Best Man's Speech: Discuss Or Surprise?

Being asked to be the best man at your friend's wedding is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of pressure and responsibility. One of the main duties of a best man is to deliver a speech that celebrates the groom (and his wife) while entertaining the guests. Many best men feel the pressure to be funny and often struggle with where to begin, how to read the room, and how to be authentic. It is therefore important to discuss the best man speech with the groom. The groom can provide anecdotes, inside jokes, and other details that can be included in the speech. Additionally, the groom can advise on what topics to avoid, such as sensitive family issues or inside jokes that may fall flat with the audience. Discussing the speech with the groom can help ensure that it is well-received by the couple and the guests, and that it aligns with the tone and theme of the wedding.

Should you discuss content?

When it comes to the content of your best man speech, there are several key elements to include. Firstly, it's important to thank the hosts, usually the bride's and groom's families, for organising the event. You should also express gratitude to the groom for choosing you as his best man and for your friendship. Thank the bride for welcoming you into her and the groom's lives, and thank the guests for attending and celebrating the wedding. Compliment the couple, mentioning how beautiful the bride looks, and wish them happiness and success in their married life.

The ideal way to start your speech is with a captivating introduction. This could be a humorous anecdote, a heartfelt compliment, or an inspiring quote about friendship or marriage. You should also share a short, engaging story about your relationship with the groom, perhaps recounting how you met or a memorable shared experience. Keep it light, fun, and heartfelt, and avoid anything that might embarrass the couple or offend their families.

Share a few light-hearted and appropriate anecdotes about the groom that showcase his character, values, and friendship. Choose stories that highlight his best qualities, such as kindness, loyalty, or a sense of humour. Briefly recount how the couple met and their relationship developed, and discuss why they make a great match and how they complement each other.

If you don't know the couple very well, focus on the groom. You can talk about how happy he is now that the bride is in his life, or make up stories about how he seems lighter and more positive since meeting her. You can also ask the groom to share anecdotes or stories with you that you can include in your speech.

At the end of your speech, it's common to give the groom a bit of advice as he starts this new chapter. This could be a mix of sincere thoughts and light-hearted humour. For example, you could advise him to always remember to tell his wife, "You're right, dear" or to "do everything his wife says".

Finally, conclude your speech with a toast to the couple, wishing them love and happiness. Keep it concise and express your sincere well-wishes for their future.

How to start the speech

There are many ways to start a best man's speech, and it's important to make a good impression from the get-go. Here are some tips to help you get started:

• Introduce yourself: Briefly introduce yourself as the best man. You can add a quick joke here to set the tone and get the audience laughing early on. For example, "I was deeply honoured to be chosen as the best man... until he pointed out that no one else was available for the role!".
• Thank the hosts: It's always polite to thank the hosts of the wedding for putting on a great celebration.
• Thank the guests for attending: Show gratitude towards the guests for taking the time to celebrate with the newlyweds.
• Congratulate the couple: Start by offering your congratulations and well wishes to the happy couple.
• Share a story about the groom: This is your chance to showcase the groom's personality and your friendship. Pick a lighthearted and funny story or memory that showcases his good qualities.
• Address the bride: It's important to acknowledge the bride and share how she has positively impacted the groom's life. Talk about how they are a perfect match and complement each other.
• Keep it brief: Aim for a shorter speech, around 2-5 minutes. You don't want to lose the attention of the audience, and they will appreciate your brevity!
• Be sincere: While humour is important, it's also good to be heartfelt and genuine. Share what the groom means to you and express your happiness for him and his new spouse.
• Connect with the audience: Make eye contact, speak clearly, and use hand gestures. This will help you engage with the audience and ensure your speech is memorable.
• Avoid cliches: Stay away from generic statements, quotes, and overused one-liners. Make your speech unique and personal.

Remember, the best man's speech is all about celebrating the groom, entertaining the guests, and showing your support for the couple. With some preparation and practice, you'll be able to deliver a speech that is both engaging and meaningful.

What to include

So, you've been asked to be the best man at a wedding – congratulations! Now comes the hard part: writing your speech. Here's what to include.

Start with a captivating intro – a humorous anecdote, a heartfelt compliment, or an inspiring quote about friendship or marriage. Thank the people who made the wedding possible, and the groom for choosing you as his best man.

Your Relationship with the Groom

Share a short, engaging story about your relationship with the groom. How did you meet? Is there a memorable shared experience you can recount?

The Couple's Relationship

Briefly talk about how the couple met and how their relationship developed. Why do they make a great match? What does the bride bring out in the groom? Keep it light, fun, and heartfelt.

Advice for the Couple

If you have any words of wisdom for the newlyweds, keep it light and positive. You could offer a mix of sincere thoughts and light-hearted humour.

Closing Remarks

Summarise your speech with a final thought or wish. This could be a personal reflection on love and marriage, or a simple, heartfelt message to the couple. Conclude by raising a toast to the newlyweds, wishing them love, happiness, and success in their married life together.

Top Tips

• Keep it short – 5-7 minutes is the perfect length for a best man's speech.
• Be sincere – speak from the heart.
• Stay appropriate – avoid inside jokes, references to ex-partners, or anything too embarrassing.
• Practice – rehearse your speech several times to ensure smooth delivery.
• Stay calm – it's okay to be nervous! Take deep breaths and remember that everyone wants you to do well.

Good luck!

How to end

So, you've been tasked with writing a best man's speech and you're wondering how to end it. Well, you've come to the right place. Here are some tips and suggestions for wrapping up your speech and leaving a lasting impression on the newlyweds and their guests.

Keep it Short and Sweet

It's important to be mindful of time when delivering your best man's speech. Aim for a length of around 5-7 minutes. This will allow you to share meaningful stories and anecdotes without losing the attention of your audience. A concise and well-delivered speech will make a more significant impact than a long-winded one.

Express Gratitude and Well-Wishes

Begin wrapping up your speech by expressing your gratitude to the newlyweds. Thank them for the honour of being their best man and for welcoming you into their lives. Share your sincere well-wishes for their future together, wishing them happiness, love, and success in their married life. You can also offer a piece of light-hearted advice as they embark on this new chapter.

Raise a Toast

Conclude your speech by raising a heartfelt toast to the couple. Invite the guests to join you in celebrating their love and raising their glasses. This is a traditional way to end a best man's speech and will leave everyone smiling. Remember to practice your toast in advance to ensure it flows smoothly and strikes the right emotional chords.

Final Thoughts

In your final remarks, you can include a personal reflection on love and marriage or a simple, heartfelt message to the couple. Here are some examples to inspire you:

• "Remember, a happy marriage is a matter of give and take. The husband gives, and the wife takes."
• "Always remember to tell your wife those three important little words... 'You're right, dear'."
• "Someone once said that marriage is a 50/50 partnership, but anyone who believes that clearly knows nothing about women or fractions!"

Remember to keep your ending light, positive, and authentic. Rehearse your delivery, take deep breaths, and speak from the heart. Your role is to celebrate your friend's happiness and welcome a new member into your extended family. With these tips, you'll be well on your way to delivering a memorable and impactful best man's speech.

What to avoid

When giving a best man speech, there are several things you should avoid to ensure your speech is well-received and doesn't cause any offence. Here is a list of things to steer clear of:

• Inappropriate jokes: Avoid any jokes that might offend the guests or embarrass the couple. Keep the humour clean and good-natured.
• Negative stories: Refrain from sharing stories that portray the groom or anyone else in a negative light. The speech should focus on the positive aspects of the groom and his relationship.
• Sensitive topics: Stay away from sensitive subjects such as past relationships or family issues. These topics can create an uncomfortable atmosphere and may cause upset.
• Long-windedness: Keep the speech concise and to the point. Aim for around 5-7 minutes to maintain the audience's attention and leave them wanting more.
• Inside jokes: Avoid jokes or references that only a few people will understand. The speech should be inclusive and engaging for all guests.
• Excessive drinking: It's advisable not to drink too much before giving your speech. You want to remain clear-headed and deliver your speech with confidence and clarity.
• Embarrassing anecdotes: While sharing light-hearted and funny stories is encouraged, be mindful not to embarrass the groom or the couple. Choose stories that showcase the groom's best qualities, such as kindness, loyalty, or a good sense of humour.
• Appearance comments: Refrain from making comments about anyone's appearance, especially the bride. Such remarks can be deemed inappropriate and may cause offence.
• Dragging it out: Keep your speech concise and engaging. Aim for a maximum of 5 minutes, and ideally closer to 2-3 minutes. This helps to hold the audience's attention and ensures your speech is well-paced.

Frequently asked questions