviate some of the financial burden on the bridesmaids. Additionally, there may be options for payment plans or alternative, more affordable options within a similar style.

It is important to note that bridesmaids may also be expected to cover other expenses related to their attire, such as alterations or specific undergarments required for the dress. These additional costs can add up, so it is crucial for bridesmaids to be aware of all potential expenses and plan their budget accordingly.

While paying for bridesmaid attire can be a significant expense, there are ways to save money. For example, bridesmaids can look for sales or discounts, shop second-hand, or borrow items they may only need for the wedding, like jewellery. Communicating openly with the bride and other bridesmaids about financial constraints is essential to ensuring a stress-free and enjoyable experience for all.

Attending the rehearsal and dinner

The Rehearsal

The wedding rehearsal is a crucial event for the bridal party to attend, as it allows everyone to familiarise themselves with the ceremony's flow and their respective roles. As a bridesmaid, it's essential to be present and actively participate in the rehearsal to ensure that the actual wedding day runs smoothly. Here are some specific duties and considerations for the rehearsal:

• Know Your Cues: Understand when you're supposed to walk down the aisle and where to stand during the ceremony. This knowledge will help you guide other guests if needed.
• Stay Informed: Obtain a copy of the wedding timeline and familiarise yourself with the key moments, such as the processional order and ceremony details. This awareness will enable you to better assist the bride and other members of the wedding party.
• Support the Bride: The rehearsal can be a stressful time for the bride. As a bridesmaid, offer emotional support and help diffuse any pre-wedding jitters or tensions she may be experiencing.
• Be a Point of Contact: Introduce yourself to key people, such as the photographer, videographer, or florist, and let them know that you're available to help or answer any questions they may have.
• Attire Coordination: Discuss attire choices with the bride and other bridesmaids ahead of time. This ensures that your outfits complement each other and fit the theme and formality of the event.
• Stay Organised: Help with any last-minute tasks, such as confirming transportation arrangements, setting up decorations, or creating an emergency kit for the wedding day.

The Rehearsal Dinner

The rehearsal dinner is a fun and relaxed event where you can socialise with the bride's close friends and family. Here are some tips to make the most of this special gathering:

• Attire: Choose an appropriate outfit for the rehearsal dinner. Unless the bride has specific plans, such as coordinating outfits, consider the venue, weather, and event formality when deciding what to wear. Opt for cocktail attire or a semi-formal look, avoiding anything too revealing or attention-grabbing.
• Be Punctual: Arrive on time for the rehearsal dinner, as it's an important part of the wedding festivities. This event usually takes place the night before the wedding, so don't stay out too late, ensuring you're well-rested for the big day ahead.
• Socialise: Use this opportunity to get to know the bride's loved ones better. Mingle with the guests, including the bride's family and friends, and savour the delicious food and festive atmosphere.
• Listen to Speeches: During the rehearsal dinner, parents or other family members often give speeches. Be an engaged listener and enjoy the heartfelt words shared during this special occasion.
• Offer a Toast: If appropriate, you may be asked to give a toast at the rehearsal dinner. Prepare a few heartfelt words to honour the bride and celebrate this memorable occasion.
• Support the Bride: Continue to provide emotional support to the bride during the rehearsal dinner. Check in with her, ensure she's enjoying herself, and help manage any last-minute nerves or concerns she may have.

Frequently asked questions