Matching Thank-You Cards: Wedding Invitation Etiquette

Wedding thank-you cards are an important way to express gratitude to your guests for their attendance and gifts. While it's not necessary for the thank-you cards to match the wedding invitations, it's a nice touch to order customised stationery in the same style, complete with a matching motif, monogram, or logo. If that's not possible, it's still a good idea to choose thank-you cards that follow the theme, colour, or style of the wedding.

Handwritten vs. Printed

There are differing opinions on whether wedding thank-you cards should be handwritten or printed. Some people believe that handwritten notes are more personal and thoughtful, while others think that printed cards can be just as meaningful if they include a personalised message. Ultimately, the decision comes down to personal preference and what you think your guests would appreciate most.

Those who advocate for handwritten notes argue that they show that you took the time and effort to personally thank each guest. It can be a meaningful way to express your gratitude and make your guests feel valued. However, handwriting notes for every guest can be time-consuming, especially if you have a large number of guests. In this case, you could consider dividing the task with your partner or enlisting the help of family members to address envelopes or check names off the list.

On the other hand, printed thank-you cards can be a convenient and efficient option, especially if you have limited time or prefer a more streamlined approach. Printed cards can still be personalised by including a handwritten message, addressing each guest by name, or customising the card design to match your wedding theme. This hybrid approach combines the benefits of efficiency and personalisation.

It is worth noting that, according to traditional etiquette, handwritten notes are generally considered more appropriate. However, modern digital communication has also made printed or digital thank-you cards acceptable, especially if that aligns better with how you typically communicate with the recipient. For example, if you frequently communicate with a guest via email, they may appreciate a digital thank-you note.

Regardless of whether you choose handwritten or printed cards, there are a few key considerations to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to send your thank-you cards in a timely manner, ideally within one to three months after your wedding. Secondly, ensure that you mention the specific gift received and how you plan to use it. Lastly, don't forget to express your gratitude and mention how much you appreciated the guest's presence at your wedding.

Timing

While it's considered good etiquette to send wedding thank-you cards within two weeks of receiving a gift before your wedding, it's recommended to send wedding thank-you cards within three months of your wedding date. This is a respectful and timely manner to express your gratitude. Sending them later than this may cause hurt feelings or resentment, as guests may assume you've forgotten about their gift or presence at your wedding.

If you receive gifts before the wedding, it's a good idea to send thank-you cards as you receive them to lighten your load after the wedding. This also ensures that every guest is thanked promptly.

If you're sending a belated wedding thank-you card, it's best to avoid making excuses for its lateness. Instead, focus your message on how much you appreciate the thoughtfulness of their gift and their presence at your celebration. You can also provide more details about how much you're using and loving the item they gifted you.

It's considered proper etiquette to send a thank-you note to every guest who attends your wedding, even if they don't give a gift. For guests who don't attend your wedding but still send gifts, it's also considered good manners to send them a thank-you card.

Who to Send Them To

It is considered good etiquette to send thank-you cards to all your wedding guests, even those who didn't bring a gift. It is also customary to send cards to those who helped with the wedding, such as vendors, caterers, and the bridal party.

• Close family members, including parents, godparents, and grandparents.
• Vendors, caterers, DJs, florists, and venue coordinators.
• Anyone who sent a gift, whether they attended the wedding or not.
• All wedding guests, even if they didn't bring a gift.
• Hosts and anyone who helped on the day or with the preparation.
• Your bridal party.

It is also a nice gesture to send thank-you cards to guests who travelled a long distance to attend the wedding.

What to Write

Matching thank-you cards to your wedding invitations is a nice touch, but it's not necessary. You can choose to have them printed in the same style as your invitations, complete with a matching motif, monogram, or logo. Alternatively, you can simply choose something that matches the theme, colour, or style of your wedding. What's most important is that you send them at all!

Be Organised

Before you start writing, create a spreadsheet with your guests' names and addresses. You can also add columns to track any gifts each guest gave you, along with any meaningful cards or special moments shared during the reception. This will make it easier to personalise each thank-you card.

Handwrite Your Notes

While it may be tempting to type or email your thank-you notes, a handwritten card is always best. It shows that you've taken the time and effort to personally write a thoughtful message.

Be Timely

It's best to send your thank-you notes as early as one week after the wedding, but definitely try to get them done before your one-month anniversary. For gifts received before the wedding, send thank-you notes within two weeks.

Mention the Gift

Even if you didn't particularly like the gift, it's important to mention it in your thank-you note. This helps to verify that you received the right gift and shows that you're putting effort into your cards. If possible, mention how you plan to use the gift.

Add a Personalised Note

Adding a specific anecdote or memorable moment from your wedding will make your guests feel extra special. It shows that you're grateful for their presence and that you valued their contribution to your special day.

Thank Them for Attending

Not everyone you invite will be able to attend your wedding, so be sure to express your gratitude for your guests' attendance. Thank them for taking the time, effort, and expense to be there.

Sign From Both Parties

Whether you're writing the cards by hand or using a digital template, always sign from both the bride and the groom.

Address Them Properly

Like your wedding invitations, make sure you address your guests properly on the envelopes. Write guests' names in full, including titles, first names, middle names (optional), and last names. Avoid using initials or nicknames, unless you're writing to a close friend or family member.

How to Address the Cards

Matching thank-you cards for wedding invitations are not a requirement, but they are a nice touch. Whether or not you choose matching stationery, there are a few key points to keep in mind when addressing your wedding thank-you cards:

Formality

On the exterior envelope, be sure to address your guests formally, including titles and last names (e.g., Mr., Mrs., Dr.). This level of formality is consistent with the addressing of your wedding invitations. However, when it comes to the interior of the card, you can be less formal and address your guests by their first names, especially if they are close friends or family.

Individual Attention

Reference each individual who attended the wedding or whose names were signed on the gift card. Send individual thank-you notes to each person who contributed to a group gift. This ensures that everyone feels appreciated and valued for their contribution.

Handwritten Addresses

While pre-printed return address labels on the envelope flap are acceptable to save time, it is best to handwrite the guest addresses. This adds a personal touch and makes the recipient feel valued.

Stamps

Avoid using prepaid postage or postage meters. Instead, opt for individual stamps on each envelope to maintain a personal and thoughtful tone.

Signatures

Both the husband and wife should sign their names to show their appreciation. This simple gesture demonstrates that both individuals are invested in expressing their gratitude.

Timing

It is considered proper etiquette to send out thank-you cards promptly after the wedding, ideally within two to three months. This timely expression of gratitude ensures that your guests feel appreciated and that you don't forget anyone.

Frequently asked questions