The Art Of Addressing Wedding Invitations: To Name Or Not?

Wedding invitations are a chance to make a memorable first impression on your guests. But with so many rules of etiquette to follow, the task of addressing envelopes can be daunting. Here's a guide to help you navigate the process and ensure your invitations are both accurate and respectful.

The Outer Envelope

The outer envelope is what your mail courier will see and includes your guest's physical address. It is standard to use titles and full names on the outer envelope, with the guest's name(s) on the first line and their address on the second. For married couples with the same last name, you can use Mr. and Mrs. followed by the husband's full name, or write out both first names individually for a less traditional approach. Same-sex couples can be addressed in the same way, with titles adjusted accordingly. For married couples with different last names, write out both full names, with titles, on the same line. Again, either name can come first.

The Inner Envelope

The inner envelope contains the invitation suite and is optional. It typically includes titles and last names only. This is your opportunity to clarify who exactly is invited, including any plus-ones. If you are inviting a couple, both names should be printed. For unmarried couples living together, it is customary to write their names on separate lines, in alphabetical order. For unmarried couples living apart, it is standard to send separate invitations.

Other Considerations

When addressing guests with professional titles, such as doctors, judges, or military personnel, be sure to include these in the invitation. For couples where one or both partners hold distinguished titles, the person with the higher title is usually listed first, regardless of gender. When inviting families, you can address the envelope to The [Family Name] or list the parents' names followed by and Family. Children over 18 should receive their own invitation, while younger children can be listed underneath their parents' names on the inner envelope.

Married Couple, Same Last Name

When addressing wedding invitations to a married couple with the same last name, there are a few conventions to follow. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles and spell out names in full. For a heterosexual couple, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's First Name] [Shared Last Name]". For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". If the couple is same-sex, either name can go first.

The inner envelope is more informal, and you have a few options for how to address it. You can use "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's first name and the shared last name, or you can use both spouses' first names followed by the shared last name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle".

It is worth noting that some modern women may not appreciate having their name left out or being referred to only by their husband's name. In this case, you can address the outer envelope as "Mr. [Husband's First Name] [Shared Last Name] and Mrs. [Wife's First Name] [Shared Last Name]". The inner envelope can then be addressed as "Mr. [Husband's First Name] and Mrs. [Wife's First Name]" or use their first names.

When addressing a married couple, it is also important to remember to acknowledge the wife's first name, especially if she has chosen to keep her maiden name. It is always best to ask the couple beforehand if you are unsure about how they would like to be addressed to avoid any potential misunderstandings or offence.

Married Couple, Different Last Names

When addressing wedding invitations to a married couple with different last names, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to avoid assuming that the wife has changed her name to her husband's. It is always best to ask the couple beforehand to avoid any misunderstandings or incorrect assumptions.

For a heterosexual couple with different last names, the outer envelope can be addressed as follows:

> Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez

If the couple's names are too long and do not fit on one line, it is acceptable to list their names separately. On the inner envelope, a more informal approach can be taken:

> Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez

Or

> Maria and David

When addressing a married couple with different last names, it is generally recommended to list their names on the same line. However, if the names are long and do not fit well on one line, it is acceptable to put each name on a separate line. Alphabetical order is usually followed, regardless of gender.

It is also important to use appropriate titles when addressing the couple. Using "Mr." for men and "Ms." for women is a safe option. However, it is always a good idea to double-check the preferred titles of the guests beforehand, as some may have different preferences or identify with different titles.

Unmarried Couple

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, if the couple lives together, it is customary to include both guests' full names – first and last – on the outer envelope, even if you haven't met the other person. It is considered impolite to refer to them as "and guest". If you are unable to learn the other person's name, it is acceptable to write "and guest" on the invitation.

If the couple does not live together, it is more common to send a wedding invitation to each person. However, it has become more acceptable to send one invitation to the primary invited guest, with the other person's name included on the inner envelope.

When writing the names of an unmarried couple on the outer envelope, it is customary to write their names on two separate lines. For example:

Mr. Aaron Triguiero

Mr. Gabriel Reyes

On the inner envelope, you can simply write:

Mr. Triguiero

Mr. Reyes

If the couple has the same last name, you can write their names on the same line, for example:

Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee

On the inner envelope, you can use their first names:

Stanley and Amanda

It is worth noting that wedding invitation etiquette is constantly evolving, and ultimately, it is your wedding, so you get to make the rules!

Single Guest Plus Date

When addressing a single guest plus date, it is best to mention both people by name, if you have that information. If you are unsure of the name of the plus-one, you can simply write "[Guest's Name] and Guest" on the inner envelope.

On the outer envelope:

Mr./Ms./Mx. [Guest's Full Name]

On the inner envelope:

[Guest's Full Name] and Guest

If you are using only one envelope, be sure to list the name of the guest and their plus-one. If you are allowing a casual date, you can write the guest's name followed by "and Guest".

It is important to note that including the plus-one on the invitation envelope is a way to notify your guest about whether they can bring someone. By including the plus-one's name or "and Guest", you are indicating that they are invited to bring a date.

Married Couple and Their Children

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple and their children, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to use the full, formal names of the guests, including titles such as "Mr.", "Mrs.", "Miss", or "Ms.". For girls under 18, you can use "Miss" if you wish, while boys don't need a title until they are 16, when they can be addressed as "Mr.".

If the children are under 18, their names should be listed underneath their parents' names on the inner envelope, with the outer envelope reserved for the parents' names only. If any of the children are over 18, they should receive their own invitation.

Outer envelope: "The [Last Name] Family" or "Mr. and Mrs. [Father's Name] [Last Name]"

Inner envelope: "[Father's Name], [Mother's Name], [Child 1's Name], [Child 2's Name], Miss [Daughter's Name], and Miss [Daughter's Name]"

If any of the children are over 18, you would address them separately, either on the same inner envelope or with their own invitation:

Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. [Father's Name] [Last Name]"

Inner envelope: "[Father's Name], [Mother's Name], [Child 1's Name], [Child 2's Name], Miss [Daughter's Name], Miss [Older Daughter's Name], and Mr. [Older Son's Name]"

Alternatively, you could address the outer envelope to the whole family and list the children over 18 separately on the inner envelope:

Outer envelope: "The [Last Name] Family"

Inner envelope: "[Father's Name], [Mother's Name], [Child 1's Name], [Child 2's Name], Miss [Daughter's Name], Miss [Older Daughter's Name], and Mr. [Older Son's Name]"

If you are using only one envelope, be sure to list every guest's name, including children, and include "and Family" or the children's names if they are invited.

Frequently asked questions