Planning a wedding ceremony can be a tricky affair, especially when it comes to deciding the order of bridesmaids and groomsmen. While there is no right answer, the order can depend on the preferences of the couple, their relationship with the bridal party, and the aesthetic appeal. Here are some common factors to consider when deciding on the order of your bridal party.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Number of bridesmaids and groomsmen | There is no set number, but four is the most common amount. |
Order of bridesmaids and groomsmen | By height, by closeness of relationship, by length of relationship, by age, by alphabetical order, or by personality. |
Inclusion | Include siblings and close family members, and consider the future of your relationship with potential bridesmaids and groomsmen. |
Budget | Being a bridesmaid or groomsman is expensive, so be mindful of your friends' financial situations. |
Reliability | Choose bridesmaids and groomsmen who are reliable, responsible, and trustworthy. |
Personality | Consider how the bridesmaids and groomsmen will get along with each other, and how they will get along with you. |
What You'll Learn
By height, with the shortest closest to the altar
Line up your bridesmaids and groomsmen by height, with the shortest closest to the altar and the tallest the farthest away. This is the easiest option, as it avoids any and all hurt feelings. As a bonus, this lineup is the most aesthetically pleasing, so if you’re worried about how it will look in photos, this one is for you.
The exceptions to height order are your maid of honour and best man, who should stand directly next to each of you, no matter how tall they are. The shortest couple walks down the aisle first and the tallest twosome goes last. It works aesthetically, making your photos look balanced.
If you're a stickler for optics, this might be the best option for you because it always looks good. Major bonus points: You'll avoid any and all hurt feelings this way, since height's completely arbitrary.
If you're deciding how to send your bridesmaids and groomsmen down the aisle, this is a good option. It's also a good way to pair up your crew for the processional and recessional, reception entrance, and wedding photos.
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By how close you are to each person
Deciding on the order of bridesmaids and groomsmen based on how close you are to each person can be tricky and may result in hurt feelings. However, it is a valid option and can be done in a thoughtful way. Here are some tips to help you decide on the order:
Start with the maid of honour and best man: Typically, the maid of honour and best man, who are usually the closest friends or siblings of the bride and groom, will stand closest to the couple. They are considered the honour attendants and are often given a special role in the wedding.
Consider family members: If you have siblings or siblings-in-law, they can be included right after the maid of honour and best man. This is a thoughtful way to include family members and avoid any potential hurt feelings.
Rank your remaining attendants: After the family members, you can rank your remaining bridesmaids and groomsmen based on how close you are to them. This may include best friends, cousins, or other close friends. Be mindful that the person standing at the end may feel slighted, so consider swapping the order around to ensure everyone feels valued.
Be mindful of potential hurt feelings: While ranking your attendants by closeness can be meaningful, it is important to tread lightly. Communicate with your wedding party and be sensitive to their feelings. If you are concerned about causing hurt feelings, consider using another criterion, such as height or length of friendship, in conjunction with closeness to determine the order.
Discuss with your wedding party: If you are unsure about the order or want to avoid any potential issues, it is a good idea to communicate openly with your bridesmaids and groomsmen. Ask them about their preferences and work together to find an arrangement that feels right for everyone.
Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to deciding on the order of your wedding party. The most important thing is to choose an arrangement that feels right for you and your relationship with each person. Be thoughtful, sensitive, and flexible, and don't be afraid to get creative to ensure everyone feels valued and included.
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By how long you've known each other
Deciding how to order your bridesmaids and groomsmen can be a tricky part of wedding planning. One option is to organise your bridal party by how long you've known each other, which can be a diplomatic way to arrange your friends without hurting anyone's feelings. This method is based on pure facts, as the date you met someone can't be negotiated!
This approach works best if each of your bridesmaids and groomsmen is from a different stage of your life, such as elementary school, high school, college, or work. However, it may not be as effective if you met all of your bridesmaids or groomsmen in the same year. In this case, you could consider pairing them by the length of friendship instead, with the bridesmaid or groomsman you've known the longest walking closest to you.
If you're concerned about aesthetics, you could also consider height when pairing your bridesmaids and groomsmen. For example, you could pair the tallest bridesmaid with the tallest groomsman, and the shortest couple walks down the aisle first, with the tallest pair going last. This approach not only looks good in photos but can also be a convenient way to pair up your bridal party.
If you want to avoid any potential hurt feelings, you could also consider arranging your bridal party by height, with the shortest closest to the altar and the tallest farthest away. This is a common approach and is often considered the easiest option. However, it's important to note that the maid of honour and best man should stand directly next to the bride and groom, regardless of their height.
Ultimately, there is no right or wrong way to order your bridesmaids and groomsmen. You can choose the option that best fits your bridal party and personal preferences.
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By age, with the oldest closest to you
If you want to decide the order of bridesmaids and groomsmen by age, with the oldest closest to you, this is a good option as it is a straightforward and objective way to organise your wedding party. It is also a diplomatic choice, as it is based on pure facts – age is something that cannot be negotiated! This option also avoids any and all hurt feelings, as it doesn't give the impression that you are playing favourites or indicating that certain people are more or less important to you.
However, it is worth noting that this approach may only work if your bridesmaids and groomsmen are of different ages. If they are all a similar age, or from the same generation, this option may not be feasible. In this case, you could consider pairing them by age group instead, or by how long you have known each person.
When it comes to the maid of honour or best man, they should stand directly next to the bride or groom, regardless of their age. This is considered the place of honour and is reserved for the most important members of the wedding party.
If you are worried about how photographs will look, you may want to consider arranging your wedding party by height instead. This is another objective way to organise your bridesmaids and groomsmen, and it will ensure that your photos are balanced.
Remember, there is no right or wrong way to order your bridesmaids and groomsmen – it is entirely up to you and your partner!
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By personality
When deciding how to pair and introduce your bridesmaids and groomsmen, one option is to pair them by personality. This can be a good way to ensure that everyone feels comfortable and that the group gels well together.
Firstly, consider the personalities of the individuals in your bridal party. You may want to pair an extroverted bridesmaid with an outgoing groomsman, for example. Think about who will get along well and complement each other's personalities. If you have a large bridal party, it might be a good idea to pair shy individuals with more outgoing people who will help them feel comfortable.
You can also consider the relationships between the bridesmaids and groomsmen. If some of them are already couples or friends, it might be best to let them pair up and hang together. This way, you can avoid any potential drama or friction between people who might not get along.
Another factor to consider is the role and responsibility of each person in your bridal party. The maid of honour and best man, for instance, typically have important tasks such as holding the rings and providing emotional support. Choose people for these roles whom you trust and who will be reliable in handling these responsibilities.
While pairing by personality can be a great way to create a cohesive bridal party, it's important to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Ultimately, the decision on pairing and introducing your bridesmaids and groomsmen should be based on what feels right for you and your partner.
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Frequently asked questions
Four is the most common number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, but you can have as many or as few as you like.
No, you do not need to have an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen. You can pair one groomsman with two bridesmaids, or vice versa.
There are several ways to pair up your bridesmaids and groomsmen. You can pair them by height, with the shortest couple walking down the aisle first and the tallest couple going last. You can also pair them by their relationship with the couple, with the longest friendships or closest relationships going first. Another option is to pair them by personality, matching people who are likely to get along.
If you have a large group of friends and don't want to leave anyone out, consider giving them other roles such as ushers, ceremony readers, or processional escorts.
It's important to remember that you don't have to include anyone you don't want to in your wedding party. If you feel that including a particular person would cause unnecessary drama or stress, it's best to reconsider their involvement.